In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum
Dear Friends
I pray that you are well.
It is obvious that your parents deserve your utmost respect and devotion, second only to your Creator.
Allah Almighty says,
وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوٓا۟ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـٰنًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّۢ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا ﴿٢٣﴾ وَٱخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًا ﴿٢٤[Qur’an, Al-Isra' 17:23-24]
And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. (23)
The fact that Allah has mentioned parents in the same verse as Himself shows the extent to which we should strive in our efforts to serve our parents who sacrificed so much for us. Doing so will help us to become better people.
Allah Almighty says,
وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُۥ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَـٰلُهُۥ فِى عَامَيْنِ أَنِ ٱشْكُرْ لِى وَلِوَٰلِدَيْكَ إِلَىَّ ٱلْمَصِيرُ ﴿١٤[Qur'an, Luqman 31:14]
And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.
No one can deny the supreme sacrifice and care that a mother gives to her child. The debt we owe to our mothers is magnified due to the difficult nature of pregnancy and giving birth - not to mention the nurturing and attention paid to us during infancy.
A man came to Allah's Messenger (Allah bless him and grant him peace) and said, O Allah's Messenger! Who is more entitled to get my good companionship?" The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "Your father.” [Bukhari]
A man once consulted the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace), about taking part in a military campaign. The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) asked the man if his mother was still living. When told that she was alive, the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: "(Then) stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet." [Tirmidhi]
On another occasion, the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: "Allah has forbidden for you to be undutiful to your mothers..." [Bukhari]
Allah Almighty says,
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱتَّقُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَٰحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالًا كَثِيرًۭا وَنِسَآءً ۚ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ ٱلَّذِى تَسَآءَلُونَ بِهِۦ وَٱلْأَرْحَامَ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًا ﴿١[Qur'an, An-Nisa 4:1]
O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer. (1)
In other words, we must treat our mothers in a manner befitting their exalted position.
Each of us should appreciate what we have in our mothers. They are our teachers and our role models. Every day with them is an opportunity to grow as a person. Every day away from them is a missed opportunity.
A father’s sacrifice is just as big. It is the father who is given the responsibility to to provide for the family. Every day, without wasting time, the father goes to work, be it using his mental faculties or thru physical labor, with perseverance and determination, so he can provide for his family.
Parents hope for their children to succeed in life--that they become Godfearing, have excellent character and praiseworthy manners, and they are dutiful to their parents and their own families, and useful to society.
A child who has achieved this is the one who gladdens the heart of his/her parents, and like a child who is mentioned in the following du'a:
وَٱلَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَٰجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّـٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَٱجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا[Qur’an, Al-Furqan 25:74]
And those who say, "Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous."
The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said:
When a person dies, he ceases to receive reward for his deeds with the exception of the following: establishing a foundation for the welfare of the public (for example, building a mosque, school, hospital, etc.), knowledge which has benefited others, and a virtuous offspring who supplicates for him. [Bukhari].
Every child must aspire to fulfill the desires and hopes of his/her parents and constantly strive to be virtuous. A child who is good to his parents will be bounteously rewarded with Paradise in the Hereafter and will enjoy a life of happiness in this world before the next. On the other hand, a child who mistreats his parents will incur the wrath of Allah and will be punished in this world before the next.
"Allah’s pleasure ceases when the parents’ pleasure cease; Allah's Wrath ceases when the parents’ wrath cease." [Bukhari]
Narrated Anas (may Allah be pleased with him): The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) was asked about the great sins He said, "They are:−− (1 ) To join others in worship with Allah, (2) To be undutiful to one's parents. (3) To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to kill) (i.e. to commit the crime of murdering). (4) And to give a false witness." [Bukhari]
"The punishment of every sin will be held back till the Day of Judgment with exception of the sin of going against one’s parents, in which case, punishment will take place during his lifetime before his death." [Tabarani].
It has been narrated that Alqamah was a good companion of the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace). He was very diligent when it came to praying, fasting and giving charity. However, upon getting married, his love for his wife was greater than for his mother. As a result, when he was dying, he was not able to recite the Kalimah "la ilaha illallah." The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) asked the mother to forgive her son, however, she refused to do so. Eventually, the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) told Bilal to gather some firewood; and told the latter to burn Alqamah. Upon seeing this, the feelings of love for her son prevailed; forgave her son, after which, Alqamah was able to recite the Kalimah "La ilaha illah" as he breathed his last.
Children should help out their parents financially should such help be needed. A young man once came to the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) with a complaint that his father wanted to take his property. The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) replied: Anta wa-maluka li-Abika [You and your property are for your father (to use)]
No doubt, having parents is a huge blessing. Show your gratitude to Allah by being grateful to your parents. Be kind to them and make du'a for them during each prayer.
رَّبِّ ٱرْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًۭا ...[Qur'an, Al-Isra' 17:24]
...My Lord, have mercy on them both (my parents) as they nurtured me when I was little.
Teach your children this du'a so they can make this great du'a for you and your parents.... Inshaa Allah. This good deed takes so little of your time but the reward is immense.
هَلْ جَزَآءُ ٱلْإِحْسَـٰنِ إِلَّا ٱلْإِحْسَـٰنُ ﴿٦٠[Qur'an, Ar-Rahman 55:60]
Is the reward for good [anything] but good? (60)
My Lord, forgive me and my parents and him who enters my house believing, and the believers male and female, the living from among them and those who have passed away
My Lord, have mercy on my parents as they nurtured me when I was little
Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous
Ameen
Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazak Allahu khairan.
And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam
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