In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum
Dear Friends
I pray that you are well.
Unity is very important in any society, any group and any organization in order to achieve the goals of that particular entity. The small phrase, "united we stand, divided we fall" conveys a big message -- the message of unity.
Islam commands unity among its followers.
Allah Almighty says,
... وَاعْتَصِمُوا بِحَبْلِ اللَّـهِ جَمِيعًا وَلَا تَفَرَّقُوا[Qur'an AleImran 3:103]
And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided...
Praying in congregation (and Friday prayers, Eid prayers, etc.) is an example of advocacy of unity. Gathering of millions of Muslims every year in Makkah for performing Hajj in the lunar month of Dhulhijjah and performing Umrah at other times is one of the greatest examples of unity being commanded by Islam.
This unity of Muslims is something which worries the enemies of Islam. But the irony is that Muslims remain unaware of their lack of unity, even in their own families. Either we are unaware of our lack of unity or we do not care about it, in either case, we stand on the losing end.
Lack of unity among Muslims is one of the biggest issues that needs to be resolved by Muslim society. If a Muslim society is considered to be a body, then its unity is its health. And the reasons which do not let the unity stay firm are like the different diseases which attack the body and affect its health. There are lot of such diseases spreading at a rapid pace and if not treated at an appropriate stage, may prove to be fatal for the body (i.e. Muslim society).
Family unity represents the cornerstone of a thriving Muslim community. The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, was always kind to his family members, he joked often with them, spent time recreationally with them and always advised them to enjoin good and ward off evil. He reminded them often that he cared for them very much and loved them dearly, invoking Allah to bless his family as much as Allah had blessed him. He often gave them gifts, was just in distributing presents, and even visited family members and sent gifts to the friend's of his deceased wife, Khadijah, indicating that he maintained good relationships with her family and friends even after her passing.
Family relations are just one of the many blessings that humans are allowed and encouraged to enjoy on Earth, illustrating the importance of good family relations as a glimpse of heaven. In fact, it is said that a loving home is like heaven on Earth.
However, in today’s modern society, with time constraints and stress, amongst other challenges, good family relations tend to fall apart, leaving the Muslim family in shambles and the obstacles to building a strong nation even more challenging than before.
Many modern families consist of two working parents, leaving very little time for the family to recuperate from long hours away from each other – not only for the sake of the children, but also for the working parent’s respective parents themselves.
In some cases, families are divided geographically, with children studying or working abroad, depending on the circumstances. This can cause family relations to become even more strained and good family relations difficult to achieve.
Make an effort to spend quality time as a family. For busy families that are often apart for long hours of the day, making that extra effort to spend quality time together is important. Praying together, enjoying dinner together and reciting Qur'an together is a simple way to spend quality time together.
Share positive stories with your family. It is a good way to strengthen family relations. A strong family is one that communicates well, does not judge, or make assumptions about the well-being of the other family members.
Spend time engaging in activities of interests with your family. As long as such activities do not contradict Islam, family members should find activities of mutual interests to cultivate a strong relationship with each other. This invitation can and should also involve other family members, such as grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. This way, individuals are able to enjoy what they do best, in the company of those who care about them the most. Activities can range from attending to religious classes, participating in charity runs, doing volunteer work, library visits, enjoying sporting events, etc.
Make arrangements for social gatherings is another way to strengthen family ties. Whether it is a weekly get-together at the park or a monthly BBQ it is a great way to meet up with family members and catch up with each other; and also allows individuals to release stress and recount the most important blessings that Allah has bestowed upon them.
Use technology to your advantage. For families that are divided geographically, whatsapp/viber, facebook, skype, email and blogs are just a few ways to keep in touch – this type of communication is seamless, borderless and easy to use. Bear in mind, however, some platforms are launched publicly, and it is still important to respect privacy between family members. Thus, it pays to be vigilant when using certain applications to keep in touch. Even with a geographical divide, it is important to maintain mutual respect and trust between family members. Obviously, not everyone is privy to such technological advancements, and in this case, there is nothing like rekindling traditional values through traditional means of communication such as letter-writing, phone calls, and of course, planning scheduled visits way ahead of time.
Forgive and move on. Anger, jealousy and general misunderstanding do not come from good sources; thus it is useless to build a relationship based on these acts. Even in the worse sort of misunderstanding, Muslims need to peruse a certain level of civility between each other, especially with family members, and to maintain mutual respect for each other, no matter how different opinions are.
Strengthen your relationship with your Lord. Sometimes family relationships can become strained due to disagreements, misunderstandings or arguments. It is important to resolve these issues. The first step is to turn to Allah for guidance. If a person continuously submits to Allah and invokes His mercy, he or she will have his or her heart filled with mercy, peace and patience in dealing with problems – even family problems.
Muslims need to concentrate on building healthy family ties within their single unit, extending the same to their larger web of family members; this, in turn, solidifies the grounds of the nation and its future. Keeping good company, including supportive family members is just one of the many intangible blessings that Allah has bestowed upon believers, and the best way to show gratitude is love and cherish the same people in the same family unit.
It is an obligation upon every Muslim to uphold and keeping the bond of kinship. Allah the Almighty imposes on us to save not only ourselves and our family from the Punishment in which means that a good family can help us evade the Hell Fire of a miserable eternity.
Allah Almighty says,
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَائِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُونَ اللَّـهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ ﴿٦[Qur'an At-Tahrim 66:6]
O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded. (6)
Severing the ties of kinship is a major sin. Allah Almighty says,
فَهَلْ عَسَيْتُمْ إِن تَوَلَّيْتُمْ أَن تُفْسِدُوا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَتُقَطِّعُوا أَرْحَامَكُمْ ﴿٢٢﴾ أُولَـٰئِكَ الَّذِينَ لَعَنَهُمُ اللَّـهُ فَأَصَمَّهُمْ وَأَعْمَىٰ أَبْصَارَهُمْ ﴿٢٣[Qur'an Muhammad 47:22-23]
Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship?[] (22) Such are they whom Allah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight. (23)
Allah’s Messenger, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said,
The most virtuous behavior is to engage those who sever relations, to give to those who withhold from you, and to forgive those who wrong you.[At-Tabarani]
The past is gone, the future is ahead, but the present is on our feet. So let’s use our time properly and usefully and help unite the Ummah, starting with strengthening our own family unit. Don’t wait for tomorrow, as it may never come.
May Allah guide and unite the Ummah. Ameen.
Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.
And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam
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