بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum
Dear Friends
I pray that you are well.
Human beings, by nature, loves companionship and friendships and Islam encourages social relationship.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “The believer, who mixes with people and endures their harm is better than the one who does not associate with people nor endure their harm.” (Ibn Majah).
Mixing with people, with sincerity towards them and compassion for them is Sunna and is more virtuous than being alone for supererogatory worship. This is because it is harder to bear and has a greater reward for the one who undertakes it as it should be undertaken and avoids its perils.
Paying visits is a means of socialization. Interactions with other Muslims are governed by basic principles, when observed, leads to sound relationship, strengthens bonds, reminds the heedless, teaches the ignorant, refreshes the souls and alleviates sorrow, promote love and cooperation among a community which is of the most important objectives of Islam. These principles include:
(1) Showing good character.
(2) Respecting the feelings of others
(3) Making each other happy.
(4) Giving respect where it is due.
(5) Dealing with others for the sake of Allah, not personal interest.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Verily the believer reaches with his good character the rank of the one who fasts and prays.”
It is reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Verily from the matters that necessitate forgiveness, is entering happiness into the heart of your Muslim brother.
There are general guidelines that govern interacting with others and among them is to mix with others with one’s limbs, not with one’s heart and religion. Abu Ali al-Daqqaq said, “Dress as people dress, eat from what they eat, and be apart from them in your inmost being." What is meant by this is that he should protect his religion always, and should not let socializing be a reason to let his religion weaken.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) was reported to have visited a number of his companions. He used to visit Abu Bakr frequently. ‘Urwah narrated on the authority of 'Aisha that she said: “I reached the age of discretion while may parents had already been practicing the religion (of Islam) and not a single day passed without the Prophet coming to visit us in the morning and evening. One midday, we were sitting in the house of Abu Bakr when somebody announced: ‘Here is the Prophet coming to visit us at a time he do not usually visit us.” (Al-Bukhari).
Anas Ibn Malik narrated, “The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) visited some of the Ansar in their house and ate some food there. When he wanted to leave, he ordered that a place be prepared for him where he could pray. He then prayed there and supplicates for his hosts.” (Al-Bukhari).
Visiting is of different kinds. Some of which are obligatory while others are commendable. Holidays are opportunity to fulfill obligations and to spend one’s time with useful things. This is a reminder, for the reminder benefits the believers and in order that beauties of this world may not make us forget this obligation. It is also clear that pressures of these days make many of us oblivious of matters that are of priority just as the mass media unnecessarily magnifies useless things in this life and neglects obligations that are of importance.
Visiting one’s parents is an act of being kind to them. Paying regular visits to them should include fulfilling their obligations, assisting them and being gentle with them. Being busy should not be an excuse for neglecting one’s parents. Allah gives importance to their rights and commands us to honor them when He says: “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them, but address them in terms of honors. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.” (Qur'an, Al-Israa: 23-24).
A man came to the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) asking him permission to go for Jihaad and the Prophet asked him, ‘Are your parents alive?’ He said, ‘Yes’. The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) then said, “Make your Jihaad by taking good care of them.” (Al-Bukhari).
Paying visits to the kith and kin with the intention of being kind to them and extending material and moral support to them is also commendable. Being kind to the kith and kin is an act that Allah loves. Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “Allah created the creation and when He finished, the womb got up and caught hold of Allah whereupon Allah said, ‘What is the matter?’ On the that it said, ‘I seek refuge with You from Al-Qatee’ah (those who sever the ties of kith and kin). On that Alaah said, ‘Will you accept (be satisfied) if I bestow my favors on him who keeps your ties and withhold My favors from him who severs your ties?’ On that it said, ‘Yes, O my Lord!’ Then Allah said, ‘That is for you.’ Abu Hurayrah then recites: “Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land and sever your ties of kinship.” (Qur'an, Muhammad: 22).
It is also commendable to visit neighbors in order to know their conditions and assist them and to share with them their happiness and sorrow. The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) underscored the importance of being kind to them when he said: “Jibreel kept admonishing me of being kind to the neighbor until I though that he would make him an inheritor.” (Al-Bukhari & Muslim).
The sick Muslim also has a right of visit from his fellow Muslims because of its good effect. It makes him happy and makes him forget his sickness as well. Supplicating for him also alleviates his pains. Islam regards reluctance to visit the sick as a negligence of a right that is due to Allah. the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “Allah will say on the Day of Resurrection: ‘O son of Adam! 1 was sick and you did not visit Me. He will say, “O my Lord! How could I visit You while You are the Lord of all the worlds?” Allah will then say, ‘Don’t you know that My slave so and so was sick and you did not visit him? Don’t you know that, if you had visited him, you would have found Me with him?” (Muslim).
Would you not then seek the mercy of Allah by visiting the sick and earn by that forgiveness for your sins?!
When you visit a sick person, his illness become alleviated and say as the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) was reported to have said when visiting the sick: “Laa Ba‘Sa Tahoorun, InshaAllah” Meaning, never mind! It is a purification. InshaAllah.” (Al-Bukhari).
When you visit the sick, remind him of Allah and that He is the only One that can cure. Remind Him of the virtues of being patient and being satisfies with Allah’s decree.
Do also visit your bereaved brethrens and remember the Prophet’s saying: “Any believer who consoles his brother who is afflicted with a calamity, Allah will make him wear a garment of honor on the Day of Resurrection.” (Ibn Majah).
It is also commendable to visit the orphans and show them compassion. The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, I and the guardian of orphan will be like this in Paradise -demonstrating his index and middle fingers and separating between them a little.” (Al-Bukhari).
Paying visits to the Ulamaa' and righteous people is also a fruitful, for one learns from their acts of worship, their indifference to worldly things and their piety. While it is commendable to visit the contemporary Ulamaa', it is also rewarding to spend some time with the early scholars of Islam by visiting them through their books.
Exchanging visits for the sake of Allah among Muslims gladdens the hearts and it is a cause for Allah’s love. The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “A man visited a brother of his in another town. Allah sent an angel to lie in wait for him along his way. When he came upon the angel, he asked him, ‘Where are you going? He answered: ‘I am going to visit a brother of mine in this town?’ The angel asked further: ‘Is there any favor that you want to get from him? The man said, ‘No, it is only that I love him for Allah’s sake.’ The angel then said: ‘I am a messenger of Allah to you (to tell you) that, Allah loves you as you love your brother for His sake.” (Muslim).
In a Qudsi hadith, Allah says: “My loves becomes due for those who love each other for My sake; those who sit with one another for My sake, those who visit one another for My sake and those who spend for one another for My sake.” (Malik & Ahmad).
Paying visits however has manners that strengthen social relationships.
Among its etiquette is to choose the proper time and day; for invading other people’s homes without their permission negates Islamic manners. Also, paying unnecessarily frequent visits leads to boredom, wastes time and is likely to breed hatred. This fact must especially be considered when visiting people of high responsibility like scholars because of their many responsibilities and scarce time. Paying a lot of purposeless visits leads to idle talk, backbiting and engaging in forbidden amusements. One should also keep away from gatherings in which there are free mix of men and women as it happens in some family visits for, that leads to temptation and corruption and leaves the door open for shaytan to wreck his havoc.
Of the lofty manners that Islam teaches is the etiquette of seeking permission before one enters other people’s houses. One should ask permission three times, saying, “Assalamu alaykum, O people of the house,” and then saying, “Can so-and-so enter?” One waits after each time for the amount of time taken for someone to finish eating, finish wudu, or finish four cycles of prayer.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) used to teach his companions this manner. A man of Banu ‘Aamir tribe related that he asked for the Prophet’s permission to enter upon him while he was in a house and said, ‘can I enter?’ The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) then ordered his servant to go to that man and teach him the manner of seeking permission that he should say, ‘Assalaamu Alaykum. Can I enter?’ (Abu Dawood).
If one is given permission, one enters, otherwise one leaves, free of malice. One should not therefore get angry if he is told to go back, for people have their excuses and are entitled to their privacy.
Allah Almighty says: “And if you asked to go back, go back, for it is purer for you.” (Qur'an, An-Nur: 28).
The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “if any one of you seeks permission to enter a house three times and he is not given permission to enter, he should go back.” (Al-Bukhari & Muslim).
If a voice calls out to one, “Who is it?” one does not say, “Me,” rather one says, “Can so-and-so enter?”
It is also an etiquette of visit to knock the door gently (if ringing the door bell, press it 3 times and one waits after each time for the amount of time taken for someone to finish eating, finish wudu, or finish four cycles of prayer.) and you should not stand in front of the door nor look into the house (from a crack in the door e.g.) before you are permitted to enter. This is in order to protect people’s homes and their privacy.
Islam so respects the sanctity of people’s homes that it treats it with impunity if the eye of the person who peeps into other people’s house is gouged out.
Abu Hurayrah narrated that he heard the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) saying, “If a man peeps at you without your permission and you cast a pebble at him and his eye is gouged out, there is no blame on you.” (Al-Bukhari & Muslim).
One should not refuse kindnesses extended to one by the host, such as a cushion to sit on, unless one observes sitting on the floor out of humility. It is reported that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Three things are not refused: cushions, oil and milk."
Such is the Islamic teaching that reforms the social life and impart in people noble feelings and sublime conduct.
There is also a kind of visit that is recommended: visiting the graveyard. Paying visit to graveyard softens hearts, makes one indifferent to this worldly life and gives admonition. The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) in fact encouraged it when he said, “I had forbidden you from visiting graveyard, and you can now visit it.” (Muslim).
When you visit the graves, you will remember death and know that you will one day lie in one of those graves.
Whenever your heart becomes forgetful and your soul becomes totally occupied with this life, visit the graveyard and ponder over those who are buried there. Yesterday, they were eating, drinking and enjoining life like you. They are now being held responsible for their deeds. Nothing benefits them except their good deeds.
Visiting the graveyard reminds of the life after death. So that he strives to do good deeds and remembers the reward that is with Allah.
May Allah enable us to perform this supererogatory work of visiting with excellence. Ameen.
Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.
And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam
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