بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum
Dear Friends
I pray that you are well
Marriage is one of the heaviest sunnas to bear and most difficult rights to fulfill while being the most complete of matters in benefit and the greatest of virtues in reward. In it is the protection of the religion, perfection of character and the pride of the Master of creation.
It is reported that the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "When a slave married, he has completed half of the religion, so let him fear Allah in the remaining half."
May Allah help you all who are married. And for those who are not married and thinking about getting married, first thing is to learn about marriage. It becomes obligatory upon you to seek this knowledge once you intend to get married. You don't start swimming when you haven't learned how to swim. You will drown. Marriage is the same. If you are married and haven't learn it, you need to learn it now, especially if you are drowning--this knowledge will help you inshaAllah. Tawfiq.
Marriage is not about seeking or demanding your rights. It is about working together to help each other come closer to Allah. If this is not happening in your marriage, you ought to take a look at it seriously and fix it because this is not a good marriage.
Don't take each other for granted. If a man has a righteous and modest wife, he should be grateful. Realize that it is a blessing he is not able to thank Allah for. It is a huge relief of a mountain of headache by having a righteous and modest wife. Imagine having to keep thinking about his wife running off with a man while he is at work! So, bear her argumentation and overbearingness patiently as it is not seemly for a man to argue with his wife. A wife should not forget the favors of her husband, no matter how slight. She should see her shortcomings in serving him.
Allah bring you together for a purpose--to know Him and to worship Him--so seek to please Allah and no one else. When you do something for your spouse, you do it for Allah, not because your spouse deserves it, not because you expect something from the other person. Leave the reward to Allah--His treasure is greater. If you don't fulfill your duties, remember who you are displeasing more--Allah.
Something to reflect on...
One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened. He found her lounging in the bedroom, still curled in bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and ask me what in the world did I do today?"
"Yes" was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it!!!"
May Allah bless your day. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.
Wassalaam
