In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum
We have been hearing about the signs of the end of time. As we see turbulence, catastrophe, violence, extremism, bloodshed or introduction to bloodshed, the end of time is often invoked. But what are you doing about your behavior towards your parents?
Human beings suffer— either due to their own mistakes or due to the collective mistakes of society. Some instructions from the Qur'an are to be followed at the individual level and some other instructions are to be implemented at a social level, and it’s important to honor both. Correcting the actions of a society may be beyond our capacity, but it’s important to make our earnest efforts, and correcting our own actions is imperative.
In the famous hadith Jibril (recorded in Sahih Muslim), we were told about two of the signs of the end of time (signs of the Hour):
... Jibril (peace be upon him) said: “Then tell me about the Hour.”
The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “The one questioned about it knows no better than the questioner.”
Jibril (peace be upon him): “Then tell me about its signs.”
The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam): “That the slave-girl will give birth to her mistress, and that you will see barefooted, naked destitute shepherds competing in constructing lofty buildings.”
Then he (the man) left, and I ('Omar) stayed for a time.
Then he (the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “O `Omar, do you know who the questioner was?”
I ('Omar) said: “Allah and His Messenger know best.”
He (the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “It was Jibril, who came to teach you your religion.”
This is knowledge, not meant for entertainment or nice to know kind of thing. There is no knowledge that has to come to us other than it was meant to be practical-- to prepare us to see the world the right way, and encourage us the correct belief and the right actions with lens of of revelation (Qur'an, Sunnah and Prophetic guidance). If we use other lens than these, then we can be a little disturbed or totally lost. That disturbance is just the wrong lens you are using, not the knowledge.
In the above hadith, the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) gave two signs of the Hour, which should spur us to change ourselves. One of the signs is "That the slave-girl will give birth to her mistress"
The best and most well-founded explanation of the hadith, is the opinion of Al-Hafiz Ibn Hajar which implies that it refers to the spread of disobedience to one’s parents. The child will become as if he/she is a parent. This sign that has become increasingly noticeable in a heart-breaking way. A son, who is still being cared for by their parents, gives them orders in a non-respectful way that hurts their feelings and honor. A daughter will treat her mother in a way mistress treats her slaves. This has become common practice.
One’s parents are one of the greatest blessings that not many children appreciate it until they lose it. One’s parents may sacrifice all that which they have and spare no effort in order to make their children happy. The happiest moment in a father’s life is when he deprives himself of a piece of food and gives it to his child. The best moment in a mother’s life is when she spends all the night caring for her child till he/she sleeps.
Everyone whom Allah has given children understands this and knows well the honorable rank parents deserve and how much they do for their children. Just like a fetus bird takes its nourishment from the egg leaving behind brittle eggshell, children consume every good thing their parents have and get the fruit of every effort their parents make in this life. One’s parents remain giving till they get aged and old, yet still happy.
Parents’ kindness never runs out. Some children, however, become ungrateful to all this love, kindness and care and repay it with ingratitude, disobedience and offense, treating their parents cruelly and mercilessly. Ingratitude to one’s parents reaches its climax, it is very difficult but impossible for anyone to imagine that a son badmouth his mother to other people, or refuse a hug by his mother, or dares beat his father, or a daughter dares beat her mother. What an offensive example of ingratitude to one’s parents.
In the Qur’an Allah enjoined being dutiful and benevolent to one’s parents, immediately after he enjoined worshiping him alone (Qur'an, Al-Isra' 17:23). Allah makes the command of being dutiful to them next to the command of worshiping him alone in importance and degree. Even the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) deemed polytheism as the gravest sin, and made the second major sin after it as disobedience to one’s parents. Is this possible? Yes, indeed. As in the two authentic books of hadith, according to a hadith narrated by Abu Bakr, The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said thrice “should I not inform you about the greatest of sins?” They said “yes inform us O Prophet of Allah.” He said, “Associating others with Allah in worship.” What next? The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, “Disobedience to one’s parents.” The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) then sat up after he had been reclining (on a pillow) and said, "And I warn you against giving a false witness, and he kept on saying that warning till we thought he would not stop. (Sahih Al-Bukhari, No.2484)
Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said, “Three Quranic commands were revealed; with each of those command attached to another command, one command cannot be taken without the command attached to it.” The first is the verse: “Obey Allah and obey the Prophet.” This means that those who obey Allah and do not obey the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) are not accepted by Allah. The second one is: “And perform the prayer and give Zakah.” Thus, anyone performs prayer and does not pay Zakah, he will not be accepted with Allah. The third one is: “Be grateful to Me and to your parents.” Can you understand what it means by “Be grateful to Me and to your parents.”? It means that those who are grateful to Allah but not grateful to their parents, their righteous work are not accepted with Allah.
Disobedience to one’s parents is one of the reasons of losing Allah’s mercy and being deprived of Paradise. Whatever the disobedience the child does, Allah will not accept from him any act of worship, be it voluntary or obligatory on the Day of Judgment. Can this happen? Yes! Disobedience to one’s parents is a very horrible sin and now it is a sign indicating the approach of the Judgment Day. Actually the real loser is he whose good deeds are not accepted.
In the Qur'an Allah also says, و بالوالدين إحْسانًا
The common translation is '...and be good to the parents'. This translation has captured the gist of the meaning but has missed the essence of what Allah is communicating. If you look at it from a grammatical point of view you will unravel a much deeper, profound meaning.
Firstly, "good" is not an accurate translation. When studying Arabic you realize that "Ihsan" actually suggests a level of beauty and excellence - surpassing the everyday 'good' to a much higher degree. Looking closer into the Arabic, there is no equivalent for 'be'. From this, we can derive that Allah opens up an abundance of opportunities for us to do anything that falls under the umbrella of beauty and excellence with our parents.
Allah is therefore directing for mankind to actually surpass doing 'good' and to act with utmost beauty and excellence whilst undertaking any and every task relating to our parents: speaking, listening, even disagreeing fall under His divine guidance.
May Allah guide our children and help them obey Him and their parents, and save us from the trials and tribulations of this life and the next. Ameen.
Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam.
And Allah knows best and is Most Wise, and He alone grants success, and to Him is the final return of all.
Wassalaam
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