What Happen To Our Children?!

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

In today's society, more often than not we see children who, by cultural standards of 20-30 years ago, are utterly rude to their parents. Back then, our parents would only need to raise their eyebrows or make a quick stare at us and we immediately understood what it meant and immediately correct our behavior. Those behaviors which our parents found unacceptable or detestable are considered benign or non-issue (and some even think it is funny) in many households today.

How much things have deteriorated in the last few decades and have become worse and worse! You see little and big bosses running around, raising their voices like the bray of a donkey, telling their parents what to do! Indeed, one of the signs of the Hour is that children will become so ill-mannered and insolent towards their parents that they treat their parents as though they are their slaves. May Allah save us from this calamity. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un.

The solution is simple but implementation is not as simple. Granted. It all goes back to our Islam. Do we want to follow Allah's guidance or what everybody else are doing? We have to consciously put our best effort to live Islam if we want good in this life and the next. The result of our efforts is for Allah to determine. But we have to do what we must because each individual, each generation, and each people is responsible for its own good deeds or misdeeds.

What values are we instilling in our children? What are we telling our children when we ourselves are not kind to our parents? What examples are we setting for our children when we hardly visit our parents, when we don't bring them over, when we don't eat with them often, when we don't sit with them much, when we don't call our parents much, when we don't hug our parents much, when they live in the pits and you live in a nice comfy home? If you cannot appreciate your parents' sacrifices for bringing you to this world, look at your own kids, how you struggle for them, and if you don't have kids, look at your neighbor's or friend's kids, how their parents struggle for them.

If we were to spend a few moments reflecting on the sacrifices that our parents have made for us from the time we were a little clot until we become this beautiful butterfly, we cannot but dearly love our parents and feel how selfish we have been towards them. Why can't you make them feel like a butterfly?

If you have a wonderful relationship with your parents, that's a good sign, but I reckon it is still not enough. Good parents never ask for anything back from their children. They are satisfied with whatever little that their children give. They are not selfish--they only want all good to come to their children. But you can do more for them. There is never enough good that someone can do for their parents.

To begin, you should always ask Allah to forgive and have mercy on your parents--you do this much, at least 5 times a day after each prescribed prayers, and whenever they come to your mind. You ask Allah that He be pleased with you.

If your parents are still alive, the next best gift for them is your regular companionship with them. Remember, you were hanging on them when you were little and they did not push you away. If you don't have parents anymore, don't despair, you can do these good deeds to their sisters, brothers and their good friends who are still alive.

Seriously, we need to show good examples to our children in our treatment of our parents (and our elders for that matter) even if our children are still small, because they see, they look and they learn fast. Before you know it they start talking back to you and before your next blink, they start yelling at you!

"We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months. At length, when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years, he says, "O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me, and upon both my parents, and that I may work righteousness such as You may approve; and be gracious to me in my issue. Truly have I turned to You and truly do I bow (to You) in Islam. Such are they from whom We shall accept the best of their deeds and pass by their ill deeds: (They shall be) among the Companions of the Garden: a promise! of truth, which was made to them (in this life)."

"But (there is one)who says to his parents, "Fie on you! Do you hold out the promise to me that I shall be raised up, even though generations have passed before me (without rising again)?" And they two seek God’s aid, (and rebuke the son): "Woe to you! Have faith! for the promise of God is true." But he says, "This is nothing but tales of the ancients! Such are they against whom is proved the sentence among the previous generations of Jinns and men, that have passed away; for they will be (utterly) lost."

"And to all are (assigned) degrees according to the deeds which they (have done), and in order that (God) may recompense their deeds, and no injustice be done to them."

Qur'an al-Ahqaf 46:15-19


And Allah knows best.

May Allah forgive us and our parents and bestow His Grace and Mercy on us and our parents. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

Wassalaam