BismillahirRahmanirRahim
Assalaamu alaykum
I pray that you are well.
When Hafsah, Allah be very pleased with her, became widowed, her father, Allah be very pleased with him, offered her hand to 'Uthman, Allah be very pleased with him, but 'Uthman said he was not thinking about marriage again. The he went to Abu Bakr, Allah be very pleased with him, and offered same but he was silent. 'Umar took the silence as a rejection. He took this very personal, very upset and complained to the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace. And the Prophet responded Hafsah will marry someone better than them. You can imagine the euphoria of a father to have the Prophet to be his son-in-law! Beyond his wildest dream! SubhanAllah.
We cannot have our daughters marry a prophet but we help our daughters marry righteous men. But righteous men look for righteous women. A righteous men want a wife who would be good to him, who would bring him closer to Allah, who would be a good mother for his children. And this criteria only exist in a righteous woman. This apply to our sons as well--if we want our sons to have a righteous wife and a good mother for our grandchildren, our sons themselves have to be righteous.
Part of raising our children well is we have to think long term--long term here is not saving money for their college education or prepare them for the highest college education, but who they are going to marry and bring forth generation of good Muslims--our offspring. Do we want our offspring 30, 40 or 50 years from now say this to their friends or someone they just met wearing hijab: "You know my parents were Muslims, or my grandparents were Muslims." Allah! What about him/her? If this person were your offspring talking, you would be rolling in your grave! May Allah protect us from this and have mercy on us.
However, this is a sad reality--I have heard comments like this among the people I know who came from generations of Muslims but they don't practice or worse they don't identify themselves as Muslims. Inna lillahi wainna ilaihi ra ji'un. Who is responsible for this? Perhaps you don't think it will happen to you? But don't think you are an exception--just look around you, look at what we are exposing our children to, what we are giving our children to help them learn and practice Islam--everything except love of Islam, love of Allah and His Messenger, Allah bless him and grant him peace. We, as parents, are responsible to make sure we teach our children Islam (#1 priority) so they know their responsibility, they don't become fitnah for the opposite gender, so when they have children, they can teach their children and their children can teach their children and so on. Otherwise Islam will be lost in their lives and we are responsible if we do not put our utmost effort now.
I was with a few beautiful young girls the other day at the masjid. They were the ones who would always approached me and gave salaams to me and hugged me the moment they saw me. I always teased them about how they look and always comment on their dress or hijab. Their hijabs were usually showing their hair and they sometimes wore tight jeans or pants. I usually corrected them and they listened and fixed whatever they could fix. But it is the same again the next time I saw them and again I corrected them....and again and again! That day, I had to be a little serious about it. I said to them after telling them how great they were for coming to the masjid and I was always happy to see their cheerful selves and how much I want them to be successful and for Allah to love them. They listened and smiling. While I was fixing one of the girls' hijab, I said to them. If you all want to marry a good man you have to start putting hijab not just at the masjid. If I were to look for a wife for my sons, first, I would be looking for a full time hijabi who wear hijab since puberty. Then I asked them: If my sons want to marry someone who doesn't wear hijab, do you think I will let them?
Reflect on these verses:
"And say to the believing women, that they cast down their eyes' and guard their private parts, and reveal not their adornment save such as is outward; and let them cast their veils over their bosoms, and not reveal their adornment save to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husbands' fathers, or their sons, or their husbands' sons, or their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or what their right hands own, or such men as attend them, not having sexual desire, or children who have not yet attained knowledge of women's private parts; nor let them stamp their feet, so that their hidden ornament may be known. And turn all together to God, O you believers; haply so you will prosper." Qur'an An-Nur 24:31
"Corrupt women for corrupt men, and corrupt men for corrupt women; good women for good men, and good men for good women -- these are declared quit of what they say; theirs shall be forgiveness and generous provision." Qur'an An-Nur 24:26
"Decked out fair to men is the love of lusts -- women, children, heaped-up heaps of gold and silver, horses of mark, cattle and tillage. That is the enjoyment of the present life; but God -- with Him is the fairest resort. Say: 'Shall I tell you of a better than that?' For those that are godfearing, with their Lord are gardens underneath which rivers flow, therein dwelling forever, and spouses purified, and God's good pleasure. And God sees His servants who say, 'Our Lord, we believe; forgive us our sins, and guard us against the chastisement of the Fire' -- men who are patient, truthful, obedient, expenders in alms, imploring God's pardon at the daybreak." Qur'an AleImran 3:14-17
"And the believers, the men and the women, are friends one of the other; they bid to honor, and forbid dishonor; they perform the prayer, and pay the alms, and they obey God and His Messenger. Those -- upon them God will have mercy; God is All-mighty, All-wise" Qur'an At-Tawbah 9:71
May Allah help us to raise our children well and guide us all to excellence. Ameen. Please keep us in your night prayers. Please forgive me for my shortcomings. Jazakallahu khairan.
And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam
