Men As Committed Protectors And Maintainers Of Women

Bismillah 

Allah Subhanahu Ta'ala says in Surah An-Nisa,

ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنْ أَمْوَٰلِهِ

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has preferred in bounty one of them over another, and for that they have expended of their property. (Quran, An-Nisa 4:34)

The Ayah opens up by telling us that men are “qawwam” to women. Allah has given men preference over women. This is a profound language. Qawwam are committed caretakers and protectors to women. 

This Ayah is not about superiority of men but it is about the greater responsibility of men. In some things men are being given an advantage, in other things women are being given an advantage.

None of us will dare to say that he has a higher rank than his mother. We know the high maqam (status) of mothers in Islam. Immediately after worship of Him, Allah goes to talk about ihsan (excellent treatment) towards the parents. He elaborates by talking about what the mother has done for her child. The status of mother is a very serious thing.

وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِ إِحْسَٰنًا ۖ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُۥ كُرْهًا وَوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهًا ۖ وَحَمْلُهُۥ وَفِصَٰلُهُۥ ثَلَٰثُونَ شَهْرًا ۚ حَتَّىٰٓ إِذَا بَلَغَ أَشُدَّهُۥ وَبَلَغَ أَرْبَعِينَ سَنَةً قَالَ رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِىٓ أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ ٱلَّتِىٓ أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَىَّ وَعَلَىٰ وَٰلِدَىَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَٰلِحًا تَرْضَىٰهُ وَأَصْلِحْ لِى فِى ذُرِّيَّتِىٓ ۖ إِنِّى تُبْتُ إِلَيْكَ وَإِنِّى مِنَ ٱلْمُسْلِمِينَ ‎﴿١٥﴾

And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims." (Quran, Al Ahqaf 46:15)

In our relationship with our mothers, our mothers are given more preference than us.

Bani Israel was given preference over anybody else in that Allah gave them more Prophets than anybody else. The Messengers ( أُو۟لُوا۟ ٱلْعَزْمِ ) were given more preference which means they were given a heavier duty and harder tasks than other Prophets. Allah chose this Ummah and the Sahabah for the heavier duty of carrying His Message.

Allah doesn’t allow the notion of responsibility and preference to be separated. When the Israelite refused to carry their responsibilities they became the preferred to the one cursed.

The Islamic divorce laws seem like heavy handed because the man is given the right to divorce his wife with as easy as the word. However, Allah gave warnings to men, not one but multiple threats against transgression and injustices towards their womenfolk. Why? Because you were just given an advantage – which means if you play with this advantage you are more in trouble with Allah than anybody else.

In our religion, it makes no sense if you take the taqwa of Allah (mindfulness and fear of Allah) out of the equation. If you just have the rules and the rules are so separated from mindfulness of Allah, then those rules become a means of injustice. It is with the taqwa of Allah that Islam delivers justice, fairness and beauty.

As qawwam, you are the security, the protector, the maintainer of peace, the maintainer of stability in the home. Even if you have to correct their wrong, you don’t embarrass them -- you find a time that is safe for them, so to protect their feelings and dignity. Qawwam do not make passing comments at their women in their family.

If there is any wrongdoing, as qawwam, you understand the wrong that was done, at least you acknowledge the wrong. You take delicate approach to settle problems between women in your household. Your job is to deescalate problems, not escalate or ignore them. Everybody in the family might try to pull you towards them and your job is to stand up straight. When you stand up upright, everybody calms down because you are there. You are going to regulate everybody’s emotion too. You have to take a delicate role. Allah said that role is tested over and over again, in different ways all the time.

Tell your family to pray and stay firm yourself. If your mother is doing something haram, as a son, protecting her is to take care of her not only in this world, but also her akhirah. In advising her to stop the haram, you do it with much respect, love and care.

Men have a financial responsibility towards the women in their lives. The spirit of the Quran and the Message of the Quran creates men that are financially responsible. Once you are the breadwinner in the home, got the job, and making the money, you don’t get to decide who gets more or less based on somebody else’s feelings but based on the principles of Allah that are given to you. Nobody can compel you to commit waste (israf). You make the decision with Allah and justice in mind first, and when that happens everybody might hate you. But you must stand by the right thing. You don’t become the enemy to any of them, but you become qawwam and stood by the right things.

Clearly, this Ayah does not give you a lofty first class seat in the family. This Ayah actually puts you on the hook. You become responsible with money decisions. And at the end of the day you have to keep an eye with where the money is going. Sometimes when the budget is tight, you have to make tough decisions. There will always be people who don’t like your decision but you have to be man enough to make that decision.

May Allah grant us taqwa and enable us to engage His Words with humility and sincerity. May Allah open the door of His wisdom and understanding onto our hearts, not only to understand it clearly but also to express it to others properly. Aameen.

Allahumma salli ala Muhammad wa ala aalihi wasahbihi wassalaam.

And Allah knows best.

Perfect Stars -- Hassan Ibn Thabit r.a

Bismillah

Hasan ibn Thabit radhiyallahu anhu was one of the three Muslims involved in the slander of Aisha radhiyallahu anha and punished with 80 lashes. Allah accepted his repentance.

Hassan was a great poet. He became the official poet of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam, and has a special mimbar erected for him (Mimbar of Hassan) in the Prophet's masjid where he recited poetry while Rasululllah sallallahu alayhi wasallam was still alive. He was the one when the Quraysh wrote a poem against the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam asked Hassan to defend him with his poems.

Al-Bara' bin `Azib said (through another chain of sub-narrators):

"On the day of Quraiza's (siege), Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to Hassan bin Thabit, 'Abuse them (with your poems), and Jibril is with you.'" (Bukhari)

Did Hassan say "I am not qualified ... you know this about me ... who am I?" or he realized perhaps in this is his honor and forgiveness.

Everybody has something to contribute to the ummah, even if he has sinned.

Every single one of us has a unique role to play. The role of Hassan was a role that none of the sahabah could do. Yet when his time came to shine, he stood up and did what Abu Bakar, Omar, Othman, Ali, Abu Hurayrah, Khalid ibn Walid radhiyallahu anhum could not do. This is unique to him despite his shortcomings.  He is our role model.

Next time when you find good for the ummah, don't let shaytan tells you "Who are you to benefit the ummah, have you forgotten this bad and that bad you have done?" A true Muslim recognizes his sin and repents, but he never used his sin to stop him from doing good.

May Allah make us true Muslims and grant us honor and forgiveness. Aameen.

Let's Read Surah Kahf Today (Friday) -- Put Your Reliance On Allah

Bismillah

 

Surah Al Kahf is a very profound Surah and very uniquely organized. It is meant to protect us from one of the greatest trials that is going to afflict humanity. ‏

 

ٱلْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ ٱلَّذِىٓ أَنزَلَ عَلَىٰ عَبْدِهِ ٱلْكِتَٰبَ وَلَمْ يَجْعَل لَّهُۥ عِوَجَا ۜ ‎﴿١﴾‏ قَيِّمًا لِّيُنذِرَ بَأْسًا شَدِيدًا مِّن لَّدُنْهُ وَيُبَشِّرَ ٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ ٱلَّذِينَ يَعْمَلُونَ ٱلصَّٰلِحَٰتِ أَنَّ لَهُمْ أَجْرًا حَسَنًا ‎﴿٢﴾‏ مَّٰكِثِينَ فِيهِ أَبَدًا ‎﴿٣﴾

 

[All] praise is [due] to Allah, who has sent down upon His Servant the Book and has not made therein any deviance. (1) [He has made it] straight, to warn of severe punishment from Him and to give good tidings to the believers who do righteous deeds that they will have a good reward (2) In which they will remain forever (3) [Quran, Al Kahf 18:1-3]

 

The stories in the Surah is really our approach to worldly life.

 

Having power is not a blessing and not having is not a blessing. When you have it use it the right way. 

 

When you don’t have it, understand that you still have much to do and much to learn. There is a reason why you don’t have it. 

 

When you have no resources, there maybe a grand plan like the youths of the cave, Allah will aid you anyway.

 

When you have a lot of material resources -- money, media, power reputation, etc -- none of that means anything. Allah can take that away whenever He wants like in the story of the man with two gardens.

 

So our reliance falls entirely on Allah.

 

The idea of Dajjal is actually someone who produces materially, physically, worldly incredible things. He can make crops grow or no crop grows. He can travel at paces nobody can travel. He can bring dead person to life and make it look like he brought the dead person to life. He is doing all these amazing material things and people are mesmerized by it and fall into worship of him.

 

The believers were told this Surah will keep you in check because after this Surah you will not be mesmerized by what you see. You understand there is a reality that you see and there is a much more powerful reality that you don’t see and don’t perceive, and that is the Power of Allah and that’s always at play. We should not rely on what we see but rely on what we do not see -- Allah azza wajal

 

Try to recite Surah Kahf every Friday. The intended advice of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam is to recite the Surah with pondering and reflection. 

 

May Allah make us of people of reflection of the Quran. Aameen.

 

Allahumma salli ala Muhammad wa ala aalihi wasahbihi wasallaam.

Trials and Patience

Bismillah

Allah will test the believers by various means.

وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَىْءٍ مِّنَ ٱلْخَوْفِ وَٱلْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ ٱلْأَمْوَٰلِ وَٱلْأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَٰتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصَّٰبِرِينَ ‎﴿١٥٥﴾‏

We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, (155) (Quran, Al Baqarah 2:155)

Even, the wife of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, Aisha radhiyallahu anha, had to go through trials as difficult and painful as the slander against her, so her rank is raised up. 

The more Allah loves someone, the more he/she is tested. 

Aisha r.a. was patient and she was truthful in turning to Allah. Allah revealed her innocence in the Quran in Surah An-Noor. This established the high status of Aisha r.a. 

The fruits of patience will always be sweet. Fasabrun jameel (beautiful patience) as Prophet Ya'qub a.s uttered when he lost his beloved son, Yusuf a.s, and years later his family reunited in Egypt with Yusuf a.s. being a powerful minister of Egypt.

If you are patient and you turn to Allah, you will always be vindicated. Allah will help you even if no one will help you, even if your mother or your father don't know what to do to help you. If you are truthful to Allah, Allah will be truthful to you.

Every musibah (calamity) that happen to us, there is some good in it whether we realize it or whether we don't realize it. 

إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ جَآءُو بِٱلْإِفْكِ عُصْبَةٌ مِّنكُمْ ۚ لَا تَحْسَبُوهُ شَرًّا لَّكُم ۖ بَلْ هُوَ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ ...

Indeed, those who came with falsehood are a group among you. Do not think it bad for you; rather it is good for you....

(Quran, An-Noor 24:11)

Everyone goes through trials up and down. Every time of ease is followed by times of difficulty. Every time of difficulty is followed by times of ease. Turn to Allah truthfully and maintain your connection with Him in worship.

‏ فَإِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا ‎﴿٥﴾‏ إِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا ‎﴿٦﴾‏ فَإِذَا فَرَغْتَ فَٱنصَبْ ‎﴿٧﴾‏ وَإِلَىٰ رَبِّكَ فَٱرْغَب ‎﴿٨﴾

For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. (5) Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. (6) So when you have finished [your duties], then stand up [for worship]. (7) And to your Lord direct [your] longing. (8) (Quran, 95:5-8)

Allah knows best.

May Allah grant us patience and save us from the trials and tribulations of this life and the next. Aameen.

Allahumma salli ala Muhammad wa ala aali Muhammad.

Show Gratitude Through Prayers

Bismillah

Being a Muslim is a blessing. Each and every breadth we take is a blessing. Everything we have are blessings from Allah. But Allah says very few of us are grateful.

وَقَلِيلٌ مِّنْ عِبَادِىَ ٱلشَّكُورُ ‎﴿١٣﴾‏

And few of My servants are grateful. (Quran, Saba 34:13)

The best opportunity to show our gratitude to Allah is through prayers five times a day.

May Allah make us of the grateful. Aameen.

Gender And Equality In Islam

Bismillah

In Islam, there is ultimate equality of spirituality, nobility, humanity and earning Allah's reward. There is a potential to enter Paradise whether you are a woman or a man. The criteria is Iman and taqwa, not gender.

And their Lord responded to them, "Never will I allow to be lost the work of [any] worker among you, whether male or female; you are of one another. So those who emigrated or were evicted from their homes or were harmed in My cause or fought or were killed - I will surely remove from them their misdeeds, and I will surely admit them to gardens beneath which rivers flow as reward from Allah, and Allah has with Him the best reward." (Quran, AleImran 3:195)

Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer - We will surely cause him to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward [in the Hereafter] according to the best of what they used to do. (Quran, Naml 16:97) 

Indeed, the Muslim men and Muslim women, the believing men and believing women, the obedient men and obedient women, the truthful men and truthful women, the patient men and patient women, the humble men and humble women, the charitable men and charitable women, the fasting men and fasting women, the men who guard their private parts and the women who do so, and the men who remember Allah often and the women who do so - for them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward. (Quran, Al Ahzab 33:35)

Man and woman are complimentary to each other. There is no competition between man and woman. They are on the same team and have a different role to play. Allah has given men and women tasks that are better suited for their own background and understanding. If you do it properly, you will get rewarded.

And do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others. For men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they have earned. And ask Allah of his bounty. Indeed Allah is ever, of all things, Knowing.  (Quran, An-Nisa 4:32)

Gender roles, generally speaking, have not been made obligatory. There is default but the Shari’ah made them adaptable. In a family, if members negotiate their roles, and as long as the obligatory is done and no haram is fallen into, that is permissible for them. Most of what comes under gender roles are negotiable. Also they can change from time to place. We learned from the Seerah that the women of Madinah were more assertive and the women of Makkah did not do that. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam didn’t take sides here. Culturally, there can be a leeway. And much of what might be permissible is not obligatory. So, learn the Shari’ah and differentiate culture from actual fiqh and allow leeway where possible.

We have to be very careful about entering into competition between the genders.  When you are going to destroy gender and gender roles, the reality is that it will destroy the bedrock of the society. As Muslims, we have to embody the Prophetic ideals of what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman. There are fads in our society that are challenging this. If we don’t conform to the Shari’ah of Allah, who else is going to do this. This is our responsibility, as believers of the Quran and Sunnah, to embody the values of men and women. Stick with the fitrah that Allah created us upon. Be a man or be a woman however Allah created you, and life will be easier and more blessed in this world and the akhirah.

May Allah bless us through the Quran, and make us of those who understand the verses. Aameen.

 

 

Let's Read Surah Kahf Friday Today -- Islam Is A Great Blessing

Bismillah 

Islam is a great blessing for those who understand it. Islam is not there to burden you. But it takes knowledge to realize this. Once you get your two feet standing in the middle of the religion, you will find that this religion is easy and each routine becomes easier and easier and you will do more and more. But you cannot be lazy.  

Whatever the thing that brought you to read Surah Kahf, you are moving in the path towards the Divine. Whether we act upon the Sunnah knowing the benefit or not, we should strive to do what we know. This religion is all about obedience to the Almighty. And through obedience to Him, we enjoy the closeness to our Lord.

It maybe difficult to read more than a few pages at first, or to keep it up every Friday, but you force yourself to do it. The first stage in the path towards Allah is to force yourself and bring yourself to do those actions which you know that Allah wants you to do.

The practical injunctions is a large part of this religion. Religion is meant to lead to a transformation in a human being whereby he is no longer chained to what other people are chained to of lusts, desires, laziness, or what people think. He has a much higher purpose and reflected in this person. He becomes a man of God.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassalaam.

May Allah grant you tawfiq. Aameen.

Blessings of Sickness

Bismillah

Nobody is secure from falling sick. Everyone fall sick occasionally. Some more than the other. Some longer than the other. Some fall sick and got well. Some became terminally ill.

Nobody like to be sick but it is Qadr. Qadr can be bad for us here but it is good for us in the long run because Allah says in the Quran, 

 

وَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكْرَهُوا۟ شَيْـًٔا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ ۖ وَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تُحِبُّوا۟ شَيْـًٔا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَّكُمْ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ ‎﴿٢١٦

 

...But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not. (Quran, Al Baqarah 2:216) 

 

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said,

 

“Amazing is the affair of the believer, verily all of his affair is good and this is not for no one except the believer. If something of good/happiness befalls him he is grateful and that is good for him. If something of harm befalls him he is patient and that is good for him” (Muslim)

It is the fundamental of iman that a believer looks at this world and this life, even if it is difficult, even if it is bitter, it is for his own long term good. Nothing happens except that a believer will see it in his heart that it is for his long term good, whether he sees it or not with his eyes. This goes back to the reality of iman called 'husnul dhan' with Allah, that is having the best thoughts of Allah. A believer always have positive thoughts of Allah. 

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said that the sign of iman is to have husnul dhan of Allah. These positive thoughts are easy to happen when life is good. When there is wealth, good health, it is easy to have positive thoughts but when life becomes difficult, when money is tight, when we lose our loved ones, when we become sick and more difficult, when our loved ones fall sick, that is when our iman is tested. Do you believe in Qadr? It is during the times of difficulty and sickness that iman comes to the forefront.

Sickness is a means to remove our sins and save us from hellfire. Allah tests whom He loves and Allah wants to forgive some people and does not want them to face the hellfire of the akhirah on account of their sins in this dunia. Have this optimism, flip the negatives into positives. Do not curse the sickness.

Jabir reported that Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) visited Umm Sa'ib (or Umm Musaiyyab) and asked her, "What ails you O Umm Sa'ib (or Umm Musaiyyab)? You are shivering." She replied: "It is a fever, may Allah not bless it!" He said to her, "Do not revile fever, for it cleanses out the sins of the sons of Adam in the same way that a furnace removes the dirt of iron." (Muslim)

When a believer falls sick, Allah uses it for two reasons: to cause the believer to reflect and become a better person. We get to reassess our life when we are sick. We undertsand that we are mortal and we reassess our priorities. How thankful we should be to our families, those who are close to us and our friends. It is a charging station. When life is good, business is good, wealth is pouring, our body seems to be happy, but our soul is not happy. With sickness we have the opportunity to make amends before the end comes.

When we are sick, it is when we truly appreciate the blessing of health. Most people are deceived, bankrupt, when they have this blessing and the blessing of free time. You don't appreciate health until you dont' have it. You don't appreciate your free time until you are not well, when you will be busy with doctors, tests, searching for cures. When we wake up without having headaches, joint aches or fever, we don't appreciate it. It is after that is gone, that is when we truly apreciate for not having it. Take that appreication and reasses your life and thank Allah.

Sickness should make the heart more tender and soul more soft. That should lead us to genuine charity. Go visit the orphan and feed the hungry. Go visit the sick when you are healthy and comfort them for it is your opportunity to be forgiven of your sins.

Allah desires for us a high place in Paradise but we don't have the proper good deeds or actions to go up. So Allah tests his chosen with sickness. Allah tests him with his body, money, children until he is raised. Because of his sabr (patience), Allah raises him until he reach it.

We cannot learn patience by reading a book or listening to a khutabh. We can only learn patience on the fields of patience. If you want to be of the people of sabr, sabr is earned on the battlefield of sabr. 

 وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَىْءٍ مِّنَ ٱلْخَوْفِ وَٱلْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ ٱلْأَمْوَٰلِ وَٱلْأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَٰتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصَّٰبِرِينَ ‎﴿١٥٥

And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, (Quran, Al Baqarah 2:155)

قُلْ يَٰعِبَادِ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱتَّقُوا۟ رَبَّكُمْ ۚ لِلَّذِينَ أَحْسَنُوا۟ فِى هَٰذِهِ ٱلدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةٌ ۗ وَأَرْضُ ٱللَّهِ وَٰسِعَةٌ ۗ إِنَّمَا يُوَفَّى ٱلصَّٰبِرُونَ أَجْرَهُم بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ ‎﴿١٠﴾‏

Say, "O My servants who have believed, fear your Lord. For those who do good in this world is good, and the earth of Allah is spacious. Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account." (Quran, Az-Zumar 29:10)

The only way to earn the badges of sabr is to be tested. So next time if we fall sick, in shaallah we are earning the badge of sabr.

Sickness open the doors for du'a and charity. When you make du'a from the depths of your heart, you rediscover the reality of iman. In those times of difficulty our iman soars high. 

Does this mean we embrace sickness. No. Dont make du'a to be tested in this dunia. Ask Allah to save you from sickness. We do not ask to fall sick but when it happens this is Allah's Qadr. Ask Allah to protect you from calalmities. Ask Allah for 'afiyah (well being). There is nothing is better for you than afiya. If a calamity happens take it with patience, with iman, husnul dhan with Allah. Make du'a to lift the calamity.

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said do not desire to die for the life of the belieber is always good for him. One exception if you find yourself with no other alternative than you can make this du'a -- O Allah grant me long life if life is good for me and allow me death if death is better for me. 

Whoever amongst you wakes up in the morning, save in his house, no sickness, and have a day's food, this person is as if all the blessings have been gathered and given to him. Most of us are in this situation and we should be thankful for this blessing. Alhamdulillahi Rabbil 'Alamin.

Allahumma salli ala Muhammad wa ala aalihi wasahbihi wassalaam.