In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum
Dear Friends
I pray that you are well.
On the authority of Abu Dharr Jundub ibn Junaadah, and Abu 'Abdul Rahman Mu'aadh bin Jabal (radiAllaahu anhuma) that the Messenger of Allah (sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
Fear Allah wherever you are, and follow up a bad deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave good-naturedly towards the people. [related by At-Tirmidhi]
This hadith talks about taqwa (Godfearingness), effacing the wrong through the right, and good character. The only real way to change our inner form is through taqwa and tawbah (repentance).
Taqwa is made beloved to the believers by clearly showing His love for this word and for the people characterized by this word. The basic meaning is protecting and guarding yourself against what you are afraid of. Tawqa of Allah (iitaqullah) means to do something (shield of good deeds) to place between yourself and the anger of Allah. It is also used with respect to Hell (ittaqunnar) or the Last Day (wattaqu yauman fihi illallah). Each of these, Hell and the Last Day, there is something to be frightened of. So protect yourself. How? By running towards Allah.
Tawbah is the process of turning back to Allah after we have made a slip.
Good character is the most central teaching in Islam. The whole religion of Islam is a means to perfect character, the way that we are--our substance, our quality.
The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said:
I was only sent to perfect noble character. (Ahmad)
Verily, the most beloved of you to me are the best of you in character. (Bukhari)
The most weightiest thing a person can bring in the Day of Judgment is not something that he did but it is the way that he was.
The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, was asked: "What most entered people into the garden?" He answered: "Taqwa of Allah and good character."
Taqwa and tawba work together. If there is no taqwa there is no impetus for change, if there is no tawba, your impetus will fade out. When taqwa dies, the flame necessarily dies with it. Taqwa and tawba are the magic elixir for transforming one's character. Through resolving to please Allah and avoid His anger, and repenting for one's slips does transformation result.
The nature of character is second nature. Someone who is mechanical cannot do many good deeds. You don't stop and think to do something good. You don't stop and formulate what are the reasons for you not to yell back at people because your character (patience, forbearing) will beat your mind to it. Someone is trying to annoy you, it doesn't vex you. You don't have to go through a mental process to bring on your patience. But mental process is needed on the way there. That's why the greatest act of worship is character transformation. We have a global intention in the beginning to acquire certain good character for the sake of Allah. Your great reward is the fact that you acquire this good character.
The point is not to be robotic but to be on auto pilot--obviously I am going to serve my guest kindly--you are kind; obviously I am going to dig into my pocket for that poor person--you are generous and merciful; obviously I am not going to throw tamper tantrum at my wife or beat her up when she is grumpy--you are chivalrous.
The change you want to make has to be for the sake of Allah--You show kindness to people and good treatment to others, including your parents, for the sake of Allah...You refrain from being angry and you are gentle and loving for the sake of Allah...and so on.
We know Allah does not love people who are angry. He loves people who are patient and merciful. So if you are working on your anger, make a condition for yourself, e.g. if I ever get angry out of the order, then I will give an extraordinary charity. Once a family therapist shared a story of a husband who promised his wife that he would punish himself by paying his wife a large sum of money if he abused his wife again. No one can enforce his promise in this world but his taqwa of Allah can.
We all know the level of who we are. Each one of us, no matter how good we are, have many areas that need change. Start working on changing them now, one by one--some examples are: impatient/rash to patient, ingratitude to gratitude, arrogant/boastful/ostentatious/proud/vane to humble, greedy/miser to generous, wasteful/excessive to frugal, irresponsible to responsible, unjust/unkind to just/kind, angry/rage/malicious to calm/merciful/forgiving, untrustworthy to trustworthy, hateful to loving, immodest to modest/shy/haya'.
This is not going to be an overnight transformation, but an on-going process. Some take more work to change than the other. But through constant resolve to please Allah and avoid His anger, and continuous tawba, the change and transformation will result. According to the saying of the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, "The best actions are continuous ones, even if they are slight."
If you work on them and they stay with you for the rest of your life, no act of worship can compare to something that you have changed within yourself that will stay with you for the rest of your life. That's why working on character is the weightiest thing a person can be busying himself on. Because this is the thing you are going to bring back with you to Allah--the person that you are.
May Allah grant you tawfiq (success) and success is from Allah alone. Ameen. Please include us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.
And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam
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