Giving Sincere Advice

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

On the authority of Abu Ruqayya Tameem ibn Aus ad-Daaree (radi Allahu anhu) that the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wassallam), said:

'The Deen (religion) is naseehah'. We said 'To whom?' He said 'To Allah and His Book, and His Messenger, and to the leaders of the Muslims and their common folk.'

[Muslim]

Naseehah is a comprehensive word, whose meaning implies the desire for all possible good for the one being advised. We cannot worship Allah sincerely without being sincere to what He has revealed, and to the people, giving naseehah according to their station in life. Also we have to respect and honor His Messenger, Allah bless him and grant him peace, which is to respect and honor what he said, did, approved of or recommended, and to love him for who he was and what he was.

It is not for everyone to give naseehah on religious matters, even if you think you know about certain matter.

First, our intention must be correct, that is, we are doing it to seek the pleasure of Allah. Only such an intention deserves reward from Allah and His acceptance. If the intention is other than for the sake of Allah, then we deserve the anger and wrath of Allah, not to mention the hatred and rejection of the person to whom the advice was given.

We must have a sincere concern for that person. A believer loves for his brother what he loves for himself. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wassallam), said:

None of you will truly believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself.

[Bukhari]

The naseehahis given to guide the person toward goodness, and take him away from harm. Advice is best given in private, indirectly, and in a positive manner that focuses on the next steps, not on what has already happened.

Ibn Rajab wrote: When the righteous predecessors intended to give naseehah to someone, they admonished him privately, to the point that some of them said, 'The one who exhorts his brother between him and himself, then it is naseeha. The one who exhorts him in front of people, then is merely scolding.'

The sincere advisor should not aid the Shaytan over his brother by publicly rebuking him and letting Shaytan beguile his brother into not taking the naseeha. Everyone loves to be treated with respect and honor.

The sincere advisor must be kind, soft and well mannered in giving the naseeha to others. Naseeha is like opening a door and that door will not be opened without the proper key. There is no better key to unlock the heart that is locked than kindness in giving advice, gentleness in exhortation and softness in speech.

The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wassallam), said:

Kindness is not to be found in anything but that adds to its beauty, and it is not withdrawn from anything but it makes it defective.

[Muslim]

Giving naseeha is a a sign of true brotherhood, a way of bringing the hearts closer, and of closing the doors of hatred and suspicion. When someone mentioned your faults try not to be apprehensive because the person may know something that perhaps you are unaware of, and is compelled to tell you about it out of sheer compassion.

'Umar bin Khattab (radhi Allahu anhu) was reported to have said, "There is no good in a people that don't give naseeha, and there is no good in a people that don't like naseeha."

وَالْعَصْرِ ﴿١﴾ إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ ﴿٢﴾ إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ ﴿٣

By time, (1) Indeed, mankind is in loss, (2) Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience. (3)

[Qur'an Al-'Asr 103]

By pointing out each other's faults, we help to keep each other from destruction.

فَأَخَذَتْهُمُ الرَّجْفَةُ فَأَصْبَحُوا فِي دَارِهِمْ جَاثِمِينَ ﴿٧٨﴾ فَتَوَلَّىٰ عَنْهُمْ وَقَالَ يَا قَوْمِ لَقَدْ أَبْلَغْتُكُمْ رِسَالَةَ رَبِّي وَنَصَحْتُ لَكُمْ وَلَـٰكِن لَّا تُحِبُّونَ النَّاصِحِينَ ﴿٧٩

So the earthquake seized them, and morning found them in their habitation fallen prostrate. (78) So he turned his back on them, and said, 'O my people, I have delivered to you the Message of my Lord, and advised you sincerely; but you do not love sincere advisors.' (79)

[Qur'an Al-'Araf 7:79]

May Allah grant us sincerity and patience. Ameen.

Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam