Our concern for our children is built into our Deen (the religion of Islam) and it is a very fundamental aspect of our Deen. Some of our children will be a comfort to our eyes, and some of them will be a huge test. This is part of life and from the destiny of Allah. No two children are going to be the same. We have to work with all of them and be patient.
Even prophets had troubles with their children. We see in the family of Prophet Ya'qub (peace upon him) -- two of his children were wonderful -- Yusuf (peace upon him) and Benyamin, but most of them were not so wonderful, even plotted to kill Yusuf, their younger brother. We don't believe that Prophet Ya'qub, a Prophet of Allah, treated Yusuf better but treated his other kids worse, so that they turned out the way they were, because one thing all prophets do is to live by justice. Despite what they did to Yusuf, Prophet Ya’qub was extremely patient with them. And Allah recorded what he said to them in the Quran for our guidance,
فَصَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ ۖ وَاللَّهُ الْمُسْتَعَانُ عَلَىٰ مَا تَصِفُونَ
"Rather, your souls have enticed you to something, so patience is most fitting. And Allah is the one sought for help against that which you describe." [Quran, Yusuf 12:18]
In the end the bad kids repented and the family reunited in Egypt. That is a great gift that Allah gave to Prophet Ya'qub and he was grateful.
We strive, we seek knowledge, we seek good counsel, we do our best, we make du'a, we forebear and exercise beautiful patience. How our children turn out to be is in the hands of Allah. If they turn out wonderful, that is the destiny of Allah and we thank and praise Allah. If they turn out bad, that too is the destiny of Allah and we are patient and put our trust in Allah that all good will come out of it. We don't despair.
إِنَّ اللَّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ
Indeed, Allah is with the patient
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.
[Quran, Al Furqan 25:74]
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