بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum
Dear Friends
I pray that you are well.
What a beautiful sight this morning...a big group of male students in white Islamic hats together crossing the busy main road in front of Al-Azhar University. I was so impressed. The automobiles gave way. SubhanAllah. Islam is definitely here to stay whether you are part of it or not. If you are part of it, you are carrying the banner of the Truth and you are definitely on the right side and you are the successful. If you are not part of it, you are definitely on the wrong side and may Allah guide you so you will be saved from the calamities in this life and the next.
Contrast with...
My son and I were at the US Embassy today. While waiting by a service window, we became captive audience of an interview for a marriage license right in front of us.
Interviewer: How many do you think we do this (interview for marriage license) everyday?
Interviewee: I am sure many, 100?
Interviewer: 8 out of 10 of these cases, the couple met on the internet and 1 or 2 they came like you, met at coffee shop. They go on a date, the guy says nice things and the woman is flattered and he makes her feel good. They get married, he gets to live in the US, and after 4 or 5 years when he gets his green card/citizenship, then they are divorced. These men married American women because they saw the opportunity to live in the United States. Don't be the cause of bringing more people to the country like this. (words in meaning)
The interview went on for a long while. I tried to block my ears. It was definitely a good exercise of "if it doesn't concern you, shut off your ears." But I could still hear some of the interview. It was clear to me that the the interviewer was trying to convince the woman not to marry the local man.
Tell our children, this is not an honorable way of getting into marriage. And definitely this is not the Islamic way to choose a spouse. It is always greener on the other side, but is it really?
During my practice of family law, I saw firsthand how children suffered when these marriages (for green card) inevitably ended up in divorces. They are the ones who suffer the most. The children typically wind up with the non-Muslim parent. In the best scenario children are bounced back and forth between the two parents, with no Islam, at least in one household. So, the man left what he thought to be a difficult life of his birth country, marry an American woman so he gets to come to America but what's so great about the broken home his children later inherit? He has traded his eternal akhirah for this ephemeral dunya. But he lost his dunya anyway--after having to spend all his money he worked hard for in legal costs and attorneys, and agonies for the rest of his life losing his kids.
So if you see the other side is greener, it is merely a pigment of your imagination. Don't be fooled.
In reality, it is all the same anywhere you live. Allah already set our provision. If you have fear of the small amount you see, don't forget the added factor of "barakah" (blessings) from Allah that you have not yet seen or might not be able to see. But it is there. However, the barakah only comes when you do things solely for the sake of Allah. You cannot quantify the blessings of Allah with numbers. If you do things for Allah, marry for Allah and have children for Allah, you are on your way to great success in this life and the next. Allah will not forsake you.
My son was going to tell the American woman, "Don't marry him, you are being stupid." But it was too late.
May Allah guide our families. Ameen. Please don't forget is in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.
And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam
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