In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum
Dear Friends
I pray that you are well.
Entertaining and honoring guests is of the most important traditions in Islam. It is a great virtue that holds a significant purpose. Being hospitable to neighbors and guests can increase societal ties as well as unite an entire community.
Guests who visit our homes must be treated with kindness and respect. The same principle applies whether the guest is a family member, a stranger, Muslim or non-Muslim. Muslims should provide an abundance of food and drink to their guests to the best of their abilities. We should greet our guests with a pleasing attitude and take interest in their conversation. Hospitality of guests does not go beyond what Allah has decreed.
The Prophet Ibrahim alayhissalaam was most hospitable to his guests. He disliked eating unless he had a guest to eat with him and would often look for guests that he could invite to dinner. When he received three of Allah's angels as guests, he immediately served them a roasted calf as he mistook them for travelers and did not yet know their Divine mission.
Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassallam, was always generous to his guests and instructed his companions to do the same.
There is verse that was revealed highlighting the hospitality shown to a guest by one of the companions, Abu Talha and his wife Umm Sulaim (radhiAllahu anhuma). Abu Talha welcomed a hungry traveler into his home even though there was very little to eat. So he instructed his wife Umm Sulaim to bring whatever provisions they had and give it to the guest. As the guest ate his fill, these two devout Muslims pretended to eat in the dim candlelight. The following day the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam gave them the news about the verse Allah had revealed:
وَٱلَّذِينَ تَبَوَّءُو ٱلدَّارَ وَٱلْإِيمَـٰنَ مِن قَبْلِهِمْ يُحِبُّونَ مَنْ هَاجَرَ إِلَيْهِمْ وَلَا يَجِدُونَ فِى صُدُورِهِمْ حَاجَةً مِّمَّآ أُوتُوا۟ وَيُؤْثِرُونَ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ وَلَوْ كَانَ بِهِمْ خَصَاصَةٌ ۚ وَمَن يُوقَ شُحَّ نَفْسِهِۦ فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلْمُفْلِحُونَ ﴿٩[Qur'an, Al-Hashr 59:9]
And [also for] those who were settled in al-Madinah and [adopted] the faith before them. They love those who emigrated to them and find not any want in their breasts of what the emigrants were given but give [them] preference over themselves, even though they are in privation. And whoever is protected from the stinginess of his soul - it is those who will be the successful. (9)
When it comes to hospitality, there are countless opportunities a Muslim can find to engage in this most noble deed. And we should always be grateful to our Lord, who has provided us with all the tools we need to succeed in this life and the next.
Here are some points of etiquette which should be observed with the guest.
(1) To take the guest by the hand and enter the guest into one's house, showing extreme happiness, looking at the guest with joy and smiles.
(2) To honor the guest with what one is able of kindness and gentleness.
(3) To spend on honoring the guest with what one has.
(4) To feel truly grateful that the guest accepted to come and be one’s guest.
(5) To speak kind and gentle words; and entertain the guest with goodly conversation.
(6) To hasten to bring the guest what one can find of food and drink.
(7) If most guests are present, the food should be served; although there is no harm in delaying if the one’s not there are poor or would be broken hearted if the food is served without them.
(8) To place the food before the guest, and not to make the guest go to the food.
(9) To not consider it wasteful if one puts forward a lot of food.
(10) To not calculate how much one is spending on the guest as that is miserliness.
(11) To choose the cleanest, purest and most suitable food for the guest.
(12) To present the food in the nicest containers.
(13) To present the lighter food before the heavier food, not the other way around.
(14) To gently encourage the guest to eat. One should not encourage the guest more than three times, if the guest is not eating much or is feeling shy to eat. As for forcing the guest to eat, swearing oaths, or pouring a spoon full of food into his plate, against the guest's will, there is no permission for that and it hurts the guest.
(15) To entertain the God-fearing, not the corrupt; as the food aids the former to obey and the latter to disobey.
The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said,
Do not keep the company except of a believer, and let no one eat your food except for the God-fearing. (Tirmidhi)
(16) To prefer the guest over oneself with what one possesses, even if one does not have except the food for a day.
(17) To serve guests with one’s own hands, and not to surrender their service to the people of the household.
(18) To start with serving guests the best one has; although there is no harm in letting them choose their food, so that each orders what the guest most desires, saying, “I have got such and such ingredients, so choose what you would like me to cook for you.”
(19) To present food, cold drinks and salad; each ready to be eaten.
(20) To tell guests if there is no other course of food, so that they eat their fill of what is presented, without waiting for any more food.
(21) To not ask the guest to serve, as this is against self respect.
It is reported that a guest came to Umar ibn Abd al-‘Aziz and his lantern was about to go out; the guest said, “I will stand to the lantern and fix it,” and ‘Umar replied, “It is not from the nobility of a man to use his guests,” and then he went himself and filled up the lantern with oil.
(22) That the host, if he is eating with the guests, be the first to put his hand in the food, encouraging the others to start thereby, and the last to take his hand out, encouraging them to eat their fill thereby.
(23) To believe that the burden of caring for the guest will be borne by Allah; i.e. not to fear that one might be unable to provide for the guest.
(24) To not invite anyone to food except for the sake of Allah.
(25) To avoid showing off and boasting in one’s entertaining the guest.
(26) To not enter onto the guest someone that does not agree with him.
(27) To not restrict to entertaining the rich and leave out the poor.
(28) To not invite some people from a single household, and leave out others, as this hurts their feelings. Likewise, to look out for the feelings of friends and relatives, as inviting some and leaving out others can lead to alienation.
(29) To not invite someone for whom answering the invitation is very burdensome.
(30) To help the guest to observe prayer times while he is staying with one, as guests can make mistakes about prayer times.
(31) To give the guest at night what the guest needs, including a lantern, fuel, a toothbrush, slippers and wudu' water.
(32) To not ask the guest if he wants something, as this is low character; rather, he presents things to the guest and lets the guest take what he wills.
(33) To help them wash hands, starting with youngsters before the meal and with the elders at the end of the meal, as this enables the elders to eat straight after washing hands and wash their hands straight after eating.
(34) To not stay silent lest they feel alienation, and not to speak except with what benefits them and benefits oneself.
(35) To taste fruit and the like, first, to ensure that it tastes good, before presenting it to the guests.
(36) To allow guests to leave once they finish eating.
(37) To escort them to the door of the house on their way out.
(38) To enter the house before the guest, to show them the way.
(39) To entertain the stranger and the poor for three days, whatever is beyond that is charity. It is an emphasized sunna to present food to the guest for the first day and night, and to present what one normally eats for the next two days; whatever is beyond then is charity and kindness, if one wants to provide it, one can, and if one does not, one need not do so.
(40) To say to guests as they part, “You have honored me, may Allah reward you with great good on my behalf,” seeing shortcomings from himself, even if he had poured this world on them completely.
(41) To not remind the guests of his favor to them, or ask the guests for some form of substitute for his kindness or thanks.
May Allah enable us to observe the sunnah of entertaining and honoring guests. Ameen.
Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.
And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam
Masha Allah
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