When People Are Rude And Ugly

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

What do we do when people do something bad to us, rude to us or say some ugly things about us? Most of us will get angry. Seldom we find people who who are faced with rudeness or ugliness from others, would just walk away with a smile, with much praise and thanks to Allah. 

Once anger starts, all kinds of words will splash out the mouth and all bad feelings ensued. Once again, you have made the accursed Shaytan happy and made his day. The Shaytan's key aim is to cause dissension among us and take gratitude way from us. Why would someone want to be on the side of his worst enemy and invoke the wrath of his Lord? 

This is a tribulation, a calamity, only Allah can help us out of it. Then say, I seek refuge with Allah from the accursed Shaytan, إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيْهِ رَٰجِعُونَ Inna lillahi wainna ilayhi raji'un (Indeed, we belong to God and to Him we return), and ask His help with the situation. 

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, taught us to be patient during tribulation. The desert Arabs were rude and cruel to him but he was patient.

When bad things come to you, recognize this is a gift for you, quickly lift yourself up and go to Him. Say Alhamdulillah and ask for forgiveness--do much of this in between prayers.

"And of His signs is the creation of the heavens and earth and the crawling things He has scattered abroad in them; and He is able to gather them whenever He will. Whatever affliction may visit you is for what you own hands have earned; and He pardons much. You are not able to frustrate Him in the earth; and, apart from God, you have neither protector nor helper." (Qur'an Al-Shura 42:29-31) 

Patience and gratitude are characteristics of a noble Muslim. It doesn't come by doing it once or twice. It is a conscious and continuous effort of doing and asking Allah to help. This is our jihad in this life. No one says it is easy but the payoff is tremendous--the nearness to Allah Almighty.

Patience is like provision in this journey; patience to worship Allah and patience of dislike things. We can't reach Allah without patience. Each and everything around us is a test of our patience. If it is not one thing, it is another; big or small. Even a tiny flea or a barking dog can be a huge test to some. 

If people are bad to you, you don't respond with bad. Two wrongs don't make a right. Say, Alhamdulillah. Make du'a for the person. This is gratitude. Gratitude is a trait in the Qur'an to which Allah describes the most exalted of people. He describes Prophet Nuh and Prophet Ibrahim, Allah grant them peace, as being people of extremely grateful. Allah has a special reward for the grateful. 

Remember, we are here to please Allah, not people. Whatever we do, the ultimate goal is to please Allah. He is all we got. He is the Real One, and everything else is a veil from Him. People before us have passed, you and I will soon die, your children and your children's children..and on, will also die. But He remains. Everything will perish but Allah is endless. So, make Allah our one and only goal, direction and desire, and the veils will start coming down one by one. Life would be easy and peaceful.

Remember, we will all be brought back to Allah and taken into account for everything we did  in this life. Upon that Day (some) faces shall be radiant gazing upon their Lord; and upon that Day faces shall be scowling, you might think that the calamity has been wreaked on them. (Qur'an Al-Qiyamah 75:20-24)

Remember, Allah is in control of everything. He does everything. Nothing moves or remain still without His Will. If we are certain of this and remember this, whatever happens, we won't choke over it.


رَبِّنَا لَمَّا جَآءَتْنَا ۚ رَبَّنَآ أَفْرِغْ عَلَيْنَا صَبْرًۭا وَتَوَفَّنَا مُسْلِمِينَ

Our Lord, pour out upon us patience, and gather us to You as Muslims.' (Qur'an Al-'Araf 7:126)


May Allah make us among the patient and the grateful, and make easy our journey to Him. Ameen.


Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

related archives:

Dealing With Problems

Excuse Not Accuse

Truly Wondrous Is The Matter Of A Believer

Be Grateful And You Get More

And Allah knows best.

Wassalaam