Modesty

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

Modesty is a virtue which Islam demands of Muslim men and women. The most powerful verses commanding the believers to be modest occur in Surah an-Nur.

قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا۟ مِنْ أَبْصَـٰرِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا۟ فُرُوجَهُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَزْكَىٰ لَهُمْ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّـهَ خَبِيرٌۢ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ ﴿٣٠

Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do. (30)

[Quran An-Nur 24:30]

The rule of modesty is equally applicable to men and women.

... وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَـٰتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَـٰرِهِنَّ وَيَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوجَهُنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا ۖ وَلْيَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلَىٰ جُيُوبِهِنَّ ۖ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا

And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except ...

[Qur'an An-Nur 24:31]

With immodesty, nakedness and indecency is at an all time high, not just in the West and non-Muslim countries, but also in Muslim countries, we can't hope for it to get better unless we ourselves observe modesty.

Observe the Islamic dress code and exercise caution when interacting with the opposite gender.

Wear what is modest and appropriate. Just because a man's awrah is between the navel and the knees, that doesn't mean a man should show their chest, armpit or hairy arms and legs, for example. A woman should wear a full hijab and careful not to make her hijab a fashion that it attracts the attention of men more.

We should take lessons from the men and women of Ansar who did not think twice to obey Allah's command the moment it was revealed.

Our mother, Aisha said:

By Allah, I never saw any women better than the women of the Ansar (i.e. the women of Madina) or stronger in their confirmation of Allah's Book. When Surat al-Nur was revealed -- {and to draw their 'khumur' over their bosoms} (24:31) -- their men went back to them reciting to them what Allah had revealed to them in that [sura or verse], each man reciting it to his wife, daughter, sister, and relative. Not one woman among them remained except she got up on the spot, tore up her waist-wrap and covered herself from head-to-toe (i`jtajarat) with it. They prayed the very next dawn prayer covered from head to toe (mu`tajirat).

Islam requires men and women to avoid illicit sexual relations at all costs.

وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا۟ ٱلزِّنَىٰٓ ۖ إِنَّهُۥ كَانَ فَـٰحِشَةً وَسَآءَ سَبِيلًا ﴿٣٢

And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way. (32)

[Qur'an Al-Isra' 17:32]

Because the desire to have sexual relationships originates with the look that one person gives another, Islam prohibits a person from casting amorous glances towards another. Since it is quite impossible for people to have their eyes fixed constantly to the ground and inconceivable that a man will never see a woman or a woman will never see a man, Islam absolves from blame the first chance look, but prohibits one from casting a second look or continuing to stare at a face which one finds attractive at first sight.

Jarir, may Allah be pleased with him, said,

I asked the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) what I should do if I happened to cast a look (at a woman) by chance. The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, replied, 'Turn your eyes away.'

Deal with the opposite gender with modesty and decency. We are human and part of being human is to be attracted to the opposite gender. We have to realize what the dangers in all of us--you and the person you are interacting with. The interaction is based on caution and not left free for anyone to do what they feel like doing. At the same time we are not rude with each other because good character is about seeing to people's needs. If you can help someone, help the person, with good character plus modesty.

We are looking for a median in dealing with the opposite sex--not cold, not unfriendly, not harsh. We want to be helpful and friendly but there is an element of modesty. Nothing is more dangerous than attraction to the opposite sex.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "I left no tribulation for man after me greater than tribulation of woman."

How many cases in your own community of families that have fallen apart because of this point? A mother fall in love with a man at work and ran away, or a father have an affair with a woman at work and divorces his wife. These people can be good people but they were not careful in in their interactions with their co-worker of the opposite sex. This is just one example. So many things went wrong in our communities because of this tribulation.

It boils down to a sense of scrupulousness and fearing of Allah in our dealings. A woman who is observing modesty is clear, direct and to the point, not girly and giggly. A man who is observing modesty will not joke around with non-mahram woman. If you feel the opposite sex is cold, you are friendly, and if you feel the opposite sex is too friendly, you become cold. This is how you can guard your religion and preserve our families.

There is no replacement for modesty in our appearance and our dealings with others.

May Allah save us from the trial and tribulations of this life and the next. Ameen.

Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam