Hijab and covering nakedness properly

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

I don't know of any scholars who disagreed that the woman cannot show more than the face and hands to non-mahram men (men who you can potentially marry).

The vast majority of Muslim scholars and jurists, past and present, have determined the minimum requirements for Muslim women's dress. Their clothing must cover the entire body, with the exception of the face and the hands, and the attire should not be form fitting, sheer or so eye-catching as to attract undue attention or reveal the shape of the body.

In one tradition, the Prophet Muhammad, Allah bless him and grant him peace, is quoted as saying: "...When the woman reaches the age of puberty, no part of her body should be seen but this --- and he pointed to his face and hands."

So why aren't many Muslim women putting on hijabs? If they have their heads covered, their hair would be showing, or their necks would be showing, or part of their arms would be showing, or their shape would be showing, or their ankles would be showing. You see this all the time, not only outside but also during prayers. And sometimes you see the same people doing this for years as if they don't know! Some cover very nicely during prayer but not outside prayers. You would think logically speaking it should be equally or more important to cover outside because of the harmful human elements outside.

You cannot not cover and you cannot not put your hijab properly. You cannot be cavalier about this issue of covering your nakedness. You cannot do that when you know you must. This action is tantamount to belittling the majesty of Allah. This hijab is not cultural my dear friends. It is the law of Allah, your Lord, your Creator, and part of being a Muslim woman is to wear your hijab around men other than your husband and non-marriageable kin. It is for your own good and for the good of others and the society, you/your children/your husbands being a member of this society. We all don't want problems--and problems can only be avoided by obeying Allah's rules.

You may not understand why Allah makes such rule for women and it maybe inconvenient for you to put on the hijab, but that cannot be the excuse to not cover your nakedness. He is the Master--you do as told and He knows what is good for you. If you say you believe in Allah, you must obey this command, at least make a sincere intention to put on the hijab and put a good faith effort to do this and keep asking Him to help you obey this command. Allah will help you if your intention is to please Him, inshaAllah. If you are not convinced that this is Allah's command, then you are obligated to seek this knowledge. You cannot play ignorant and do the same thing for the rest of your lives.

This is not something you can wait till you are ready--when you start working at home, when you quit your job, when you are older, when you go to high school, when you finish high school, when you get married, when you have children, etc. You must obey this command now. Just like you must obey any governmental laws which are designed to protect and provide safety to her citizens now, you must put on your proper hijab now. Ignorance is no excuse. Imagine a few citizens in your locality habitually disobeyed the traffic laws and ran a red light (ignorance or deliberate), there will be accidents left and right. There will be chaos on the roads. Even if some of us follow the traffic laws, all of us are not safe on the roads at all if this happens. You won't be able to drive anywhere.

So, don't think it is your private business not to put on your hijabs. You put on your hijabs to protect our families and allow the society to function properly and so ultimately it is for your own good. We don't want to be the cause of fitna/tribulation for men and our sons, adultery or marital discord in our marriages and in others.

زُيِّنَ لِلنَّاسِ حُبُّ ٱلشَّهَوَٰتِ مِنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ وَٱلْبَنِينَ وَٱلْقَنَٰطِيرِ ٱلْمُقَنطَرَةِ مِنَ ٱلذَّهَبِ وَٱلْفِضَّةِ وَٱلْخَيْلِ ٱلْمُسَوَّمَةِ وَٱلْأَنْعَٰمِ وَٱلْحَرْثِ ۗ ذَٰلِكَ مَتَٰعُ ٱلْحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنْيَا ۖ وَٱللَّهُ عِندَهُۥ حُسْنُ ٱلْمَـَٔابِ

"Decked out fair to men is the love of lusts -- women, children, heaped-up heaps of gold and silver, horses of mark, cattle and tillage. That is the enjoyment of the present life; but God -- with Him is the fairest resort." Qur'an AleImran 3:14

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "I have not left a tribulation after me, more harmful to men than women."

We, women, should be cognizant about this. Men love women. You can ask any sound man, if he can have more than one wife, he would say he would, if he is honest about it. But you can ask any sound woman, her heart is only for one man. She won't look at other men once her heart is attached to a man. There is nothing wrong for a man to love women, within the limits of Islam, because Allah created them this way and there are great wisdoms behind this creation which is a topic for another time, inshaAllah.

Allah command that women behave with dignity and decorum befitting a secure, self-respecting and self-aware human being rather than an insecure female who felt that her survival depends on her ability to attract or cajole those men who were interested not in her personality but only in her sexuality. One of the verses in the Qur'an protects a woman's fundamental rights.

يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّبِىُّ قُل لِّأَزْوَٰجِكَ وَبَنَاتِكَ وَنِسَآءِ ٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يُدْنِينَ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِن جَلَٰبِيبِهِنَّ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰٓ أَن يُعْرَفْنَ فَلَا يُؤْذَيْنَ ۗ وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ غَفُورًۭا رَّحِيمًۭا

"O Prophet, say to thy wives and daughters and the believing women, that they draw their veils close to them; so it is likelier they will be known, and not hurt. God is All-forgiving, All-compassionate." Qur'an Al-Ahzab 33:59

Certainly, women is a fitnah for men, not because women are bad but because men are created to have this physical attraction for women. Women then have a duty to help men from transgressing Allah's commands, and first and foremost is by putting on proper hijabs when you are around men. Do not allow your provocative appearance and look to be seen by any man except your husbands.

If you have been praying for years, you have no excuse not to cover yourselves or not to cover yourselves properly. Believe me, once you put it on with sincere intention to obey Allah's commands, it isn't so bad at all. In fact many sisters look much better with their hijab then without. I know many women who are fully covered even around their sons, male family members and unrelated Muslim women--i.e. they make it a default to cover and only uncover if necessary. As well, we should be more shy before Allah, Most High.

Human beings must distinguish themselves from animals by decent and disciplined behavior. But how many of us take this life with the seriousness it deserves? We originated from one father and one mother and belong to one big family, but unfortunately many of us live without any sense of collective responsibility. We are one community and the action of one person will not only reflect on other individuals but also the whole community.

Allah lays down the principle of the law of modesty. Modesty is not just for women but also for men.

قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا۟ مِنْ أَبْصَٰرِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا۟ فُرُوجَهُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَزْكَىٰ لَهُمْ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ خَبِيرٌۢ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ

وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَٰتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَٰرِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا ۖ وَلْيَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلَىٰ جُيُوبِهِنَّ ۖ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا لِبُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ ءَابَآئِهِنَّ أَوْ ءَابَآءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَآئِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَآءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ إِخْوَٰنِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِىٓ إِخْوَٰنِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِىٓ أَخَوَٰتِهِنَّ أَوْ نِسَآئِهِنَّ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَٰنُهُنَّ أَوِ ٱلتَّٰبِعِينَ غَيْرِ أُو۟لِى ٱلْإِرْبَةِ مِنَ ٱلرِّجَالِ أَوِ ٱلطِّفْلِ ٱلَّذِينَ لَمْ يَظْهَرُوا۟ عَلَىٰ عَوْرَٰتِ ٱلنِّسَآءِ ۖ وَلَا يَضْرِبْنَ بِأَرْجُلِهِنَّ لِيُعْلَمَ مَا يُخْفِينَ مِن زِينَتِهِنَّ ۚ وَتُوبُوٓا۟ إِلَى ٱللَّهِ جَمِيعًا أَيُّهَ ٱلْمُؤْمِنُونَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

"Say to the believing men, that they cast down their eyes and guard their private parts; that is purer for them. God is aware of the things they work. And say to the believing women, that they cast down their eyes' and guard their private parts, and reveal not their adornment save such as is outward; and let them cast their veils over their bosoms, and not reveal their adornment save to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husbands' fathers, or their sons, or their husbands' sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or what their right hands own, or such men as attend them, not having sexual desire, or children who have not yet attained knowledge of women's private parts; nor let them strike their feet, so that their hidden ornament may be known. And turn all together to God, O you believers; haply so you will prosper." Qur'an An-Nur 24:30-31


Allah Most High states in the Qur'an:

وَمَا خَلَقْنَا ٱلسَّمَآءَ وَٱلْأَرْضَ وَمَا بَيْنَهُمَا لَٰعِبِينَ

لَوْ أَرَدْنَآ أَن نَّتَّخِذَ لَهْوًۭا لَّٱتَّخَذْنَٰهُ مِن لَّدُنَّآ إِن كُنَّا فَٰعِلِينَ

"We created not the heaven and the earth, and whatsoever between them is, as playing; had We desired to take to Us a diversion We would have taken it to Us from Ourselves, had We done aught." Qur'an Al-Anbiya' 21:16-17

The above verse is sufficient to emphasize the seriousness with which Allah created this world and everything that exists therein, including us human beings. Allah created us for a specific and important purpose and it is the duty of every Muslim to lead a disciplined life, realizing the seriousness of this purpose.

May Allah guide us and give us tawfiq. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.

Wassalaam

The true enemy

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
السلام عليكم

I pray that you are well.

The tendency is when people say bad things about you or simply something you don't like to hear, you want to respond--to set it straight. There is no need because as for you what matters is what Allah think of you. Allah is the judge and He is just. Leave it to Him--He will make it right for you. So don't be sad or mad. Allah will reward you abundantly for being patient and for avoiding confrontation with your brother/sister. Remember, our enemy is the Shaytan, not our brother/sister.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, reminded us of Shaytan, "Beware of Shaytan, for your safety of your religion. He has lost all hope that he will ever be able to lead you astray in big things, so beware of following him in small things."

Shaytan does not care about causing dissension among the kuffar, he is concerned about the Muslims since he cannot make them non-believers, he is making them fight among themselves. He is always instigating this waswasa in the hearts of Muslims and causing fitnah among us.

A lesson from surah Yusuf when Ya'qub, Allah grant him peace, said to Yusuf, Allah grant him peace:
"He said, 'O my son, relate not thy vision to thy brothers, lest they devise against thee some guile. Surely Satan is to man a manifest enemy." Qur'an Yusuf 12:5

This is my personal story related to this topic--only in brief

A person of authority and high esteem hated me for none other than me being a Muslim woman. Suffice to say she was on a mission to destroy me. After you think she has exhausted all avenues to destroy me, she began another theory--she called me insane and someone with impaired cognitive functions. I was then had a successful career and led a systems project for a big company--so how could my cognitive functions be impaired! Alhamdulillah, I was not any of the two that she wanted people to believe.

But I knew I could not fight her at the time--I was alone and didn't have the right armor. So I waited 4 years and then fought back. How did I fought back? I immediately took the LSAT (law school entrance exam) and went to law school. I thought if I could not fight her from outside, I fight her from inside. And the only way for me to fight her from inside was to be an officer of the court (an attorney). Yes, she was a judge. After I graduated from law school, I fought her. I believe she was privately reprimanded and removed from office. La hawla wala quwwata illa billah. Throughout the four years, Allah helped me through my law school professors, some of them were judges. One of my teachers was a very wise and beloved federal court district judge and he said: "If your cognitive functions are impaired then all of ours are too, including hers. May God save us!" SubhanAllah!

So, we have bigger things to fight. Not squabbling between us. Like the cliche: what goes around comes around. Don't worry. Allah will aid you in ways unimaginable if you have believe and put all your trust in Him.

May Allah give us tawfiq. Ameen. Please don't forget me in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

Wassalaam

Who will our children marry?

BismillahirRahmanirRahim
Assalaamu alaykum

I pray that you are well.

When Hafsah, Allah be very pleased with her, became widowed, her father, Allah be very pleased with him, offered her hand to 'Uthman, Allah be very pleased with him, but 'Uthman said he was not thinking about marriage again. The he went to Abu Bakr, Allah be very pleased with him, and offered same but he was silent. 'Umar took the silence as a rejection. He took this very personal, very upset and complained to the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace. And the Prophet responded Hafsah will marry someone better than them. You can imagine the euphoria of a father to have the Prophet to be his son-in-law! Beyond his wildest dream! SubhanAllah.

We cannot have our daughters marry a prophet but we help our daughters marry righteous men. But righteous men look for righteous women. A righteous men want a wife who would be good to him, who would bring him closer to Allah, who would be a good mother for his children. And this criteria only exist in a righteous woman. This apply to our sons as well--if we want our sons to have a righteous wife and a good mother for our grandchildren, our sons themselves have to be righteous.

Part of raising our children well is we have to think long term--long term here is not saving money for their college education or prepare them for the highest college education, but who they are going to marry and bring forth generation of good Muslims--our offspring. Do we want our offspring 30, 40 or 50 years from now say this to their friends or someone they just met wearing hijab: "You know my parents were Muslims, or my grandparents were Muslims." Allah! What about him/her? If this person were your offspring talking, you would be rolling in your grave! May Allah protect us from this and have mercy on us.

However, this is a sad reality--I have heard comments like this among the people I know who came from generations of Muslims but they don't practice or worse they don't identify themselves as Muslims. Inna lillahi wainna ilaihi ra ji'un. Who is responsible for this? Perhaps you don't think it will happen to you? But don't think you are an exception--just look around you, look at what we are exposing our children to, what we are giving our children to help them learn and practice Islam--everything except love of Islam, love of Allah and His Messenger, Allah bless him and grant him peace. We, as parents, are responsible to make sure we teach our children Islam (#1 priority) so they know their responsibility, they don't become fitnah for the opposite gender, so when they have children, they can teach their children and their children can teach their children and so on. Otherwise Islam will be lost in their lives and we are responsible if we do not put our utmost effort now.

I was with a few beautiful young girls the other day at the masjid. They were the ones who would always approached me and gave salaams to me and hugged me the moment they saw me. I always teased them about how they look and always comment on their dress or hijab. Their hijabs were usually showing their hair and they sometimes wore tight jeans or pants. I usually corrected them and they listened and fixed whatever they could fix. But it is the same again the next time I saw them and again I corrected them....and again and again! That day, I had to be a little serious about it. I said to them after telling them how great they were for coming to the masjid and I was always happy to see their cheerful selves and how much I want them to be successful and for Allah to love them. They listened and smiling. While I was fixing one of the girls' hijab, I said to them. If you all want to marry a good man you have to start putting hijab not just at the masjid. If I were to look for a wife for my sons, first, I would be looking for a full time hijabi who wear hijab since puberty. Then I asked them: If my sons want to marry someone who doesn't wear hijab, do you think I will let them?

Reflect on these verses:

"And say to the believing women, that they cast down their eyes' and guard their private parts, and reveal not their adornment save such as is outward; and let them cast their veils over their bosoms, and not reveal their adornment save to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husbands' fathers, or their sons, or their husbands' sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or what their right hands own, or such men as attend them, not having sexual desire, or children who have not yet attained knowledge of women's private parts; nor let them stamp their feet, so that their hidden ornament may be known. And turn all together to God, O you believers; haply so you will prosper." Qur'an An-Nur 24:31

"Corrupt women for corrupt men, and corrupt men for corrupt women; good women for good men, and good men for good women -- these are declared quit of what they say; theirs shall be forgiveness and generous provision." Qur'an An-Nur 24:26

"Decked out fair to men is the love of lusts -- women, children, heaped-up heaps of gold and silver, horses of mark, cattle and tillage. That is the enjoyment of the present life; but God -- with Him is the fairest resort. Say: 'Shall I tell you of a better than that?' For those that are godfearing, with their Lord are gardens underneath which rivers flow, therein dwelling forever, and spouses purified, and God's good pleasure. And God sees His servants who say, 'Our Lord, we believe; forgive us our sins, and guard us against the chastisement of the Fire' -- men who are patient, truthful, obedient, expenders in alms, imploring God's pardon at the daybreak." Qur'an AleImran 3:14-17

"And the believers, the men and the women, are friends one of the other; they bid to honor, and forbid dishonor; they perform the prayer, and pay the alms, and they obey God and His Messenger. Those -- upon them God will have mercy; God is All-mighty, All-wise" Qur'an At-Tawbah 9:71

May Allah help us to raise our children well and guide us all to excellence. Ameen. Please keep us in your night prayers. Please forgive me for my shortcomings. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam