بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum
Dear Friends
I pray that you are well.
"Verily! In the creation of the heavens and the earth, and in the alternation of night and day, there are indeed signs for people of pure understanding. Those who remember Allah standing, sitting, and lying down on their sides, and reflect on the creation of the heavens and the earth, (saying): "Our Lord! You have not created (all) this without purpose, glory to You! (Exalted are You above all that they associate with You as partners). So, save us from the torment of the Fire." Qur'an AleImran 3:190-191
People of pure understanding are those who remember Allah not only when they are standing or sit or lying down but they remember Allah throughout their lives. This was the state of the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace. His wife, Aisha, Allah be well pleased with her used to say, "He (the Prophet) used to remember Allah in all of his moments."
You can only remember Allah if you forget about what you want. Most people can't remember Allah. When they start to pray, they start thinking about their work, the test that is coming up, the people that need to be pleased, the money that need to be earned, the bills that need to be paid, the problems that are about to come and the ones that already came, their doctor's appointment, their horrible marriage, their nightmares. When they sit and recite the Qur'an or start the dhikr of Allah, just after a few verses, just after a few SubhanAllah, their hearts, their minds, start to wander and then they want to get up and run away. Why is this? Do we forget that work, people, money, time are all creations of Allah? Why are we submitting to creations of Allah? This is because we have these desires and these desires pull us towards them and so we can't focus on Allah, the Creator of these things that you are thinking about.
But for someone who doesn't want and desire anything or anyone except Allah, when they enter the prayer or sit down to recite the Qur'an or say the dhikr, his heart and soul will be quiet and he will remember Allah. It is being in this state that enables us to reflect on the creation in the heavens and the earth the way we should be reflecting on. You take your prayer, reciting of the Qur'an or dhikr of Allah to your life instead of taking your life to the prayer, reciting of the Qur'an or dhikr of Allah.
Someone who can remember Allah without being distracted, their thoughts will be clear. Someone who does not have a clear thought, when they look at the creation of Allah, they see them as exciting, entertaining, pleasurable, or the opposite--problems, burdens, pain. But someone whose heart has been opened, when they see the creation of Allah, they will forget about themselves. They feel insignificant before the power they see before them. They will see this as a sign that point to the power, greatness, majesty and glory of Allah and so they will want to worship Him and want to do what Allah bid them to do.
One of the signs that point to the power of Allah is the creation of wives for men. People who do not have a clear thought, they will see this creation as an object of pleasure and after some time, they see it a burden. But someone whose heart has been opened, when they see their wives, they see a beautiful creation of Allah that they will feel insignificant before the power of Allah and that will drive them to worship Him.
Like every other creations of Allah, women are created to help men to worship Him. You are worshiping Him if you do what Allah bid you to do. Allah commands men to treat their wives kindly, so you treat your wife kindly--you don't oppress her and harm her in any way--or you have gone astray.
"Among His signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose and comfort in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for people who reflect." Qur'an Ar-Room 30:21
"O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam), and from him (Adam) He created his wife (Eve), and from them both He created many men and women; and fear Allah through Whom you demand (your mutual rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship). Surely, Allah is Ever an All¬Watcher over you." Qur'an An-Nisaa 4:1
"...And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good." Qur'an 4:19
"He has created from him his wife (Eve), in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her." Qur'an Al-Araf 7:189
The hadiths are filled with words enjoining kind treatment to women and to wives.
The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "The best of you is the one who is best to his family (wife) and I am the best of you to my family."
"The most complete of believers are those with the best character; and the best of you are the best of you to your spouses. (Tirmidhi)
The relationship between a man and his wife should be one of love, mercy and mutual understanding. The marriage is to bring people closer to Allah. When this type of marriage cannot be achieved, the man is ordered by Allah in the Qur'an:
"And when you have divorced women and they have fulfilled the term of their prescribed period, either take them back on reasonable basis or set them free on reasonable basis. But do not take them back to hurt them, and whoever does that, then he has wronged himself." Qur'an Al-Baqarah 2:231
Our mother, Zaynab bint Jahsh married to Zayd Ibn Haritha (the beloved one of the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, and once his slave and adopted son), Allah be well pleased with them both, for the sake of obeying Allah and His Messenger, Allah bless him and grant him peace. They divorced for fear of disobeying Allah and His Messenger, Allah bless him and grant him peace.
"O you who believe! Fear Allah and keep your duty to Him. And let every person look to what he has sent forth for the morrow, and fear Allah. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what you do. And be not like those who forgot Allah (i.e. became disobedient to Allah) and He caused them to forget their own selves, (let them to forget to do righteous deeds). Those are the Fasiqun (rebellious, disobedient to Allah)." Qur'an al-Hashr 59:18-19
Remember, we are created to worship our Creator. Nothing matters except Allah. Don't lose sight of this.
"And I created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)." Qur'an Adh-Dhariyat 51:56
Reflect on His creations and you say: "Our Lord! You have not created (all) this without purpose, glory to You! (Exalted are You above all that they associate with You as partners). So, save us from the torment of the Fire."
May Allah make us among those with pure understanding and among the righteous. Ameen. Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Ameen.
Wassalaam
