In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum
Dear Friends
I pray that you are well.
Allah and His Messenger sallallahu alayhi wassallam guided and commanded the righteous believing wife to be devoutly obedient to the commands of her husband.
Allah says in the Qur'an,
ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنْ أَمْوَٰلِهِمْ ۚ فَٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتُ قَـٰنِتَـٰتٌ حَـٰفِظَـٰتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُ ۚ وَٱلَّـٰتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلْمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا۟ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًۭا ﴿٣٤[Qur'an, An-Nisa 4:34]
Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand. (34)
But what if you are put in a situation that what your husband is asking you means disobeying Allah. Who should you obey? The answer is easy if you know who is greater. Allahu Akbar.
Allah's Messenger sallallahu alayhi wassallam said, "A creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the Creator."
It is categorically forbidden for the believers to obey any command from anyone in creation if it involves disobedience of the Lord.
Regardless of whosoever it may happen to be, be it one’s elders, or even one’s own parents or one’s husband, etc, if the command or order they give is against the Command and Guidance of Allah and His Messenger sallallahu alayhi wassallam that unlawful command of theirs will be rejected and not obeyed in the least.
If one’s husband (or anyone else in creation) commands one’s wife to bow down, or invoke, or worship a deity other than Allah or they command their wife to stop wearing the ‘hijaab’, or they command their wife to leave her obligatory fasts or prayers, or they command their wife to lie, cheat, steal, kill, etc, the wife is not to obey such unlawful commands of her husband, if indeed she fears Allah and the Last Day; for such commands are absolutely against the Commands and Guidance of her Lord Creator.
Given that, I know of no husband who doesn't want his wife to look pretty. In fact, if you always look shabby, your husband will be more tempted to look elsewhere. But if looking pretty entails to disobedience of Allah, then the wife should stay away from it and if the husband wants her to do it, then she should not obey him. Disobeying your husband does not mean you get into arguments or fights. There are ways to disobey without getting into arguments or fights. Almost all women are endowed with certain charm so that she can get their way with their husbands....you may use that same charm in this situation as well. Most of the time you will win in this too. Allah will help those who are sincere.
A lot of times, women just want to look pretty outside. And this create fitnah, especially for men, and lead to immorality.
Shari’ah came to forbid the ways that lead to immorality, one of which is looking at non-mahram women.
Allah says,
قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا۟ مِنْ أَبْصَـٰرِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا۟ فُرُوجَهُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَزْكَىٰ لَهُمْ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ خَبِيرٌۢ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ ﴿٣٠[Qur'an, An-Nur 24:30]
Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do. (30)
Women should cover themselves properly and conceal their adornments outside or in the presence of non-mahrams.
وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَـٰتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَـٰرِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا ۖ وَلْيَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلَىٰ جُيُوبِهِنَّ ۖ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا لِبُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ ءَابَآئِهِنَّ أَوْ ءَابَآءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَآئِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَآءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ إِخْوَٰنِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِىٓ إِخْوَٰنِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِىٓ أَخَوَٰتِهِنَّ أَوْ نِسَآئِهِنَّ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَـٰنُهُنَّ أَوِ ٱلتَّـٰبِعِينَ غَيْرِ أُو۟لِى ٱلْإِرْبَةِ مِنَ ٱلرِّجَالِ أَوِ ٱلطِّفْلِ ٱلَّذِينَ لَمْ يَظْهَرُوا۟ عَلَىٰ عَوْرَٰتِ ٱلنِّسَآءِ ۖ وَلَا يَضْرِبْنَ بِأَرْجُلِهِنَّ لِيُعْلَمَ مَا يُخْفِينَ مِن زِينَتِهِنَّ ۚ وَتُوبُوٓا۟ إِلَى ٱللَّهِ جَمِيعًا أَيُّهَ ٱلْمُؤْمِنُونَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ ﴿٣١[Qur'an, An-Nur 24:31]
And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed. (31)
This is a command from Allah to His believing slaves to lower their gaze and refrain from looking at that which is forbidden to them. So they should not look at anything except that which they are permitted to look at, and they should lower their gaze and refrain from looking at forbidden things. If it so happens that a person’s gaze accidentally falls upon something forbidden, he should quickly avert his gaze. [Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 3/282]
Allah says:
... وَإِذَا سَأَلْتُمُوهُنَّ مَتَـٰعًا فَسْـَٔلُوهُنَّ مِن وَرَآءِ حِجَابٍ ۚ ذَٰلِكُمْ أَطْهَرُ لِقُلُوبِكُمْ وَقُلُوبِهِنَّ ...[Qur'an, al-Ahzaab 33:53]
...And when you ask [his wives] for something, ask them from behind a partition. That is purer for your hearts and their hearts...
Women should stay away from tattooing any part of their bodies or removing eyebrow hairs or creating a space between teeth.
Narrated by Abdullah: Allah has cursed those women who practice tattooing and those who get themselves tattooed, and those who remove their eye-brow hairs, and those who create a space between their teeth artificially to look beautiful, and such women as change the features created by Allah. Why then should I not curse those whom the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam has cursed? [Bukhari]
When the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wassallam has invoked the curse of Allah on the women who remove or shape their eye-brow hairs, absolutely regardless of how much one’s husband (or anyone or anything else in creation) desires it, the wife should categorically reject such an unlawful command of her husband, if indeed she fears Allah and the Last Day.
Obedience to the command of our loved ones (be it our elders, parents, or husband, etc.) is and should always be and remain subservient to the Commands of Allah and His Messenger salallahu alayhi wassallam.
If we trust, obey, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger sallallahu alayhi wassallam, we can be assured of never ever being misled; but if we believe, obey and follow any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger sallallahu alayhi wassallam, we can be assured of being led astray.
وَمَا كَانَ لِمُؤْمِنٍ وَلَا مُؤْمِنَةٍ إِذَا قَضَى ٱللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُۥٓ أَمْرًا أَن يَكُونَ لَهُمُ ٱلْخِيَرَةُ مِنْ أَمْرِهِمْ ۗ وَمَن يَعْصِ ٱللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُۥ فَقَدْ ضَلَّ ضَلَـٰلًا مُّبِينًا ﴿٣٦[Qur'an, al-Ahzaab 33:36]
It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly strayed into clear error. (36)
May Allah aid us and make us His obedient servants. Ameen.
Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassallam.
Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.
And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam
No comments:
Post a Comment