Praising

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

People everywhere praise people. We get praised and we praise about anything that seems to be remarkable, and, in many cases, anything that is simple and routine. We are becoming praise junkies. We overpraise.

It is prohibited to praise a person unless you are sure that there won't be any harm either to you, the one praising, and to the one praised.

It is permissible to praise someone who is doing something good, but don't do it too much.

Too much praise can backfire when given in a way that is insincere, make the person praised afraid to try new things or take a risk for fear of not being able to stay on top where people's praises have put them, or the one praised may depend on what he heard of praise and ignore acquiring more good deeds.

People who do things to seek Allah's pleasure don't really need the praise. In fact, it might hurt them if you praise them too much. If your praise is exaggerated and not all true and sincere, it means you have lied and now you are also harming yourself.

The praise may encourage the praised persons to overestimate themselves, especially if they were people of position or wealth. Also, such praise may lead the praised person to be arrogant, which may lead to laziness or lose the sincerity in their works. They might lose that motivation that they used to have when they were doing the things for the sake of Allah. Essentially, you have slaughtered their motivation to do good works or increase good works by your praise.

Abu Musa said, the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, heard a man praising another man and saying good words about him while he was present with them. He said, 'You have destroyed ­or broke the back of the man!’” [Bukhari and Muslim]

Abdur- Rahman bin Abi Bakrah said that a man was once mentioned in the presence of the Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and grant him peace. Another man said good words of praise about him. The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and grant him peace, then said, what translated means, “Woe unto you! You have beheaded your friend. If one of you has to praise, let him say, ‘I think this and that’ (about the praised man), if he thinks that he deserves it, ‘And his reckoning is with Allah,’ and let him not ascribe purity (to anyone).” [Bukhari and Muslim]

If you know that the person like to be praised, you definitely don’t praise him. If you do, then you aiding his lower self (nafs) in his oppression. When he does thing to seek things from people (e.g. praises or thanks), he is an oppressor. By praising or thanking him for what he is doing your are praising or thanking his oppression. If he is not looking for praise or thanks it is permissible to praise or thank him. In fact, it is encouraged to praise him because he would be encouraged and motivated to increase his good actions.

We should recognize people's efforts to encourage them to continue and increase good works and work hard to achieve higher goals. But remember, don't overpraise. There is something about praising people constantly that is belittling because the person has to get people's approval all the time and will constantly look to people for validation.

Be careful about praise if someone is doing haram. We should not praise the person or speak about the haram in an accepting way.

This is a good du'a to make when someone praises you.

اللهم اغفر لي ما لا يعلمون ولا تؤاخذني بما يقولون واجعلني خيرا مما يظنون

O Allah, I ask your forgivness for what they do not know about me, and I ask you not to account me for what they claim, and make me better than what they perceive me.

This du'a also reminds the person praising and the person praised that Allah knows best.

May Allah increase us in good deeds seeking only His pleasure. Ameen.

Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam