Control Your Anger

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

I cannot tell you how sad and disturbed I have been for the past few weeks since I received the heartbreaking news. How would you feel if you see someone you love in handcuffs and shackles? I wasn't about to go to this court hearing because I know I would not be able to avoid such a scene. I know my heart won't be able to bear it. But I felt I had to put my feelings aside to give moral support to my friend.

So I called my friend the day before the court hearing and told her that I was planning to be with her in court. She was very happy and thanked me vehemently--for she did not expect that I would attend being aware of my other obligations. There we sat nervously in the courtroom waiting for the case to be called. There he came out into the courtroom with hand cuffs and shackles! At that moment we both came to tears. Both of us have a great love for him in different ways--she, a mother's love and me, a love for a brother in Islam. I do not wish anything like this to happen to anyone, especially to our children and our youths--they are our future and the future of Islam. He gazed at us from the other side of the courtroom and we raised our hands and moved our lips to say assalaamu alaykum. He returned our salaams with lip movements. My friend just could not stop sobbing!

As I am writing this to you I am crying remembering that day and anticipating his future. Only Allah knows what his future is going to be, but please make du'a for him and this family. And I hope when you read this you can feel if this is your son. I hope this will motivate you to do something quickly to bring youths (teenagers to 40 year olds) to the masjid. Our youths need proper Islamic education, lots of support growing up and in raising their own families in this very trying and difficult times.

As well, Muslims need to set models for others to learn from. We cannot be the criminals.

In all domestic violence cases, it is because someone could not control his anger. The consequence of this is very grave. The criminal justice system is tougher than before--so don't take this lightly.

We need to control our anger because uncontrollable anger leads to destruction. We see this over and over again.

If one gets angry, then it is necessary that the person performs a muhasabah, which is to account oneself of the mistakes committed, what leads to them and how to overcome them in the future. This is an important training for us to improve ourselves.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said that anger comes from the shaytan. Shaytan is our open enemy and shaytan promotes evil and creates disputes among us. Shaytan promotes evil to people by influencing their perception.

"And say to My servants (that) they should (only) speak that which is the best; (Because) shaytan verily sows dissensions among them. Surely, Shaytan is an open enemy to man." Qur'an Al-Isra' 17:53

Indeed, if somebody uses a vague word in his speech, then Shaytan ‘whispers’ a wrong interpretation or understanding to the listeners of the speech that may affect the relationship amongst them. This is how relationships in the family, brothers, sisters and friends are severed.

Allah mentions the qualities of the Muttaqin (God-fearing): “Those who spend (in Allah’s cause) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress their anger, and who pardon men, verily, Allah loves the Muhsinun (the good-doers).” Qur'an AleImran 3:133-134

Abu Hurairah, Allah be well pleased with him, reported that a man said to the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace "Advise me! "The Prophet said, "Do not become angry and furious." The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, "Do not become angry and furious."

Abu Hurairah related that the Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "A strong person is not the person who throws his adversaries to the ground. A strong person is the person who contains himself when he is angry." (Bukhari)

Our Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, taught us how to control our anger.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "I know a word, the saying of which will cause him to relax, if he does say it. If he says: 'I seek Refuge with Allah from Shaytan' then all his anger will go away." (Bukhari)

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: “Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.” (Abu Daud)
Abu Dharr , Allah be well pleased with him, narrated: The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said to us: "When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down." (Abu Daud)

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "If one of you becomes angry then he should be silent.”

And from the du'a (supplications) of the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, "I ask you O Allah, for truthful speech during times of pleasure and anger" (Nasaai and Ahmad)

There are praiseworthy anger as known from the examples of the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace. He never got angry except when the commandments of Allah are violated. If we want to get angry for the sake of Allah, then we need to be careful that we are really not getting angry for ourselves or for our own interests, and we do not commit wrong and illegal actions like using harsh, disparage or vulgar words, or beating up somebody. If the commanding or forbidding leads to more harm than benefit, then it should be avoided based on the principle of weighing between the benefits and harms.

It is also known in the medical arena that anger causes many health problems especially if they are not controlled. All shari’ah injunctions are for our benefit, even if we don't know them (as yet) but strive to follow them anyway. And our beloved Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, is our best example.

May Allah guide us all and grant us tawfiq. May Allah protect our youths. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

Wassalaam

related reading:

http://journey2allah.blogspot.com/2010/05/who-is-shepherd.html

http://journey2allah.blogspot.com/2010/05/true-shepherd.html

http://journey2allah.blogspot.com/2010/05/going-back-to-nature.html

The true enemy

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
السلام عليكم

I pray that you are well.

The tendency is when people say bad things about you or simply something you don't like to hear, you want to respond--to set it straight. There is no need because as for you what matters is what Allah think of you. Allah is the judge and He is just. Leave it to Him--He will make it right for you. So don't be sad or mad. Allah will reward you abundantly for being patient and for avoiding confrontation with your brother/sister. Remember, our enemy is the Shaytan, not our brother/sister.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, reminded us of Shaytan, "Beware of Shaytan, for your safety of your religion. He has lost all hope that he will ever be able to lead you astray in big things, so beware of following him in small things."

Shaytan does not care about causing dissension among the kuffar, he is concerned about the Muslims since he cannot make them non-believers, he is making them fight among themselves. He is always instigating this waswasa in the hearts of Muslims and causing fitnah among us.

A lesson from surah Yusuf when Ya'qub, Allah grant him peace, said to Yusuf, Allah grant him peace:
"He said, 'O my son, relate not thy vision to thy brothers, lest they devise against thee some guile. Surely Satan is to man a manifest enemy." Qur'an Yusuf 12:5

This is my personal story related to this topic--only in brief

A person of authority and high esteem hated me for none other than me being a Muslim woman. Suffice to say she was on a mission to destroy me. After you think she has exhausted all avenues to destroy me, she began another theory--she called me insane and someone with impaired cognitive functions. I was then had a successful career and led a systems project for a big company--so how could my cognitive functions be impaired! Alhamdulillah, I was not any of the two that she wanted people to believe.

But I knew I could not fight her at the time--I was alone and didn't have the right armor. So I waited 4 years and then fought back. How did I fought back? I immediately took the LSAT (law school entrance exam) and went to law school. I thought if I could not fight her from outside, I fight her from inside. And the only way for me to fight her from inside was to be an officer of the court (an attorney). Yes, she was a judge. After I graduated from law school, I fought her. I believe she was privately reprimanded and removed from office. La hawla wala quwwata illa billah. Throughout the four years, Allah helped me through my law school professors, some of them were judges. One of my teachers was a very wise and beloved federal court district judge and he said: "If your cognitive functions are impaired then all of ours are too, including hers. May God save us!" SubhanAllah!

So, we have bigger things to fight. Not squabbling between us. Like the cliche: what goes around comes around. Don't worry. Allah will aid you in ways unimaginable if you have believe and put all your trust in Him.

May Allah give us tawfiq. Ameen. Please don't forget me in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

Wassalaam