Making You A Better Muslim In Dhu'l-Hijjah

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

Narrated by Abu Darda, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said: "There is nothing heavier than good character put in the Scale of a believer on the Day of Resurrection."[Abu Dawood]

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, stated, "The best of you are those who possess the best of characters." [Tabarani, Sahih)

The best character is achieved by doing good deeds. The best of deeds are deeds done during the first 10 days of Dhu'l-Hijjah, and the best of days is the ninth day of Dhu'l-Hijjah (known as the Day of Arafah).

Abdullah ibn Abbas reported the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, to have said: Of all the days Allah has created that we do good deeds, none has reward more than that of the first 10 days of Dhu'l-Hijjah. The Companions asked, ‘O Prophet, even more than fighting in the cause of Allah? The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, answered in affirmative and said except in the case of a man who went out, giving himself and his wealth up for the cause (of Allah), and came back with nothing.’ This person has reward that is tantamount to that of First 10 days of Dhu'l-Hijjah. [Bukhari]

While we are avid in doing the direct worship recommended during the 10 days, like fasting, reciting the Qur'an, increase in nawafil prayers, increase in istighfar, lots of dhikr, preparing for Qurbani, and so on, we should not forget to work on our manners with our parents and be good to them. All of us have something to work on in this area regardless of who you are -- whether you are a young adult or old, a teacher or a student, your parents are proud of you or not or upset with you all the time, married or not, you are supporting/taking care of them or not or vice versa, ...

Allah Almighty has given a grand status to the parents. He explicitly orders us to be good to our parents in countless verses of the Qur'an, and they are many hadith and hadith literature about being good and kind to one's parents.

Allah Almighty says,

وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوٓا۟ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـٰنًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّۢ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا ﴿٢٣﴾ وَٱخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًا ﴿٢٤﴾

And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. (23) And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small." (24)

[Al-Isra 17:23-24]

Allah conjoins the order to be good towards parents and the order to the belief in the Oneness of Allah. This is to show the importance of being good to one's parents. Whoever obeys Allah but is bad to his parents, his act of obedience to Allah will not be accepted. They both have to be done.

Honor your parents. If they are still living, put them in the forefront before your career, traveling for leisure, before your friends, and before amassing wealth. Make a point to ask them if they are pleased with you. So, if they are not, you have time to remedy it. Begin supporting your parents financially, even if they don’t need any help. For those who have lost their parents, make du'a for them day and night, visit their graves, and give charity on their behalf. If you have children, you are teaching your children this good character and they will do the same to you.

This is also a great time to work on any broken or not so warm relationships with your family, extended family and other relatives. Islam has placed a tremendous emphasis on the establishment, maintenance, and preservation of family kinship including the non-Muslim relatives. Severing bonds can have disastrous consequences on a person’s life. Showering relatives with gifts is one of the effective methods of generating love between people.

May Allah enable us to do righteous deeds and make us of those with the best of character. May Allah have mercy on our parents, grant us righteous children and bring our families together in goodness and gather us all in the highest Jannah without reckoning. Ameen.

Please don't forget us in your prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.

And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam