A Child Who Gladdens The Heart of His Parents

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wassallam said, “I wish I could meet my brothers.” The companions said, “Are we not your brothers?” The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam said, “You are my companions, but rather my brothers are those who believe in me yet they never saw me.” [Musnad Ahmad]

He sallallahu alayhi wassallam also said, “Those in my community with the strongest love for me are from the people who will come after me. Some of them would have given their family and wealth to have seen me.” (Muslim and Bukhari)

As parents, we hope for our children to succeed in life (both here and hereafter)--that they become righteous and Godfearing, have excellent character and praiseworthy manners, and they are dutiful to their parents and merciful to their families, and useful to society, and a joy to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam.

A child who has achieved this is the one who gladdens the heart of his/her parents, and like a child who is mentioned in the following du'a:

وَٱلَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَٰجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّـٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَٱجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

And those who say, "Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous."

[Qur’an, Al-Furqan 25:74]

Every child must aspire to fulfill the desires and hopes of his/her parents and constantly strive to be virtuous.

What You Can Do To Make Your Parents Happy

In today’s busy life, it’s getting harder and harder for people to stay close to their loved ones. But calling things difficult and shoving the dirt under the rug is no way out. We have to make efforts to make things work especially when it comes to relationships.

If your parents are happy with you, your life will be blessed and your life gets much easier. Although, as per the famous saying, you can’t please everyone, but no matter what one has to say, parents play a crucial role in our life and the presence of parents and the sort of relationship we share with them has a direct impact on other aspects of our life.

Nobody can repay what our parents have done for us but neither one can deny the fact that any relationship works best if it is arranged according to the two-way, give and take set-up. Even if your parents don’t expect anything in return of what they have done for you, it is always warm to do something for them and pleasantly surprise them. Let them know how much you love them.

So here are a few tips to make your parents happy and feel proud of you. These things are quite simple and small and can be adopted by a person of any age. And we always say, take care of small things and larger ones will automatically fall into place.

1. Stop being selfish

Don’t run to your parents only when you need them or do things for the sake of it. Love your parents and care for them, not because they are the authority and will favor you when you are good to them. Instead, put your effort in strengthening the bonds and nurturing a healthy relationship between you and them. If you will fake things, they might someday end up turning sour and hurt both of you. Show them you love them, because you actually do. After all its lovely to see your parents smile especially when the reason is you.

2. Accept your mistake

At the first place, don’t lie and even if you end up doing something wrong, don’t hide it. Go and admit your mistake rather than piling up lies and excuses on it. Resolve the issue and realize that you are, may be, wrong and owe an apology to them. They will understand your part and quickly forgive, as soon as you apologize.

3. Share their problems

If your parents look stressed, leave everything aside for a few minutes and ask them what is wrong and if you can do anything to help them out. If they don’t want to share then it’s alright, don’t annoy them and be careful of not encroaching in their personal space. And if they choose to share with you, carefully listen without interrupting. Sometimes even you can be the cause of their concern, so stay calm and collected when they speak. And once they complete, console them and try to fix the problematic and even you can’t, at least assure them they need not worry. And no matter what the problem is and whether they speak their heart out or not, make sure try to cheer them up and make sure you hug them or kiss their forehead before you leave.

4. Give them salaams every morning. Make a point to say 'assalaamu alaykum' to them every morning. It will put a smile on their faces and it will start your day on the right foot with them. Even if you don't live with your parents, you can call to give that short message and let them hear your voice unless you are in the wildlife safari of hyenas and lions.

5. Do little things for them

You can take them out or purchase a gift for them, do something remarkable. Apart from it, you can prepare breakfast for them on a random day or surprise them with something they like. Praise what they cook for you and when it is delicious, go to them and make them taste it with your hands. These little affectionate things convey all that is never said and your parents love to see when their child is respecting family moments.

6. Be grateful

They may never say but they have done a lot for you, you may ignore but they love you a lot, they don’t expect anything but it is your duty to do something for them. Even if you can’t do anything for them and are very very busy in enjoying your life and work but at least take some time out to pay gratitude for things they have done for you, the sacrifices they made and loving you even when you totally made them angry. Do it occasionally, say it with a little thank you card you made yourself or simply hug them and say ‘Thank you and love you’. Stop pulling away, not only it will make them happy and take you closer to them but will also add to the cherishable memories for both of you.

7. Spend time with your parents

Forget all the tips and stop worrying about how make parents happy. Just take some time out and be with your parents. For parents children are the best thing that happened to them. But when you ignore them they feel hurt and lonely and as they grow old they are in a constant urge of company. Thus, try to spend some quality time for your parents. You can watch some good Islamic series on YouTube or listen to Qur'an together or have dinner with them; take them out for a family picnic or you can simply stay at home and have an hearty talk with them.

8. Never Argue

Whether you are a son or a daughter, you can never deny the fact that your parents are more experienced than you, thus you have to think and listen with respect what they have to say and try to agree with them. And if you don’t, then keep your points respectfully in front of them. Don’t ever yell at or argue with them. It will more than making the matter worse, hurt them deep and they will end up believing you don’t respect and need them. Even if it is their mistake, at least listen to them and don’t talk rude with them or blindly criticize them. They only want to do good to you.

9. Be Responsible

If you are a responsible child, not only it will make your parents feel proud of you but will establish their trust deeper in you. Take care of your siblings, help them when they need something, don’t disturb your parents much over petty issues. Take care of yourself and be responsible for your actions, excel in whatever you do. Make sure you are truthful to them and don’t do anything which can hurt them. Respect the boundaries they have set for you, but that doesn’t mean you have to restrict yourself from doing what you wish, but just take care that you don’t cross the line so that they don’t have to keep an eye on you. Whatever independence is given to you, be happy with it and make occasional use of it. Too much use of freedom can be troublesome for them. This will make you mature and your parents confident about your actions.

10. Be Cooperative

Despite everything else, it is your duty to help your parents when they need you or even when they don’t need you. You can do little things for them, like peel the vegetables, trim the grass wash the car for them before they go out, dust off the furniture or take the garbage out. Moreover, don’t wish for all the attention and instead you can attend your siblings, at times younger ones can be quite annoying. Let them rest for a while and take some time out for themselves which they miss after having a family. But please don’t go gaga over what you do. Keep doing the things silently and they will eventually notice and feel proud of you.

11. Be obedient

As kids grow they start having a mindset of their own and become more decisive about what is right or wrong. They want the complete control of their lives under them. But keep in mind the fact that your parents have done a lot for you and whatever they decide is never against you. Try to obey what they say. Do what they ask you. Do it with pride and do not create a fuss about it. Respect their rules, and don’t do things they don’t like, even when they are not around, even when you live on your own.

12. Ask them for advice: Make them a part of your life. They raised you up from a baby to a woman/man. Give them the respect that they deserve.

13. Stay a kid when you are with them: Don't pretend to be a grown up. No one ever is. I am not saying make your parents do all the work and lounge around doing nothing. Just because you are the present generation don't dismiss your parents as relics. Understand that you are their kid. And for them you'll always be that.

14. Take their 'beatings': Honestly, how much can they hurt you? They are old. After a few rounds they will have to quiet themselves down without you having to fight back. Don't riley them up.

A child who is good to his parents will be bounteously rewarded with Paradise in the Hereafter and will enjoy a life of happiness in this world before the next. On the other hand, a child who mistreats his parents will incur the wrath of Allah and will be punished in this world before the next.

The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "Allah’s pleasure ceases when the parents’ pleasure cease; Allah's Wrath ceases when the parents’ wrath cease." [Bukhari]

It is reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) has said, "Whoever comes into the morning and both his parents are pleased with him, he comes into the morning with two doors of Paradise open to him. Whoever goes into the evening and both parents are pleased with him, he goes into the evening with two doors of Paradise open for him. And if he has just one parent, then one door of Paradise is open to him. Whoever comes into the morning and both his parents are angry with him, he comes into the morning with 2 doors of hellfire open to him. Whoever goes into the evening with both parents are angry with him, he goes into the evening with 2 doors of hellfire open to him. And if he has just one parent, then one door is open for him." After realizing this huge position of parents that the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, was telling the companions about, one of the Companions asked, "Even if the parents were oppressive to them?" The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, replied, "Even if they oppress the child, even if they oppress the child, even if they oppress the child."

No doubt, having parents is a huge blessing for the doors of Paradise are open to him. Show your gratitude to Allah by being grateful to your parents. Give your very best to them and make du'a for them during each prayer.

رَّ‌بِّ ٱرْ‌حَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَ‌بَّيَانِى صَغِيرً‌ۭا ...

...My Lord, have mercy on them both (my parents) as they nurtured me when I was little.

[Qur'an, Al-Isra' 17:24]

Teach your children this du'a so they can make this great du'a for you and your parents and your parents' parents, and so on....and they will in turn teach it to their children who will make du'a for them and for their grandparents (that is you) and so on... This good deed takes so little of your time but the reward is immense as Allah Most High says,

هَلْ جَزَآءُ ٱلْإِحْسَـٰنِ إِلَّا ٱلْإِحْسَـٰنُ ﴿٦٠

Is the reward for good [anything] but good? (60)

[Qur'an, Ar-Rahman 55:60]

May Allah make our children comfort to our eyes and help them be obedient to Him. Ameen.

And Allah knows best and He alone grant success.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassallam.

Wassalaam