بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
I pray that you are well.
When we do something (big or small) for someone (spouse, children, parents, friends...), it is not because that someone deserve it. It is because we are doing it for Allah. When we have this set concretely in our hearts, we will feel peace no matter what happen. Even if that person does not reciprocate our kindness with kindness, perhaps ignore us, perhaps belittle us, perhaps it went unappreciated, we don't have this ouch in our hearts which can be projected in our actions which can be blown out of proportion and then the civil war started!
You see if you do things because you expect something in return from that person--kindness, praise, love, recognition .... you can never be happy, you probably angry all the time, all stressed out, headaches, migraines.... Remember that person is only a human like you--full of flaws, a slave like you--powerless. How could that person possibly give anything to you if Allah doesn't want to give it to you? So we do everything to please Allah and hope for His mercy and generosity to us. Remember you happen to be nice because Allah make you nice. He give you tawfiq to be nice. So you are thankful to Him for enabling you to be a nice person. If you are not thankful, you might be turned into that unappreciative wretched being. And Allah is able to do that just like that! May Allah protect us from that.
Next time before you do anything, clear out your heart from wanting anything from His servant and do that thing for that someone only for Allah. Keep your duties for Allah's sake and Allah will keep guiding you inshaAllah. If you are having trouble getting along with somebody, blame yourself and say if I were rectified that person will be rectified and ask Allah to rectify both of you.
In every setting, we have a leader and follower(s) because Islam is a religion of unity and authority. If we don't respect and obey the ones who Allah invested leadership within them upon us and if we don't fulfill our responsibilities towards the ones who Allah have entrusted us with, there will be chaos and we will all sink together.
So don't waste your time fighting with each other. Just pretend to not notice some of people's bad traits so long as they are not clear sin. Don't keep telling people you are doing this wrong and doing that wrong; and all the put downs. Pretend that everything is fine otherwise it is very difficult for people to get along. Be gentle and patient with people. Remember we are on the same boat and we are going to the same destination. We need each other to make sure we arrive safely to our destination.
"And whosoever does a righteous deed, be it male or female, believing, We shall assuredly give him to live a goodly life; and We shall recompense them their wage, according to the best of what they did." Qur'an An-Nahl 16:87
May Allah make our hands hold tight to His religion and bless all our relationships. Ameen. Please do not forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.
Wassalaam
