Mending Relationships

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

It is in the teachings of our beloved Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam that the best of faith is mending relations. Harming relations shaves away the religion itself. Good relations are what keep, not just families together, but that keep human beings together. And without a community you can't preserve good, worldly or spiritually.

It is important in any stage of our lives to mend relations with those who we have wronged or those who have wronged us, not limited to parents, children, spouse, siblings, families, friends, neighbors and other people of concern. If you have slandered, insulted, spoken ill of someone, redress those wrongs with apology and follow up with good deeds. Part of ready to die is that that no one has a claim against you.

Forgive, Forgive, Forgive ...

Everyone has experienced anger in their lives but holding animosity with relations or friends is the work of Shaytan and we do not want him to succeed in his evil whisperings do we?

Remember the trials and tribulations that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam had to go through and how many people had wronged him. Yet as a prime example to humanity the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wassallam showed us that forgiveness is the key in promoting Islamic values and morals.

There is a hadith whereby the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam went to Ta’if to preach the about the oneness of Allah however when he arrived there the people of Ta’if mistreated him and hit him with stones. He then departed from the city wounded, hurt and humiliated by his plight. When he took shelter underneath a tree the angel of Allah visited him and told him that Allah sent him to destroy the people of Ta’if because of their sin of maltreating their Prophet. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam prayed to Allah to save the people of Ta’if.

Now, if the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam can forgive, then who are we as humans not to forgive our brothers and sisters? What will we gain by not forgiving people?

You need to have a sense of urgency regarding this matter because you don't know when you are going to die. Ask yourself, "Do I want to die in this state of having bad relationship with so-and-so?" Is whatever anyone has done to hurt us so important that we cannot overlook it in exchange for an opportunity for eternal salvation from Allah's punishment? What about all of those whom we have wronged? Do we not need Allah's pardon as well as theirs?

Tabarani relates that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam said, "A caller will call [on the Day of Rising], ‘Let him stand whose reward is upon Allah and let him enter paradise’ Then he will call a second time, ‘Let him stand whose reward is upon Allah and let him enter paradise’ It will be said, ‘Who is the one whose reward is upon Allah, Mighty and Majestic?’ He will say, ‘Those who pardon people.’ Then he will call a third time, ‘Let him stand whose reward is upon Allah and let him enter Paradise.’ Then so and so many thousand will stand and enter paradise without reckoning." Imagine being among that fortunate group and having all of our many sins forgiven and receiving our reward directly from Allah!

Here are some ways to mend your relations in just one month:

1. Contact those who you have not contacted in years and talk things through amicably. If they do not give a good response at least you have tried to make amends.

Do you know that if you cut off ties with your family blood relations you will not enter Jannah? Don’t let pride get in the way of your place in Jannah and mend relations today.

The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wassallam said, “It is not lawful for a Muslim to forsake his (Muslim) brother beyond three days; and whosoever does so for more than three days, and then dies, will certainly enter the Hell.”[Abu Dawud].

2. Remember fear of Allah at all times in all actions that you do this will help your heart to soften and forgive those who have wronged you. If you try to reconcile you will be rewarded and if the person does not respond positively he will bear the sin.

The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wassallam said, “It is not permissible for a believer to forsake his (Muslim) brother for more than three days. If three days have passed, he should meet him and greet him; and if other responds to it they will both share the reward; but if he does not respond, he will bear his sin and the one who (has taken the initiative to) greet (the other) will be absolved of the sin of forsaking (one’s brother in Faith).”[Abu Dawud].

3. Note down these special Hadith is to inspire you to productively work on mending your relationships today and have a pure conscience.

Anas bin Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wassallam said, “Do not desert (stop talking to) one another, do not nurse hatred towards one another, do not be jealous of one another, and become as fellow brothers and slaves of Allah. It is not lawful for a Muslim to stop talking to his brother (Muslim) for more than three days.” [Bukhari and Muslim]

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wassallam said, “People’s deeds are presented before Allah on Mondays and Thursdays, and then every slave (of Allah) is granted forgiveness (of minor sins) if he does not associate anything with Allah in worship. But the person in whose heart there is rancor against his brother, will not be pardoned. With regard to them, it is said twice: `Hold these two until they are reconciled’.” [Muslim].

Abu Khirash Hadrad bin Abu Hadrad Al-Aslami (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam saying, “Whosoever forsakes his brother for a year is like one who sheds his blood.” [Abu Dawud].

These inspiring hadiths can be kept as reminder to those of you who still need the push to unite with your fellow Muslim brothers and sisters.

May Allah make us the keys to unlock good and lock evil, and unite the Ummah in good. Ameen.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassallam.

And Allah knows best and He alone grant success.
Wassalaam