بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum
The first verses of Surah Kahf reveal the story of a few young men striving in the disbelieving town in order to sustain their faith. They took refuge in cave and were rewarded by Allah’s mercy with the entire town converted into believers.
The moral of this story is trial of faith. The youth were tested and succeeded. We too are being tested. How to survive? Keep righteous company and don't follow the heedless. Allah Most High tells us,
وَاصْبِرْ نَفْسَكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ يَدْعُونَ رَبَّهُم بِالْغَدَاةِ وَالْعَشِيِّ يُرِيدُونَ وَجْهَهُ ۖ وَلَا تَعْدُ عَيْنَاكَ عَنْهُمْ تُرِيدُ زِينَةَ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا ۖ وَلَا تُطِعْ مَنْ أَغْفَلْنَا قَلْبَهُ عَن ذِكْرِنَا وَاتَّبَعَ هَوَاهُ وَكَانَ أَمْرُهُ فُرُطًا ﴿٢٨
And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them, desiring adornments of the worldly life, and do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever [in] neglect. (28)
[Qur'an, Al-Kahf 18:28]
The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) was reportedly asked: “Which of our companions are best?” He replied: “One whose appearance reminds you of Allah, and whose speech increases you in knowledge, and whose actions remind you of the hereafter.” [Al-Musahibi]
Who do we spend the most time with? Chances are for many of us, they are our friends. If you are married, then your spouse and his/her family/friends are a big part of the circle. Friends are the people we share things with, talk to regularly, and experience a large part of our life with. This is why the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “A person is on the religion of his companions. Therefore let every one of you carefully consider the company he keeps.” [Tirmidhi] That is why it is critical to choose a good and righteous spouse because he/she and his/her family, relatives and friends will automatically enter your circle of companions, albeit positively or negatively.
An integral part to gaining tranquility of the heart is to be mindful of our surroundings and the people we spend most of our time with. Is it any wonder that we find our hearts perturbed, when it was reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “Do not speak much without mentioning Allah, for too much speech without mentioning Allah hardens the heart, and the hardhearted are the farthest of all people from Allah Most High.” [Tirmidhi]
We need to be mindful of this because part of the reason for our lack of khushoo’ (devotion) in salah (prayer) is precisely because the time spent between prayers is spent in heedlessness. While wudhu' (ablution) and prayer wash away our minor sins, at times our hardened hearts prevent us from truly tasting the sweetness of prayer, due to the fact that we hardly remember Allah, Exalted is He, outside of prayer.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) reminds us of the importance of good company in this hadith (record of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam: “A good companion and a bad companion are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace.” [Bukhari, Muslim]
Most of us know this hadith, but we rarely see it from the perspective of gaining tranquility of the heart. We may have amazing friends whom we have shared much with, yet we have not developed spiritually with them. When things go wrong in our life, we turn to people for advice but we are not reminded of the ultimate Source of Peace—as-Salaam [Allah]. Thus we need to try to create an environment. We can start with something simple, such as waking each other up for Tahajjud and Fajr (the pre-dawn prayer), or starting a book club by reading something about the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) and share the information we read.
If we start here, we could be of the people who are under the shade of Allah on the Day of Judgment, as the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) told us that one of the seven categories of people promised the shade of Allah are two persons who loved each other for the sake of Allah Most High, got together, and departed on this basis. [Bukhari, Muslim]
Good companions who prioritize their relationship with Allah will help us on the spiritual path. It is easier to pray and to do our everyday acts of worship because we have company to help us. Even when we face difficulties, these friends will support us; ultimately they will remind us of Allah during these tests and help us to rely on Him. No one is perfect, and this is why it is important to be around people who want to improve themselves, and in the process will help you to improve yourself too. Ibn Hazm stated: “Anyone who cares about your friendship is willing to criticize you, while those who make light of your faults show they do not care.” Allah Most High reminds us of this in Surah Al-Kahf, when He says:
"And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance..." [Qur’an, Al-Kahf 18:28]
When we are faced with a problem, wouldn't we want such friends? But due to circumstances outside our control, we don’t have that tight-knit group of people that help us on our path to Allah. Does that mean we will never be able to achieve tranquility of the heart? No, because Allah does not test us with more than we can bear, and truly we get what we intend. The first thing we should try to do is be that friend to others. If we find that we do not have religious people around us, then we should try to influence our environment. This does not mean being over-bearing; rather, we should try to make our existing friendships more meaningful. The Lebanese poet, Khalil Gibran, said, “Let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.” And the harder it is, the more our effort is appreciated by Allah.
Secondly, we should constantly seek avenues where we will meet such people. Whether it’s at a local masjid, or driving for an hour to attend a talk, this effort on our part shows that we are serious in trying to follow the advice and guidance of the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace).
Thirdly, du`a is key. We should never forget that when we recite, “You alone do we worship, and You alone do we seek for help,” [Qur’an, Al-Baqarah 1:5] we are essentially reminding ourselves that we cannot do anything except through seeking the help of Allah. So if you truly desire good companion and friends who remind you of your Creator and the purpose He created you, you should ask the One who possesses the hearts to bring you closer to hearts that remember Him often.
May Allah grant us righteous companions. Ameen.
Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam.
And Allah knows best and is Most Wise, and He alone grants success, and to Him is the final return of all.
Wassalaam
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