بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
I pray that you are well.
Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser--in fees, expenses, and waste of time ... Never stir up litigation. A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
--Abraham Lincoln.
This is one of the American ideals--don't fight with your neighbors--that the America's forefathers taught us. But we already have this built in in Islam except do we all practice it?
The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "Jibril alayhissalaam kept enjoining on me the rights of the neighbor until I thought that he would give him a share in the inheritance." We should honor and take extreme care of our neighbors. It is reported that 'Umar ibn al-Khattab, Allah be well pleased with him, said: "If a man is praised by his neighbor, relatives and companions, then do not doubt his righteousness.
When you are nice to your neighbors, they will become your ally--they don't feel you are strange anymore, and it makes your life much easier. One of the ways to break the ice and one of the best ways to win their hearts is to send your neighbors gifts once in a while, even if it is something small. Your neighbors will be easy with other Muslims and perhaps they will defend us, Muslims, when we are under attack. The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, gave gifts to the new Muslims after the Battle of Hunayn to soften their hearts. There is something about gifts that melt people's heart.
My neighbors are one example. When we first moved here about 3 years ago, I delivered gifts to all my neighbors. They had looked at me very strange at one time--my kids and I were the Muslims around. They were surprised with the gifts but I told them it is my Islamic tradition. Thereafter, once a month or so, I would bake banana bread and when I was not too busy and had more time, I would bake oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, and had my children delivered them to my neighbors, typically on Friday and they were told it was our "holy" day. For my neighbor facing my kitchen, except in a few instances, I would send my neighbor what I cooked because I knew they could taste the food from the aroma coming out of the chimney.
My family is the only Muslim family in the neighborhood but I could count on my neighbors to help me if I need them inshaAllah. Whenever I traveled, my adjacent neighbors took their own initiative to watch over my house and made sure that my gardener did his job and one of my neighbors would turn off my sprinklers during rainy season. When I was abroad for almost a year, my next door neighbor was especially helpful. When my electricity bills were unprecedentedly high, more than what it was when we were living in the house, I knew something was not right. My neighbor, as busy as she was with her family and business travels, between her husband and her, resolved the issue for me. Among other things, they discovered the AC was on and some windows were opened! One of my neighbors had emailed me about a fire that broke out at a nearby marine base and she advised me to run the AC to circulate the air in the house. One of my Muslim friends who had keys to my house and to my automobiles did that for me but inadvertently forgot to close the windows and turn off the AC and so the high utility bills! When I needed something from my client's file while I was abroad, my neighbor spent hours searching for the documents, scanned and emailed them to me (this was a huge favor she did for me), but she did not mind this at all. My neighbors are always welcomed to knock at my door at any time, and they did so every so often to say hello, and they too would not mind us knocking at their doors at any time and sometimes I did, to borrow tools but often the man of their houses would voluntarily do the work that I needed to borrow the tool for. During the Southern California fires in the first year we live here, my neighbors who did not leave the area would check up on us every day and night to make sure we were alright and if we need anything.
These are my neighbors who Allah blessed me with and I hope yours are as nice too, if not nicer, inshaAllah. If they are estranged to you, start the tradition if you have not already. Keep giving (if nothing else, make a point to smile and greet them and genuinely ask them them how they are doing when you pass them) even if they did not reciprocate.
Who are our neighbors--some say it encompasses 40 homes on each side of your home or 8 city blocks--but for sure the ones adjacent to your house you should have good and close relationship with. Don't be a stranger to them. Our neighbors are an integral part of our lives as Muslims, and by being good to them and showing your presence, you are in fact spreading the message of Islam.
May Allah bless you with good neighbors. Ameen. Please do not forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.
Wassalaam
