Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Ramadhan Reflection -- Have You Hugged Your Mother Today?

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

A study by University of North Carolina researchers found that hugs increase the "bonding" hormone oxytocin and decrease the risk of heart disease. The importance of oxytocin and its potentially cardioprotective effects is greater for women. Allah knows best.

So, have you hugged your mother today? If not, go and hug her now. If your mother is far away, call her now, and say "I love you Mom." If you haven't said this to her since grade or primary school, it is the more reason you should revive that speech. Keep in touch with her. The technology has made it very easy to do this ... use it to earn you Paradise. 

If your mother is deceased, call her sister(s) and chat with her. You will make her (them) very happy. Bringing happiness to the heart of others, the angels will keep you company when you are alone in your grave.

Al-Bara bin Azib (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: I heard the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) saying: “A mother’s sister is equivalent to (real) mother (in status).” [At-Tirmidhi]

Ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with both father and son) reports that a man came to the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) and said, “I have committed a very great sin and I wonder if it can be forgiven”. The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) asked, “Have you a mother?” The man answered that he had lost his mother. “Then, is her sister alive?” Asked the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) “She is.” The man said. “Then go and treat her well”, the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) advised. [Tirmidhi]

Remember, Ramadhan fasting is not about iftars (break fast meals) and suhur (pre-dawn meals). The very purpose of fasting is so we may become people of taqwa (righteousness, piety, Godfearingness).

Fasting is an act of self control/restraint from which a person is meant to acquire a state which is of the most and emphasized of human state -- a state of being conscious of your Lord and wary of disobeying Him in one's action. It is to break the desire for lust, and to cool the fire of selfishness and arrogance, so that the soul instead of being inclined towards the desires of lust, it becomes obedient towards the commands of the Almighty.

Allah Almighty says,
... يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ ٱلصِّيَامُ كَمَا كُتِبَ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ ﴿١٨٣﴾ أَيَّامًا مَّعْدُودَٰتٍ ۚ فَمَن كَانَ مِنكُم مَّرِيضًا أَوْ عَلَىٰ سَفَرٍ فَعِدَّةٌ مِّنْ أَيَّامٍ أُخَرَ

O you who have believed, decreed upon you is fasting as it was decreed upon those before you that you may become righteous - (183) [Fasting for] a limited number of days. ...
[Quran, Al-Baqarah 2:183-184]

Tawqa of Allah (iitaqullah) means to do something (shield of good deeds) to place between yourself and the anger of Allah. It is also used with respect to Hell (ittaqunnar) or the Last Day (wattaqu yauman fihi illallah). Each of these, Hell and the Last Day, there is something to be frightened of.

One area that each and everyone of us need to work on this Ramadhan is taqwa of Allah concerning our mother.

Your mother is the most compassionate of all people to you and the most forbearing of your faults. Many times she overlook your mistakes and forgive you.  She struggles in life in order for you to feel happy and trouble and burden herself in order that you may be comfortable. She gives you in such a way that does not cause you to be indebted to her or in a way that does not hurt your feelings. She wishes you long and good life. On the contrary, when you serve her and provide for her, you make her feel indebted to you and some children even anticipate their mother's death in order to be relieved of their service of her.

Beware of mistreating your mother or hurting her feelings, since the Prophet sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam stressed the excellent treatment of mothers more than he did with regard to fathers, because of the great right that mothers have over their children. “A man came to the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wasallam and asked: Which of the people is most deserving of my good companionship? He replied: "It is your mother." He said: Who is the next? He replied: "It is your mother." He said: Who is the next? He said: "It is your mother." He asked: Who is the next? The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wasallam answered: "It is your father.” (Bukhari).

Your mother has great rights over you. Allah Most High, by way of highlighting the sacrifices that your mother has made to bring you to this world, should not be taken lightly concerning your duty to your mother.
وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُۥ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَـٰلُهُۥ فِى عَامَيْنِ أَنِ ٱشْكُرْ لِى وَلِوَٰلِدَيْكَ إِلَىَّ ٱلْمَصِيرُ ﴿١٤

And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years — give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination. (14)
[Quran, Luqman 31:14]
وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِ إِحْسَـٰنًا ۖ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُۥ كُرْهًا وَوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهًا ۖ وَحَمْلُهُۥ وَفِصَـٰلُهُۥ ثَلَـٰثُونَ شَهْرًا ۚ حَتَّىٰٓ إِذَا بَلَغَ أَشُدَّهُۥ وَبَلَغَ أَرْبَعِينَ سَنَةً قَالَ رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِىٓ أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ ٱلَّتِىٓ أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَىَّ وَعَلَىٰ وَٰلِدَىَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَـٰلِحًا تَرْضَىٰهُ وَأَصْلِحْ لِى فِى ذُرِّيَّتِىٓ ۖ إِنِّى تُبْتُ إِلَيْكَ وَإِنِّى مِنَ ٱلْمُسْلِمِينَ ﴿١٥

And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship And she brings him forth with hardship, and the bearing of him, and the weaning of him is thirty months, till when he attains full strength and reaches forty years, he says: "My Lord! Grant me the power and ability that I may be grateful for Your Favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and that I may do righteous good deeds, such as please You, and make my off-spring good. Truly, I have turned to You in repentance, and truly, I am one of the Muslims (submitting to Your Will)." (15)
[Qur'an, Al-Ahqaf 46:15]

You should be a good companion to her and kind to her as much as you can. This is the way that leads to your pleasure in this world and in the Hereafter. So, hasten before it is too late! Ibn 'Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him and his father) said: ”I do not know a deed more favorable to Allah than kindness to mothers”. Rifa'ah bin Iyas said: “I saw a man weeping at the funeral of his mother. I exclaimed: Do you weep?! He said: Why not? A gate of Paradise has been closed before me”.

Hisham bin Hassan said: “I said to Al-Hasan: I am studying Qur'an, but my mother is expecting me for dinner. Al-Hasan said: Go and have dinner with your mother to please her, for this is dearer to me than a supererogatory pilgrimage you may make”.

Some people listen to their wives, fulfill their demands and seek their pleasure, and at the same time mistreat their mothers, neglecting them, not caring to ask about them or visiting them. They may even agree with ill remarks made by their wives and children concerning their mothers which enrage them and make them wish for the death of their mothers. This is the worst kind of ingratitude towards their mothers.

Instead, a man should seek the pleasure of his mother, even if he displeases all the other people for her sake. Forbid your children and other people to hurt your mother with words or deeds, and strictly reject the complaints made by your wife about your mother. Rather, you should rather exhort your wife to respect your mother and to be more patient with her occasional mistakes. This is your taqwa and your salvation in the hereafter.

Respectful treatment and service to your parents shall be immediately responded by similar treatment with you by your children; and unadulterated pious personal conduct fetches faithfulness and sincerity among your family women.

Be aware that kindness or unkindness to your parents is an act that will be repaid likewise. If a Muslim obeys his parents, his children will obey him. If he honors his parents, his children will honor him, and vice versa. It was narrated in a Hadith: "As you are kind to your parents, so will your children be kind to you."

Beware of Allah's punishment because of your unkindness to your parents. The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wasallam said: "Allah delays the punishment of sins according to His Will until the Day of Resurrection, except for unkindness to parents, Allah hastens its punishment for the one guilty of it before his death."

We should all strive to please our own mothers and treat her with excellence. In so doing we will also develop the best character, which weighs heavy on the Scale in the Day of Judgment.

The Prophet (salallahu alayhi wasallam) said, “The closest to me on the Day of Judgment and the most beloved to me are those who have the best character.”

O Allah, help us be dutiful and excellent to our parents and shower us with Your Mercy, for You are the Most Merciful of those who show mercy. O Allah, have mercy on our parents and all our believing ancestors, pardon them and and forgive them, for You are the Pardoner, the Most Forgiving. Ameen.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam.

And Allah knows best and is Most Wise, and He alone grants success, and to Him is the final return of all.

Wassalaam

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