Friday, May 28, 2010

Our Most Vital Need

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

The most vital and essential need of us in this life is guidance. Guidance only comes from Allah.

لِّلَّهِ ٱلْمَشْرِقُ وَٱلْمَغْرِبُ ۚ يَهْدِى مَن يَشَآءُ إِلَىٰ صِرَٰطٍۢ مُّسْتَقِيمٍۢ

...."To God belong the East and the West; He guides whomsoever He will to a straight path.' Qur'an Al-Baqarah 2:142

If Allah doesn't guide us, where will we wind up? So, ask Allah for guidance much. Allah loves to be asked and dislikes not to be asked. And the next time you perform your prayers and get to this asking, truly mean it, and not let your mind wanders off to other than the One from Whom you are asking.

ٱهْدِنَا ٱلصِّرَٰطَ ٱلْمُسْتَقِيم
صِرَٰطَ ٱلَّذِينَ أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ غَيْرِ ٱلْمَغْضُوبِ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا ٱلضَّآلِّينَ

"Guide us in the straight path, the path of those whom Thou hast blessed, not of those against whom Thou art wrathful, nor of those who are astray." Qur'an Al-Fatiha 6-7

May Allah guide us all. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Heart of Islam

بسم الله الرخمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends,

I pray that you are well.

Allah Almighty have chosen Islam as our way of life. Allah Almighty says,
لْيَوْمَ أَكْمَلْتُ لَكُمْ دِينَكُمْ وَأَتْمَمْتُ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعْمَتِى وَرَضِيتُ لَكُمُ ٱلْإِسْلَـٰمَ دِينًا ۚ

...This day, those who disbelieved have given up all hope of your religion; so fear them not, but fear Me. This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My Favor upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion...
[Qur'an Al-Ma'ida 5:3]

Obedience is the heart of our religion, Islam. It is the key to the highest ranks we can dream of. "And whoso obeys Allah and the Messenger, Allah bless him and grant him peace, then they will be in the company of those on whom Allah has bestowed His Grace, of the Prophets, the Siddiqun (those followers of the Prophets who were first and foremost to believe in them), the martyrs, and the righteous. And how excellent these companions are!" Qur'an An-Nisaa 4:69

On the converse, disobedience is the way to the lowest level we can imagine. "(Mine is) but conveyance (of the truth) from Allah and His Messages, and whosoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, then verily, for him is the Fire of Hell, he shall dwell therein forever." Qur'an Al-Jinn 72:23

The act of obeying Allah and His Messenger, Allah bless him and grant him peace, is the most important act for us to be concerned about in our lives. We cannot do without obeying Allah. The substance what we need to be obeying in order to reach the high level of Paradise and save us from the pits of Hell is in the Qur'an and the Sunnah. Holding fast to the Qur'an and the Sunnah, following and obeying it is the way out of misguidance. In every instance of our lives, we want to know what is it that we should be doing and should not be doing. Every act of ours there is a ruling from Allah and we need to know this ruling and apply it so we be of those who obey and not of those who disobey.

Ali, Allah be pleased with him, was concerned about obeying Allah, and asked the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, "If a matter befalls us concerning which there is no command nor prohibition what should we do?"

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, did not say do what you want, but said, "Consult your scholars and worshipers."

So, if you don't know what Allah wants you to do, ask the scholars. The whole relationship we have with Allah is that of slavehood. We must ask about what we don't know what the Master wants. We can't assume that "I am a good person so I am going to make it to Paradise." You might make it to Paradise, out of Allah's mercy, but this is not guaranteed. This is not the process. And we cannot just read the Qur'an and the Sunnah and think we know what Allah wants us to do. Most of us will look at a big wonderful tree as a big trunk, branches and leaves and we might marvel at the beauty of the tree, but a very skilled carpenter will see a chair, an ornate bookshelf, an 18th century dining table, because he is trained and has the tools and know how. So we want to learn our religion from scholars to avoid misguidance and destruction.

May Allah guide us and grants us Tawfiq. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam

Watch Your Steps

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

The very steps you take to go about your daily lives, think of where those steps are going to land you in the next life. Perhaps these thoughts will pull you away from taking those steps that will take you to Hellfire and will rush to take those steps that will take you to Paradise, by Allah's Mercy. Indeed, the life Hereafter is no joke! It is either bliss or torment. The pain and sorrow in this life is nothing compared to the severity of the torment of the grave, Day of resurrection and Hell. No happiness in this life is comparable to the bliss in the Afterlife. The Qur'an describes these future events to help us make the right choices. That's why it is good to read the Qur'an everyday, so we are reminded all the time. If you recite and close to the Qur'an, it will be your companion in the next life, where all your friends and relatives won't be there to help you--they have their own huge problems to deal with at that time!

Sometimes, we behave as if there is no tomorrow--indulging ourselves with the world, fighting, arguing, stepping on people's toes, backbiting, gossiping, slandering, being selfish, cheating, being lazy, wasting our time, procrastinating, and so on. There is tomorrow---and tomorrow is Paradise or Hell. Allah gives us the opportunity to choose our final abode. If we choose Paradise then we must change our ways that go against the teachings of Islam and constantly increasing and improving our worship, even if you are praying, fasting, giving charity and so on, because there is always a better prayer, a better fasting, a better charity. By this sincere effort that we hope to gain the mercy of Allah so that He will put us into Paradise and grant us His Noble Countenance, and not put us into Hell. Allah is all-Thankful. The only way you can improve your worship is through having proper Islamic knowledge and du'a.

Narrated Ibn `Umar, Allah be pleased with him: The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "When the people of Paradise have entered Paradise and the people of the Fire have entered the Fire, death will be brought and will be placed between the Fire and Paradise, and then it will be slaughtered, and a call will be made (that), 'O people of Paradise, no more death! O people of the Fire, no more death! ' So the people of Paradise will have happiness added to their previous happiness, and the people of the Fire will have sorrow added to their previous sorrow." (Bukhari)

Narrated Abu Sa`id Al−Khudri, Allah be pleased with him: The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Allah will say to the people of Paradise, 'O the people of Paradise!' They will say, 'Labbaik, O our Lord, and Sa`daik!' Allah will say, 'Are you pleased?" They will say, 'Why should we not be pleased since You have given us what You have not given to anyone of Your creation?' Allah will say, 'I will give you something better than that.' They will reply, 'O our Lord! And what is better than that?' Allah will say, 'I will bestow My pleasure and contentment upon you so that I will never be angry with you after forever.' " (Bukhari)

"(Some) faces on that day shall be bright, looking to their Lord. And (other) faces on that day shall be gloomy, knowing that there will be made to befall them some great calamity." Al-Qiyaamah 75:22-25

May Allah resurrect us with His beloved, Allah bless him and grant him peace, and enter us into Paradise with him. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.

Wassalaam

Monday, May 24, 2010

Show your gratitude

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

Ingratitude is a state that grips all men except a few who Allah protects and guides to the reality of gratitude. Ingratitude is of varying degrees--associating partners with Allah, acts of disobedience and not using one's blessings for what they are meant to be used is deep ingratitude. We cannot hide this ingratitude from Allah and indeed from our own conscience. Allah knows our intense love for wealth and things of this life and it being the reason for our disobedience.


إِنَّ ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ لِرَبِّهِۦ لَكَنُودٌ۬ (٦) وَإِنَّهُ ۥ عَلَىٰ ذَٲلِكَ لَشَہِيدٌ۬ (٧) وَإِنَّهُ ۥ لِحُبِّ ٱلۡخَيۡرِ لَشَدِيدٌ (٨) ۞ أَفَلَا يَعۡلَمُ إِذَا بُعۡثِرَ مَا فِى ٱلۡقُبُورِ (٩) وَحُصِّلَ مَا فِى ٱلصُّدُورِ (١٠) إِنَّ رَبَّہُم بِہِمۡ يَوۡمَٮِٕذٍ۬ لَّخَبِيرُۢ (١١)

"Surely, man is ungrateful to his Lord and surely he is a witness against that! Surely he is passionate in his love for good things. Knows he not that when that which is in the tombs is over-thrown, and that which is in the breasts is brought out -- surely on that day their Lord shall be aware of them!" Qur'an Al-Adiyat 100:6-11

If you find it difficult to fulfill an act of worship, or obey Allah's command, remember the deep gratitude that you owe to your Lord.

A powerful cure to break out of ingratitude is to remember death and the judgment that follows it. In the end we will be alone in our graves--nothing else matters except our own good deeds. So till your land, sow good seeds and nurture them so you can reap a good harvest later inshaAllah.


ٱلَّذِينَ تَتَوَفَّٮٰهُمُ ٱلۡمَلَـٰٓٮِٕكَةُ ظَالِمِىٓ أَنفُسِہِمۡ‌ۖ فَأَلۡقَوُاْ ٱلسَّلَمَ مَا ڪُنَّا نَعۡمَلُ مِن سُوٓءِۭ‌ۚ بَلَىٰٓ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ عَلِيمُۢ بِمَا كُنتُمۡ تَعۡمَلُونَ (٢٨) فَٱدۡخُلُوٓاْ أَبۡوَٲبَ جَهَنَّمَ خَـٰلِدِينَ فِيہَا‌ۖ فَلَبِئۡسَ مَثۡوَى ٱلۡمُتَكَبِّرِينَ (٢٩

...Those whose lives the angels take while they are doing wrong to themselves" Then, they will make (false) submission (saying): "We used not to do any evil." (The angels will reply): "Yes! Truly, Allah is All-Knower of what you used to do. So enter the gates of Hell, to abide therein, and indeed, what an evil abode will be for the arrogant." Qur'an An-Nahl 16:28-29

ٱلَّذِينَ تَتَوَفَّٮٰهُمُ ٱلۡمَلَـٰٓٮِٕكَةُ طَيِّبِينَ‌ۙ يَقُولُونَ سَلَـٰمٌ عَلَيۡكُمُ ٱدۡخُلُواْ ٱلۡجَنَّةَ بِمَا كُنتُمۡ تَعۡمَلُونَ (٣٢

"...Those whose lives the angels take while they are in a pious state, saying, 'Peace be on you! Enter Paradise for that you were doing.'" Qur'an An-Nahl 16:32

It is hard to be arrogant and proud if religious duties are performed out of true sense of neediness and gratitude.

May Allah protect us from the torment of the grave and the punishment of the Hellfire and enter us into Firdaus. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Change and Transformation

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well. InshaAllah.

We have many problems in the Muslim communities--serious marital problems, domestic violence, nasty divorces, children eloping, financial problems, health problems, job crisis, Muslim identity crisis, etc. These problems or similar ones have existed for a long time. So, why don't things change?

People are afraid of change. We don't like change, so we keep things that are familiar. But change can be good. Slavery in America was abolished, and many people resented the change, but it was a good move. Change takes time. Change isn't easy, and it is probably why people don't like it. We like easy things. But change supposed to be difficult. If it wasn't difficult, everyone would do it. The difficult is what makes change great!

Everything will change eventually. It always does, even if things aren't changing. Our children change--just yesterday, it seems, they were this bundle of joy from the hospital, and now they are teaching you how to drive! We, eventually will turn back into dust in our graves. That's the way life goes. But believers know they will one day be brought before Allah to be judged about everything they did in this life and every single action will be displayed to them.

"Upon that Day men shall issue in scatterings to see their works. And whoso has done an atom's weight of good shall see it, and whoso has done an atom's weight of evil shall see it." Qur'an Al-Zalzala/The Earthquake 99:6-8

So we have to make the choice--to change or not to change. If things aren't working for you, change. What change and how do you make the change? The answer is simple, we all know it--Following the religion. We need to put the religion into action. Remember the famous Hadith Jibril which defines the three aspects of our religion--Islam, Iman and Ihsan?

On the authority of 'Umar, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said "While we were one day sitting with the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, there appeared before us a man dressed in extremely white clothes and with very black hair. No traces of journeying were visible on him, and none of us knew him.

He sat down close by the Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, rested his knee against his thighs, and said, O Muhammad! Inform me about Islam." Said the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, "Islam is that you should testify that there is no deity save Allah and that Muhammad is His Messenger, that you should establish salah (ritual prayer), pay the zakat, fast during Ramadan, and perform Hajj (pilgrimage) to the House (the Ka'bah at Makkah), if you can find a way to it (or find the means for making the journey to it)." Said he (the man), "You have spoken truly."

We were astonished at his thus questioning him and telling him that he was right, but he went on to say, "Inform me about Iman." He (the Messenger of Allah) answered, "It is that you believe in Allah and His angels and His Books and His Messengers and in the Last Day, and in destiny, both in its good and in its evil aspects." He said, "You have spoken truly.

Then he (the man) said, "Inform me about Ihsan." He (the Messenger of Allah) answered, " It is that you should serve Allah as though you could see Him, for though you cannot see Him yet He sees you." He said, "Inform me about the Hour." He (the Messenger of Allah) said, "About that the one questioned knows no more than the questioner." So he said, "Well, inform me about the signs thereof (i.e. of its coming)." Said he, "They are that the slave-girl will give birth to her mistress, that you will see the barefooted ones, the naked, the destitute, the herdsmen of the sheep (competing with each other) in raising lofty buildings."

Thereupon the man went off. I waited a while, and then he (the Messenger of Allah) said, "O 'Umar, do you know who that questioner was?" I replied, "Allah and His Messenger know better." He said, "That was Jibril. He came to teach you your religion.""

The three aspects of our religion correspond to the three aspects of our humanity: Islam (Body--external compliance of what Allah tells us to do); Iman (Mind--believe in the unseen that the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, has informed us of); Ihsan (Soul--to worship Allah as though you see Him)

Religion transforms us to where we will no longer chained to the world, meaning what other people in the world are looking for, in money, in fame, etc, no other people experience except the ones who are transformed. These are people who are following the footsteps of the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace. Religion brought us things to do--wudu', prayer, fasting, zakat, charity, smiling, pick up garbage, proper marriage and divorce, manners of eating, drinking, sleeping, treatment of people, and everything the Creator wants us to do. Through performing these actions, there is transformation in the heart

"Whosoever shows enmity to someone devoted to Me, I shall be at war with him. My servant draws not near to Me with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him, and My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him. When I love him I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him, and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him it. I do not hesitate about anything as much as I hesitate about [seizing] the soul of My faithful servant: he hates death and I hate hurting him." (Bukhari.)

Someone who fits this description is not a normal person. He might have financial poverty, he might have health issues, he might have serious marital problems, he might have many other problems, but he is also content because he knows whatever happen to him is from Allah. In order to get to this point, you have to change--you have to transform yourself. The first step to transformation is in practicing Islam.

“If Allah has loved a servant [of His] He calls Jibril (on whom be peace) and says: I love So-and-so, therefore love him. He (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: So Jibril loves him. Then he (Jibril) calls out in heaven, saying: Allah loves So-and-so, therefore love him. And the inhabitants of heaven love him. He (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: Then acceptance is established for him on earth. And if Allah has abhorred a servant [of His], He calls Jibril and says: I abhor So-and-so, therefore abhor him. So Jibril abhors him. Then Jibril calls out to the inhabitants of heaven: Allah abhors So-and-so, therefore abhor him. He (the Prophet peace be upon him) said: So they abhor him, and abhorrence is established for him on earth. (Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhi).

Alhamdulillah we had a very successful Friday night at our monthly khatam Qur'an and launching of project memorization of Qur'an with over 100 people crowding our small masjid, MashaAllah. Alhamdulillah, there were 15 eager youths who attended the first session the following day. For them to want to spend their weekends in the masjid learning and memorizing the Qur'an (and 3 hours every evening thereafter), in an environment where most young people would rather chat with their friends, watch movies, watch TV or play computer games, or sleep, make these youths very special indeed MashaAllah--they are doing things that many find it difficult--change. May Allah give them tawfiq and make these youths memorizers of Qur'an and leaders of the community and the ummah. Ameen. And to their parents, may Allah reward them well and make it easy for them to raise the future hufadh inshaAllah. Please make du'a for all of them. Jazakallahu khairan.

May Allah bless you and your family. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Best Gift for Your Parents and Yourself

بسم الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

"And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years — give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination." Qur'an Luqman 31:14

We can never repay our parents in this life for their love and sacrifices but as for their eternal life we are holding the treasure box. All you have to do is to unlock it and give it to them. So why wait a minute longer--open it! It does not cost you anything and it will also raise you higher in ranks in this life as well as the next. InshaAllah.

"Whoever recites the Qur'an and acts according to what it contains, Allah will adorn his parents with a crown on the Day of Judgment, its radiance more beautiful that the radiance of the sun in the abode of this world. So what do you presume the reward will be for the one who acts according to it?" (Abu Dawud)

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The Qur’an will come on the Day of Resurrection and will say, ‘O Lord, adorn him.’ So he will be given a crown of honor to wear. Then it will say, ‘O Lord, give him more.’ So he will be given a garment of honor.’ Then it will say, ‘O Lord, be pleased with him.’ So Allah will be pleased with him. Then it will be said to him, ‘Recite and advance in status, and for each verse you will gain one more hasanah (reward for good deed).” (Tirmidhi)

To the person with the Qur'an, it is said, "Recite and ascend! Recite measuredly just as you used to recite in the world! Your station will be at the last verse you recite." (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Nasa'i

There is no better gift for your parents and yourself than this. Recite the Qur'an everyday and start memorizing the words of Allah and go with it. Teach and encourage your children to do the same.

May Allah grant you and your children tawfiq. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.

Wassalaam

Friday, May 21, 2010

Special Events at Masjid Al-Ittehad today Friday 5/21/10

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamua laykum

EVENTS: MAY 2010 KHATAM QUR'AN and LAUNCHING PROJECT QUR'AN MEMORIZATION FOR YOUTH

WHERE: Masjid Al-Ittehad, 925 S Anza Ave, Vista, California

WHEN: Today Friday 5/21/2010 at 5:00pm

Agenda

5:00 pm REGISTRATION for Qur'an Memorization Program
(for more info: http://journey2allah.blogspot.com/2010/05/invitation-to-memorize-quran.html)

5:30 pm ORIENTATION and SLIDE PRESENTATION for Qur'an Memorization Program

6:45 pm BEGIN GROUP RECITATION OF JUZ AMMA (chapter 30 of the Qur'an)

8:10 pm BREAK FOR MAGHRIB ADHAN and PRAYER

8:30 pm KHATAM DU'A

9:10 pm 'ISHA ADHAN and PRAYER followed by DINNER (catered and potluck)


Please bring your families and share the blessings of the night inshaAllah. Jazakallahu khairan.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Friends of Allah Most High

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

أَلَآ إِنَّ أَوْلِيَآءَ ٱللَّهِ لَا خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ

ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَكَانُوا۟ يَتَّقُونَ

لَهُمُ ٱلْبُشْرَىٰ فِى ٱلْحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنْيَا وَفِى ٱلْءَاخِرَةِ ۚ لَا تَبْدِيلَ لِكَلِمَٰتِ ٱللَّهِ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ هُوَ ٱلْفَوْزُ ٱلْعَظِيمُ

"Surely God's friends -- no fear shall be on them, neither shall they sorrow. Those who believe, and are Godfearing -- for them is good tidings in the present life and in the world to come. There is no changing the words of God; that is the mighty triumph." Qur'an Yunus 10:62-64

Neither fear nor sorrow shall be upon the friends of Allah. Allah is the One who protects His friends from wrath.

Those who believe (those with iman) have certitude in revelation of Allah. He practices it and avoids the forbidden. He finds his hands pull back from that which the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, would be disgusted by. He have complete conviction that Allah does not reveal the laws for His benefit but entirely for our benefit. Taqwa or Godfearingness entails to avoiding what is disadvantageous to one. The more the taqwa the more the iman, the more the iman the more the taqwa.

When you do something wrong and you know it is wrong, particularly when you have to take succesive steps that lead up to doing the wrong, your iman decreases. The one who hangs around people with no iman, pretty soon one will find one's taqwa diminishes and pretty soon this is acceptable and so one is let down to less than what one was before.

We have decisions to make to gain iman and taqwa so that Allah may show favor to us. Should I hang around with so and so? What should I do? How do I organize my time? etc.

May Allah make us be one of those who He favors. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan

And Allah knows best.

Wassalaam

Is your marriage good enough worth a good go?

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In The Name Of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

This is interesting. Hope it is of benefit. InshaAllah.

What is a good-enough marriage? Or Tina Tessina, Ph.D., author of "The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After 40," would have me ask: "Can I make my marriage good enough?" After interviewing several experts*, I've uncovered ten questions you can ask yourself to help clarify whether or not your relationship, albeit imperfect, is worth a good go:

1. Are you exaggerating the negatives? For the next two months mark the good and bad days on your calendar to get a reality check.

2. Have you already left the marriage by emotionally withdrawing? Or by giving up all attempts to make the relationship better? If so, can you find a way to reengage?

3. Do you get so angry that you hit each other or throw things at least once a month? If the answer is yes, are you hanging on to a terrible relationship because you're afraid of being alone? Or because you're convinced it's the best you can do?

4. If you're frustrated because your husband won't change (you'd like him to be more forceful or manly, for example), is it really necessary that he does? Is there anything in your family history that may be driving your need to transform him? (Your father never stood up for you when you needed him.)

5. Have you been teaching your husband the wrong lessons by not challenging his hurtful behavior? (You don't say anything when he criticizes you in public. He never washes the dishes, so you just do them, resentfully.)

6. Do you have fun together? Even when things are tough, do you make jokes about it? (A good sign.) If not, can you make time in your marriage for more play?

7. Are there conflicts that you've avoided in the relationship? What do you fear would happen if you confronted them?

8. Do you simply need more time alone? A weekend on your own every so often to make the heart grow fonder?

9. Has something occurred-- a death, a big birthday, a job loss -- that's throwing off your relationship and needs to be addressed?

10. Have you done everything you possibly can to make this marriage work? Are you certain he has heard your complaints? Have you tried a marriage-education class or couples therapy? If he won't go to counseling, have you gone yourself to see how you might save the relationship?

While pondering these questions, I remembered -- from somewhere deep -- many of the delightful aspects of my marriage. (Did I mention that he surprises me with candlelit lavender baths and singing Chanukah mugs?) And we do talk and make up well. For me the most clarity has come from thinking of marriage not as a noun, or a state of being, but as a verb, as in what "I do" (you say those two words for a reason), and therefore something I can do better.

So rather than hang my marriage on the clearance rack, as I fear I've done, I vow to try to understand -- even appreciate -- his faults, er, growth opportunities. You know, I always wanted a red apartment, and just think: pizza-proof. ---Oprah

May Allah bless your family. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.

Wasalaam

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Hijab and covering nakedness properly

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

I don't know of any scholars who disagreed that the woman cannot show more than the face and hands to non-mahram men (men who you can potentially marry).

The vast majority of Muslim scholars and jurists, past and present, have determined the minimum requirements for Muslim women's dress. Their clothing must cover the entire body, with the exception of the face and the hands, and the attire should not be form fitting, sheer or so eye-catching as to attract undue attention or reveal the shape of the body.

In one tradition, the Prophet Muhammad, Allah bless him and grant him peace, is quoted as saying: "...When the woman reaches the age of puberty, no part of her body should be seen but this --- and he pointed to his face and hands."

So why aren't many Muslim women putting on hijabs? If they have their heads covered, their hair would be showing, or their necks would be showing, or part of their arms would be showing, or their shape would be showing, or their ankles would be showing. You see this all the time, not only outside but also during prayers. And sometimes you see the same people doing this for years as if they don't know! Some cover very nicely during prayer but not outside prayers. You would think logically speaking it should be equally or more important to cover outside because of the harmful human elements outside.

You cannot not cover and you cannot not put your hijab properly. You cannot be cavalier about this issue of covering your nakedness. You cannot do that when you know you must. This action is tantamount to belittling the majesty of Allah. This hijab is not cultural my dear friends. It is the law of Allah, your Lord, your Creator, and part of being a Muslim woman is to wear your hijab around men other than your husband and non-marriageable kin. It is for your own good and for the good of others and the society, you/your children/your husbands being a member of this society. We all don't want problems--and problems can only be avoided by obeying Allah's rules.

You may not understand why Allah makes such rule for women and it maybe inconvenient for you to put on the hijab, but that cannot be the excuse to not cover your nakedness. He is the Master--you do as told and He knows what is good for you. If you say you believe in Allah, you must obey this command, at least make a sincere intention to put on the hijab and put a good faith effort to do this and keep asking Him to help you obey this command. Allah will help you if your intention is to please Him, inshaAllah. If you are not convinced that this is Allah's command, then you are obligated to seek this knowledge. You cannot play ignorant and do the same thing for the rest of your lives.

This is not something you can wait till you are ready--when you start working at home, when you quit your job, when you are older, when you go to high school, when you finish high school, when you get married, when you have children, etc. You must obey this command now. Just like you must obey any governmental laws which are designed to protect and provide safety to her citizens now, you must put on your proper hijab now. Ignorance is no excuse. Imagine a few citizens in your locality habitually disobeyed the traffic laws and ran a red light (ignorance or deliberate), there will be accidents left and right. There will be chaos on the roads. Even if some of us follow the traffic laws, all of us are not safe on the roads at all if this happens. You won't be able to drive anywhere.

So, don't think it is your private business not to put on your hijabs. You put on your hijabs to protect our families and allow the society to function properly and so ultimately it is for your own good. We don't want to be the cause of fitna/tribulation for men and our sons, adultery or marital discord in our marriages and in others.

زُيِّنَ لِلنَّاسِ حُبُّ ٱلشَّهَوَٰتِ مِنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ وَٱلْبَنِينَ وَٱلْقَنَٰطِيرِ ٱلْمُقَنطَرَةِ مِنَ ٱلذَّهَبِ وَٱلْفِضَّةِ وَٱلْخَيْلِ ٱلْمُسَوَّمَةِ وَٱلْأَنْعَٰمِ وَٱلْحَرْثِ ۗ ذَٰلِكَ مَتَٰعُ ٱلْحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنْيَا ۖ وَٱللَّهُ عِندَهُۥ حُسْنُ ٱلْمَـَٔابِ

"Decked out fair to men is the love of lusts -- women, children, heaped-up heaps of gold and silver, horses of mark, cattle and tillage. That is the enjoyment of the present life; but God -- with Him is the fairest resort." Qur'an AleImran 3:14

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "I have not left a tribulation after me, more harmful to men than women."

We, women, should be cognizant about this. Men love women. You can ask any sound man, if he can have more than one wife, he would say he would, if he is honest about it. But you can ask any sound woman, her heart is only for one man. She won't look at other men once her heart is attached to a man. There is nothing wrong for a man to love women, within the limits of Islam, because Allah created them this way and there are great wisdoms behind this creation which is a topic for another time, inshaAllah.

Allah command that women behave with dignity and decorum befitting a secure, self-respecting and self-aware human being rather than an insecure female who felt that her survival depends on her ability to attract or cajole those men who were interested not in her personality but only in her sexuality. One of the verses in the Qur'an protects a woman's fundamental rights.

يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّبِىُّ قُل لِّأَزْوَٰجِكَ وَبَنَاتِكَ وَنِسَآءِ ٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يُدْنِينَ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِن جَلَٰبِيبِهِنَّ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰٓ أَن يُعْرَفْنَ فَلَا يُؤْذَيْنَ ۗ وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ غَفُورًۭا رَّحِيمًۭا

"O Prophet, say to thy wives and daughters and the believing women, that they draw their veils close to them; so it is likelier they will be known, and not hurt. God is All-forgiving, All-compassionate." Qur'an Al-Ahzab 33:59

Certainly, women is a fitnah for men, not because women are bad but because men are created to have this physical attraction for women. Women then have a duty to help men from transgressing Allah's commands, and first and foremost is by putting on proper hijabs when you are around men. Do not allow your provocative appearance and look to be seen by any man except your husbands.

If you have been praying for years, you have no excuse not to cover yourselves or not to cover yourselves properly. Believe me, once you put it on with sincere intention to obey Allah's commands, it isn't so bad at all. In fact many sisters look much better with their hijab then without. I know many women who are fully covered even around their sons, male family members and unrelated Muslim women--i.e. they make it a default to cover and only uncover if necessary. As well, we should be more shy before Allah, Most High.

Human beings must distinguish themselves from animals by decent and disciplined behavior. But how many of us take this life with the seriousness it deserves? We originated from one father and one mother and belong to one big family, but unfortunately many of us live without any sense of collective responsibility. We are one community and the action of one person will not only reflect on other individuals but also the whole community.

Allah lays down the principle of the law of modesty. Modesty is not just for women but also for men.

قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا۟ مِنْ أَبْصَٰرِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا۟ فُرُوجَهُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَزْكَىٰ لَهُمْ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ خَبِيرٌۢ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ

وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَٰتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَٰرِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا ۖ وَلْيَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلَىٰ جُيُوبِهِنَّ ۖ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا لِبُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ ءَابَآئِهِنَّ أَوْ ءَابَآءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَآئِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَآءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ إِخْوَٰنِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِىٓ إِخْوَٰنِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِىٓ أَخَوَٰتِهِنَّ أَوْ نِسَآئِهِنَّ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَٰنُهُنَّ أَوِ ٱلتَّٰبِعِينَ غَيْرِ أُو۟لِى ٱلْإِرْبَةِ مِنَ ٱلرِّجَالِ أَوِ ٱلطِّفْلِ ٱلَّذِينَ لَمْ يَظْهَرُوا۟ عَلَىٰ عَوْرَٰتِ ٱلنِّسَآءِ ۖ وَلَا يَضْرِبْنَ بِأَرْجُلِهِنَّ لِيُعْلَمَ مَا يُخْفِينَ مِن زِينَتِهِنَّ ۚ وَتُوبُوٓا۟ إِلَى ٱللَّهِ جَمِيعًا أَيُّهَ ٱلْمُؤْمِنُونَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

"Say to the believing men, that they cast down their eyes and guard their private parts; that is purer for them. God is aware of the things they work. And say to the believing women, that they cast down their eyes' and guard their private parts, and reveal not their adornment save such as is outward; and let them cast their veils over their bosoms, and not reveal their adornment save to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husbands' fathers, or their sons, or their husbands' sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or what their right hands own, or such men as attend them, not having sexual desire, or children who have not yet attained knowledge of women's private parts; nor let them strike their feet, so that their hidden ornament may be known. And turn all together to God, O you believers; haply so you will prosper." Qur'an An-Nur 24:30-31


Allah Most High states in the Qur'an:

وَمَا خَلَقْنَا ٱلسَّمَآءَ وَٱلْأَرْضَ وَمَا بَيْنَهُمَا لَٰعِبِينَ

لَوْ أَرَدْنَآ أَن نَّتَّخِذَ لَهْوًۭا لَّٱتَّخَذْنَٰهُ مِن لَّدُنَّآ إِن كُنَّا فَٰعِلِينَ

"We created not the heaven and the earth, and whatsoever between them is, as playing; had We desired to take to Us a diversion We would have taken it to Us from Ourselves, had We done aught." Qur'an Al-Anbiya' 21:16-17

The above verse is sufficient to emphasize the seriousness with which Allah created this world and everything that exists therein, including us human beings. Allah created us for a specific and important purpose and it is the duty of every Muslim to lead a disciplined life, realizing the seriousness of this purpose.

May Allah guide us and give us tawfiq. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.

Wassalaam

Monday, May 17, 2010

What is the Problem?

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

The Shari'ah accords the innate nature of men and women. Men are chivalrous and women are dutiful. But if the men are tyrannical and the women are bitter and rebellious, then it is no wonder we are facing so many problems in our families and communities. So you need to digest this and adjust your positions before destruction come to your families and to you.

As a community we need to help each other--look out for each other, look for those who need help--and help them. Don't think that this is not your problem because your brother's and your sister's problem is your problem. If it is not in your backyard, don't think you are safe. Who is going to help you when one day you are in their shoes? The rich should be generous and don't think you are going to be able to hold on to that blessing of Allah for long if you are stingy and selfish. If there are projects for families in your community, support them. If there is none, create them. We are all not immune to trials from Allah. If we don't perform our duties to Allah, if we don't give the rights of Allah its proper due, we are not going to be safe in this life and the next life.

"It is He who has appointed you viceroys in the earth, and has raised some of you in rank above others, that He may try you in what He has given you. Surely thy Lord is swift in retribution; and surely He is All-forgiving, All-compassionate." Qur'an al-An'am 6:165

May Allah guide us. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.

Wassalaam

The Best Supplication (Du'a)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends,

I pray that you are well.

When you lose something that your life or your happiness depended on--wealth, job, status, friends, relatives, husband/wife, children--what will happen to you? You lost your job, no job interviews, and now all your savings are gone, the creditors have not stopped calling asking you for payment. Your friends who you hang out with a lot don't even answer your emails or return your calls. Now your spouse left you and took all your children. What will you do? Some people, they will jump off the cliff, some people they will go into a deep depression, some people they will become angry, and some people regress. InshaAllah, all of us will remember the All-Merciful Lord and turn to Him in supplication.

This time when you turn to your Lord, the experience is not going to be like the supplication that you normally did. This du'a is when you feel a sense of intense need. Why? Because all of the other doors have been closed in your face. You have no other recourse besides Allah, Most Compassionate, All Generous. You will feel an utter need, a sense of worthlessness. You will turn to Allah and feel in your heart that only Allah has the answer to your problems. This du'a is the essence of worship.

Worship is the expression of one's slavehood. For most of us, this kind of supplication only appears from the heart in times of extreme need. But for some, this type of supplication is always like that. They don't need to be fired from their jobs, to be run out of money, to be abandoned by their friends, to lose their loved ones, in order to feel this way. If everything is in their hands, this is how they make du'a when they turn to Allah.

What is it that keep most of us from making this kind of du'a? It is our attachment to the object of the supplication. For most of us, the only reason we make du'a is in order to be given what we want. We ask Allah to give us a job, to give us wealth, to make us pass the exam, to give us a big house, to give us a beautiful wife or a rich husband, to give us many children or a son and all those endless things we ask Allah to give us. While this asking is not wrong because we turn to Allah for everything, we should work on making the du'a with our hearts attached to Him instead of our hearts attached to these things. You go to Him because you need Him, not because you need things from Him.

When we make du'a and received a response, the response is pure generosity of Allah. So, inwardly you should have gratitude and you should feel no sense of importance. Before you came into existence and before you did anything, there was nothing but Allah's pure largess and mighty bestowals. Any blessing that you have is purely from Allah.

So when you make du'a and you ask Him to fulfill your needs, you are not reminding of anything that He was heedless of. Don't imagine that because of your du'a He is giving you what you asked for. Allah knows everything and He did not learn about what you want from you. If you imagine that, your du'a will be a veil from Allah.

إِنَّ رَبَّكَ وَٰسِعُ ٱلْمَغْفِرَةِ ۚ هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِكُمْ إِذْ أَنشَأَكُم مِّنَ ٱلْأَرْضِ وَإِذْ أَنتُمْ أَجِنَّةٌۭ فِى بُطُونِ أُمَّهَٰتِكُمْ ۖ فَلَا تُزَكُّوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ ۖ هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِمَنِ ٱتَّقَىٰٓ

"Very well He knows you, when He produced you from the earth, and when you were yet unborn in your mothers' wombs; therefore hold not yourselves purified; God knows very well him who is Godfearing." Qur'an An-Najm/Stars 53:31

Allah chooses for His mercy to give to whomever He wills. It is pure generosity from Him.

يَخْتَصُّ بِرَحْمَتِهِۦ مَن يَشَآءُ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ ذُو ٱلْفَضْلِ ٱلْعَظِيمِ

"He singles out for His mercy whom He will; God is of bounty abounding." Qur'an AleImran 3:74

So, if you have the traces in your life of obedience or closeness to Allah, you have nothing to be proud of but everything to be grateful. Your job is to turn to Him with gratitude.

We still need to supplicate, pray and obey Allah. The effort need to be there because Allah's mercy is near those who excel in goodness. In the end there is a need for gratitude.

إِنَّ رَحْمَتَ ٱللَّهِ قَرِيبٌۭ مِّنَ ٱلْمُحْسِنِينَ

"Verily, the mercy of Allah is near to those who excel in goodness" Qur'an Al-'Araf 7:56

The du'a becomes a means to take you to Allah rather than distracts you from Him. Check your heart next time you ask Allah to give you wealth, don't start thinking about what nice company you will have or the vacation you always want to take with your loved ones (for example).

May Allah make us among His thankful slaves and bring us closer to Him. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

Wassalaam

Friday, May 14, 2010

Forgive! Forgive! Forgive!

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

We try our best not to sin but a sin that drives you towards Allah is better than the worship that make you feel that you are better than others. Don't look down upon a sinner for the wheel is still spinning. Tomorrow the sinner might repent and he/she becomes the beloved of Allah. Allah is at-Tawwab. He not only is the One who accepts repentance but also the One who guides us towards repentance, and he guides whomever He wills. When someone sincerely repents, he is similar to the one that has no sin.

If people do wrong to you, forgive, forgive, forgive them--don't even hesitate. You don't lose anything by forgiving people. In fact, you gain the key to Paradise. In this life you will feel like a butterfly--light and free. Why? Because that weight of holding grudges, hatred and bad feelings disappear from your heart. Your heart is now lightened. So why would you not want to forgive people, why do you want to hold on to your bad feelings, grudges or hatred? How is this--you want Allah to forgive you but you don't want to forgive people?

Remember, Allah is the One who created our final abodes. Our concern should be where we are going to land after this world, not who did what to us from ages ago or even from yesterday. Move on towards Allah, the King of Kings, the best of Judges.

Maybe you cannot see Allah, but you can see Allah's great attributes. They are clear in our lives. But often we just pass them by because we are too busy with our lives or simply not interested.

"Verily! In the creation of the heavens and the earth, and in the alternation of night and day, there are indeed signs for people of pure understanding. Those who remember Allah standing, sitting, and lying down on their sides, and reflect on the creation of the heavens and the earth, (saying): "Our Lord! You have not created (all) this without purpose, glory to You! (Exalted are You above all that they associate with You as partners). So, save us from the torment of the Fire." Qur'an AleImran 3:190-191

So accustom and occupy yourself to look and reflect on Allah's creations instead of bickering among yourselves.

"Only those believe in Our signs who, when they are reminded of them, fall down prostrate and proclaim the praise of their Lord, not waxing proud. Their sides shun their couches as they call on their Lord in fear and hope; and they expend of that We have provided them. No soul knows what comfort is laid up for them secretly, as a recompense for that they were doing. What? Is he who has been a believer like unto him who has been ungodly? They are not equal. As for those who believe, and do deeds of righteousness, there await them the Gardens of the Refuge, in hospitality for that they were doing. But as for the ungodly, their refuge shall be the Fire; as often as they desire to come forth from it, they shall be restored into it, and it shall be said to them, 'Taste the chastisement of the Fire, which you cried lies to.' Qur'an As-Sajda/Prostration 32:15-20

May Allah guide us and give us tawfiq. Ameen. Please keep us in your night prayers. Jazakum Allahu khairan.

Wassalaam

Pray for your children

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

We pray for our child, not against the child, for the prayer of a parent for the child is answered.

My youngest son always make long supplications during his witr prayers and every so often he would remind me to ask Allah to answer his du'a. When I asked him what were the du'as, he wouldn't tell me. So I said, "What if the du'a is not good for you?" He said, "then you say grant the du'a if it is good for me and if it is not good for me, ask Allah to make it good for me!" So that's how I asked Allah.

Now, what does a mom do when her 16 year old wants to drive like his friends? My answer is if you feel that your child is not ready, then the child shouldn't be driving. And you stand firm on your ground. You are the parent and he is the child. We don't go by what others do, but we go by what we think is best for our children. Sometimes it may be doing something that is not normal and subject you to ridicule but you stand firm. I am definitely not a proponent of teenage driving. I did not drive until I graduated from college, got a job and could afford to buy myself a car. I live. My children knew this and they knew it would be a steep uphill battle to get me to let them drive.

When one of my sons turned the age when he could legally get his teenage driver's permit, I said NO when he asked. He tried to persuade me to let him take his driver's permit for more than a year until he finally gave up. To me, there is no need for him to drive--I can drive him anyway he needs to go.

Finally, the other day, for strategic considerations, I told him I would let him get his driver's license. So I set up an appointment for him. He was anxious to take the test but at the same time he knew even if he passed the test, I would not let him drive. As we were driving to the test facility, he voiced that sentiment, "you are not going to let me drive even if I passed the test" I responded, "with me in the car maybe, inshaAllah." He reclined his seat and went silent.

We arrived at the test location but the person did not let him take the test. The appointment was actually for his younger brother and his actual appointment was to be 2 weeks later. The person at the counter said no switching appointments! It didn't make sense to me so I was going to ask to speak to her supervisor. I looked at my son and he calmly said, "that's OK Mom, let's go." I did not expect this calm reaction from him. Well he surprised me! So we went home and I went to my computer to see if I could reschedule his actual appointment for some day sooner. I checked for a different location in another city for availability. There popped up a next day appointment available at that office. Someone must have canceled his appointment in time for me to grab it. My son was excited.

The next day as I was driving with my son to driving test location, my son asked me to make du'a for him to pass. But then he said, "you are not going to make that du'a, aren't you?" I said, I'll make that du'a you asked." And then he looked at me again, skeptical. So I made the du'a aloud. "O Allah, make my son pass his driving test if it is good for him, and if it is not good for him, make it good for him." So he smiled.

I waited for him at the location while he went for the driving test. After a while he came back and walked up to me and quite seriously said, "I knew you were not sincere with your du'a!" I said, "Come on, don't lie, you passed!" He was excited and sent text message to friends and relatives to announce that he got his driver's license. He had a dentist appointment the next day and I let him drive to the dentist (with me in the car), and let him used my debit card and filled the gas tank. He understood now the reasons for me "delaying" his driving privilege, but not being strict and old fashioned. And I have seen a big change in his attitude in just the few days after he got his driver's license. He took the initiative to do things that I normally would have to tell him repeatedly. MashaAllah.

We should be merciful and gentle with our children and amuse them with our speech. But there are times we have to be firm out of compassion for them. Children test our limits, and as parents a lot of times, we, especially the busy parents, can easily cave in. But we cannot do that. At times we can be Counsel for the Prosecution or Counsel for the Defense or the Judge or the Jury or the Executioner or the Arbitrator or the Mediator, especially if we are dealing with more than one child. You have to put on one of these hats whenever appropriate. It is exhausting and frustrating work and not all of us are set out to have a home-career in Law but you have to do it--do it with patience and forbearance. Allah entrusted them to us pure and purified on pure Islamic disposition, so they must be returned to Allah, pure and purified. Allah has given us the tools to do this---in the teachings of our Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace. Do your best to follow them and keep improving yourselves and leave the rest to Him.

May Allah bless your children and your families. Ameen.

And Allah knows best.

Wassalaam

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The One Who Only Knows Qur'an

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In The Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

Why are we having so much problems in our lives? It is because our hearts are filled with everything else except Allah. We need to empty that vessel from the gunk of this world and fill it with remembrance of Allah. What better way to do this other than reciting the Words of Allah?

Whomever the Qur'an and My remembrance preoccupy him from beseeching Me, I give him the best of what the beseechers are given. The superiority of the Word of God, Sublime and Most High, over all others is like the superiority of God Most High over His creation. (Tirmidhi)

To the person with the Qur'an, it is said, Recite and ascend! Recite measuredly just as you used to recite in the world! Your station will be at the last verse you recite. (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Nasa'i)

Someone without Qur'an in the heart is like a ruined house. (Tirmidhi)

Those who read the Book of God, and establish prayer, and spend, secretly and openly, from that which He has bestowed on them, they look forward to imperishable gain. So that He fully recompense them their wages and increase of His grace. Indeed, He is All-Forgiving, Thankful. Qur'an Fatir 35:29-30

Aisha, Allah be well pleased with her, said, The Messenger of God, Allah bless him and grant him peace, ordered us to treat people according to their due rank. (Abu Dawud)

Exalting Allah Most High includes giving honor to the gray-haired Muslim, to whomever bears the Qur'an without exceeding its proper bounds or shunning it, and any person of authority who acts justly. (Abu Dawud)

Jabir, Allah be well pleased with him, said that the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, would gather two casualties from Uhud and then say, “Which of the two deceased has amassed the most Qur'an?” If one of them was indicated, he would put him first in the lahd (the portion of the grave site closer to the Qibla. (Bukhari)

Whoever recites one letter from the Book of Allah has one reward, and rewards are multiplied by 10 of their kind. I do not say 'Alif Lam Mim' is a single letter, rather 'Alif' is a letter, 'Lam' is a letter, and 'Mim' is a letter. (Tirmidhi)

The best among you is one who learns the Qur'an and teaches it. (Bukhari)

Aisha, Allah be well pleased with her, stated that the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: The one who recites the Qur'an and is skilled therein will be with the obedient, noble, recording angels, and the one who reads the Qur'an stammering, it being difficult for him, has two rewards. (Bukhari and Muslim)

There is no envy except concerning two: a person to whom God has given the Qur'an and given wealth from which he spends (charitably) night and day. (Bukhari & Muslim)

I hope this will motivate you to read the Qur'an and start memorizing some Qur'an everyday, and if you have children, to have them do the same. Even if it means reading a few verses and memorizing only one verse a day, make that intention and go with it. Allah will increase you and your family, and Allah will make you and your family the bearers of Qur'an one day. InshaAllah.

This is an amazing video of a young man who doesn't know anything other than Qur'an. SubhanAllah. It brought me to tears when I viewed it. I have viewed it several times because I just couldn't get over it! Show this to your children--a good motivation for them. May Allah reward the sister who sent this link to me. And may Allah bless this amazing young man. MashaAllah.

The One Who Only Knows Qur'an

May Allah bless your day. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

What is the Story?

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

A story is a meaningful narrative. It has a beginning--an exposition, a middle--conflicts and climax, and an ending--resolution. Otherwise you don't call it a story--it would be a blog, blab, snippets, events, history, news.

If you read a good romantic novel, you want to jump to last page and see what the ending is. Sometimes the ending can be like this "...and they live happily ever after," and sometimes it can be like this "...and she swallowed the poison and fell by his lifeless body." And you closed the book with a sense of satisfaction or dissatisfaction depending on the ending. But you missed all the excitement in the middle and the story is meaningless for you because you didn't take the time to read the entire book.

Allah tells us the best of stories.

"We relate to you the best of stories by revealing this Qur'an to you, though before it you were one of the heedless." Qur'an Yusuf 12:3

"..so, relate stories, haply they will reflect." Qur'an Al-'Araf 7:176

Our life is a story. A life without meaning is not worth living. We will self-destruct if life is stripped of meaning.

Someone who experiences life as a mere "series of events"--get up, take the kids to school, go to work, work, come home, fight with wife (or wife fight with him), go to sleep, get up, take kids to school, go to work, work, come home, make up with spouse, go to sleep--he doesn't know what the meaning of life is.

Someone who experiences life as a small part of a larger story has found meaning, and this will satisfy a deep psychological need.

Different stories resonate to different degrees, but the story that will resonate the most powerfully is the story that we are psychologically wired to belief in, which is the true and wonderful story that Allah tells us in the Qur'an. The degree to which the story resonates within us is commensurate with the degree to which we realize our slavehood to our Lord. The meaning of life is found in our slavehood to our Lord, which is what the "Primoridal Covenant" was all about.

"And when thy Lord took from the Children of Adam, from their loins, their seed, and made them testify touching themselves, 'Am I not your Lord?' They said, 'Yes, we testify'-- lest you should say on the Day of Resurrection, 'As for us, we were heedless of this,...'" Qur'an Al-'Araf 7:172

If you turn away from your selfish desires, you will live a more pleasurable life. Someone without a slavehood-mindset cannot imagine humbling himself to his Lord. He equates submission to his Lord with the deprivation of pleasure. He doesn't realize that his frenzied pursuit of pleasure desensitizes him from feeling pleasure (that's why he gets bored) and keeps him from grateful contentment, which brings a delight to pleasure that cannot be found anywhere else.

Someone with a slavehood-mindset will enjoy the pleasures of life with a deep feeling of gratitude, which will accentuate the pleasures of the world. If he lets desires overcome him, he will sense first-hand that the pleasurable feeling leaves him

Our lives is but a part of the story of creation. The ending is told, and to remind us, Allah shows us signs along the way. The signs are meant for you to stop and refocus your life towards Allah for a good ending. Just like the red light you see ahead of you and if you keep accelerating, it doesn't help you in the slightest, ignoring Allah's signs and continue busy yourselves with this world, your story won't end with happily ever after.

"What, did you think that We created you only for sport, and that you would not be returned to Us?' Then high exalted be God, the King, the True! There is no god but He? the Lord of the noble Throne." Qur'an The Faithful 23:115-116

"We have not created the heavens and earth, and what between them is, for vanity; such is the thought of the unbelievers, wherefore woe unto the unbelievers because of the Fire! Or shall We make those who believe and do righteous deeds as the workers of corruption in the earth, or shall We make the Godfearing as the transgressors? A Book We have sent down to thee, Blessed, that men possessed of minds may ponder its signs and so remember." Qur'an Sad 38:27-29

May Allah make us His obedient slaves and make our ending better than our beginning at the highest of Iman. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

Wassalaam

Monday, May 10, 2010

World's Model Parents

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

No one can deny or reject the Shari'ah's ruling that husbands have the right to discipline their wives and parents have the right to discipline their children. But understand that beating is only used to encourage people to do things, not to let off steam. And beating is only used as the last resort in disciplining. First, you have to talk to the person and try to convince the person to do what you want the person to do. You try to encourage the person to do what you want the person to do through positive reinforcement--gifts, reward, favors, praises, charms, etc. You exercise forbearance and patience while trying to get the person do what you want the person to do. People are more receptive to good treatment than bad treatment. So start with kindness instead of harshness when you want something from the other person.

I recently heard from a very well known and respectable scholar, who never beat his wife or children. This piece of information is very telling. Something I never heard before but Alhamdulillah it is a very important piece of my own puzzles on this issue of beating. He related that the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, used to have a small siwak and he told his wife that if he was not afraid of Allah he would give his wife pain with that siwak. He didn't beat her with the siwak. Go figure. The Prophet of Allah, Allah bless him and grant him peace, who knew that all his sins--past, present and future--were forgiven, but he still feared Allah, and so he did not beat his wife, not even with a small siwak he was carrying. Are we not afraid of Allah?

There is no god except Allah. He created what is in the heavens and the earth. The One who benefits and harms is Allah. The One who gives you all the blessings is Allah. Allah told us this in order to convince us of His existence and drive you to worship and obey Him. He told us whoever does good deed will go to Paradise and every good deed is 10 reward and that could reach 700 times. This is to encourage us to do good. So why don't we use this method to encourage people to do good? Allah also tells us that whoever doesn't like to do good and insist to do bad he will go to the Hellfire.

Beating, as we should understand, is not to physically harm, but merely to scare the person from doing something in disobedience of Allah. If you have an Islamic home, if a child sees a small stick on his father's hand, this would scare him. And a wife would too, if you are a true shepherd.

You see much in the animal kingdom how the animals live together in solidarity and how the parents protect their young from danger, feed them, teach them and make big sacrifices for them. They think of their young before themselves and feed them first. Allah is the One who teaches these animals to live this way and think about their young, feed and protect them. It is said that the storks are among the world's model parents because of their care, attachment and sacrifice that both parents show to their young. During a very hot weather, too hot even for a human to bear, the parents would shower the young through their bills with water they fetch together and they would spread their wings to shade their young from the hot sun. We should be better than these animals but sometimes we are the culprit, the ones who hurt those under our protection. Like the animals we have our guidance from Allah in the Qur'an. So learn the Qur'an and put the teachings into practice in your family the way it is supposed to be.

"There is not an animal in the earth, nor a flying creature flying on two wings, but they are communities like unto you. We have neglected nothing in the Book (of Our decrees). Then unto their Lord they will be gathered." Qur'an Al-Anaam 6:38

إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيْهِ رَٰجِعُونَ
'Surely we belong to God, and to Him we return' (Qur'an Al-Baqarah 2:156)

May Allah guide us. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.

Wassalaam

related reading:
The True Shepherd

Going Back To Nature

Who Is The Shepherd

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Divorce Is Not The Answer To Most Marriages

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

Divorce Busting
By Michele Weiner-Davis

Divorce is not the answer

But those days are gone. Now, I do whatever I can to help people find solutions to their marital problems so that they can stay together. I do not get sidetracked by pessimism and hopelessness as I did in days past. Now I know that hopelessness is a reasonable response to an unreasonable situation. Nothing more, nothing less. It is natural for people to feel pessimistic when, day after day, month after month, nothing improves, problems never get resolved. Feelings of pain and rejection are ever-present.

How can people envision their marriages improving when their track record hasn't been so good? Believing that there's still some solution that might work requires a leap of faith. Now I am convinced that pessimism and hopelessness are feelings based on past performances; feelings that are changeable, feelings worth changing. People can and should stay together and work out their differences.

Why the switch? There are many reasons. Over the past several years I have witnessed the suffering and disillusionment that are the predictable by-products of divorce. I have seen people who have been divorced for five years or longer with wounds that won't heal. These people failed to anticipate the pain and upheaval divorce leaves in its wake. I have heard countless divorced couples battle tenaciously over the very same issues they believed they were leaving behind when they walked out the door. They learned too late that the act of divorce does not free them from their ex-spouses' emotional grip; some ghosts live forever.

I have heard too many disillusioned individuals express regrets about their belief that their ex-spouse was the problem only to discover similar problems in their second marriages or, even more surprisingly, in their new single lives. They admit to recreating the same unproductive patterns of interacting in new relationships, repeating old mistakes or discovering that they are still miserable.

Diagnosing one's spouse as the source of the problem, a common antecedent to divorce, doesn't take into account the roles both partners play in the deterioration of the relationship. The habits spouses developed over the years go with them when they walk out the door. This may partly account for the saddening statistic that 60% of second marriages also end in divorce.

And then there are the children, the real victims in divorce. Research shows that, except in extreme cases of abuse, children want their parents together. Children have no say in a decision that profoundly affects them for the rest of their lives. When parents decide to end their marriage, it means the death of the family. As the family disintegrates, a child's sense of comfort and security becomes shaken.

Carl Whitaker, a leader in the field of family therapy, once said, "When children are involved, there is no such thing as divorce." Battles over parenting issues don't end with divorce, they get played out even more vigorously with children as the innocent bystanders. Uncomfortable gatherings at future family weddings, bar mitzvahs, graduations, births and funerals provide never-ending reminders that divorce is forever.

I've met children of all ages who, even after both parents remarry, secretly hope their own parents will, someday reunite. Many well-adjusted adults whose parents separated or divorced when they were children admit an emptiness that never goes away. Most parents recognize that divorce will impact on their children, they just don't anticipate the lasting effects. In regards to this, I've heard too many divorced parents say, "I wish I knew then what I know now." Gradually, I have come to the conclusion that divorce is not the answer. It doesn't necessarily solve the problems it purports to solve. Most marriages are worth saving.

Most problems are solvable
I have not arrived at this conclusion based on religious or moralistic views. From my perspective, divorce is neither immoral nor bad. In fact, in extreme cases, certain relationships are better off terminated for the health and well being of everyone involved. This book will also address these exceptional situations. However, most people considering divorce do not fall into these extreme categories.

May Allah bless your marriage. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

Wassalaam

Invitation To Memorize The Qur'an (for Youth)/Cash$$$ Award

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In The Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Program: Project Qur'an Memorization for Youth/Cash $$$ Award

"The best among you is one who learns the Qur'an and teaches it." (Bukhari)
"Someone without Qur'an in the heart is like a ruined house." (Tirmidhi)

Goals:
1) to bring youths and their families to the masjid regularly
2) to liven the masjid
3) to instill the love of the Qur'an and Islam
4) to fulfill the communal obligation of having local Qur'an memorizers for the community

Venue: Masjid al-Ittehad, 925 S Anza Ave, Vista, CA

Orientation and Launching: May 21, 2010 at 6pm

All conditions stated below apply:

1) The participant must be a San Diego county resident, between 7 and 23 years old and must be able to read the Qur'an at time of enrollment.

2) The participant must attend the program at Masjid al-Ittehad. Attendance is required 60 minutes before Maghrib until 'Isha everyday (no more than 1 absence or tardiness per week is allowed). Subject to change based on daylight savings time/season.

3) Program will be launched on Friday May 21, 2010. All participants and their parents/guardians must be present at the orientation on May 21, 2010 at 6 pm.

4) The participant is given 2 years to memorize the entire Qu'ran.

5) The sponsors have the right to limit the number of participants.

6) The participant must obey the rules of the masjid and the program.

7) The sponsors have the right to exclude or remove any participants at any time without notice.

8) Awards and Prices:
First top memorizer will receive $3000
Second top memorizer will receive $2000
Third top memorizer will receive $1500
Remaining memorizers will receive $500 per person
Remaining participants who have memorized over 10 chapters of the Qur'an will receive $100 per person.
Decisions will be based on attendance, attitude and ability to memorize the Qur'an with proper tajweed. Knowing the translation of the Qur'an is a plus.

Note: More awards will be given based on future sponsorships.

9) All awards will be presented in June 2012.

10) All decisions are final.

11) Enrollment is free.

12) Parents' participation: As an encouragement for your child, we encourage you to contribute $50 after each time your child completed half a chapter of the Qur'an (which is about 10 pages). This will all go to your child as a gift.

13) Community participation: If you have any generous or resourceful friends, we encourage you to seek contributions from them for this program so we can increase the prices and structure some other incentives.

14) To participate, please send request to aishaothman@gmail.com before 5/21//10.
Please provide the following information in your request:

Name of participant and date of birth
Parents' names
Address
Telephone number
Masjid attended, if any

May Allah accept our worship and grant us tawfiq. Ameen.

Amazing example: http://www.mashahd.net/view_video.php?viewkey=4773aeffd7f7067784d5

Wassalaam

P.S. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE AWARD, PLEASE CONTACT ME AT: aishaothman@gmail.com

revised 5/14/10

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Sacred Institution

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends,

I pray that you are well.

If you sit in a criminal court that deal with domestic violence cases, you will be scared--scared that our kids could be the ones in that defendant's chair. May Allah protect our children and our families from this calamity. Ameen.

I was in a courtroom yesterday and there came a young woman in handcuffs and shackles. She was 19 years old, about 115 lbs, charged with attempted murder of her marine husband, who was said to be about 225 lbs. How this happened? They got into a fight and she was accused of taking a kitchen knife and sliced her husband's finger. Her husband was holding their infant child when this happened. One of the things the court looked at on whether or not a parent can have contact with a child in domestic violence cases is whether or not the child was present during the fight. She was denied contact with her infant child.

Young people are becoming angrier and angrier it seems. Indeed, our families are not immune from this. But there are things we can do to avoid this from escalating to violence. We must avoid this from happening to our families at all cost.

One of the goals of marriage is to produce a generation of new Muslims to carry on the message of Islam. We can't fulfill this goal if we ignore our responsibilities towards Allah. Raising them to worship Allah alone is our responsibility. You can't teach them this if you yourself don't live Islam. Praying five times a day and fasting in the month of Ramadhan is not sufficient to bring Islam into the family.

The family is the first source of guidance and happiness for these children. If the children are brought up where they can see displeasure and unhappiness of their parents, and the stress and problems within the family, this will affect their behavior and could lead to violent behaviors.

The institution of marriage is sacred in Islam, meaning people should not get married without knowledge of this institution. Your child cannot enter a college without completing the grades in school and you don't pick a college for your child without knowledge of the college. Likewise, marriage is similar, you have to prepare your child at a very early stage as they will one day enter this institution. First and foremost is to teach them good character.

Character is of extreme importance in Islam. It goes hand in hand with faith and piety.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "I have been sent to complete righteous character." (Ahmad)

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "Piety and righteousness is being of good character." (Muslim)

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "There is nothing heavier on the believer's scale on the Day of Judgment than good character." (Tirmidhi)

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "The believers with the most complete Iman are the ones with the best behavior." (Ahmad, Abu Dawud)

"Bad women are for bad men and bad men are for bad women. And good women are for good men and good men are for good women." Qur'an An-Noor 26

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "A woman is married because of her religiousness, wealth or beauty. So go for the one who is religious and may your hands be filled with dust (that is, may you prosper)." (Muslim)

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "If someone whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you (to marry your daughter or ward), then marry (her off to) him. If you do not do so, there will be commotion on the earth and great deal of evil." (Tirmidhi, ibn Majah)

Prospective spouses must ask and find out about the other person's behavior and manners. A sign of this, look at the other person's family's manners and behaviors as many times, although not always, the behaviors of people of the same family are similar. There are some characteristics that run in some families, whether they be good or bad characters, such as anger, patience, courteous, politeness, etc.

May Allah give us tawfiq. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

Wassalaam

Friday, May 7, 2010

Signs For People Who Reflect

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

"Verily! In the creation of the heavens and the earth, and in the alternation of night and day, there are indeed signs for people of pure understanding. Those who remember Allah standing, sitting, and lying down on their sides, and reflect on the creation of the heavens and the earth, (saying): "Our Lord! You have not created (all) this without purpose, glory to You! (Exalted are You above all that they associate with You as partners). So, save us from the torment of the Fire." Qur'an AleImran 3:190-191

People of pure understanding are those who remember Allah not only when they are standing or sit or lying down but they remember Allah throughout their lives. This was the state of the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace. His wife, Aisha, Allah be well pleased with her used to say, "He (the Prophet) used to remember Allah in all of his moments."

You can only remember Allah if you forget about what you want. Most people can't remember Allah. When they start to pray, they start thinking about their work, the test that is coming up, the people that need to be pleased, the money that need to be earned, the bills that need to be paid, the problems that are about to come and the ones that already came, their doctor's appointment, their horrible marriage, their nightmares. When they sit and recite the Qur'an or start the dhikr of Allah, just after a few verses, just after a few SubhanAllah, their hearts, their minds, start to wander and then they want to get up and run away. Why is this? Do we forget that work, people, money, time are all creations of Allah? Why are we submitting to creations of Allah? This is because we have these desires and these desires pull us towards them and so we can't focus on Allah, the Creator of these things that you are thinking about.

But for someone who doesn't want and desire anything or anyone except Allah, when they enter the prayer or sit down to recite the Qur'an or say the dhikr, his heart and soul will be quiet and he will remember Allah. It is being in this state that enables us to reflect on the creation in the heavens and the earth the way we should be reflecting on. You take your prayer, reciting of the Qur'an or dhikr of Allah to your life instead of taking your life to the prayer, reciting of the Qur'an or dhikr of Allah.

Someone who can remember Allah without being distracted, their thoughts will be clear. Someone who does not have a clear thought, when they look at the creation of Allah, they see them as exciting, entertaining, pleasurable, or the opposite--problems, burdens, pain. But someone whose heart has been opened, when they see the creation of Allah, they will forget about themselves. They feel insignificant before the power they see before them. They will see this as a sign that point to the power, greatness, majesty and glory of Allah and so they will want to worship Him and want to do what Allah bid them to do.

One of the signs that point to the power of Allah is the creation of wives for men. People who do not have a clear thought, they will see this creation as an object of pleasure and after some time, they see it a burden. But someone whose heart has been opened, when they see their wives, they see a beautiful creation of Allah that they will feel insignificant before the power of Allah and that will drive them to worship Him.

Like every other creations of Allah, women are created to help men to worship Him. You are worshiping Him if you do what Allah bid you to do. Allah commands men to treat their wives kindly, so you treat your wife kindly--you don't oppress her and harm her in any way--or you have gone astray.

"Among His signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose and comfort in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for people who reflect." Qur'an Ar-Room 30:21

"O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam), and from him (Adam) He created his wife (Eve), and from them both He created many men and women; and fear Allah through Whom you demand (your mutual rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship). Surely, Allah is Ever an All¬Watcher over you." Qur'an An-Nisaa 4:1

"...And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good." Qur'an 4:19

"He has created from him his wife (Eve), in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her." Qur'an Al-Araf 7:189

The hadiths are filled with words enjoining kind treatment to women and to wives.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "The best of you is the one who is best to his family (wife) and I am the best of you to my family."

"The most complete of believers are those with the best character; and the best of you are the best of you to your spouses. (Tirmidhi)

The relationship between a man and his wife should be one of love, mercy and mutual understanding. The marriage is to bring people closer to Allah. When this type of marriage cannot be achieved, the man is ordered by Allah in the Qur'an:

"And when you have divorced women and they have fulfilled the term of their prescribed period, either take them back on reasonable basis or set them free on reasonable basis. But do not take them back to hurt them, and whoever does that, then he has wronged himself." Qur'an Al-Baqarah 2:231

Our mother, Zaynab bint Jahsh married to Zayd Ibn Haritha (the beloved one of the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, and once his slave and adopted son), Allah be well pleased with them both, for the sake of obeying Allah and His Messenger, Allah bless him and grant him peace. They divorced for fear of disobeying Allah and His Messenger, Allah bless him and grant him peace.

"O you who believe! Fear Allah and keep your duty to Him. And let every person look to what he has sent forth for the morrow, and fear Allah. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what you do. And be not like those who forgot Allah (i.e. became disobedient to Allah) and He caused them to forget their own selves, (let them to forget to do righteous deeds). Those are the Fasiqun (rebellious, disobedient to Allah)." Qur'an al-Hashr 59:18-19

Remember, we are created to worship our Creator. Nothing matters except Allah. Don't lose sight of this.

"And I created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)." Qur'an Adh-Dhariyat 51:56

Reflect on His creations and you say: "Our Lord! You have not created (all) this without purpose, glory to You! (Exalted are You above all that they associate with You as partners). So, save us from the torment of the Fire."

May Allah make us among those with pure understanding and among the righteous. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Ameen.

Wassalaam

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Control Your Anger

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

I cannot tell you how sad and disturbed I have been for the past few weeks since I received the heartbreaking news. How would you feel if you see someone you love in handcuffs and shackles? I wasn't about to go to this court hearing because I know I would not be able to avoid such a scene. I know my heart won't be able to bear it. But I felt I had to put my feelings aside to give moral support to my friend.

So I called my friend the day before the court hearing and told her that I was planning to be with her in court. She was very happy and thanked me vehemently--for she did not expect that I would attend being aware of my other obligations. There we sat nervously in the courtroom waiting for the case to be called. There he came out into the courtroom with hand cuffs and shackles! At that moment we both came to tears. Both of us have a great love for him in different ways--she, a mother's love and me, a love for a brother in Islam. I do not wish anything like this to happen to anyone, especially to our children and our youths--they are our future and the future of Islam. He gazed at us from the other side of the courtroom and we raised our hands and moved our lips to say assalaamu alaykum. He returned our salaams with lip movements. My friend just could not stop sobbing!

As I am writing this to you I am crying remembering that day and anticipating his future. Only Allah knows what his future is going to be, but please make du'a for him and this family. And I hope when you read this you can feel if this is your son. I hope this will motivate you to do something quickly to bring youths (teenagers to 40 year olds) to the masjid. Our youths need proper Islamic education, lots of support growing up and in raising their own families in this very trying and difficult times.

As well, Muslims need to set models for others to learn from. We cannot be the criminals.

In all domestic violence cases, it is because someone could not control his anger. The consequence of this is very grave. The criminal justice system is tougher than before--so don't take this lightly.

We need to control our anger because uncontrollable anger leads to destruction. We see this over and over again.

If one gets angry, then it is necessary that the person performs a muhasabah, which is to account oneself of the mistakes committed, what leads to them and how to overcome them in the future. This is an important training for us to improve ourselves.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said that anger comes from the shaytan. Shaytan is our open enemy and shaytan promotes evil and creates disputes among us. Shaytan promotes evil to people by influencing their perception.

"And say to My servants (that) they should (only) speak that which is the best; (Because) shaytan verily sows dissensions among them. Surely, Shaytan is an open enemy to man." Qur'an Al-Isra' 17:53

Indeed, if somebody uses a vague word in his speech, then Shaytan ‘whispers’ a wrong interpretation or understanding to the listeners of the speech that may affect the relationship amongst them. This is how relationships in the family, brothers, sisters and friends are severed.

Allah mentions the qualities of the Muttaqin (God-fearing): “Those who spend (in Allah’s cause) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress their anger, and who pardon men, verily, Allah loves the Muhsinun (the good-doers).” Qur'an AleImran 3:133-134

Abu Hurairah, Allah be well pleased with him, reported that a man said to the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace "Advise me! "The Prophet said, "Do not become angry and furious." The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, "Do not become angry and furious."

Abu Hurairah related that the Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "A strong person is not the person who throws his adversaries to the ground. A strong person is the person who contains himself when he is angry." (Bukhari)

Our Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, taught us how to control our anger.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "I know a word, the saying of which will cause him to relax, if he does say it. If he says: 'I seek Refuge with Allah from Shaytan' then all his anger will go away." (Bukhari)

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: “Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.” (Abu Daud)
Abu Dharr , Allah be well pleased with him, narrated: The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said to us: "When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down." (Abu Daud)

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "If one of you becomes angry then he should be silent.”

And from the du'a (supplications) of the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, "I ask you O Allah, for truthful speech during times of pleasure and anger" (Nasaai and Ahmad)

There are praiseworthy anger as known from the examples of the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace. He never got angry except when the commandments of Allah are violated. If we want to get angry for the sake of Allah, then we need to be careful that we are really not getting angry for ourselves or for our own interests, and we do not commit wrong and illegal actions like using harsh, disparage or vulgar words, or beating up somebody. If the commanding or forbidding leads to more harm than benefit, then it should be avoided based on the principle of weighing between the benefits and harms.

It is also known in the medical arena that anger causes many health problems especially if they are not controlled. All shari’ah injunctions are for our benefit, even if we don't know them (as yet) but strive to follow them anyway. And our beloved Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, is our best example.

May Allah guide us all and grant us tawfiq. May Allah protect our youths. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

Wassalaam

related reading:

http://journey2allah.blogspot.com/2010/05/who-is-shepherd.html

http://journey2allah.blogspot.com/2010/05/true-shepherd.html

http://journey2allah.blogspot.com/2010/05/going-back-to-nature.html

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Going Back to Nature

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

We tend to complain too much, a lot of times over nothing! Even if it is over some "real" things, there is no reason to complain. Look at what you have--so much--would you want those to go away? If not, then why are you complaining?

Living in this concrete world, where everything is artificial, leave some harmful scars in our hearts and our way of thinking. It is keeping us busy with the hard stuff. It is keeping us away from contemplating in the creation Allah. When we don't contemplate in the creation of Allah, we can't be close to Allah because we cannot feel His presence. If we don't feel His presence, it is no wonder we complain because we don't see Him--we don't see His hands in all that we see. If something didn't go our way, if we didn't get what we want, we have to lash out, angry, and upset. No patience, no compassion, no mercy! We become hard!

We were created from this earth. We are part of the nature but we don't look at nature anymore. This concrete world is against the natural disposition of our creation.

Look at how many references in Qur'an to the creation of Allah--sun, moon, stars, mountains, rivers, ocean, plants. All these are mentioned in the Qur'an. Why is Allah talking about these things? He wants to draw our attention to His creation because His creation is a mirror of His abilities--His attributes. If you want to learn about the greatness of Allah, you look at His creation. If you want to learn about Allah's compassion and mercy, you look at His creation. If you want to learn about the wisdom of Allah, you look at His creation. If you want to learn about the knowledge of Allah, look at His creation. Basically if you want to learn about all of the names/attributes of Allah, you'll find many reflections of them in His creation.

There are 99 attributes of Allah that were told to us. It behooves all of us to learn and understand them. Through His attributes, you will learn how to behave good towards His creation. Knowing Allah humbles us. The effect of this humility will manifest in your dealings with people including your own family.

If you live in this concrete world, where you cannot even hear the rooster crowing in the morning, the donkey braying, the cow mooing, how are you going to be close to nature that would give you the chance to contemplate naturally? Well, you have to make a conscious effort to do this--look up to the skies, the clouds, look at the silk plants in that beautiful oriental vase, at your children fighting or crying or praying, even at the chair that you are sitting on, the greens in your pockets, the fingers that are typing away, the sweet aroma of that Tazo Calm tea. Don't complain, don't get upset, don't get angry, but be thankful. It is only for your own good for Allah will give you more if you are thankful.

May Allah make us among the grateful and the patient. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

Wassalaam

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

A True Shepherd

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

Narrated Abu Huraira, Allah be well pleased with him: The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Allah did not send any prophet but shepherded sheep." His companions asked him, "Did you do the same?" The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, replied, "Yes, I used to shepherd the sheep of the people of Mecca for some Qirats." (Bukhari)

It was mentioned that the first profession of the Prophets was shepherding. Allah trained all Prophets to be leaders by having them go through this line of work--being a shepherd.

The most important lesson from shepherding that the Prophets learned is responsibility. A shepherd is accountable for his flock. A shepherd cannot go back to the owner and said, "I am sorry I lost one sheep because that sheep happened be stupid." It doesn't matter what the sheep do, you are responsible for anything that happened to the flock even if the sheep is wrong. The Prophets are going to be accountable for their people one day.

Shepherding also teaches the Prophets patience. Taking out sheep to graze requires a lot of patience. Sheep take their time, they are slow, but you have to wait. You have to be patient. They might end up fighting with each other or they might end up playing but you have to be patient. You have to wait. You can't really tell them "finish up, we have to leave." They are going to take their time and you have to sit there waiting. That's why sometimes you see a painting of a shepherd sitting on a rock looking at his sheep grazing. Shepherds wait until their sheep have their fill. They do this day in and do out, leave in the morning and come back at sunset. You have to be patient with these animals and have to bear with them, even if they are communicating well with you or not, you still have to be patient.

Prophet Musa alayhissalaam was very patient with Bani Israel. It was an unbearable task to deal with them but Musa alayhissalaam had a training in shepherding longer than any prophets. He was a shepherd for 10 years. He went through a lot but he was patient. Prophet Nuh alayhissalaam went through 950 years in da'wah. He tried every different ways to get his people to believe in the One God--publicly and privately, at night and daytime, but they rejected the message. Imagine doing the same thing, meeting the same people who turned you down for 950 years! Patience.

The wisdom behind having the Prophets as shepherd before Prophethood so that they may become skilled in herding the flock as they will be responsible for their respective nations in the future. In herding one attains forbearance and mercy and imbues patience for when the shepherd is obliged to gather his flock and herded from one area to another at once knowing the traits of all, and all the while protecting the flock from predators, he has thus attained the skills necessary to lead the nation and protect it from enemies both from within and abroad. They learn patience and attain the understanding of the different nature of people. They learn to show kindness to the weak and resolve with the dominant, the reasons for which Allah chose the sheep for the Prophets as opposed to communal animals (such as cows or camels) because they are animals that are weak and need extra guidance and attention. Sheep are more difficult to maintain as a flock because of their propensity to go astray and wander away. This is akin to human society and it is the Divine wisdom of Allah to train these prophets accordingly. The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, mentioning this humble trait shared by all prophets attesting to his humility to Allah. (ibn Hajar)

We are all shepherds in this life. A leader is a shepherd of his followers. A man is the shepherd of his household. A woman is the shepherdess of her young children. A teacher is the shepherd(ess) of his/her students. We have to take this job seriously. You must show compassion and be merciful to them and exercise lots of forbearance and patience. We are all going to be accountable for our flocks one day before the Master, Lord of the Worlds. We must protect our flocks from the various dangers--seen or unseen, wolves and other beasts, diseases, etc and make sure you help them get home safe.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, one day he stood on the pulpit of masjid warning people of Hellfire. The narrator of the hadith said the people in the market place could hear him in the masjid repeating the warning over and over again!

May Allah grant us forbearance and patience. Ameen. Please remember us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

Wassalaam