Humility and Gentle Speech

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

In Surah Ta-Ha, Allah Most High instructed Prophet Musa and Prophet Harun to go to Fir'aun and speak to him with gentle speech. Allah Almighty says,

ٱذْهَبْ أَنتَ وَأَخُوكَ بِـَٔايَـٰتِى وَلَا تَنِيَا فِى ذِكْرِى ﴿٤٢﴾ ٱذْهَبَآ إِلَىٰ فِرْعَوْنَ إِنَّهُۥ طَغَىٰ ﴿٤٣﴾ فَقُولَا لَهُۥ قَوْلًا لَّيِّنًا لَّعَلَّهُۥ يَتَذَكَّرُ أَوْ يَخْشَىٰ ﴿٤٤﴾

Go, you and your brother, with My signs and do not slacken in My remembrance. (42) Go, both of you, to Pharaoh. Indeed, he has transgressed. (43) And speak to him with gentle speech that perhaps he may be reminded or fear [Allah]." (44) [Quran, Ta-Ha 20:42-44]

Sometimes we find Muslims teaching Islam in such harsh and arrogant way that they turn people away from the Truth not because of the Truth but because of their harshness and arrogance. Where was that knowledge that they should benefit from the mannerisms of people of knowledge? Where is that knowledge when they read the Quran and Allah is telling Musa to speak to Fir'aun with gentle speech? Why can't a Muslim that come to another Muslim have even more gentleness -- neither the first person is better than Musa nor the second person is worse than Fir'aun.

The average Muslims want to be righteous and good but one of the main impediments is the vibe that they get from their version of people of religion. The negativities, harshness and bad manners of these people turn them away from the religion. You are never truly religious unless it is demonstrated in your good mannerisms. You don’t have knowledge if you are not humble with people. This means the knowledge is of no use to you. The greatest of man was the one who was humble with people.

The Quranic message is very clear. It is about akhlaq (character). When speaking with people speak with gentle and soft manner. Do not raise your voice and yell at them. Sadly so many people who think they have discovered faith, that they treat people who they presume who have no faith or have little knowledge with such crudeness and they turn people off. This is not the Message of Quran and definitely it is not found in the Seerah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. We should not be a trial for othe people to abandon the religion because of our false sense of piety. If you are treating people arrogantly, even if they are sinners, your arrogance is a bigger sin than the personal vices that they are commiting in their private lives so long as it is not shirk.

Allah preserved Luqman's advice to his son in the Quran to teach us good character and how to speak. Allah says,

وَلَا تُصَعِّرْ خَدَّكَ لِلنَّاسِ وَلَا تَمْشِ فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ مَرَحًا ۖ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتَالٍ فَخُورٍ ﴿١٨﴾ وَٱقْصِدْ فِى مَشْيِكَ وَٱغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ ٱلْأَصْوَ‌ٰتِ لَصَوْتُ ٱلْحَمِيرِ ﴿١٩

And do not turn your cheek [in contempt] toward people and do not walk through the earth exultantly. Indeed, Allah does not like everyone self-deluded and boastful. (18) And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys." (19) [َQuran, Luqman 31:18-19]

Knowledge comes with a lot of arrogance if it is not practiced in a correct way. The most arrogant people are those with a lot of knowledge or wealth when it is not checked with akhlaq (character). That's why they belittle people, they call people names, they don't have value for someone and they don't see the good of that person. They cancel people out. If that was the way the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam taught us, we have to cancel everyone out because each one of us is flawed.

Most of what you have studied is going to be for yourself and only a few percent of it is going to be teaching others unless you are a specialized teacher. We need to be humble. People don't like people who are arrogant. To be able to practice what you learn and to teach others with the best of akhlaq is very important. What's the point of having so much of knowledge but Allah hasn't given you the acceptance to be able to convey the knowledge just because you haven't even thought of working on your own character and the condition of your heart. You have to discipline yourself. Of course we make mistakes as we are human. But you have to apologize when you have gone wrong. If you can't reach out to others with humility, they are not going to want what you have. You don't have to be a graduate from somewhere, or have a MA or PHd, to be accepted as a messenger. Sometimes people who have graduated with these degrees have a little bit of arrogance. Sometimes Allah may not accept those who have big degrees. The fact that you have those high degrees, it does not necessarily make you a person of knowledge and it does not confirm that you are an ignorant person.

May Allah grant us good manners and remove our arrogance. Aameen.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam.

And Allah knows best and is Most Wise, and He alone grants success, and to Him is the final return of all.

Wassalaam