Make Time For Your Parents

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

All religions and cultures around the world teach that respecting parents is a fundamental lesson of good character. We have all heard about it, and know it, and believe that we follow it. But do we really? If we really did follow this fundamental tenet of being a good human being, then there would be no old folks nursing homes, and no 60, 70 and 80-year-olds working and laboring for their survival. We won't see ungratefulness and arrogance from children to their parents, despite the gift of their very existence.

If you want Paradise, make time for your parents, be grateful to them, give them the best treatment, make du'a for them, and don't even say "uff" (the slightest expression of disrespect, includes showing any kind of irritation, rudeness, or anger towards them) to them.

As you get older, you are so busy with your own lives (my job, my kids, my investments, my meetings...my, my...), that you barely have time with your parents.

In Surah Al Ahqaf, Allah is giving strong counsel to you in regards to your parents, especially those who have reached forty, and reminds you of your mother's pain and suffering bearing you, giving birth to you, feeding and weaning you. Allah says,

وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ بِوَ‌ٰلِدَيْهِ إِحْسَـٰنًا ۖ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُۥ كُرْهًا وَوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهًا ۖ وَحَمْلُهُۥ وَفِصَـٰلُهُۥ ثَلَـٰثُونَ شَهْرًا ۚ حَتَّىٰٓ إِذَا بَلَغَ أَشُدَّهُۥ وَبَلَغَ أَرْبَعِينَ سَنَةً قَالَ رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِىٓ أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ ٱلَّتِىٓ أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَىَّ وَعَلَىٰ وَ‌ٰلِدَىَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَـٰلِحًا تَرْضَىٰهُ وَأَصْلِحْ لِى فِى ذُرِّيَّتِىٓ ۖ إِنِّى تُبْتُ إِلَيْكَ وَإِنِّى مِنَ ٱلْمُسْلِمِينَ ﴿١٥﴾

And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims." [Quran, Al Ahqaf 46:15]

Forty is supposed to be the age of maturity and the eminence of death is donning upon you. Some people say this is when "mid-life crisis" begins. Allah is teaching you to supplicate for youself and your parents, and for your children/offspring. In the Day of Judgment, Allah will ask you how did you raise your kids. As a result of your lack of proper Islamic upbringing of them, they raised their children inappropriately in disobedience to the Creator. So, you ask Allah to make your children and offspring righteous for your sake.

أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ ٱلَّذِينَ نَتَقَبَّلُ عَنْهُمْ أَحْسَنَ مَا عَمِلُوا۟ وَنَتَجَاوَزُ عَن سَيِّـَٔاتِهِمْ فِىٓ أَصْحَـٰبِ ٱلْجَنَّةِ ۖ وَعْدَ ٱلصِّدْقِ ٱلَّذِى كَانُوا۟ يُوعَدُونَ ﴿١٦

Those are the ones from whom We will accept the best of what they did and overlook their misdeeds, [their being] among the companions of Paradise. [That is] the promise of truth which they had been promised. (16) [Quran, Al Ahqaf 46:16]

وَٱلَّذِى قَالَ لِوَ‌ٰلِدَيْهِ أُفٍّ لَّكُمَآ أَتَعِدَانِنِىٓ أَنْ أُخْرَجَ وَقَدْ خَلَتِ ٱلْقُرُونُ مِن قَبْلِى وَهُمَا يَسْتَغِيثَانِ ٱللَّهَ وَيْلَكَ ءَامِنْ إِنَّ وَعْدَ ٱللَّهِ حَقٌّ فَيَقُولُ مَا هَـٰذَآ إِلَّآ أَسَـٰطِيرُ ٱلْأَوَّلِينَ ﴿١٧﴾

But one who says to his parents, "Uff to you; do you promise me that I will be brought forth [from the earth] when generations before me have already passed on [into oblivion]?" while they call to Allah for help [and to their son], "Woe to you! Believe! Indeed, the promise of Allah is truth." But he says, "This is not but legends of the former people" - ... [Quran, Al Ahqaf 46:17]

Being good to your parents is an obligation. It is obligated by Allah in a unique way. In more than one place in the Quran, Allah talks about the obligation of respecting the parents right after He talks about the obligation of Tawheed.

وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوٓا۟ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلْوَ‌ٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـٰنًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا ﴿٢٣

And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, excellent treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.” [Quran, Al-Isra 17:23-24]

May Allah make us of the righteous and make our children and offspring righteous and have mercy on us and and our parents and help us be excellent to our parents. Ameen.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam.

And Allah knows best and is Most Wise, and He alone grants success, and to Him is the final return of all.

Wassalaam