Modesty

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

"If you feel no shame, then do as you wish. " related by Bukhari

The global meaning of this hadith is to be people who have modesty. It is the key aim of Islam to inculcate in people a sense of modesty (haya'). Haya' is a branch of faith. Modesty prevents a person from committing shameful and evil deeds, and encourages him towards piety and good actions.

This idea that if I do this someone might take me wrong and so I am not going to do this. There is this sense of proper conduct. Haya' always bring good with it.

For example, it is not haram to drive a hot bargain with someone selling slippers or scarves/hijabs by the masjid sidewalk, for example, but it is inappropriate. You can tell that these small vendors probably need more than your detriment of paying that slightly higher price. Their sales for the day might very well be barely enough to feed their families the next day.

Haya' looks out for what is proper and what is the higher conduct. If people were to see you trying to bargain down under this circumstance, you would be shy to do that.

Have haya' from Allah is like you have two righteous man always with you. This will naturally influence your conduct. The sense of Allah looking at you will give you this shame before Allah and Allah is more worthy of the shame.

"Haya' from Allah is that you protect the head in what it comprehends, and the stomach in what it contains, and that you remember death and decay. Whoever wants the next life leaves the adornment of this life. Whoever does that has truly had haya' from Allah." Ibn Mas'ud (Ahmad, Tirmidhi)

Someone who does not care about Allah looking at him, about people looking at him and does not care about what is proper, nothing can stop this person from any ugly act, as if he has no faith. So if you feel no shame, then do what you want. You are basically a worthless person. You cannot be guided. And you shall face the consequences. This is the specific meaning of the above hadith as what some scholars said.

Haya' is the most important trait that people can have when dealing with people. When you are going to situation when no one knows you, you can do anything and get away with it. That is when evil or selfishness comes out from people. Inculcating haya' from within us can only bring good, and destroying it will bring only bad.

Haya' applies to man and woman. Having haya' is not being wimpy or weak. It is having a sense of correctness.

The true haya' of a Muslim woman boils down to confidence when dealing with man. For example, her communication is not giggly, not talking in incomplete sentence, not having a weak physical language--leaning, head not straight, etc, her voice is not too soft and low and she avoids flowery topics. All interactions are direct and clear, and give no room for mistaken understanding. She gets to the point. Man will be forced to deal with her to the point and give her what she needs. However, the rule of thumb is we do not interact with the opposite gender except for a reason--such as learning, business and maintaining family relation.

We can learn haya' from the story of Prophet Musa, alayhissalaam, and the two women of Madyan. The Qur'an described the woman as being full of modesty when she was coming toward Prophet Musa, alayhissalaam. She was covered with haya'. Everything she did was clear to the point and she avoided all misunderstanding.

"Then, when he turned his face towards (the land of) Madyan, he (Prophet Musa) said: "I do hope that my Lord will show me the smooth and straight Path. And when he arrived at the watering (place) in Madyan, he found there a group of men watering (their flocks), and besides them he found two women who were keeping back (their flocks). He said: "What is the matter with you?" They said: "We cannot water (our flocks) until the shepherds take back (their flocks): And our father is a very old man." So he watered (their flocks) for them; then he turned back to the shade, and said:"O my Lord! truly am I in (desperate) need of any good that You do send me!" Afterwards one of the (damsels) came (back) to him, walking bashfully. She said: "My father invites you that he may reward you for having watered (our flocks) for us." So when he came to him and narrated the story, he said: "Fear you not: (well) have you escaped from unjust people." Qur'an 28:22-25

May Allah grant us haya'. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers, Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam