Insulting

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

Most people who insult other people are insecure, some are immature. They think that it will make them feel better if they put someone else down, or they think it will take attention off of themselves. Mature people should be able to communicate with others without insulting them. Matters can be discussed between mature adults without fighting or insulting each other.

The best way to handle an insult is to ignore it, because what the immature person wants is to make you upset. Walking away is always best because the immature person is not going to change and suddenly stop acting immature. If the person insulting you is someone you want to keep as a friend, you might say something like, "That really hurts when you say something like that. Can we talk without insults?" - this lets them know that they need to change their behavior, and if they are friends, they will want to change and mature.

It is impermissible to insult another person. The second party has the right to get back, but it is superior to forgive.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Those who insult each
other, what they say is upon the one who started, so long as the one wronged does
not go beyond the limits.”

Imam al-Nawawi comments on the hadith, “Its meaning is that the sin of the
insulting that took place between two people is specifically for the one who
started, unless the second goes beyond the extent of getting back, saying more to
the one who started than he said to him."

Allah Most High says:

وَلَمَنِ انتَصَرَ بَعْدَ ظُلْمِهِ فَأُولَـٰئِكَ مَا عَلَيْهِم مِّن سَبِيلٍ

"And whoso defend himself after he has suffered wrong - for such, there is no way (of blame) against them” (Qur’an Ash Shura 42:41)

وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا أَصَابَهُمُ الْبَغْيُ هُمْ يَنتَصِرُونَ

“And those who, when great wrong is done to them, defend themselves.” (Qur’an Ash Shura 42:39).

Despite this, patience and forgiveness is more virtuous.

Allah Most High says,

لَتُبْلَوُنَّ فِي أَمْوَالِكُمْ وَأَنفُسِكُمْ وَلَتَسْمَعُنَّ مِنَ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ وَمِنَ الَّذِينَ أَشْرَكُوا أَذًى كَثِيرًا ۚ وَإِن تَصْبِرُوا وَتَتَّقُوا فَإِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ‌

"You will surely be tested in your possessions and in yourselves. And you will surely hear from those who were given the Scripture before you and from those who associate others with Allah much abuse. But if you are patient and fear Allah - indeed, that is the matters determining factor in all affairs." (Qur’an AleImran 3:186)

“Allah does not raise a servant by forgiving except in triumph.”

Remember, do lots of istighfaar as we ourselves are not free from sins, and this could be our punishment. [“Astaghfirullah” – “I seek Allah's forgiveness.”
or “Astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilaik” – “I seek Your forgiveness and return unto You."]

One of the benefits of istighfaar provides relief from hardships and eases grief.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "If anyone continually asks pardon, Allah will appoint for him a way out of every distress, and a relief from every anxiety, and will provide for him from where he did not reckon." (Abu Dawud)

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: “There is (at times) some sort of shade upon my heart, and I seek forgiveness from Allah a hundred times a day.” (Muslim)

May Allah protect us from the calamity of our tongues and other's tongues. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. JazakAllahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam