Don't Make Your Parents Angry

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

Be careful not to do anything to cause your parents to be angry or make your parents weep.

Narrated Anas ibn Malik, that Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, says,

Whoever has pleased his parents, he has pleased Allah and whoever has angered his parents, he has angered Allah.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, say,

Allah will not accept the prayers of the person whose parents are angry with him and their parents are not oppressors.

Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said,

Three supplications are answered without a doubt: the supplication of someone who is oppressed, the supplication of someone on a journey, and the supplication of parents for their children.

[Bukhari]

Abu Hurayra reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and grant him peace, say,

No human child has ever spoken in the cradle except for 'Isa ibn Maryam, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and the companion of Jurayj." Abu Hurayra asked, "Prophet of Allah, who was the companion of Jurayj?" The Prophet replied, "Jurayj was a monk who lived in a hermitage. There was a cowherd who used to come to the foot of his hermitage and a woman from the village used to come to the cowherd.

"One day his mother came while he was praying and called out, 'Jurayj!' He asked himself, 'My mother or my prayer?' He concluded that he should prefer the prayer. She shouted to him a second time and he again asked himself, 'My mother or my prayer?' He thought that he should prefer the prayer. She shouted a third time and yet again he asked himself, 'My mother or my prayer?' He again concluded that he should prefer the prayer. When he did not answer her, she said, 'Jurayj, may Allah not let you die until you have looked at the faces of the beautiful women.' Then she left.

"Then the village woman was brought before the king after she had given birth to a child. He asked, 'Whose is it?' 'Jurayj's,' she replied. He asked, 'The man in the hermitage?' 'Yes,' she answered. He ordered, 'Destroy his hermitage and bring him to me.' They hacked at his hermitage with axes until it collapsed. They bound his hand to his neck with a rope and took him along to the king. When he passed by the beautiful women, he saw them and smiled. They were looking at him along with the people.

"The king asked, 'Do you know what this woman claims?' 'What does she claim?' he asked. He replied, 'She claims that you are the father of her child.' He asked her, 'Where is the child?' They replied, 'It is in her room.' He went to the child and said, 'Who is your father?' 'The cowherd,' he replied. The king said, 'Shall we build your hermitage out of gold?' 'No,' he replied. He asked, 'Of silver?' 'No,' he replied. The king asked, 'What shall we build it with?' He said, 'Put it back the way you found it.' Then the king asked, 'What made you smile.' 'Something I recognised,' he replied, 'The supplication of my mother overtook me.' Then he told him about it.

[Bukhari]

Because of severity of disrespecting parents, it is quick to be punished and that punishment will come in this life, and one can expect punishment in the next life. Even Jurayj, one of the best worshippers of Allah, was not spared of the punishment in this life for causing his mother to be angry at him and he wasn't even doing something haram.

This is also a reminder of the power of du'a of parents. For parents, it is important for us to make regular and constant du'a for our children for their benefit in this life and the next life, and for children to ask their parents to make du'a for them. The du'a of parents will not be veiled from Allah Almighty.

Answer the calls of your parents--even if you are praying and cannot talk to them, there are ways you can indicate to them that you are praying. If your parents call you many times on the phone or send you repeated emails, and you did not answer, that could cause them distress and you should not let that happen. Obey your parents everything they ask you to do as long as no harm and there is nothing haram. Ask your parents gently if you need something. Always thank them if they give it to you, and excuse them if they do not, and never insist on a matter if they refuse to give you something.

May Allah protect us from the trial and tribulations of this life and the next, and save us from Hellfire. Ameen.

Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam

Children: How To Open The Doors of Paradise

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, told us that one of the signs of the end of time is that there would be much disrespect from children to their parents. This is very common nowadays and has become a global epidemic.

Many children don't realize that respecting their parents is an obligation upon them in the religion. Children raising their voices to their parents and children physically mistreating their parents have become apparent in many societies. These children don't even think that disrespecting or mistreating their parents is one of the worst sins that a person can gather for themselves, and they will be punished in this world before the next.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "Shall I tell you of the worst major sins? Worshipping others with Allah, showing disrespect to parents, giving a false statement, and testifying to the truth of a falsehood. " And he kept repeating it until we were telling ourselves (out of sympathy for him because of the strain of repeating it), "If only he would be silent.” [Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhi]

A story was told, a true story, that a man had bought an apartment from a Muslim man in a Muslim country. When he went to the apartment, there was an old woman in the apartment and he then learned that she was the mother of the Seller. He went back to the Seller and told him about his mother and the Seller said, "I sold you the house and my mother." The buyer gladly took the deal and took care of the old woman until she died 40 days later.

Don't think that you only nice to your parents because they are nice to you. Even if your parents are not fulfilling their obligations as parents, you still must fulfill their rights as parents.

It is reported that the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, has said,
"Whoever comes into the morning and both his parents are pleased with him, he comes into the morning with two doors of Paradise open to him. Whoever goes into the evening and both parents are pleased with him, he goes into the evening with two doors of Paradise open for him. And if he has just one parent, then one door of Paradise is open to him. Whoever comes into the morning and both his parents are angry with him, he comes into the morning with 2 doors of hellfire open to him. Whoever goes into the evening with both parents are angry with him, he goes into the evening with 2 doors of hellfire open to him. And if he has just one parent, then one door is open for him." After realizing this huge position of parents that the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, was telling the companions about, one of the Companions asked, "Even if the parents were oppressive to them?" The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, replied, "Even if they oppress the child, even if they oppress the child, even if they oppress the child."

Always, always, always, speak to your parents in a soft, gentle and noble manner as described in the Qur'an

وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا ﴿٢٣﴾ وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا ﴿٢٤

And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. (23) And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."

[Qur'an Al-Isra' 17:23-34]

Children should lower the wings of humility to their parents, whether it is giving them advice/nasiha or enjoining righteousness and forbidding evil. You cannot use force and harshness in teaching or advising your parents. If your parents don't like it and angered by it, leave it. It is one of the worst sins to make your parents angry.

Do not raise your voice over your parents. Stay calm. If you yell a lot, raise your voices, and are argumentative, they will get more excited. No matter how much you think you're right, usually your parent is right. Realize this, you are only a child, they have much more experience than you, and they are probably doing it to protect you. But it's hard realizing when you are arguing with your parents. Write this on your hand or wrist: "Work before play, theirs before mine, they know best." This will usually help you remember to do what they say.

Don't use bad language. Most people don't think bad language is cool, so do your parents. People who use bad language make them look stupid--your parents don't want you to look stupid.

Think before you speak. This means before you tell your mom/dad that they're stupid, or don't know what they are talking about, think about that. Do you know how to do half the things your parents know how to do? Like change oil in a car, or balance a checkbook, or file taxes, or all those grown up things? Probably not. So before you speak something rude, make sure you know what you're getting into.

Accept consequences. If your parents tell you to go to your room or take away your privileges because you talked back, accept it, don't argue, because chances are, you're wrong, and they're right. It's sad to say, but it's true. They are just trying to teach you skills you need to grow up.

Listening. You need to listen, listen, listen. Instead of throwing a tantrum, listen to what they have to say, and don't be stubborn to accept it. Think about it.

Honor your parents. Don't lie to them, and don't do any sneaky stuff, because they know what you're doing anyway, there's no way around it. Help them to build a wall of trust for you, but when you get it, don't let it fall down again.

Be grateful to your parents. Part of being grateful to your parents is to make a habit to make this du'a mentioned in the Qur'an for your parents after each prescribed daily prayer.

رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

"My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."

Your parents have raised you or is raising you whether you consider they have done a good job or not. That is up to their Lord to judge. But don't think it has been a breeze for them. Taking care of anybody requires a lot of patience and mercy. When you were just born, your mother could have flushed you down the toilet or bundle you up and leave you at the doorstep of an orphanage or give you away for adoption. But she didn't do any of that but went through many sleepless nights caring for you. And here you are, safe and sound. Learn the du'a above and make this du'a for them. When you make this du'a, some scholars said that you are also asking Allah to put in your heart mercy that you will be able to take care of them just as they were able to take care of you. Even if your parents didn't raise you, there is no harm for you to make this du'a.

Disrespecting your parents is a high matter indeed. If we hope for success in this life and the next, we should be nice to our parents and not make them angry. Listen to your parents and make them feel good. Get along with your family, especially with your brothers and sisters, and choose your friends wisely.

If you remember this golden rule, "Do as you would like to be done to you," you won't go wrong with your parents.

May Allah guide us and forgive our sins and have mercy on our parents and enter them into the highest Jannah. Ameen.

Please include us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam

Most Hated Places To Allah

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

Allah Almighty gives us intelligence and He gives us choices. But what do we see people do with their intelligence and their choices?

They go to the supermarket or convenient store, and there stood all kinds (color, shape, sizes) of beverages, chips, candy, gum, cookies, cereals, ice cream ... inviting them and their kids to pick them up. Many people can't resist the temptation and most people will succumb to their kids' wants.

Some people can't make quick, good decision. With items that have many brands, shapes, sizes, colors and so on, they had to go through each thing before they would make a decision. Even simple things like water, people had to spend a lot of time deciding which to buy. "What brand of bottled water should I buy?" -- Aquafina? Agua? Dasani? Evian? Arrowhead? Generic? 1 liter or 1.2 liter? 24 in a box or 12 in a box? with blue cap or white cap? If you have your children or your spouse with you, everyone have to go through the same process to make a choice! You see them spend 30 minutes trying to decide on one item. SubhanAllah. And they wind up loading different boxes of brand/sizes/shapes/color of bottled water onto the cart, because they can't decide and they haven't gotten to the main sections yet--meats, dairy, vegetables, fruits, breads, cleaning agents, soaps and detergents, beauty care, toiletries, ...

Because they are so many choices out there, people wind up spending hours to shop, even for simple things, not just in one store but they go from store to store just to shop. You see similar situation everywhere -- markets, mall, convenient store, clothing store -- both actual and online stores.

Having so many choices is blurring people's eyes. Some already blind. They waste their time in the stores and they make the wrong choices, while being heedless of the fact that the marketplace is the most hated place to Allah.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said:

The most beloved places on Earth to Allah are its mosques, and the most despised places on Earth to Allah are its markets.

[Sahih Muslim]

From all the places on Earth, Allah loves the mosques above all else. They fulfill the most important function. They are the places where those on Earth make contact with their Creator and Sustainer.

The marketplace is not "the most hated places on Earth to Allah" because of the buying and selling that goes on there but because of all the deception and fraud that goes on in the marketplace. The markets are places where false measure is given, and where every day false oaths are sworn. They are places of wastefulness, stinginess, avarice, wrangling, and disputation.

The mosque and the marketplace are both integral parts of society and it is permissible to engage in buying and selling. But, people must not allow their commerce distract them from the remembrance of Allah. There is harmony between the rights of this world and the rights of the Hereafter.

Allah Almighty says,

وَابْتَغِ فِيمَا آتَاكَ اللَّـهُ الدَّارَ الْآخِرَةَ ۖ وَلَا تَنسَ نَصِيبَكَ مِنَ الدُّنْيَا ۖ وَأَحْسِن كَمَا أَحْسَنَ اللَّـهُ إِلَيْكَ ۖ وَلَا تَبْغِ الْفَسَادَ فِي الْأَرْضِ ۖ إِنَّ اللَّـهَ لَا يُحِبُّ الْمُفْسِدِينَ ﴿٧٧

But seek, through that which Allah has given you, the home of the Hereafter; and [yet], do not forget your share of the world. And do good as Allah has done good to you. And desire not corruption in the land. Indeed, Allah does not like corrupters." (77)

[Qur'an al-Qasas 28:77]

Don't get stuck with Aquafina or Agua or Dasani or Evian or Arrowhead. There are better things in life we can do with our time. Use the intelligence that Allah bless us with to make the right choices--those are choices that can take us to eternal bliss.

If you like mineral or bottled water, remember, in the Hereafter, Allah has reserved 2 Gardens with 2 springs in both of them for those who feared the position of his Lord. Nothing of the best waters in this world matches the waters and drinks in Paradise. So choose.

وَلِمَنْ خَافَ مَقَامَ رَبِّهِ جَنَّتَانِ ﴿٤٦﴾ فَبِأَيِّ آلَاءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ ﴿٤٧﴾ ذَوَاتَا أَفْنَانٍ ﴿٤٨﴾ فَبِأَيِّ آلَاءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ ﴿٤٩﴾ فِيهِمَا عَيْنَانِ تَجْرِيَانِ ﴿٥٠﴾ فَبِأَيِّ آلَاءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ ﴿٥١﴾ فِيهِمَا مِن كُلِّ فَاكِهَةٍ زَوْجَانِ ﴿٥٢

But for he who has feared the position of his Lord are two gardens - (46) So which of the favors of your Lord would you deny? - (47) Having [spreading] branches. (48) So which of the favors of your Lord would you deny? (49) In both of them are two springs, flowing. (50) So which of the favors of your Lord would you deny? (51) In both of them are of every fruit, two kinds. (52) So which of the favors of your Lord would you deny? (53)

[Qur'an Ar-Rahman 55:46-52]

To avoid doing wasting time in the store and buying something you don't need, have a shopping list before you shop and don't buy thing on impulse.

Related Archives:
Most Loved and Hated Places by Allah

May Allah guide us and save us from heedlessness. Ameen.

Please include us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam

Whoever Loves Allah...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

The objective of loving Allah is that He is pleased with you. Have you ever seen someone loves someone except that he strives to obtain his pleasure? The slave finds pleasure and sweetness in drawing near to Allah. This is a direct result of the diligence that the slave exercises in seeking the pleasure of Allah.

The sign that the slave loves Allah is to love obedience to Allah. He becomes passionately attached to the remembrance of Allah. His tongue never becomes feeble of it nor does his heart become void of it. Indeed, he who loves something constantly remembers it and when he remembers that thing he becomes attached to it. Also he is pleased with what he is afflicted with in the path of his beloved (i.e. Allah), instead he doesn’t even consider it. This is primarily due to the fact that he knows this is what his beloved (i.e. Allah) intended. So it becomes the most adored thing to him due to the fact that it encompasses the pleasure of his beloved, even if it includes obliteration of his own self.
Wise sayings:

Whoever loves Allah, then he finds himself preoccupied with the worship of Allah, prostrating and bowing and if he doesn’t have the ability to do so, he suffices himself with remembering Allah with his tongue along with praising Him. And if he doesn’t have the ability to do this, he remembers Him in his heart and contemplates about His magnificence. The one whom Allah loves, He gives him gentleness like that of the ocean and compassion like that of the sun when it sets and humility like the earth.

The highest level of loving Allah is to cut yourself off from everything that will distance you from Him, all for the sake of your Lord, to seek intimacy with Him with your heart, intellect and the rest of your limbs. Make your love of Him firm in your heart so that you give nothing precedence over it. If you are fortunate enough to reach this point, then it won’t matter to you if you were on land or at sea or in ease or difficulty!

The lowest level of love is to find delight in the one you love while in seclusion with Him. Whoever considers sleep and talking business to be more pleasurable to him than seclusion with Allah, then how could his claim to love Allah be genuine.

May Allah love us and help us to know Him and love Him. Ameen.

Please include us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam

Love To Meet Allah

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

It is well known that if you fall in love with someone, you have this throbbing desire to meet the person, and see the person and sit with the person alone. So, it cannot be imagined that the heart can love Allah except that it desires to meet Him and see Him and be with Him. An ardent desire to meet Allah is a high and elevated station that emerges from a strong love of Allah. We ask Allah to make our hearts only for Him.

Narrated 'Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit, that the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said:

Whoever loves to meet Allah, Allah will love to meet him, and whoever hates to meet Allah, Allah will hate to meet him." Aisha or one of his wives said: "But we all dislike the idea of death." He said, "It is not what you are thinking. When death approaches the believer and he is given the news of Allah's pleasure and honor, nothing will be more dear to him than what lies ahead of him, so he will love to meet Allah and Allah will love to meet him. But when death approaches the disbeliever and he is given the news of Allah's wrath and punishment, nothing will be more disliked by him that what lies ahead of him, so he will hate to meet Allah and Allah will hate to meet him."

(Bukhari)

It is well known that if you love someone, the person's speech is the most beloved thing to you. If you want to know if your heart contains love of Allah, then look at the love of the Qur’an, the Divine Speech, in your heart. Loving Allah is loving the Qur’an, and loving the Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and grant him peace, is acting upon his Sunnah.

Allah Almighty says,

قُلْ إِن كُنتُمْ تُحِبُّونَ اللَّـهَ فَاتَّبِعُونِي يُحْبِبْكُمُ اللَّـهُ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّـهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ ﴿٣١

Say, [O Muhammad], "If you should love Allah, then follow me, [so] Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful."
(31)

[AleImran 3:31]

May Allah increase our love for Him and His beloved Messenger, Allah bless him and grant him peace, and make our meeting with Him the best of meetings. Ameen.

Please include us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam