بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
These verses consistently emphasize the importance of being dutiful
and kind to parents, highlighting gratitude, care, and humility towards
them, especially during their old age.
And your Lord has decreed that
you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one
or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much
as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. [Quran, al-Isra' 17:23]
And We have enjoined upon man [care] for
his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon
weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your
parents; to Me is the [final] destination. (14)
But if they endeavor to make you
associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them
but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow
the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will
be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do. [Quran, Luqman 31:14-15]
And We have enjoined upon man
goodness to parents. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me
that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your
return, and I will inform you about what you used to do. [Quran, Al-Ankabut 29:8]
And We have enjoined upon man,
to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and
gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period]
is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and
reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be
grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my
parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make
righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and
indeed, I am of the Muslims." [Quran, Al-Ahqaf 46:15]
And [recall] when We took the
covenant from the Children of Israel, [enjoining upon them], "Do not
worship except Allah; and to parents do good and to relatives, orphans,
and the needy. And speak to people good [words] and establish prayer and
give zakah." Then you turned away, except a few of you, and you were
refusing. [Quran, Al Baqarah 2:83]
Worship Allah and associate
nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the
needy, the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away, the companion at
your side, the traveler, and those whom your right hands possess.
Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful. [Quran, An-Nisa 4:36]Despite
the clear Quranic guidance emphasizing kindness and respect towards
parents, many children may not heed these commands due to a combination
of social, psychological, cultural, and individual factors. Here are
some reasons why this may happen:
1. Changing Social Values: In
modern societies, individualism and personal autonomy are often highly
valued. These values can sometimes conflict with the traditional
expectations of family responsibilities, leading some children to
prioritize their independence over caring for their parents.
2.
Generational Differences: Generational gaps in perspectives, values, and
experiences can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts between parents
and children. Technological advancements and societal changes can
create differences that make it difficult for children to relate to
their parents’ worldview.
3. Lack of Religious Awareness: Many
children may not have a strong understanding of or connection to their
faith, resulting in a lack of awareness or appreciation of the Islamic
teachings on being good to parents. This can happen if religious
education is not prioritized or if the family environment does not
foster a deep understanding of these values.
4. Negative
Experiences: Sometimes, children may have experienced difficult or even
traumatic relationships with their parents. In cases where parents have
been abusive, overly controlling, or neglectful, children may find it
emotionally challenging to follow these commands, despite the teachings.
5.
Cultural Norms and Influences: In some cultures, emphasis on individual
success, career, or lifestyle can lead to children placing their
personal ambitions above their responsibilities to their parents. The
influence of peer groups and media can also promote lifestyles that do
not align with the concept of family care and respect for parents.
6.
Miscommunication or Lack of Emotional Bond: Poor communication or lack
of an emotional bond can make it hard for children to fulfill their
duties towards parents. If children do not feel a close connection or
understanding, they may become distant and neglect their
responsibilities.
7. Economic Pressures: In some cases, economic
pressures can create tension. Children who are struggling to manage
their careers, finances, or their own families might feel overwhelmed,
making it difficult to provide the level of support their parents need.
8.
Influence of Modern Lifestyles: The fast-paced nature of modern life,
along with the influence of social media and technology, can sometimes
lead to children becoming more self-centered or distracted. The hustle
culture often means less time is dedicated to relationships, including
that with parents.
9. Lack of Positive Role Models: If children
do not see positive examples of caring for parents in their environment,
it may not be a priority for them. Seeing others, including extended
family or friends, neglecting their responsibilities towards their
parents can normalize such behavior.
10. Emotional Detachment in
Upbringing: If parents did not foster a loving, nurturing environment
while raising their children, the bond required for later care and
kindness may be weak. Emotional detachment in upbringing can hinder the
natural inclination towards showing gratitude and care.
To
address these issues, a holistic approach is needed. Strengthening
religious education, fostering emotional bonds from an early age,
addressing generational differences with empathy, and creating a culture
of respect and care for elders are all steps that can help bridge this
gap. A conscious effort towards understanding the value of parents and
making family responsibilities a priority can foster a more balanced
approach to fulfilling these Quranic commands.
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