In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum
Dear Friends
I pray that you are well.
How to be happy?
Happiness is relative and not determined by objective factors, but by how you feel inside.
You probably were happier when you were making $1000 a month as a part-time teaching assistant in college then than now making $150,000 as a computer engineer of a company, where you are putting 13-15 hours a day at work and on your computer again at home, until 2 in the morning, trying to complete your work or meet a project deadline. Although you may have a much higher purchasing power, that you can buy a lot more of things, but what kind of life is that? How can you be happy?
Likewise, you probably be happier making $300 a month in Cairo where your neighbors are making $150 a month, than making $150,000 a year in Beverly Hills where your neighbors are making much more, double, triple or to the millions.
Happiness is also relative to your expectations.
People often overestimate the misery they will experience after a marital breakup, losing a job or a promotion, contracting an illness, or when your mother says NO to you for wanting to marry someone you like.
People also overestimate the pleasure they will get from graduating from high school or law school or having a PhD, buying a nice car, getting a promotion, buying a house or moving to the coast with ocean and mountain views, being accepted to a prestigious college or college program, getting married to someone you love, having a baby boy, your ball team winning, and so on.
So, lower your expectations about the pleasure you'll get from things of this world. Things of this dunya are always accompanied with problems, worry and bitterness even though they appear outwardly to be pleasurable.
Avoid consumerism. The things you own do come to own you. Consumerism leads to unhappiness. We don't need much to be happy. Unfortunately, people have been programmed from birth to see through the lens of consumerism. One way to start deprogramming is to view this documentary, Century Of The Self, and then sell or give away many of your possessions and, more importantly, drastically change your purchasing patterns.
Develop the habit of gratitude. First and foremost, be thankful to Allah for everything--for the gift of life and for maintaining and sustaining you.
وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ ۖ وَلَئِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِى لَشَدِيدٌ ﴿٧
And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, 'If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.' " [Qur'an Ibrahim 14:7]
Everything in your life is a blessing--good or bad. Even the little or big effort you have put to attain what you have attained was a blessing from Allah. Spend time reflecting on these blessings throughout the day. And at the end of each day, write down 10 things you are grateful for: the roof over your head, the blessing of safety, the blessing of health, the taste of cheesecake, the taste of cold sugar cane juice or the breeze of cool air in the hot summer, the ability to go to the bathroom, having a brother or sister, the sickness, the divorce, losing your iphone...and so on. I am sure you can list more than 10 and if you want to do so, go right ahead, and for each one, say La illaha illallah wa Allahu Akbar or SubhanAllah or send blessings to the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, or any dhikr of Allah. It may sound childish, but it works.
Find your purpose and live it. Islam gives you a sense of meaning and purpose. Finding motivating purpose is crucial to happiness. You will find the happiest person are those who have relationship with Allah. They are happy even when they don't have the things that you want. And they are happier than you will ever be even when you get the things that you want. This is because Allah creates happiness in the heart of the servant when he attaches his heart to Allah. We think otherwise because we are distracted by dunya, other people, shaytan and our lusts, desires and ego (nafs).
Happiness will not come from reading this article or any other articles you find on the internet. Happiness will come when you do the things that are recommended. Remember knowledge is only a small part of our life. The biggest part is action, which include constantly turning to Allah in repentance and du'a.
May Allah grant us happiness in this life and the next and save us from the punishment of the Hellfire. Ameen,
Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.
And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam
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Pleasure and Pain
Why Are You Not Happy?
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