Cultivating Good Manners

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

In these era when too many people around us lack good manners and ethics, we should reflect on the life of the best creation, our Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam), and try to emulate his good manners.

If you want to see good manners, you have to look at the Prophetic example (sallallahu alayhi wasallam). With that you should read the Qur'an attentively because the Qur'an details the character that is pleasing to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala.

Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) described the Prophetic character, "The Prophet's character was the Qur'an."

Every virtue that is expressed in the Qur'an, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam possessed it in the most perfect. The basis of the tremendous character of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam was his gentleness with his ummah and his honoring them. This is part of proper manners. In general we strive to uphold gentleness with people. They return to mercy.

"The merciful is granted mercy by the Merciful."

Once Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) was asked how was the character of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, she recited the first ten verses of Surah al-Mu'minun.

قَدْ أَفْلَحَ ٱلْمُؤْمِنُونَ ﴿١﴾ ٱلَّذِينَ هُمْ فِى صَلَاتِهِمْ خَـٰشِعُونَ ﴿٢﴾ وَٱلَّذِينَ هُمْ عَنِ ٱللَّغْوِ مُعْرِ‌ضُونَ ﴿٣﴾ وَٱلَّذِينَ هُمْ لِلزَّكَو‌ٰةِ فَـٰعِلُونَ ﴿٤﴾ وَٱلَّذِينَ هُمْ لِفُرُ‌وجِهِمْ حَـٰفِظُونَ ﴿٥﴾ إِلَّا عَلَىٰٓ أَزْوَ‌ٰجِهِمْ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَـٰنُهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ غَيْرُ‌ مَلُومِينَ ﴿٦﴾ فَمَنِ ٱبْتَغَىٰ وَرَ‌آءَ ذَ‌ٰلِكَ فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْعَادُونَ ﴿٧﴾ وَٱلَّذِينَ هُمْ لِأَمَـٰنَـٰتِهِمْ وَعَهْدِهِمْ رَ‌ٰ‌عُونَ ﴿٨﴾ وَٱلَّذِينَ هُمْ عَلَىٰ صَلَوَ‌ٰتِهِمْ يُحَافِظُونَ ﴿٩﴾ أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْوَ‌ٰرِ‌ثُونَ ﴿١٠

Certainly will the believers have succeeded: (1) They who are during their prayer humbly submissive (2) And they who turn away from ill speech (3) And they who are observant of zakah (4) And they who guard their private parts (5) Except from their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they will not be blamed - (6) But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors - (7) And they who are to their trusts and their promises attentive (8) And they who carefully maintain their prayers - (9) Those are the inheritors (10)

[Qur'an, Al-Mu'minun 23:1-10]

The Prophet's character sallallahu alayhi wasallam was named tremendous because he had no concern except Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala Himself. His sole motive was Allah. Everything he did was for Allah Himself. Even in the littlest things he manifested excellence and beauty. This is excellence and beauty in conduct is summarized in one verse of the Qur'an:

خُذِ ٱلْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ‌ بِٱلْعُرْ‌فِ وَأَعْرِ‌ضْ عَنِ ٱلْجَـٰهِلِينَ ﴿١٩٩

Be easy going, uphold the good, and turn away from the ignorant. (199)

[Qur'an, Al-A'raf 7:199]

May Allah remove our blameworthy traits and replace them with praiseworthy traits and grant us and our family and loved ones noble character and righteousness. Ameen.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam.

And Allah knows best and is Most Wise, and He alone grants success, and to Him is the final return of all.

Wassalaam