Ramadhan 1442 Day 14 -- Forgiving Others For Your Healthy Mind, Body and Soul

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate 

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam.  

Forgiving is to stop hoping for the past didn't happen. 

Our focus is not simply in how much we pray, although that has its place. Rather we are so focused on gaining the pleasure of Allah that people’s wrongs against us are insignificant. This is why Allah described the believers as,

وَٱلَّذِينَ يَجْتَنِبُونَ كَبَـٰٓئِرَ‌ ٱلْإِثْمِ وَٱلْفَوَ‌ٰحِشَ وَإِذَا مَا غَضِبُوا۟ هُمْ يَغْفِرُ‌ونَ ﴿٣٧

And those who avoid the major sins and immoralities, and when they are angry, they forgive, (37)

[Quran, ash-Shu’ara 42:37].

Many of us can't forgive our parents or people close to us when they say hurtful things in anger. We hold grudges for years, unable to forget the things people have done to us. On the one hand, we feel justified in feeling this way. After all, we are the ones wronged.

It is natural to be upset at someone when they've hurt you. The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) told us that a Muslim is not allowed to break off ties with another Muslim for more than 3 days, recognizing that we need time to cool off. Yet what is unhealthy, and often destructive, is the inability to forgive and move on.

The inability to forgive affects us spiritually and psychologically, and has a detrimental effect on our health. One study showed that people who focused on a personal grudge had increased blood pressure and heart rates, as well as increased muscle tension and feelings of being less in control. Participants in this study were asked to imagine forgiving their wrongdoers, and they said they felt more positive and relaxed and thus, the changes disappeared.

Forgiving means not carrying a grudge in your heart against that person. Forgiving means that if you were given the chance to retaliate, you would choose not to. Forgiving means not wishing evil, even if secretly, upon the person. It means you can continue to be civil towards them, and that you can even bring yourself to pray for their well-being and guidance.

Forgiveness does not mean that you cannot learn from the trial. It doesn’t mean that the person did not do wrong, nor does it justify what they did. If you trusted someone and they betrayed your trust, forgiveness does not mean that you have to trust them again if they haven’t given you reason to. You are able to treat them well, without resentment in your heart, but if you learned something about their character, you should keep that in mind when dealing with them.

Forgiveness is not for the weak. Being able to forgive those who have wronged you is a mark of spiritual strength and confidence. When you forgive, you grow, your heart begins to heal, your back straightens up, your eyes clear so that you can see the road ahead.

It doesn’t matter if the other person deserves forgiveness or not. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. If someone has hurt you, don’t worry about receiving an apology or explanation, or making them understand you. You’ll rarely get an explanation that makes sense. In fact, if you want to move on, the best way to do that is to forgive.

Resentment is a chain that binds you to the other person, but forgiveness breaks the chain, so that you can release that person along your anger.

Anger is a spiritual sickness; but when you forgive you become healthy--mind, body and soul.

In ancient Chinese thought, the state of forgiveness is like a wide, deep valley. That’s because it opens your mind and allows your thoughts to flow freely, while anger constricts your mind and makes you blind.

When we are preoccupied with the wrongs others have committed against us, we lose focus of one of the most beautiful ways to get closer to Allah. The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said:

“There was a merchant who used to extend credit to people. If he found one of his customers to be in straightened means, he would say to his assistants: “Forgive them their debt, perhaps Allah will forgive us.” Allah did forgive him.” [Bukhari/Muslim]

There is a direct correlation between the ways we treat others and how Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) treats us. We all know the Prophet’s (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) famous saying “Have mercy on those on the earth, and the One in heaven will have mercy on you” [Tirmidhi].

Of course, Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) is incomparably greater and more merciful than us. Therefore, whatever we do for others, Allah will multiply that for us. If we are sincere in wanting Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) to forgive us for our many slip-ups and sins, we should be prepared to do that for others.

We are not being asked to condone what others have done to us, but rather we should acknowledge that they have hurt us and it was wrong. We should reflect on why this was hurtful, what may have been the motives of the person who hurt us, and what we should learn. And then we should move on, because we cannot change the past, but we can certainly use it to empower ourselves and become better people, inshaa Allah.

When we take the step to learn from a hurtful experience, we should be able to prevent ourselves from doing the same to others. Many times we condemn what we do ourselves- we are hurt that someone has spoken behind our backs, but we backbite all the time. We feel slighted when we are not appreciated by our parents, but never once did we recognize and thank others for the things they do for us. This introspection should help us to gain greater clarity into our own dealings with people.

Forgiving others teaches us empathy. When we let go of anger, we can better understand those who are put in the same situation that we were in previously. Sometimes it helps us to not demonize the person who hurt us; the specific thing that they did may have been bad, but when we step back, we sometimes learn that they have their own baggage that caused them to act in a certain way. This is not to condone what they did, but it is to enable us to see that the world is not always so black and white.

خُذِ ٱلْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ‌ بِٱلْعُرْ‌فِ وَأَعْرِ‌ضْ عَنِ ٱلْجَـٰهِلِينَ ﴿١٩٩

Hold to forgiveness, command what is right, and turn away from the ignorant.

(Quran, Al-A'raf 7:199]

In other words be constantly forgiving but don’t give up your principles (“command what is right”). If you’ve forgiven the ignorant and they persist in their hurtful ways, then move on and leave them behind. Separate yourself from those who are negative, and seek the company of people who are supportive and kind. Hold no rancor. When you lay your head on the pillow, sleep in peace, and you’ll wake up with tranquility.

The Messenger of Allah (sallaAllahu ‘alayhi wasallam) was sitting with a group of sahabah (radhiAllahu anhum) in the masjid and he said “A man will now enter who is from the people of Paradise” and a sahabi walked in. He (sallaAllahu ‘alayhi wasallam) did this for 3 days, and every time, it was the same person who entered the masjid. Abdullah bin ‘Amr ibn al-'Aas (radi Allahu anhuma) wanted to know what quality this man possessed that made the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) say that about him, so he spent three nights with that man. 'Abdullah noticed that the man didn’t do anything out of the ordinary - he didn’t fast all the time, he slept some of the night, he didn’t pray tahajjud and so on. So after the 3 days, 'Abdullah told him the real reason why he requested to stay with him - that he was singled out to be from the people of Paradise and wanted to know why - and he asked him what it was that could be the reason why he was from the people of Jannah. The man replied: “My deeds are nothing more than what you saw”. When 'Abdullah left, he called him back in and said: “My deeds are nothing more than what you saw, but every night, before I go to sleep, I forgive whoever has wronged me. I remove any bad feelings towards anyone from my heart.” Thereupon ‘Abdullah said to him: “This difficult quality to obtain is what granted you this rank”. [Ahmad]

That is what it means to be true believer.

We can learn forgiveness from our small children or grandchildren. Even when you made mistakes to them, their love flow like a mountain stream, no grudges whatsoever. No one forgives with more grace than a child, and no one forgives more fully and perfect than our Lord, the All-Merciful, the All-Wise.

May Allah give us the strength to forgive others for their faults and grant us well-being in this life and the next. Ameen.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam. 

And Allah knows best and is Most Wise, and He alone grants success, and to Him is the final return of all. 

Wassalaam

Ramadhan 1442 Day 14 -- Don't Despair Of Allah's Mercy

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate 

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam. 

Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala says,

قُلْ يَٰعِبَادِىَ ٱلَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا۟ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا۟ مِن رَّحْمَةِ ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ ٱلذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا ۚ إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلْغَفُورُ ٱلرَّحِيمُ ‎﴿٥٣﴾‏ وَأَنِيبُوٓا۟ إِلَىٰ رَبِّكُمْ وَأَسْلِمُوا۟ لَهُۥ مِن قَبْلِ أَن يَأْتِيَكُمُ ٱلْعَذَابُ ثُمَّ لَا تُنصَرُونَ ‎﴿٥٤﴾‏

 

Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." (53) And return [in repentance] to your Lord and submit to Him before the punishment comes upon you; then you will not be helped. (54) (Quran, Az-Zumar 39:53-54)

 

May Allah forgive all our sins and accept all our good deeds this Ramadhan. Aameen.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam. 

And Allah knows best and is Most Wise, and He alone grants success, and to Him is the final return of all. 

Wassalaam

Ramadhan Day 10 -- Engrossed Ourselves With The Quran

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate 

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam.

The Quran is the manual for Paradise. Those who engrossed themselves with the Quran, it is going to satisfy them. Quran is unsurmountable because it is the words of Allah and it is infinite.

The Quran is food for the spirit (ruh) but other things, like music, is generally food for the soul (nafs). The nafs can be mischievous and evil. 

Those who really get to understand the Quran, they won't need other things because the Quran will satisfy the soul and spirit. Once the person gets beyond that learning level, and once the person gets to understand the Quran, in shaa Allah the benefits will be directly for the spirit.

The bounties of the Quran cannot be counted. The greatest is the Divine enablement to understand Quran.

May Allah bless us with the love of the Quran so that we can in shaa Allah benefit from it.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam. 

And Allah knows best and is Most Wise, and He alone grants success, and to Him is the final return of all. 

Wassalaam

Ramadhan Day 1 -- Remove Jealousy, Increase Charity

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate 

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam. 

Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.

If you desire that someone lose his blessings or that blessings be bestowed on you as well, this is envy. To envy is an expression of displeasure at the distribution of Allah. The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "As fire destroys fuel, so envy destroys virtues."

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "Every possessor of any blessing is envied." Someone of means, will have someone who envies him for what he possesses. Even two street sweepers will envy one another. The one who pulls his cart on his own will envy the sweeper who has a donkey.

The Qur'an teaches us to seek refuge in Allah from the evil of the envier when he envies.

قُلْ أَعُوذُ بِرَبِّ الْفَلَقِ ﴿١﴾ مِن شَرِّ مَا خَلَقَ ﴿٢﴾ وَمِن شَرِّ غَاسِقٍ إِذَا وَقَبَ ﴿٣﴾ وَمِن شَرِّ النَّفَّاثَاتِ فِي الْعُقَدِ ﴿٤﴾ وَمِن شَرِّ حَاسِدٍ إِذَا حَسَدَ ﴿٥

Say, "I seek refuge in the Lord of daybreak (1) From the evil of that which He created (2) And from the evil of darkness when it settles (3) And from the evil of the blowers in knots (4) And from the evil of an envier when he envies." (5)

[Qur'an 113:5]

Envy is injurious for the envier in this world and the next, but no harm reaches the envied person, rather it benefits him. The envied person if backbited will get the virtues of the envious person.

Stop being jealous of other people. Replace this bad trait by being generous and giving. A Muslim is avid in searching for the needs of others and always giving. Ask yourself, 'What do I have that everyone wants?' Also, don’t worry about others being better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between you and your self only.

Ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both) reported:

The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and grant him peace, was the most generous of the men; and he was the most generous during the month of Ramadan when Jibril visited him every night and recited the Qur'an to him. During this period, the generosity of Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and grant him peace, waxed faster than the rain bearing wind.

[Bukhari and Muslim]

There is a special gate to Paradise for the charitable believer. Imagine the blissful life beyond that gate.

This is one opportunity in Ramadhan to get you to the gate. Please don't forget to pay your zakat fitrah (obligatory charity payable in Ramadhan). Every member of your family has to pay this charity, including children and babies. It must be paid anytime in Ramadhan and before the time of Eid prayer.

If you don't have any poor relatives or don't know any student of (Islamic) knowledge or any poor Muslim or don't have a mosque in your area to distribute the zakat to the rightful recipients, there are many Islamic and masjid websites where you can pay online for your convenience. Don't wait till the last minute to do this. You don't want to be left behind.

May Allah remove any jealousy in our hearts, increase us in our provision, spiritually and physically, and make our spending for His sake easy. Ameen.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam. 

And Allah knows best and is Most Wise, and He alone grants success, and to Him is the final return of all. 

Wassalaam

What Is Your Legacy?

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate 

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam. 

The people who reach the highest place in Jannah left a legacy of righteous progeny and positive impact in their communities 

When we die, we want to leave a legacy. Our legacy consists of two parts -- family and community

Once we die, all of our deeds are cut off except for three  -- sadaqah jariah, knowledge, and children. The du'a of the righteous at the end of a long list of traits of the muttaqeen in Surah Al Furqan is summarized as "give us spouses and progeny that is going to bring happiness to our souls." 

When will the righteous be happy? When they are righteous themselves, their families are righteous, have good manners and akhlaq,  and establish themselves as good role models.

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

And those who say, "Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous." (Quran, Al Furqan 25:74)

When your children have excelled in this world and the religion, demonstrating that they have iman and taqwa, have good families and successful in their careers, you will look at them with comfort and happiness. They become the qurratu 'ayun.

The believer does not make du’a and then do nothing. Du’a is the prerequisite of action. So, the believer will strive and prioritize his family (spouse and children) to make sure they are upon righteousness. This is the legacy you should aim for and you spend your entire life working for it. And the reward is the highest chambers in paradise.

أُولَٰئِكَ يُجْزَوْنَ الْغُرْفَةَ بِمَا صَبَرُوا وَيُلَقَّوْنَ فِيهَا تَحِيَّةً وَسَلَامًا

Those will be awarded the Chamber for what they patiently endured, and they will be received therein with greetings and [words of] peace. (Al Furqan  25:75)

May Allah grant us righteous families and make us good role models and grant us the highest Jannah. Aameen.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam. 

And Allah knows best and is Most Wise, and He alone grants success, and to Him is the final return of all. 

Wassalaam

Prepare For Ramadhan, The Month Of The Quran

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate 

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam

Ramadhan is the month of the Quran. May Allah enable us to reach Ramadhan this year.

شَهْرُ رَمَضَانَ الَّذِي أُنزِلَ فِيهِ الْقُرْآنُ هُدًى لِّلنَّاسِ وَبَيِّنَاتٍ مِّنَ الْهُدَىٰ وَالْفُرْقَانِ ۚ فَمَن شَهِدَ مِنكُمُ الشَّهْرَ فَلْيَصُمْهُ

The month of Ramadhan [is that] in which was revealed the Qur'an, a guidance for the people and clear proofs of guidance and criterion.  (Quran, Al Baqarah 2:185)

Quran is the Truth we should prepare to receive. 

The Truth is not in need of people but  people are in need of the Truth. We need to adjust ourselves to the Truth. Many of us are very fake in the lives that we live. When we look at our own selves, the nafs is the ultimate imposter.  It is only to the extent that we overcome the fakeness of our souls, which wants us to cling to this world, that we open up our heart to the Truth, and we start to embrace that Truth and we start to live by that Truth, and little by little that someone becoming as-Siddiq. After Prophets, the greatest rank we can attain is As-Siddiqqun. 

We should spend most of our time this Ramadhan with the Quran. 

We should strive to have connection to the Quran seriously—to start learning the meanings and the vocabulary,  so the meanings start opening up to us. 

We should try to recite at least one juz a day this Ramadhan and get at least one khatam before Ramadhan is over. Those who are used to read a juz a day, increase it to 2 juz a day and get 2 khatams in Ramadhan. 

There are also other verses and chapters of the Quran as well, that we should have recite regulalry because of the special benefit in them like al-Sajda [32], al-Mulk [67], al-Waqi'ah [56] and the last two verses of al-Baqarah [2:285-286], every night before going to sleep. Al-Dukhan [44] on Sunday Thursday evenings, and al-Kahf [18] on Thursday nights and Fridays. Read, if you can, the Seven Saving Ones (Surahs al-Sajda, Yaa-Sin [36], al-Dukhan, al-Waqi'ah, al-Hashr [59], al-Mulk, al-Insaan [76]) every night, for their merits are great. Also mornings and evenings the first few verses of Surah al-Hadid [57], the last few verses of Surah al-Hashr [59], Surah al-Ikhlas [112] three times and the two refuge-taking Surahs three times each; similarly, al-Ikhlas and the last two Surahs [al-Falaq 113, An-Naas 114] together with Ayatul-Kursi verse [2:255] and Surah al-Kafirun [109]

May Allah make us of the Siddiqqun. May Allah make the Quran the spring of our hearts and the removal of our distress and concerns. May Allah make its recitation be made easy for us. May Allah enable us to dedicate our lives to the Quran and dedicate our lives to service of the Quran and live the meanings of the Quran.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam.

And Allah knows best and is Most Wise, and He alone grants success, and to Him is the final return of all.

Wassalaam