Raising A Good Muslim

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

Our children are our responsibility before Allah. It is obligatory to raise them well as Muslims and teach them obligatory knowledge. Some of the traits that we should inculcate in them is humility, haya' (sense of shame), and respect for their parents, elders and teachers.

If we raise our children well, we will share the reward for their good deeds, and if we don't, we will share the sin of their bad deeds. We should neither be too strict nor too lax with them. There should be a balance but Islamic principles should not be compromised.

Children are very influenced by the company they keep. If they have good company, it will not make your job so difficult to raise them as good Muslims. By good means practicing Muslim with good character. So, this should be your top order of things--weed out their friends. It is easier to do this now than later when you are trying to fix things that have gone bad. I always believe that it is better for them not to have any friends than having one non Muslim friend, even if this non Muslim has an excellent behavior, because he does not pray. Allah knows best.

I remember one of my children came up with this brilliant argument in order to persuade me to let him go out with his school friends (non Muslim) or to have them come over--he said he can do da'wah to them. We know all too well that it is easier to follow bad than to follow good. Who is going to remind him to pray when no one else prays, just to name one very important duty that we should teach our children and not be lax about with them right from beginning. Prayer is the mark of a Muslim. So, I told him that it was more important that he did da'wah on himself, and show him the areas that needed it--and for majority of our children (and us, for that matter), this is not difficult to do; we have many shortcomings.

Reading Surah Luqman (and meanings) with them regularly is a helpful reminder.

This Surah relates to Wisdom and the Qur’an is appropriately called the Wise Book, or the Book of Wisdom. In verse 12 there is a reference to Luqman the Wise. "Wise" in this sense (Hakim) means not only a man versed in knowledge, human and Divine, but one carrying out in practical conduct ('amal) the right course in life to the utmost of his power. His knowledge is correct and practical, but not necessarily complete: for no man is perfect. The ideal was fulfilled in a most remarkable degree in the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, and in the Sacred Book which was revealed through him.

Therefore, it is of great importance to teach our children the life of the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, and cultivate the love for him, for he is the best role model.

The righteous can be distinguished by three marks, which are summed up in the phrase "doers of good" in this Surah, i.e. (1) they yearn towards Allah in duty, love and prayer, (2) they love and serve their fellow-men in charity, (3) they win peace and rest for themselves in the assured hope of the Future. They get the blessings because they submit their will to Allah’s Will and receive His guidance. They will do well in this life (from the highest standpoint) and will reach their true Goal in the Future.

May Allah guide us and help us raise our children well. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam