Wednesday, August 5, 2015

The Passing Of My Beloved Brother -- Dealing With The Death Of A Loved One

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

Whether we are prepared or not, we will be forced to deal with the struggle of losing a loved one or loved ones. When I received news yesterday that my brother had just passed away, only less than two months of my sister's passing, tears immediately started rolling down my face uncontrollably.

When we lose someone dear to us, we become overwhelmed with grief; the pain of loss feels overbearing as though it would never end. Having to face the consequences of detachment can be a traumatic experience. All we can think of is the pain enshrouding our hearts and consuming our minds. With tears streaming down our faces, our faces contorted with emotion and our hearts too feeling as though a heavy burden has landed — the misery takes a hold of us and, blinded by our tears, we fail to see the light.

But there is a light; a light to behold even in the darkest corner of the earth, even in the murkiest depths of the ocean. We don’t have to drown in the quicksand of trauma. Nothing and nobody by Allah’s Will has the ability to overpower the underlying depth of this statement: "Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji`un" (No doubt, to Allah do we belong and, no doubt, to Him we shall return).

When we actually give some time and thought to reflect upon the words which constitute this statement, we come to realize that there is an extremely powerful and truthful message behind it — an answer to all our questions, grief and emotions.

This profound phrase captures the essence of our entire existence; it encapsulates where we came from and also where we are headed: Allah

Understanding the statement has the ability to remove regrets and past events. It holds the key to finding contentment during those times when we think, ‘Why is this happening?’ We can become immersed in questioning, and drown in the misery of relentless searching for the answer...Or we can discover patience by asserting that regardless of whatever has occurred, we will indeed return to Allah.

Instead of allowing our hearts and souls to become blinded by the darkness of sadness, we can train ourselves in times of positive feelings and negative feelings to find contentment in Allah's Decree, for nothing happens without His Decreeing it.

Allah Almighty tells us:
وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَىْءٍ مِّنَ ٱلْخَوْفِ وَٱلْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ ٱلْأَمْوَ‌ٰلِ وَٱلْأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَ‌ٰ‌تِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ‌ ٱلصَّـٰبِرِ‌ينَ ﴿١٥٥﴾ ٱلَّذِينَ إِذَآ أَصَـٰبَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌ قَالُوٓا۟ إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيْهِ رَ‌ٰ‌جِعُونَ ﴿١٥٦

And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, (155) Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return." (156)
[Qur'an, Al-Baqarah 2:155-56]

This is our Lord, the One who created us when we were nothing, telling us in His Divine Book sent down to humans and jinn as a reminder — that He will definitely test us with trials, but that He has promised reward for those who are patient.

Just as Allah has created tests involving struggle, risk and loss, He has also told us how to approach these tests; He has revealed to us that the patient are those who, when afflicted with calamity say: “Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji`un.”

In His infinite mercy, Allah has allowed for relief to accompany difficulty. This also shows us that the losses and difficulties won’t last forever, and that everything which we regard as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ in this life is of temporal nature.

No pain or grief or disagreement can last forever, but with certainty, Allah lasts forever and from Him we came to be and it is to Him we will with certainty return.

This means that the events which take place in this life are mere moments. We become so consumed by our grief that we fail to see that Al-Qahhar (the Conqueror, the Ever-Dominating) has provided us with light and that even in the most difficult times provides ease in hardship.
فَإِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ‌ يُسْرً‌ا ﴿٥﴾ إِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ‌ يُسْرً‌ۭا ﴿٦

For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. (5) Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. (6)
[Qur'an, Ash-Sharh 94:4-6]

Upon coming to terms with the truth and power imbued in "inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji`un" and proceeding to integrate this magnificent statement into each moment of your daily life, when you are faced with any minor or major losses, you will see a whole new world of contentment and serenity opened up to you.

The trials faced by Umm Salamah (may Allah be pleased with her) teach us important lessons about how to handle tests, loss and situations in which we do not get something we had hoped for. Her approach towards calamity shows us what it means to be patient in the face of adversity and to recognize that Allah will always restore what He takes away from a patient believer with something better.

The beautiful way in which Umm Salamah approached her afflictions reminds us to rely on Allah and to never despair for He is able to do anything at any moment; Allah is the Provider, and when we are struck by loss, and things don’t go the way we want them to, Allah is Ever-Watching and He is the Best of Planners.

May Allah grant us patient and shower our loved ones who have gone before us with His mercy and make their graves a meadow from the meadows of Paradise. Ameen.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassallam.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam

The Passing of My Beloved Sister

Finding The Night of Power (Laylatul Qadr): A Moment of Reflection

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