بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
A lot of times children are taught the external deeds...fast, pray, hijab, etc. and not much emphasis on the internal. It is very important to combine the external deeds with the spiritual aspect.
Teach your children at a young age who is Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala. Let them learn the Names and Attributes of Allah, the purpose of life, the existence of the Hereafter, the Paradise and the Hellfire. Teach them the seerah of the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace), the stories in the Quran and the lessons that that can be extracted from those stories.
If you want your children too love Allah you must lead by example. Children learn from their parents like no one else. They are influeneced by your words and your actions, more than your words. You should create an environment in the home of loving Allah, connecting your children to the meanings of Quran, implementing the Quran, motivating them with love, hope, mercy and compassion, showing them the Prophetic manners in your dealings with your parents, your neighbor, and other people. Ultimately we want our children to have love and consciousness of Allah wherever they are. If our children fast, pray or wear hijab out of fear because the parents presence, what happens when parents are not around.
If you instill the love of Allah and consciousness of Allah in the hearts from a young age and do not wait until later, you will find, inshaa Allah, this will be with them wherever they go.
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ قُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا ٱلنَّاسُ وَٱلْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَـٰٓئِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُونَ ٱللَّهَ مَآ أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ ﴿٦
O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded. (6) O you who have disbelieved, make no excuses that Day. You will only be recompensed for what you used to do. (7)[Quran At-Tahrim 66:6-7]
As parents, we strive, we seek knowledge, we do our best, we make du'a, we forebear, and exercise beautiful patience. How our children turn out to be is in the hands of Allah. If they turn out wonderful, that is the destiny of Allah and we thank Allah. If they turn out bad, that too is the destiny of Allah and we are patient. We don't despair.
But we must do our part and we struggle and keep struggling. We don't deafen our ears to the teachings of Islam and we don't blind our eyes to the disobedience of our children and their bad or immoral actions. If we do, we can't get comfort to our eyes (qurrata a'ayun) from our children, but fuel of the Fire.
Your children are chained to you. If they go down, they will drag you down with them.
وَٱلَّذِينَ إِذَا ذُكِّرُوا۟ بِـَٔايَـٰتِ رَبِّهِمْ لَمْ يَخِرُّوا۟ عَلَيْهَا صُمًّا وَعُمْيَانًا ﴿٧٣﴾ وَٱلَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَٰجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّـٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَٱجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا ﴿٧٤
And those who, when reminded of the verses of their Lord, do not fall upon them deaf and blind. (73) And those who say, "Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous." (74)[Quran, Al-Furqan 25:73-74]
We should be avid farmers of this world and constantly sow the seeds. If you plant the seeds of guidance in the hearts of your children, do you not think Allah is generous enough to allow those seeds to bear good fruit?
May Allah help us raise our children well, bless them, and make them among the righteous and a joy to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, and save us and our families from Hellfire. May Allah guide us and enable us to lead by example. Ameen.
Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam.
And Allah knows best and is Most Wise, and He alone grants success, and to Him is the final return of all.
Wassalaam
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