In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum
Dear Friends
I pray that you are well.
Haya' is an inward trait that each believer, male or female, should strive to cultivate. It has been variously translated as modesty, diffidence, timidity, bashfulness, shame or inhibition. However, it is much more than that. It is an unquestionably positive quality that stems from a strong sense of self-respect and Taqwa (consciousness/acute awareness of Allah). It enables one to shy away from the very idea of doing a deed that is displeasing in the sight of Allah, who is Subtle, All-Aware, whether in public or private.
Haya’ includes a deep-rooted sense of humility that stops one from behaving boastfully, shamelessly promoting oneself at the expense of others, indulging in self-aggrandizement and ascribing goodness and purity to oneself.
Narrated by Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "Faith (Belief) consists of more than sixty branches (i.e. parts). And Haya[ is a part of faith." (Bukhari)
Cultivating Haya’-- physical and spiritual -- are equally for men and women. In fact, the Qur’an addresses believing men before women, with the injunction to: “…limit or reduce some of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them.” (Qur’an, 24:30)
The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) was “more bashful than a veiled virgin girl” (Bukhari and Muslim), and, according to a narration in Bukhari, he “was neither a Faahish (a person who speaks obscene language to make people laugh), nor a Mutafahhish (a person who habitually uses bad language).”
Several men companions were well known for their sense of haya' – most notably 'Uthman Bin Affan, the Prophet’s son-in-law and the third Caliph of Islam. Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) reported that once the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) was sitting in a reclining posture in her chamber and received two of his companions, Abu Bakr and 'Umar, but sat up in a more formal way to receive 'Uthman, in recognition of his modesty. Aisha said, "...Abu Bakr entered and you did not stir and did not observe much care (in arranging your clothes), then `Umar entered and you did not stir and did not arrange your clothes, then `Uthman entered and you got up and set your clothes right, so he (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: Should I not show modesty to one whom even the Angels show modesty." (Bukhari)
The Companion Dihyah Al-Kalbi had such a pleasing appearance that he voluntarily wore a face-covering whenever he went out, in order to avoid being the cynosure of all eyes. Undoubtedly, the heightened sense of modesty among the companions was a reflection of their strong faith.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) was conscious of preserving the modesty of others and never stared at people directly or reprimanded offenders by name in public. He discouraged his companions from exaggerating their respect for him out of a sense of humility, and never adopted the mannerisms or lifestyle of a spiritual or temporal ‘ruler of men’.
Islam has never imposed artificial squeamishness or hypocrisy in the name of modesty. The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) was forthright when it came to discussing matters of religion and was often approached by both men and women companions seeking clarifications on personal matters like cleansing after menstruation, conjugal relations and wet dreams.
However, Islam treats conjugal relations with respect and an injunction to not discuss intimate details of one’s married life in public.
Abdullah ibn 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with father and son) narrated that the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace), once passed by a man who was admonishing his brother regarding Haya’ saying: “You are too shy, and I am afraid that might harm you.” On that, the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace): “Leave him, for Haya’ is (a part) of Faith” and in another narration, he said: “Haya’ does not bring anything except good.” (Bukhari)
The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "Every deen (way of life) has an innate character, a distinct call, and the call of Islam is Haya’." (Abu Dawood) It is to our benefit to work out the best way to respond to that call, before we fall into error and misguidance.
Haya' is an important trait that people can have when dealing with people. When you are going to situation when no one knows you, you can do anything and get away with it. That is when evil or selfishness comes out from people. Haya' looks out for what is proper and what is the higher conduct. Having haya' is not being wimpy or weak. It is having a sense of correctness. It prevents a person from committing shameful and evil deeds, and encourages him towards piety and good actions.
Narrated on the authority of Anas bin Malik (may Allah be pleased with him), the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: When lewdness is a part of anything, it becomes defective; and when haya' is a part of anything it becomes beautiful. (Tirmidhi)
Therefore, it is only obvious that hijab plays an extremely important role in regards to haya'. For hijab prevents lewdness and haya' backs this up and then person's Iman becomes even stronger.
Our beloved Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said:
Allah is more deserving of one’s sense of haya' than people are.[Bukhari and others]
So, even though it is not obligatory to wear hijab in the home while alone or around mahram (unmarriageable relatives) only, it is a general proper etiquette (adab) to cover the body and wear a head covering in the home, when reasonably possible, as an expression of one’s modesty and dignity before Allah. Likewise, it is proper adab for men to cover their body (beyond between navel and knees) and have their head covered at home as well. If you do this, not only it is an expression of modesty and dignity before Allah, you are also inculcating haya' in your children.
It is important that we start teaching our children haya' especially haya' around the opposite gender. If we instill haya' in our children at an early age then, whenever our children are near the vicinity of the opposite gender, they will feel shy and, therefore, will not act inappropriately. It is also important that we keep the communication channels open with our children so that we can talk and explain to them things, and they can ask us questions, without any party feeling embarrassed. Then, when they are older, and with our help, they will begin to understand why it is that there cannot be a thing called 'the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship'.
For girls, it is important to teach them not to make their voices sweet and seductive in the presence of non-mahrams. This is done by lowering the voice and not being flirtatious. As Allah Almighty addressed to the wives of Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, "...If you fear Allah, then do not be soft in speech [to men], lest he in whose heart is diseased should covet, but speak with appropriate speech." (Qur'an Al-Ahzab 33:32). Thus, it is inappropriate for girls (women for that matter) to giggle or laugh aloud with the boys or men. When a girl speaks, she should be clear to the point and avoid all misunderstanding.
Parents should acquaint their girls with wearing proper hijabs and modest, non-fitting clothing well before puberty so they are used to them. So, by the time they reach puberty they are already wearing hijab and they already learn not to draw attention to themselves. It is a big mistake to begin little girls with dresses or clothing that are considered seductive in women and to allow or encourage them to put nail/toe polish or make up, even for play or at home. What is the benefit?
As well for boys, you should teach them to wear appropriate, non-fitting clothing, and give them long sleeves shirt and long loose pants or slacks to wear. They should not be accustomed to wearing tight jeans or shorts. Also, teach our boys to lower their gazes around non-mahrams.
Inculcating haya' from within us can only bring good, and destroying it will bring only bad. The proper manners of Islamic Law are means that Allah Almighty and His beloved Messenger Muhammad, Allah bless him and grant him peace, have shown us towards having haya'. It is the means to the realization of our slavehood, love, and thankfulness to Allah.
May Allah grant us haya'. Ameen.
Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam.
And Allah knows best and He alone grant success.
Wassalaam
No comments:
Post a Comment