بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam.
The best gift for your children is your righteousness, not smartphones, cars, luxurious lifestyle. You are the number one role model for your
children. If they don't see you pray, don't see you fast, don't see you
with proper hijab and cover properly, don't see you read Qur'an, don't see you good to your
parents, relatives, neighbors, don't see you give charity, don't see your compassion and good manners, don't see
you avid in seeking knowledge, or you having bad companions, showing
your body that you are not supposed to, they won't know any better. Many
a time schools are where your children pick up bad behavior, bad
manners, bad speech, bad company -- even in many Islamic/Muslim schools.
Don't make a mistake of thinking that schools can teach your children
Islam, the proper manners and keep them away from bad company. Schools
can only do so much with the limited resources they have.
If they see the same behavior at home, you are only affirming what they
see at school. And then when your son is 16, now taller than you,
stronger than you, smarter than you, and he brings a girlfriend home or
tells you that Islam is not for him, don't be flabbergasted. You should
know it was coming. Or, if you have a daughter, she is now 15, you
couldn't believe what you see on her Facebook or what's on her phone
picture gallery -- photos of her with boys and girls, or her with a boy,
no haya' (shyness, modesty, shame), no hijab, worse she came home one
day and told you she is pregnant, doesn't know who the father is.
Devastated? It's the beginning of your nightmare. You thought you have
given your children everything...but wrong! You have given them keys to
evil and it's very difficult to bring back the genie when it's out of
the bottle so to speak. So don't let it out in the first place.
Children are no doubt huge tests for parents.
Allah Almighty says,
نَّمَآ أَمْوَٰلُكُمْ وَأَوْلَـٰدُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ ۚ وَٱللَّـهُ عِندَهُۥٓ أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌ ﴿١٥
Indeed, your wealth and children are a trial.
[Qur'an At-Taghabun 64:15]
The wealth and the children are a test from Allah to His slave, so that
He may know his ability of (correct) upbringing of his children, and the
payment of the zakah on his wealth.
The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said, "The best of
wealth is the righteous for a righteous person." [related by Ahmad]
He, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, also said, "When a person dies, his
action discontinues except for three: a continuing charity, or knowledge
which proves to be of benefit, or a righteous son who supplicates for
him." [related by Muslim]
Allah Almighty says,
ٱلْمَالُ وَٱلْبَنُونَ زِينَةُ ٱلْحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنْيَا ۖ
وَٱلْبَـٰقِيَـٰتُ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتُ خَيْرٌ عِندَ رَبِّكَ ثَوَابًا وَخَيْرٌ
أَمَلًا ﴿٤٦
Wealth and children are [but] adornment of the worldly life. But the
enduring good deeds are better to your Lord for reward and better for
[one's] hope. (46)
[Qur'an Al-Kahf 18:46]
Raising children to be good Muslims and decent human beings is a huge
challenge especially in this technological era. They have so many
windows available to look into. It's scary out there. Shaytan is
everywhere. We have to try our best to direct our children to the right
windows and always seek Allah's help and make lots of du'a for them.
The one consolation for me is in the story in the Qur'an of the meeting
of Prophet Musa and Al-Khidr, peace be upon them. Al-Khidr reinforced a
broken wall in a town in which people were selfish and inhospitable.
Beneath the wall lay a treasure that belonged to two orphans, so in
order to protect the treasure from the people of the town, Al-Khidr
fixed the wall. It was revealed that the reason he was ordered to fix
the wall for the orphans was because their father was a righteous man.
وَأَمَّا ٱلْجِدَارُ فَكَانَ لِغُلَـٰمَيْنِ يَتِيمَيْنِ فِى
ٱلْمَدِينَةِ وَكَانَ تَحْتَهُۥ كَنزٌ لَّهُمَا وَكَانَ أَبُوهُمَا
صَـٰلِحًا فَأَرَادَ رَبُّكَ أَن يَبْلُغَآ أَشُدَّهُمَا وَيَسْتَخْرِجَا
كَنزَهُمَا رَحْمَةً مِّن رَّبِّكَ ۚ وَمَا فَعَلْتُهُۥ عَنْ أَمْرِى ۚ
ذَٰلِكَ تَأْوِيلُ مَا لَمْ تَسْطِع عَّلَيْهِ صَبْرًا ﴿٨٢
And as for the wall, it belonged to two orphan boys in the city, and
there was beneath it a treasure for them, and their father had been
righteous. So your Lord intended that they reach maturity and extract
their treasure, as a mercy from your Lord. And I did it not of my own
accord. That is the interpretation of that about which you could not
have patience." (82)
[Qur'an Al-Kahf 18:82]
Sa'id bin Jubayr narrated from Ibn 'Abbas: “They were taken care of
because their father was a righteous man, although it is not stated that
they themselves were righteous.”
So, so long as we live, for every breath we take, we keep working on
ourselves to do good and be righteous servants of Allah and pray that
Allah will protect our children from the menace of this world and
disobedience. He is the best Protector and Guardian.
We can't control people's actions, including our children's, but we can
control our own actions. Uphold Allah's commands and Allah will take
care of your children whether you are with them or not.
May Allah help us raise our children well and grant us righteous
children and make us and our children good examples for the righteous.
Ameen.
Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam.
And Allah knows best and is Most Wise, and He alone grants success, and to Him is the final return of all.
Wassalaam
