Fake Scholars vs Scholars of the Hereafter

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

Proper knowledge of Islam is key to proper worshiping of Allah and ultimately loving Him. Having attained the state of true love for Allah, each stage that follows it is one of its fruits and a branch from its roots - such as longing, intimacy and contentment, and each stage that precedes it - such as repentance, perseverance and doing without. Allah is the One to Whom hearts turn in love, exhalation and glorification, humility, submission and worship. Such worship cannot be directed towards other than Him. It is the perfection of love accompanied by complete submission and humility. Allah is loved for His own sake in every respect. All except Him are loved for the love they give in return.

Imam Ghazali (may Allah's Ta'ala mercy be with him) said “We have to love Allah Subhanu wa Ta’ala but we also have to fear him and we are in the middle of this and we know if we disobey him we can do two things. Either turn further away in ignorance or ask for forgiveness and we will attain forgiveness.”

Today, so many things have changed with the creation of the internet. You can find Islamic knowledge at your fingertips. There is no excuse for anyone not to learn Islam.

They are also many teachers (called Shaykh, Shaykhah, Imam, Ustaz, Ustazah, da'e, etc), aka scholars, out there who can teach you Islam. There are local ones who give lessons and there are also those who come from various parts of the world to speak at local masjids, Islamic conventions, forums and retreats. Some are vibrant and some are mellow. Some are down to earth and some would not even respond to your salaams (maybe they are too busy with fans that they could not hear your salaams or maybe they don't need your salaams or maybe you are just a little nobody that they don't see you).

You may pick who you want to listen to and choose who you don't want to listen from. If you are confused about anything they said, then you have to recognize something. Like all humans, all scholars have faults. Some have more faults than others. So we take what is good and ignore what is bad from them. But we have to be very careful of the so-called scholars. They can be a huge distractions and time wasters, for all they are good at is riling up the audience. These people cause problems for the Muslim Ummah and they are more dangerous than anything else. Just because they have a title Shaykh, Ustaz, Ustazah, Imam, Doctors or the like before their names or just because they have 10s of thousands fans, that doesn't mean you can take from them.

Many people are driven away because of fake scholars. Who are the fake scholars? These are people who think they have knowledge but when we compare it with their character and behavior, especially at home and in private life, we will be shocked.

Knowledge is what benefits you and what is manifested in your person. Knowledge leads you to better your character and increases your understanding.

Imam Ghazali said knowledge is not to narrate a lot but to have piety, righteousness and fear of Allah.

Knowledge is a vehicle that leads you to a destination. The destination is meeting with Allah. Very few people know the purpose of knowledge.

A person who teaches others and spreads knowledge and does not manifest it in himself, his character is like a doctor who prescribed medicine for others and he himself is sick.

Until the purpose of knowledge is clear to the person, he will harm himself with his knowledge. He becomes of those who are lost and his destiny may be Hellfire. The scholar who doesn’t apply his knowledge will be punished before idol worshipers.

Allah Almighty says,

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لِمَ تَقُولُونَ مَا لَا تَفْعَلُونَ ﴿٢﴾ كَبُرَ مَقْتًا عِندَ اللَّـهِ أَن تَقُولُوا مَا لَا تَفْعَلُونَ ﴿٣﴾
O you who have believed, why do you say what you do not do? (2) Great is hatred in the sight of Allah that you say what you do not do. (3)

[Qur'an, As-Saff 61:2-3]

Abu Hurairah (radi Allahu anhu) narrated that Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said:

"The first of men (whose case) will be decided on the Day of Judgement will be a man who died as a martyr. He shall be brought forth. Allah will make him recount His blessings (i. e. the blessings which He had bestowed upon him) and he will recount them (and admit having enjoyed them in his life). (Then) will Allah say: ‘What did you do (to requite these blessings)?’ He will say: ‘I fought for You until I died as a martyr.’ Allah will say: ‘You have told a lie. You fought so that you may be called a brave warrior. And you were called so.’ (Then) orders will be passed against him and he will be dragged with his face downward and cast into Hell.

Then a man will be brought forward who acquired knowledge and imparted it (to others) and recited the Qur’an. He will be brought forth and Allah will make him recount His blessings and he will recount them (and admit having enjoyed them in his lifetime). Then Allah will ask: ‘What did you do (to requite these blessings)?’ He will say: ‘I acquired knowledge and disseminated it and recited the Qur’an seeking Your pleasure.’ Allah will say: ‘You have told a lie. You acquired knowledge so that you may be called a scholar, and you recited the Qur'an so that you may be called a Qari and such has been said.’ Then orders will be passed against him and he shall be dragged with his face downward and cast into the Fire.

Then a man will be brought whom Allah had made abundantly rich and had granted every kind of wealth. He will be brought forth and Allah will make him recount His blessings and he will recount them and (admit having enjoyed them in his lifetime). Allah will (then) ask: ‘What have you done (to requite these blessings)?’ He will say: ‘I spent money in every cause in which You wished that it should be spent.’ Allah will say: ‘You are lying. You did so, so that you may be called a generous person, and so it was said.’ Then Allah will pass orders and he will be dragged with his face downward and thrown into Hell.”

[Sahih Muslim]

A scholar of the Hereafter will receive salvation and gain nearness of Allah. There are many signs of the scholars of the Hereafter which includes:

1. He/she does not seek the world by his/her religious earning. He/she considers the world as insignificant and the hereafter as great and ever lasting. At the very least a scholar is someone aware of this world’s wretchedness, triviality, sordidness, and ephemerality; and the next world’s magnificence, permanence, blessings, and vastness – and that the two are opposites.

2. His words and actions are the same, rather he does not order an action to be done without first doing it himself.

3. The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Don't accompany every learned man. Be with the learned man who calls towards five matters: towards faith from doubt, sincerity from show, modesty from pride, love from enmity, and asceticism from worldliness.

4. He is devoted to knowledge that will be useful for the next world, that which increases desire for acts of worship, he will avoid those learning that are of little benefit, or mainly debate and gossip.

5. He is disinclined to luxury in food and drink, enjoyment of clothes, and embellishment of furnishings and housing, preferring less therein, emulating the early Muslims (Allah have mercy on them), and inclining towards the minimum in everything.

6. He is a man who fears of Allah and to avoid all manner of risk.

7. He keeps himself distant from the ruling authorities and avoids their company, because this world is sweet, ever new and its bridle is in their hands. He who get closer to them is not free from their pleasures and harms. They are mostly unjust and do not obey the advice of the learned men.

8. He is reluctant to give formal legal opinion (fatwa), refrains from verdicts about matters unclear, and avoids giving opinions whenever he can. When he is asked and if he knows he gives his opinion. When he has doubt, he says, "I don't know." He is careful not to commit himself but refer the matter to someone else who is more capable than him.

(The great Imam Malik, Allah be pleased with him, once was asked about 40 questions by someone who traveled from a far away land of Iraq to Madinah to present these questions from his people, and all Imam Malik could say was "I don't know" for all of them except a few.")

9. His main concern is the knowledge of the inward and keeping watch over his heart, knowing the path of the next world and traveling it, knowing the path of the next world and traveling it, sincerely hoping to be shown it by combating his ego (mujahada) and spiritual vigilance over himself (muraqaba), since subduing the ego leads to beholding the Divine (mushahada).

10. He is sincere and upright for making his faith firm and strong, as firm faith is the root of religion. He perpetually strives to deepen his inward certitude (yaqin), which is one’s capital in religion.

11. He is somber, subdued, bowed of head, and spare of words, the awe of the Divine being plain in his manner and dress, movements and rest, speech and silence. No one sees him without being reminded of Allah Most High, his mien bespeaking his works.

12. He mainly seeks knowledge of spiritual works and what vitiates them, what disturbs the heart, what raises baseless misgivings (waswasa), and what provokes evil, for preventing evil is the basis of religion.

13. A scholar refused to accept the judgement of a scholar who did not read 2 Juz of the Quran a day. The religion binds hearts to Allah Subhanu wa Ta’ala, If he doesn’t have the ilm that enlightens the heart, its not light.

14. He relies in his branches of learning upon genuine insight and what he knows from the bottom of his heart, not merely upon what he finds by reading treatises and books, or blindly repeating what he has heard another say. For the only one unconditionally followed is he who brought us the Sacred Law (Allah bless him and give him peace), in what he commanded and stated. The prophetic Companions are but followed because their deeds indicate what they heard from the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace).

14. He shuns spurious matters in religion newly begun [such as, for Ghazali, purely speculative scholastic theology], even if a scholarly majority adopt them, being undeceived by what was inaugurated after the Companions (Allah be well pleased with them); but rather dedicating himself to learning how they were, and what they did in their lives.”

15. Another sign of the learned man of the next world is that he becomes humble and adopts silence. The effect of the fear of Allah appears on his body, dress, character movements, speech and silence. His sight reminds one of Allah and his nature and character are proofs of his actions. His eye is a mirror of his mind. The signs of the learned man of the hereafter are recognized in his face, tranquility, modesty and freedom from pride and vanity. A sage said, "Allah has not given a man with a garment better than the garment of the fear of Allah. It is the garment of the Prophets, Siddiqs (the truthful) and the learned men".

Allah Almighty says,

يَا بَنِي آدَمَ قَدْ أَنزَلْنَا عَلَيْكُمْ لِبَاسًا يُوَارِي سَوْآتِكُمْ وَرِيشًا ۖ وَلِبَاسُ التَّقْوَىٰ ذَٰلِكَ خَيْرٌ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ مِنْ آيَاتِ اللَّـهِ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَذَّكَّرُونَ ﴿٢٦﴾
O children of Adam, We have bestowed upon you clothing to conceal your private parts and as adornment. But the clothing of righteousness - that is best. That is from the signs of Allah that perhaps they will remember.

[Al-Araf 7:26]

Where do you find true scholars? Once I asked one of my teachers..."Where do I find a good and righteous scholar?" He did not give me a direct answer but said, do lots of salawat upon the Prophet sallallahhu alayhi wassallam (sending blessings upon the Prophet). Looking back throughout my journey and after knowing some of the virtues of sending blessings upon Allah's beloved Messenger sallallahhu alayhi wassallam, that was indeed the best response to my question.

Allah, The Exalted, states:

إِنَّ اللَّـهَ وَمَلَائِكَتَهُ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ ۚ يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا صَلُّوا عَلَيْهِ وَسَلِّمُوا تَسْلِيمًا ﴿٥٦

Verily, Allah and His angels send blessings upon the Prophet: O you who believe, send blessings upon him and salute him with all due respect to him. (56)

[Qur'an Al-Ahzab 33:56]

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam said,

From those from among my community who send blessings upon me sincerely from his heart, Allah will shower His blessings upon him ten times, elevate his status by ten, and will have the angels record ten good deeds for him and will erase ten of his sins." [Nasa’i]

May Allah preserve all the scholars of the Hereafter for the Ummah and guide us to them enable us to follow in the footsteps of the greatest teacher humanity has ever known, Allah's Messenger sallallahu alayhi wassallam. Ameen.

لَّقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِي رَ‌سُولِ اللَّـهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِّمَن كَانَ يَرْ‌جُو اللَّـهَ وَالْيَوْمَ الْآخِرَ‌ وَذَكَرَ‌ اللَّـهَ كَثِيرً‌ا ﴿٢١

There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allah often. (21) [Qur'an, Al-Ahzab 33:21]

And Allah knows best and He alone grant success.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassallam

Wassalaam

Related Archives:
Sending Blessings Upon the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam
Counsels on Reciting the Qur'an

Sources: Sea Without Shore and others

Let's Read Surah Kahf Today (Friday) -- Lessons for Youth from the Story of the Youth of the Cave

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

The story of the youth of the cave signifies love of the best kind and shows how the youth had a commitment to such love by seeking to earn the pleasure of the beloved, Allah Most High, before taking pleasure in His creations. [Surah Al-Kahf, Chapter 18]

أَمْ حَسِبْتَ أَنَّ أَصْحَابَ الْكَهْفِ وَالرَّ‌قِيمِ كَانُوا مِنْ آيَاتِنَا عَجَبًا ﴿٩﴾ إِذْ أَوَى الْفِتْيَةُ إِلَى الْكَهْفِ فَقَالُوا رَ‌بَّنَا آتِنَا مِن لَّدُنكَ رَ‌حْمَةً وَهَيِّئْ لَنَا مِنْ أَمْرِ‌نَا رَ‌شَدًا ﴿١٠

Or have you thought that the companions of the cave and the inscription were, among Our signs, a wonder? (9) [Mention] when the youths retreated to the cave and said, "Our Lord, grant us from Yourself mercy and prepare for us from our affair right guidance." (10)[Qur'an, Al-Kahf 18: 9-10]

حْنُ نَقُصُّ عَلَيْكَ نَبَأَهُم بِالْحَقِّ ۚ إِنَّهُمْ فِتْيَةٌ آمَنُوا بِرَ‌بِّهِمْ وَزِدْنَاهُمْ هُدًى ﴿١٣

It is We who relate to you, [O Muhammad], their story in truth. Indeed, they were youths who believed in their Lord, and We increased them in guidance. (13) [Qur'an, Ak-Kahf 18: 13]

Lessons from the story of the Youth of the Cave

Put your trust in Allah Most High:

The young men put their trust in Allah Most High when they separated from their disbelieving folk and sought refuge in a cave. They had no idea what would become of them. You should equally learn to trust in Allah Most High at all times and especially in times of uncertainty and trial.

Have faith and take action:

The youth did not only believe, they also took the necessary steps to act on their belief. First their thoughts and eventually their limbs took action. Begin the journey in your heart, but do not let it end there; verbalize your thoughts, then walk the talk. Now start moving.

Embrace Islam as your true religion:

Islam is the true religion and a complete way of life. In Islam you will find guidance, faith, strength, and the will to submit to the true Creator, Allah Most High. If you embrace it wholly as the youth of the cave did, you will be among the rightly guided Muslims. You will have no unnecessary fears or feel overwhelmed with the challenges around you.

Play your part:

Whatever your station in life, you have an important part to play— in the family, at school or work, and in society— as part of the wider Ummah.

Your role as a Muslim youth comes with responsibilities. These responsibilities will not simply be executed without challenges, choices, and changes.

Youthful years brought with them many challenges, from faith issues to other internal conflicts to trying to balance family and friends with study and career.

Understanding the teachings of Islam, especially the message of the Qur'an, will guide you on a path of self-discovery and focusing on your faith, passion, experience, and skills. The Qur'an carries lessons for the youth in all situations and with any kind of challenge.

The life of the Muslim youth is not simply about independence and choosing between black and white. It is a period of change, choices, and challenges, with many shades of grey in between. And these challenges are not without a purpose, just as the entire life of a Muslim is not without a higher purpose beyond fulfilling our immediate needs.

Move forward:

Each time you are faced with issues regarding your faith and Islamic identity, remember the advice of Luqman. Reflect on his words to help you build the best of relationships with your parents and others around you. Emulate Yusuf (peace be upon him) in building a fine character and facing up to daily challenges with patience and trust in Allah Most High.

Follow in his footsteps by repelling evil with good and striving to work hard for your sustenance with excellence. Face up to societal pressure through the example of the youth of the cave. Build a kind of “cave” in your life from time to time so that you can give yourself space away from the noise and busyness around you to reflect on the verses of Allah Most High and nurture the faith within.

Such are the lessons and reminders we find in the Qur'an. The times may be different but the principles and emotions remain the same. Isn’t it time then to take a closer look into the pages of this special Book— to study, reflect, seek answers, and adopt the solutions embedded within it?

Amidst the endless challenges and problems facing the youth today, you can find lasting solutions in the Noble Qur’an. You can uphold Qura'nic lessons and those from the Sunnah and make them your guide through youth.

Keep reading the Qur'an and do not simply recite it; ponder over the meanings and practice what you learn in addition to sharing the message with others. Take a simple step each day and make your intention sincere. Read the Qur'an daily and take lessons from the stories contained within and you will overcome your challenges without any doubt.

May Allah bring us closer to His Book and grant us a sound understanding of His religion and increase us in guidance.

رَ‌بَّنَا آتِنَا مِن لَّدُنكَ رَ‌حْمَةً وَهَيِّئْ لَنَا مِنْ أَمْرِ‌نَا رَ‌شَدًا

Our Lord, grant us from Yourself mercy and prepare for us from our affair right guidance.

Ameen.

And Allah knows best and He alone grant success.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassallam.

Wassalaam

adapted from understandquran.com

Our Children are Like Moths Falling into the Fire

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

Our children are slipping from our hands and many don't realize it until some calamity or tragedy befall them. For those parents who are mindful, there is nothing much we can do to stop it except give your utmost effort to prevent it, and even if they slipped away, say inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un (Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return) and be patient and move on.

وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَيْءٍ مِّنَ الْخَوْفِ وَالْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ الْأَمْوَالِ وَالْأَنفُسِ وَالثَّمَرَ‌اتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ‌ الصَّابِرِ‌ينَ ﴿١٥٥﴾ الَّذِينَ إِذَا أَصَابَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌ قَالُوا إِنَّا لِلَّـهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَ‌اجِعُونَ ﴿١٥٦﴾ أُولَـٰئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَاتٌ مِّن رَّ‌بِّهِمْ وَرَ‌حْمَةٌ ۖ وَأُولَـٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُهْتَدُونَ ﴿١٥٧

And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, (155) Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return." (156) Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided. (157) [Qur'an, Al-Baqarah 2:156]

We can tell our children 'do this' and 'do that', it is is good for you, or "don't do this" and "don't do that", "it is bad, it is going to hurt you or even kill you", until you raise your blood pressure (and that might kill you first), but they will not get it because their perception of fun and glitter is different from those who are raised in a true Islamic home and environment. Also, our children today are not like our parents of many decades ago. Those parents "listen and obey" their parents and they had a village of real people to watch over them. They lived around people who understood the command of commanding good and forbidding evil. Our parents would get reprimanded or reported to their parents if they did something wrong or made a mistake. In contrast, our children today live in a free society; they live in a culture that essentially tells them that they have the right to live their own lives the way they want to, and they also lack good role models but have plenty of corrupt ones to guide them.

Narrated by Jabir ibn Abdullah: Allah's Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, said:

My example and your example is that of a person who lit the fire and insects and moths began to fall in it and he would be making efforts to take them out, and I am going to hold you back from fire, but you are slipping from my hand. (Muslim)

When the fire was lit, the moths and insects fell in; the wisdom behind choosing the parable of moths and insects is their weakness and their inability to choose what is beneficial to what is harmful. If there is a light in the house the moth will go directly to its source, despite the entire house being lit. They start to imagine the room as dark, so they fly directly to the light. Today there are electric bug killers which emit a light to attract the bugs. The insects cannot tell the difference so they go to it and die. The problem the bugs have is that they cannot differentiate as to whether going to this light is beneficial or not. So why do moths do this? When they are in a room, they think they are in darkness and they think the light is the exit (like the light at the end of the tunnel).

This is just as the sinner, he doesn’t know that he is in a blessing of being a Muslim and that sins will destroy him; the light surrounding the fire is their destruction and they go straight to it. Those people fall into the fire due to following their desires over what Allah wants, even though the Messenger (Allah bless him and grant him peace) tries to prevent them. The light surrounding the fire is what causes the moths and insects to go to it; they think the light is good for them, just as the sinner thinks that sin is good for him. They cannot differentiate between the good and the bad. Who determines what is good and what is bad? Our Creator. What we feel is good does not necessarily good by the Divine criterion. Likewise, what we feel is bad may be good based on the Divine criterion.

"The Paradise is surrounded by hardships and the Fire is surrounded by temptations." [narrated by Muslim] This is the light which is what attracts the moths and insects to it, and it is the temptations and desires which attract the sinner. This hadith is a warning to us that the light that we perceive to be good, may not be so. This is a warning against doing anything that would be a reason for you to enter the Fire. The Messenger (Allah bless him and grant him peace) gave the parable of those who are disobedient from the Ummah as being like moths and insects. It is very important to help others; we must push the sinners away from sins just as the man pushes away the moths and insects so they don't fall into the fire.

How do you help your children from following the wrong light? Make sure they have good righteous companions and keep them away from bad company, and be a good example for them.

The most important characteristic that we should have is trustworthiness. Being untrustworthy is a despicable trait. Everyone detests an untrustworthy person. We take our example from the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace). The most famous characteristics of the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) before his Prophethood was honesty and trustworthiness. Even his enemies trusted him with their property. At the end of his final farewell sermon, he said: “O people, whoever of you who has been entrusted must render their trusts.” Then the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace), extended his hands and said, “Now I have passed the message so it’s up to whoever has seen me to pass this on to those who aren’t here, for perhaps someone who hears it from them will benefit more than the one who passed it on”.

Allah Most High says,

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تَخُونُوا اللَّـهَ وَالرَّسُولَ وَتَخُونُوا أَمَانَاتِكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ تَعْلَمُونَ

O ye that believe! betray not the trust of Allah and the Messenger, nor misappropriate knowingly things entrusted to you. (Qur'an Al Anfal 8:27)

If we neglect the orders of Allah and His Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace), we are essentially betraying the trust of Allah and His Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace). Everything in our lives is in the form of a trust from Allah--our children, our parents, our body, our possessions, our knowledge, our environment and so on. Everything belongs to Allah. Nothing belongs to us. We cannot do whatever we like with them. We must follow what the Owner wants us to do with them. Just like if your neighbor gives you the keys to his house and asks you to take care of his house for a month while he goes and visits his parents abroad, you do just that--take care of his house. You will make sure the lawn is watered and no menace comes to the house. Actually you would take care of his house better than you would yours if you are a good neighbor. But you don't invite your friends and have a party by his pool. Just because you have access to his house, that doesn't mean you own his house.

Violating the trust of Allah is not a small matter. We will be accountable in the Day of Judgment and the consequence is grave. Actually, we we will see the ill consequences of the violation in this life before the next. Our children should know this. As well, we should know that our children are a trust to us. If we don't teach them to worship their Lord and how to worship Him, we have violated that trust, and everyone will suffer, not just your children, not just you, it is the society as a whole as well.

One of the great concerns of many parents is the issue of boyfriend-girlfriend and fornication. Of course, we all know there is no such thing in Islam as boyfriend and girlfriend. You are either married or you are not. This is what we have to ingrain in our children at the early age, and to not allow free mixing of genders at all. If you allow free mixing, thinking that it is a harmless culture, you are opening the door wide open for the Shaytan to destroy them and our families.

And so, it is important that we start teaching our children haya' (modesty, shyness, bashfulness, sense of shame) especially around the opposite gender. Regarding shyness, we have a great example. Abu Said Al Khudri, Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, was more shy than a virgin girl in her own room. (Bukhari)

If we instill haya' in them at an early age then, whenever our children are near the vicinity of the opposite gender, they will feel shy and, therefore, will not act inappropriately. It is also important that we keep the communication channels open with our children so that we can talk and explain to them things, and they can ask us questions, without any party feeling embarrassed. Then, when they are older, and with help from us, they will begin to understand why it is that there cannot be a thing called 'the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship'.

For girls, it is important to teach them not to make their voices seductive or sweet in front of non-Mahrams (Mahrams are people they cannot marry in Islam). This is done by lowering the voice and not being flirtatious. As Allah addressed to the wives of Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, "...If you fear Allah, then do not be soft in speech [to men], lest he in whose heart is disease should covet, but speak with appropriate speech." (Qur'an Al-Ahzab 33:32). Thus, it is not appropriate for girls to giggle or laugh aloud with guys.

We should acquaint our girls with wearing proper hijabs and modest, non-fitting clothing before puberty so they are used to them before they reach puberty. And by the time they reach puberty they are already wearing hijab and they learn not to draw attention to themselves. It is a big mistake to begin your little girls with dresses or clothing that are considered seductive in women and to allow or encourage them to put nail/toe polish or make up, even for play or at home. What is the benefit?

As well for the boys, you should teach them to wear appropriate, non-fitting clothing; make them use to wearing long sleeves shirt and long pants; no tight jeans or shorts. Even though men's awra (nakedness) is much less than women, that doesn't mean they should show their chest and armpit hair and legs in public (especially in the masjid). There is nothing manly about it, in fact it is pretty gross. Imagine your wife with proper hijab or niqab walking beside you while you are in T-shirt and pants up to your knees in hot weather. What is wrong with this picture? Aren't you supposed to be the strong one?

We should tell the story in the Qur'an about Prophet Musa, alayhissalaam, with the people of Madyan. This is to teach your boys and girls proper manners when dealing with the opposite gender. It is one of honesty (no hidden agenda) and one of haya'. When the people of Madyan went to collect water, Prophet Musa alayhissalaam, found two women standing to the side, not able to get to the well to get some water because of the crowd. He didn't stay in his place, believing it would be rude to go speak to them? He went to them and asked them what was wrong in only two words مَا خَطْبُكُمَا. He didn’t elaborate and say ‘good evening, how are you? My name is such and such, what’s yours’ like most of us today. They told him that they couldn’t get any water because of the crowds and that their father was old which is why he couldn’t come himself. So he fetched their water. Notice how quick it was? Straight away he went and got their water. Look how gallant and gentlemanly he was, and look at the balance of his treatment. He didn’t ignore them and at the same time he didn't go off tangent and carry on with them. Then he went off to one side, as if he was the one who was shy! He stood to one side in the shade; he didn’t take out his card or give out his phone number or email address and tell them if they needed him again tomorrow to contact him! The girl described him as trustworthy. The Qur'an described the woman as being full of haya' when she was coming toward Prophet Musa alayhissalaam. She was covered with haya'. Everything she did was clear to the point and she avoided all misunderstanding.

وَلَمَّا تَوَجَّهَ تِلْقَاءَ مَدْيَنَ قَالَ عَسَىٰ رَبِّي أَن يَهْدِيَنِي سَوَاءَ السَّبِيلِ ﴿٢٢﴾ وَلَمَّا وَرَدَ مَاءَ مَدْيَنَ وَجَدَ عَلَيْهِ أُمَّةً مِّنَ النَّاسِ يَسْقُونَ وَوَجَدَ مِن دُونِهِمُ امْرَأَتَيْنِ تَذُودَانِ ۖ قَالَ مَا خَطْبُكُمَا ۖ قَالَتَا لَا نَسْقِي حَتَّىٰ يُصْدِرَ الرِّعَاءُ ۖ وَأَبُونَا شَيْخٌ كَبِيرٌ ﴿٢٣﴾ فَسَقَىٰ لَهُمَا ثُمَّ تَوَلَّىٰ إِلَى الظِّلِّ فَقَالَ رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ ﴿٢٤﴾ فَجَاءَتْهُ إِحْدَاهُمَا تَمْشِي عَلَى اسْتِحْيَاءٍ قَالَتْ إِنَّ أَبِي يَدْعُوكَ لِيَجْزِيَكَ أَجْرَ مَا سَقَيْتَ لَنَا ۚ فَلَمَّا جَاءَهُ وَقَصَّ عَلَيْهِ الْقَصَصَ قَالَ لَا تَخَفْ ۖ نَجَوْتَ مِنَ الْقَوْمِ الظَّالِمِينَ ﴿٢٥﴾ قَالَتْ إِحْدَاهُمَا يَا أَبَتِ اسْتَأْجِرْهُ ۖ إِنَّ خَيْرَ مَنِ اسْتَأْجَرْتَ الْقَوِيُّ الْأَمِينُ ﴿٢٦

And when he directed himself toward Madyan, he said, "Perhaps my Lord will guide me to the sound way." (22) And when he came to the well of Madyan, he found there a crowd of people watering [their flocks], and he found aside from them two women driving back [their flocks]. He said, "What is your circumstance?" They said, "We do not water until the shepherds dispatch [their flocks]; and our father is an old man." (23) So he watered [their flocks] for them; then he went back to the shade and said, "My Lord, indeed I am, for whatever good You would send down to me, in need." (24) Then one of the two women came to him walking with shyness. She said, "Indeed, my father invites you that he may reward you for having watered for us." So when he came to him and related to him the story, he said, "Fear not. You have escaped from the wrongdoing people." (25) One of the women said, "O my father, hire him. Indeed, the best one you can hire is the strong and the trustworthy." (26) [Qur'an, Al-Qasas 28:22-26

Be careful not to lose our sense of shame because the one whose sense of shame has been removed, has effectively lost himself.

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, said:

"Once Allah wants to perish a servant, He would remove his haya' from him. Once haya' is removed from him you’ll find him nothing but despicable. Once you find him despicable, honesty is removed from him. Once honesty is removed from him you’ll find him nothing but a treacherous person. Once you find him nothing but treacherous, mercy will be removed from him. Once mercy is removed from him you find him nothing but a damned and a cursed person.” (Ibn Majah)

O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light, and make me light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light. O Allah, make for me a light in my grave and a light in my bones. O Allah, increase me in light, increase me in light, increase me in light. Grant me light upon light.

May Allah help us and our children towards His Light. Ameen.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassallam.

Wassalaam

Khadijah bint Khuwaylid -- Timeless Lessons from the Life of the Richest Woman of Makkah

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

Everybody needs good role models and I have many - from my mother to the mothers of the believers - and there's one woman who has captured my heart unlike any other and she is our mother, Khadijah bint Khuwaylid (may Allah be pleased with her). Khadijah had qualities that were unmatched, as time would prove-- maturity, wisdom, intelligence, loyalty, trustworthy, generosity, courage, loving, caring, inspiring, confident, enthusiastic, and more.

Prior to marrying the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace), she was already a distinguished and successful entrepreneur. Khadijah was highly-educated, financially independent, confident, determined and perceptive. At the same time, she was also a mother and a widow. She was the kind of woman many men and women would look up to today and perhaps be intimidated by.

But Khadijah was the kind of woman who wouldn't allow challenges or social stigma to get in the way of her success and happiness. She saw something special in Muhammad (Allah bless him and grant him peace), a person she had hired for her thriving textile business, and she admired and respected him because of his fine character which made her feel at ease.

Despite being 15 years older, Khadijah did what would be considered unthinkable even by today's standards. She trusted her intuition and proposed to Muhammad (Allah bless him and grant him peace).

She was to be the backbone of Islam, the foundation stone of Islam, the first ever Muslim who believed in Muhammad (Allah bless him and grant him peace) as Allah’s last and chosen Prophet. She dedicated everything she had to spread the noble Message that Allah is One and Muhammad (Allah bless him and grant him peace) is His final messenger. Being a strong woman only enhanced her ability to be a devoted wife and Muslim. If it were not for her unflinching support for him and unequivocal faith in him, Muhammad (Allah bless him and grant him peace) would have still done what Allah destined for him to do. But without Khadijah beside him, it would have been a lonelier and even more tedious journey.

The years before and around Prophethood would have been tough for her. Imagine how she felt when he retreated into the cave of Hira' and did not come home for days. Any wife in her position would cease to see the bigger picture and let the desire to own her man and his time take over. But Khadijah knew her man. She allowed him the space he needed to grow inch by inch and day by day towards Prophethood. And her support remained unequivocal. There are reports that she would climb up the cave of Hira and carry food and water for him. She was not exactly young at that time. But she did what it took to support him.

Perhaps the most well-known and yet never deplete of lessons and emotional impact is the incidence when the Muhammad (Allah bless him and grant him peace) returned after he received the first revelation from the cave of Hira, having witnessed the angel Jibreel (alayhissalaam). The enormous responsibility of Prophethood conferred by Jibreel left our beloved Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) in a state of agitation and fear, i.e. would he be able to carry out this great responsibility or would he fail. He immediately went home to his beloved wife and recounted the whole episode of the meeting with the Angel Jibril. Her immediate reaction was to offer loving words of comfort and support. She allayed his fears by pointing out to him that Allah Ta’ala had placed this responsibility on him, but surely not to humiliate him with failure.

Her words at this moment have gone down in history. In Sahih Bukhari, it says: “Then he went to Khadijah and said, “Cover me! Cover me!” They covered him till his fear was over and after that he told her everything that had happened and said, “I fear that something may happen to me.” Khadijah replied, “Never! By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you. You keep good relations with your kith and kin, help the poor and the destitute, serve your guests generously and assist the deserving calamity-afflicted ones.”

She was the first to believe in his Prophethood and therefore the first Muslim. Today, Muslims are a 2.1 billion strong, and growing. At that time, in those crucial moments that were to alter history, it was just her.

We all need that one person, at least, to believe in us implicitly. To know our mettle. To bring out the best in us. To be our fallback. We need to know in moments of fear and insecurity and vulnerability that there is someone who will stand by us, no matter what. And the bigger and more important a human’s intended task or goal and the better the substance of that person, I believe sincerely that the better will be the person Allah chooses to complement us. To facilitate an ultimate aim. For Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and grant him peace), Allah chose Khadijah.

It is then no small wonder that one day, Jibril (peace be upon him) came to the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) and said: “O Allah’s Messenger! This is Khadijah, coming to you with a dish having meat soup (or some food or drink). When she reaches you, greet her on behalf of her Lord (Allah) and on my behalf, and give her the glad tidings of having a palace made of Qasab in Paradise, wherein there will be neither any noise nor any toil, (fatigue, trouble, etc.).” [Al-Bukhari]

The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) included her in the four foremost women of the world: Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, Fatimah bint Muhammad, Maryam bint Imran (the mother of the Prophet Isa) and ‘Asiya bint Muzahim (the wife of the Pharaoh), may Allah be pleased with them.

The richest woman in Makkah sacrificed all her wealth for the cause of Islam. The Princess of Quraish had to sustain the hardships of the 3 years of political and economic boycott, during which the Muslims had to stay in Shaib e Abi Talib, at times surviving by eating mere leaves. Yet, she did not complain or let go of her sabr (patience).

It is no wonder, then, that the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) called the year of her death “The Year of Sorrow.”

A Companion of the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) narrates that whenever any gift was brought to him he would immediately send it to some lady who had been a friend of Khadijah. Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), the favorite wife of the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) says that whenever a goat was slaughtered the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace)would send some meat to Khadijah’s friends; when she remarked about this on one occasion he told her that he had great regard for her friends, as she had a special place in his heart. Aisha said she never experienced such a feeling of natural feminine jealousy for any other wife of the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) as she did for Khadijah. She also narrates that whenever the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) spoke of her he would talk at great length and praise her qualities, and pray for her forgiveness.

Once the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) mentioned Khadījah before Aisha, the latter responded: “She was not but a such and such of an old lady, and Allah replaced her with a better one for you.” He replied: “Indeed Allah did not grant me better than her; she accepted me when people rejected me, she believed in me when people doubted me, she shared her wealth with me when people deprived me, and Allah granted me children only through her.” Aisha says, after this incident, “I learned to keep quiet, whenever Khadījah’s name was mentioned by the Messenger (Allah bless him and grant him peace.)” (Sahih Muslim)

Her place in his life can easily be understood by the fact that till she lived, the young Muhammad (Allah bless him and grant him peace), in the prime of his youth, did not marry another woman.

Khadijah fulfilled all his needs and gave him the happy content married life that is required for anyone who wishes to achieve or do anything great in life. Khadijah, Mother of the believers, took care of the home front and gave the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) support in the worst of times, enabling him to do what he did. She bequeathed her worldly goods and put herself in the face of danger to stand by her husband as Islam became established in the land.

She opened the doors to her home and heart to him. She shared her wealth with him. She took into her home his cousin, the young Ali (may Allah be pleased with him). And then there was Zayd ibn Harith (may Allah be pleased with him). And then there were their own children – Qasim (who died young), Abdullah (who died young), Zaynab, Ruqayyah, Umm Kulthum and Fatimah Az-Zahra(may Allah be pleased with them). And her own children from previous marriages. And this blessed home’s doors were open to all – charity was a norm. An abundant norm. Khadijah gave her earnings to the poor and to the orphans, to the widows and the sick. She helped poor girls get married and provided their dowry.

For her part, she understood and appreciated him and his responsibility. For his part, he cherished and appreciated who she was and what she meant to him. He loved no one more than her during his lifetime. Together, they complemented each other, working hand in hand for a cause bigger than everything.

One could even say that it was the power of a woman's love that contributed to Prophet's (Allah bless him and grant him peace) tenacity and charismatic leadership. Today, many have forgotten the extent of Khadijah's influence on the Prophet's life and character. Many Muslims tend to place great emphasis and significance on raising little Muhammad's but not little Khadijah's. Imagine an Ummah without strong, knowledgeable and confident women. What a travesty that would be!

She was an ideal wife; theirs was a true love story.

Islam empowers women and raises their status. Allah Most High wants both men and women to be successful in this world and the hereafter.

هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ

Your wives are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them." (Qur'an, Al-Baqarah 2:187)

Choose the best garment for yourself and be the best garment yourself so together you can help each other to reach the highest.

Some lessons from the life of Khadijah:

* Be a means of comfort to your husband, especially so if he is striving in the path of sacred knowledge and the religion. A few words of comfort from a wife are enough compared to others. Khadijah holds a very high status in the ummah. Despite the differences in their status, the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) was able to go to her and confide his fears in her.

* Be as independent as you can. Allah has given women the prerogative to seek freedom and fulfillment by worshiping Allah and not His creations. There is no harm in seeking knowledge and earning an income because it is virtuous to practice self-compassion and seek provision for yourself and your family.

* Be a source of inspiration and strength for those around you. This means we must not be afraid of doing the right thing when it's hard; we must challenge ourselves and others too, if it will help them to become better people. To challenge someone out of love and mercy is very different than to challenge someone due to one's ego and being outspoken is not the same as being rude. To teach someone to think for themselves is a great act of love and concern.

* Be self-confident. Khadijah was not a selfish and insecure woman; she wasn't afraid to voice her opinions and make sacrifices when she needed to. She was willing to give her wealth, time and energy to help others. Further, despite being widowed twice, she had the courage to propose and marry a man who was 15 years younger than her because she fell in love with his impeccable character. If that doesn't scream self-confidence, I don't know what does.

* Work on acquiring these 4 qualities:
1) Keep good relations with your kith and kin,
2) Help the poor and the destitute,
3) Serve your guests generously, and
4) Assist the deserving calamity-afflicted/oppressed ones

Khadijah describes these 4 qualities present in her husband before Prophethood, which were the reason for his not being humiliated, and if these 4 qualities were to be present in us, success would be guaranteed for us in both worlds.

To practice on these 4 things a couple would have to be united and supportive of each other. A wife or a husband would never be able to feed the poor or worry about the weak, the helpless, the disabled, the widows or the orphans, or help the oppressed or invite guests without the support of the other. Therefore the 4 beautiful qualities Khadijah pointed out in her husband were present in her also.

“Khadija was a great teacher; she has such a maqaam in our religion. She taught the Prophet salla’Allahu ‘alayhi wasalam who he was; she was the one who elevated him in his esteem. When he had self doubt she said no. You can see that when the Prophet salla’Allahu ‘alayhi wasalam married Aisha he had no fear of strong women. There's a lot of men who fear strong women, who want them to be wallflowers. Whereas with the Prophet salla’Allahu ‘alayhi wasalam, that’s not the type of people he encouraged. His wives were women who talked back, and the reason he wasn’t afraid was because Khadija was his first wife. She was a women of the world. She knew the world, and she was completely self confident. That’s a sunnah of our Prophet salla’Allahu ‘alayhi wasalam, to elevate women”. ~ Shaykh Hamza Yusuf.

May Allah guide us and grant us success to the highest stations. Ameen.

And Allah knows best and He alone grant success.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassallam.

Wassalaam

Maryam, Daughter of Imran: Timeless Important Lessons from Allah's Chosen Woman

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

One of my favorite Surahs in the Qur'an is Surah Maryam. It was the Surah that made me first fell in love with the Qur'an. It was not the content at first, it was how soothing the words were, but I didn't understand a word at that time except the proper names. Until one day, while I was studying the Fath ul-Bari with my children from a Shaykh (may Allah shower him with mercy), he pointed out, in passing, how Surah Maryam is attractive and soothing to the listener even babies-- because of the lullaby rhythm of the verses in the Surah. My curiosity engulfed me, and I began learning the Surah.

Maryam (peace be upon her) is a very central character in the Qur'an. She is the only woman whose name is explicitly mentioned in the Qur'an. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said that she was among the four greatest women to have ever walked the face of this earth.

The Qur'an actually says that she was chosen over all the women of this world. She is also, importantly, a single mother and raised one of the five greatest prophets on earth, Prophet Isa (peace be upon him.) Therefore the lessons we can take from her are important, timeless and countless.

وَإِذْ قَالَتِ ٱلْمَلَـٰٓئِكَةُ يَـٰمَرْ‌يَمُ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ ٱصْطَفَىٰكِ وَطَهَّرَ‌كِ وَٱصْطَفَىٰكِ عَلَىٰ نِسَآءِ ٱلْعَـٰلَمِينَ ﴿٤٢﴾ يَـٰمَرْ‌يَمُ ٱقْنُتِى لِرَ‌بِّكِ وَٱسْجُدِى وَٱرْ‌كَعِى مَعَ ٱلرَّ‌ٰ‌كِعِينَ ﴿٤٣

And [mention] when the angels said, "O Maryam (Mary,) indeed Allah has chosen you and purified you and chosen you above the women of the worlds. (42) O Mary, be devoutly obedient to your Lord and prostrate and bow with those who bow [in prayer]." (43) [Qur'an, AleImran 3:42-43]

Allah has chosen, and the chosen should devote themselves to Him.

Muslims are minority on this earth, about 1/5 of the earth population, and among them an even smaller minority are trying to practice the religion of Allah and come close to Him. If you are reading this article you are part of that very small fraction, the fraction of the world population who has been directed by Allah to this article. Allah has chosen you. And because of the immense favor of Allah upon you, it is very important that you devote yourself to the worship of Allah. Very few people on earth are given the gift of being able to have a relationship with Allah. You and I have been blessed with it. How will we use this gift?

Greatness is based on our relationship with Allah. Our relationship with Allah is based on salah:

It is due to her great devotion in worship that Maryam (peace be upon her) was chosen and granted such a special place in the Qur'an. However, the most important devotion that Allah mentions in the Qur'an is an order from Him: Prostrate yourself in worship, bow down with those who bow.

Our prayers are the most important worship in our lives. It is the first thing that we will be questioned about on the Day of Judgement. It was the last thing that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) ordered before he passed away. It has been mentioned nearly 700 times in the Qur'an. If we look at the lives of the prophets, all of them are distinguished for their prayers. Greatness lies in the greatness of our prayers. To help us achieve this greatness, Allah tells us to be with people who take prayers seriously. So pray with proper recitation and understanding of the meanings of what you utter. Learn how to pray and recite Quran properly from qualified teachers.

Allah breaks stereotypes:

The greatest woman on earth was a single mother. Allah breaks lots of the stereotypes we have in our societies in the Qur'an. The Queen of Sheba was a lady who was in authority and yet praised in the Qur'an. Most of the prophets were shepherds, a profession we often look down upon.

Worship during ease, helps us during hardship:

This ayah talks about Allah’s orders to Maryam (peace be upon her) when she was still young. Allah knows of the difficulties that will come in her life and orders her to establish a relationship with Allah.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, ‘Remember Allah in times of ease, and He will remember you in times of difficulty.’ [Narrated by Tirmidhi].

Our acts of worship often ease up during times of ease. However, it is our relationship with Allah during times of ease that ensure that we are in good stead when hardships may come along.

Remember Allah in adversity:

When the angel appeared to Maryam, she did not know it was an angel. She thought it was an evil person who had come to hurt her. And yet in that time she remembered Allah.

فَٱتَّخَذَتْ مِن دُونِهِمْ حِجَابًا فَأَرْ‌سَلْنَآ إِلَيْهَا رُ‌وحَنَا فَتَمَثَّلَ لَهَا بَشَرً‌ۭا سَوِيًّا ﴿١٧﴾ قَالَتْ إِنِّىٓ أَعُوذُ بِٱلرَّ‌حْمَـٰنِ مِنكَ إِن كُنتَ تَقِيًّا ﴿١٨﴾ قَالَ إِنَّمَآ أَنَا۠ رَ‌سُولُ رَ‌بِّكِ لِأَهَبَ لَكِ غُلَـٰمًا زَكِيًّا ﴿١٩

And she took, in seclusion from them, a screen. Then We sent to her Our Angel, and he represented himself to her as a well-proportioned man. (17) She said, "Indeed, I seek refuge in the Most Merciful from you, [so leave me], if you should be fearing of Allah." (18) He said, "I am only the messenger of your Lord to give you [news of] a pure boy." (19) [Qur'an, Maryam 19:17-19]

Among the characteristics of the righteous is that they remember Allah in times of difficulty and in ease. In Surah Baqarah, Allah mentions that immediately in the aftermath of difficulty they say, inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raaji'un (most certainly we belong to Allah and most certainly to Him is our return).

Remind people of Allah’s mercy, even if they are sinning:

Among the great disasters in our da'wah is that we have become an ummah that seems to jump on the bandwagon of sending people to hell. Yet the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, Give good news and do not repulse. Make things easy and do not make things difficult . . . [Narrated by Abu Dawood]

In the eyes of Maryam (peace be upon her) the angel in the form of a man was at first someone who had come to harass her. And yet, even in such a delicate situation, she reminded him of Allah’s Mercy. She mentioned the mercy of Allah and not His punishment.

Whatever Allah gives, we accept even if it is difficult:

Maryam (peace be upon her) was made pregnant by Allah’s will. It was something that was difficult for her. She had never been with a man, and she was not married. This would bring unnecessary scrutiny and slander. Moreover, she was alone during the really difficult time of childbirth. And yet she did not for once question the decree of Allah. She knew that Allah has decided and no matter how difficult it looks now, there has to be goodness in it.

Extreme pain can drive one to despair— that doesn’t take away from their piety:

Maryam (peace be upon her) had extreme pain and that made her feel as if it would have been better for her to die. However, she did not question Allah’s decree, nor did she blame Allah. All she said was that it would have been easier if she had died before that. But she still persevered. Muslims are forgiven for their thoughts. It is their actions for which they’ll be questioned.

With hardship comes relief:

Despite the immense pain, Allah made things easy. She had a child, and Allah also provided her a flowing stream in the middle of the desert and dates from a date palm tree. There will be times of hardship, but Allah will bring ease.

وَرَفَعْنَا لَكَ ذِكْرَكَ ﴿٤﴾ فَإِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا ﴿٥﴾ إِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا ﴿٦﴾

For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. (5) Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. (6) [Quran, Ash-Sharh 94:5-6]

Allah asked Maryam to shake a date palm tree. Even 10 healthy male athletes will struggle to move a date tree. Imagine how difficult it must have been for a woman in labor! And yet Allah asked her to do it and she obeyed.

Then miraculously Allah brought for her dates and provided for her a stream. Our actions are not really of much use. It is Allah who brings the results. Our job is to do what He orders even if we do not understand His wisdom. And if we obey Him in times of darkness, He will shine His light from places we never imagined.

فَحَمَلَتْهُ فَٱنتَبَذَتْ بِهِۦ مَكَانًا قَصِيًّا ﴿٢٢﴾ فَأَجَآءَهَا ٱلْمَخَاضُ إِلَىٰ جِذْعِ ٱلنَّخْلَةِ قَالَتْ يَـٰلَيْتَنِى مِتُّ قَبْلَ هَـٰذَا وَكُنتُ نَسْيًا مَّنسِيًّا ﴿٢٣﴾ فَنَادَىٰهَا مِن تَحْتِهَآ أَلَّا تَحْزَنِى قَدْ جَعَلَ رَ‌بُّكِ تَحْتَكِ سَرِ‌يًّا ﴿٢٤﴾ وَهُزِّىٓ إِلَيْكِ بِجِذْعِ ٱلنَّخْلَةِ تُسَـٰقِطْ عَلَيْكِ رُ‌طَبًا جَنِيًّا ﴿٢٥

So she conceived him, and she withdrew with him to a remote place. (22) And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm tree. She said, "Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten." (23) But he called her from below her, "Do not grieve; your Lord has provided beneath you a stream. (24) And shake toward you the trunk of the palm tree; it will drop upon you ripe, fresh dates. (25) [Quran, Maryam 19:22-25]

May Allah make us His best obedient slaves and grant us steadfastness in His worship. Ameen.

And Allah knows best and He alone grant success.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassallam.

Wassalaam

Motherhood - A Spiritual Journey

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

Nothing else can produce the joy or broken heart that motherhood allows. I couldn't imagine going through life without feeling that spectrum of emotion. There are wonderful days when I feel my job is done here. And there are days that I want to run away and question every decision I have ever made. Feeling it all, good or bad, takes me to a more intense spiritual journey. Motherhood is the most extreme measure of being alive.

Motherhood is to keep giving, keep loving, and knowing that you can never give up, even while experiencing the hardest trials of life. I have learned to rise to any occasion and found myself lifted to new heights while stretching myself beyond any and all limits I once put upon myself.

Motherhood. It's hard, but few understand why.

It's not the day to day tasks, really: caring for children, kissing boo boos, and all of that.

It's the giving. The endless giving of yourself.

You've never given so much in your life.

You give until it hurts and then you give some more.

You give until you're scraping the bottom of your giving well and then say to yourself, "I've given everything I have. Every moment. Every possession. Every selfish part of me, I've given it." And then you give some more.

You give until it feels like you're cutting off pieces of yourself.

You give until you become afraid that there won't be any of you left.

You give the little treasures that you tucked far away with lock and a key.

You give and give and give.

You give at 3AM when you're so tired that you're hallucinating, walking into walls, and putting the remote in the freezer.

You cry and scream "I have nothing left" and then you give some more.

And the audience says, "Well you chose this so don't you dare complain" and you try to explain that while, yes, it hurts, yes you're bleeding and feel alone, you wouldn't change a thing.

And then you keep giving while warm tears fall on your cheeks.

That's what makes motherhood hard. It's not the diaper changes or hectic dinners, it's the giving.

Cry if you need to. Get away for awhile if you can, although you probably can't.

Maybe one day your child will turn to you and say, "thank you," but most likely they won't until it's their turn to hold a squishy baby who can't settle at 2AM or a toddler who needs a hug even though you're touched out at 4PM.

Keep going. Keep loving.

Keep giving.

This is motherhood.

There's tremendous gain in motherhood, spiritually, so why, then, are there so few mothers who have perfected their faith as opposed to, let's say, fathers?

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam said,

كَمَلَ مِنَ الرِّجَالِ كَثِيرٌ، وَلَمْ يَكْمُلْ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ إِلاَّ مَرْيَمُ بِنْتُ عِمْرَانَ، وَآسِيَةُ امْرَأَةُ فِرْعَوْنَ، وَفَضْلُ عَائِشَةَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ كَفَضْلِ الثَّرِيدِ عَلَى سَائِرِ الطَّعَامِ

Many amongst men attained perfection but amongst women none attained the perfection except Maryam, the daughter of `Imran and Asiya, the wife of Pharaoh. And the superiority of `Aisha to other women is like the superiority of Tharid (i.e. an Arabic dish) to other meals. [Bukhari]

It may be because a man's test is inward, a test of character, so one can easily ignore the worldly life and detach themselves and "easily" perfect themselves, finding only Allah as acceptable and therefore refuse any other. But a woman's test is "outward," how well she can nurture others and push humanity in the right direction, (whereas a man uses the tools given to him to drive humanity to its proper destination). When a person's test is other than themselves, it "becomes" significantly more difficult to detach from the world. And when people dive into the world, they tend to get lost in it.

Water is pure and purifying, and man's test is to be pure, and a woman's test is to be purifying. It is "common" to find something pure and not purifying, but it becomes increasingly difficult to find something purifying.

May Allah make us of those who are constantly repentant and of those who purify themselves and save us from the torment of the Hellfire. Ameen.

إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُحِبُّ ٱلتَّوَّ‌ٰبِينَ وَيُحِبُّ ٱلْمُتَطَهِّرِ‌ينَ ﴿٢٢٢

...Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves." (222)

[Qur'an, Al-Baqarah 2:222]

And Allah knows best and He alone grant success.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassallam.

Wassalaam

Related Archive:

Motherhood

Motherhood

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said that the best of women are four: Maryam binti 'Imran, Khadijah binti Khuwaylid, Fatimah binti Muhammad Rasullullah and Asiya, the wife of Fir'aun (Pharoah of Egypt), may Allah be pleased with all of them.

It is not a coincidence that they were all mothers. Maryam was the mother of Prophet Isa alayhissalam; Khadijah was the mother of six of the Prophet's children, one of the them was Fatimah, the mother of Hasan and Hussain who will be leaders of the youth in Paradise (as mentioned in the hadith); Asiya was the foster mother of Prophet Musa alayhissalam.

We can understand from this fact that the nurturing which a pious woman gives her child, can elevate her to the highest level.

Taking care of our family is a great service for Allah and the reward is tremendous. Caring and raising our children is the best devotion to Allah. We should make our intention now that we want to raise our children to be people of taqwa, people who conform to the Divine and Sacred Laws and avoid haram (prohibitions). Once we do that, every single act we do, the reward is incredible. Even if our children do not turn out as we wish, we will be requited in Paradise forever according to our intention in raising them, which is that they should be godly.

What is in the heart of Islam is combating our lower self or ego (nafs). You have to lower your nafs when you are dealing with your children. Already, it is an endless effort just to keep basic things in order (almost a 24/7 job, it didn't go away even when you were able to catch a sleep). Motherhood gets tougher when they become grown ups and married and have children. And if you are a single parent or don't have a compassionate and merciful spouse, you have to step on your nafs even more. But, without realizing it, you learn to control your anger and you teach your nafs to be patient and ignore or subdue your own desires.

So, if you feel distracted and have no time to yourself to do extra worship while you see young people have memorized Qur'an and are advanced in their knowledge, don't feel that you are missing out or falling behind. Don’t underestimate the spiritual benefits of getting distracted by your children when you are trying to pray, read/memorize Qur'an, study or do dhikr. The moment the distraction is lessened, the fruits will start coming, and you will continue to harvest the fruits of your relatively short hard labor long after you are gone, inshaa Allah.

Allah promises that there is ease in difficulties.

فَإِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ‌ يُسْرً‌ا ﴿٥﴾ إِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ‌ يُسْرً‌ۭا ﴿٦﴾ فَإِذَا فَرَ‌غْتَ فَٱنصَبْ ﴿٧﴾ وَإِلَىٰ رَ‌بِّكَ فَٱرْ‌غَب ﴿٨

For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. (5) Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. (6) So when you have finished [your duties], then stand up [for worship]. (7) And to your Lord direct [your] longing. (8) [Qur'an, Al-Sharh 94:5-8]

Motherhood By Shaykh Nuh Ha Mim Keller (may Allah preserve him and increase him)

When she has her first baby, she must manage for another life even more dependent on her personal sacrifices. By the second, third, or fourth child, her days and nights belong almost entirely to others. Whether she has a spiritual path or not, such a mother can seldom resist a glance at the past, when there were more prayers, more meanings, more spiritual company, and more serenity. When Allah opens her understanding, she will see that she is engaged in one of the highest forms of worship, that of producing new believers who love and worship Allah. She is effectively worshiping Allah for as many lifetimes she has children, for the reward of every spiritual work her children do will be hers, without this diminishing anything of their own rewards: every ablution, every prayer, every Ramadan, every hajj, and even the works her children will in turn pass on to their offspring, and, so on till the end of time. Even if her children do not turn out as she wishes, she shall be requited in paradise forever according to her intention in raising them, which was that they should be godly.

Aside from the tremendous reward, within the path itself it is noticeable that many of those who benefit most from khalwa or ‘solitary retreat of dhikr’ are women who have raised children. With only a little daily dhikr and worship over the years, but much toil and sacrifice for others, they surpass many a younger person who has had more free time, effort, and ‘spiritual works.’ What they find is greater because their state with Allah is greater; namely, the awe, hope, and love of the Divine they have realized by years of sincerity to Him.

May Allah guide and increase the ranks of all the mothers in the world and grant them righteous offspring and families and make them great mothers and best educators. Ameen.

And Allah knows best and He alone grant success.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassallam.

Wassalaam

Do You Miss the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) a Little?

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam missed us a lot. Do you miss him a little?

During his return from the visit, the Messenger sallallahu alayhi wassallam cried. The companions said, “What makes you cry, Oh Messenger of Allah?” He said, “I miss my brothers.” They said : “Are we not your brothers, Oh Messenger of Allah?” He said, “No, you are my Companions. My brothers are those who will come after me and they believe in me without seeing me.” (Ad-Darami, At-Tabaraani, Al-Hakim)

He sallallahu alayhi wassallam also said, “Those in my community with the strongest love for me are from the people who will come after me. Some of them would have given their family and wealth to have seen me.” (Bukhari & Muslim)

Anas related the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam said, “Whoever loves me will be with me in the Garden.” (al-Isfahani)

Anas said that a man came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam and asked, “When will the Last Hour come, Messenger of Allah?” He responded, “What have you prepared for it?” He replied, “I have not prepared a lot of prayer or fasting or charity for it, but I love Allah and His Messenger.” The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam said, “You will be with the one you love.” (Bukhari)

The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wassallam said, “Whoever possesses the following three qualities has tasted the sweetness of faith: the one for whom Allah and His Messenger are dearer than anything else, [one] who loves a person and he loves him solely for Allah’s sake, and [one] who hates to revert to a state of disbelief as he hates to be thrown into the fire.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

One of the easiest ways for us to enjoy the sweetness of iman in this life and be the company of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam in the next world is to increase our love of him sallallahu alayhi wassallam. Here are three of the ways. The first two are rather easy, and the third is really the true test of our love and our faith.

1. Get to know the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam by studying the Seerah, until you miss him the way that he missed you! He sallallahu alayhi wassallam) cried when he thought about us. Something amazing about reading the seerah, is that it does bring you to tears. His life and the lives of the generation he inspired are nothing short of incredible.

‘Abda bint Khalid ibn Ma’dan said, “Khalid (one of the salaf) never went to bed without remembering how he yearned for the Messenger of Allah and his Companions among the Muhajirun and Ansar, and he would name them. He said, ‘They are my root and branch, and my heart longs for them. I have yearned for them a long time. My Lord, hasten my being taken to You!’” (al-Shifa)

Ali bin Hussain bin Ali bin Abi Talib, the grandson of Ali bin Abi Talib, would say, “We were taught the seerah like we were taught Quran.”

Pick a Seerah book from now and divide the pages into days; start now and plan to finish a seerah book. There are entire books available online, but I recommend buying an actual book and choose one you haven’t read before, so you can take notes in it, write reflections, and have it physically with you. Think about the small deed done consistently. A 300 page book can be completed within a month if you read only 10 pages a day. Put away your novels.

2. Spend 5 minutes after reading the Seerah to send blessings and prayers on the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam. If you’ve ever done this while experiencing worry or anxiety about something, it cools your heart so quickly. Imagine how it feels after you’ve just read about the Prophet’s sallallahu alayhi wassallam life. It is such a forgotten act of ‘ibadah— and yet it amazingly suffices you any prayer you wish to make! If Allah and angels send blessings on the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam, what about us?

“Allah and His angels send blessings on the Prophet: O you that believe! Send your blessings on him, and salute him with all respect.” (33:56)

ʿUrwa b. Masʿūd al-Thaqafī (and in a different narration Suhail ibn ‘Amr) said to the Quraish, “O people, by Allah I have served as a representative to kings. I have been a representative to the Caesar, Kisra, and Najāshī. By Allah, I have absolutely never seen a king whose people venerate him the way the Companions of Muḥammad venerate Muḥammad.”

Ubayy bin Ka`b relates: I said, “O Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wassallam, I send much blessings on you. What proportion of my prayer should I devote to (sending blessings on) you?” He said, “As much as you like.” I said, “A quarter?” He said, “As much as you like, and if you increased it would only be better for you.” I said, “Then a half?” He said, “As much as you like and if you increased then it would only be better for you.” I said, “Then two thirds?” He said, “As much as you like and if you increased it would only be better for you.” I said, “I’ll devote all of my prayers to sending blessings on you.” The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam said, “In that case it will suffice you from your worries and your sins will be forgiven.”(Tirmidhi).

So close your eyes, think of the fact that you’ve been blessed to be part of his ummah (that Prophet Musa couldn't be one despite his request to Allah to be part of the ummah of Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wassallam), think about the person you just read about, imagine him sallallahu alayhi wassallam. Send salawat and salaam and know inside that he sallallahu alayhi wassallam receives them in his grave, he returns your salaam, as does Jibreel alyhissalaam quench your thirst in missing him sallallahu alayhi wassallam at least to some extent by connecting with him in this way.

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam said, “Allah has angels who go around on earth, conveying to me the salam of my ummah.” (Nasaa’i)

He also said, “There is not one of you who sends his greetings upon me except that Allah returns the soul to my body (in the grave) and I return his greeting.” (Abu Dawud)

Abdul Rahman ibn ‘Awf mentioned that he came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam who rose from an elongated prostration and told him, “Jibreel came to me and he said, ‘whoever sends blessings (salawat) upon you, I will send blessings on him, and whoever sends greetings (salaam) upon you, I will send greetings upon him,’ so I prostrated out of thankfulness to Allah.’” (Hakim)

3. Obey the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam by choosing what Allah loves over everything else. This is a hard one because it’s not a single act, but rather a process that constantly needs to be renewed, and will be tested repeatedly in different ways. It’s the goal— to love Allah and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam more than our love of anything or anyone else including ourselves. Whenever we have difficulty in this, that is to express our love through obedience, let us feel that Allah is watching us, and let us imagine that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam is standing next to us. Sometimes it’s a choice between two allowed things, but which is more pleasing to Allah and closer to the spirit of the seerah? In those moments, the strength of our love is tested.

A man came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam and said, “Messenger of Allah, I love you more than my family and my possessions. I remember you and I cannot wait until I can come and look at you. I remember that I will die and you will die and I know that when you enter the Garden, you will be raised up with the Prophets. When I enter it, I will not see you.” Allah then revealed, “Whoever obeys Allah and the Messenger, will be with those whom Allah has blessed: the Prophets, the men of truth, the martyrs and the righteous. And such people are the best of company!” (4:68) The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam called the man and recited the verses to him. (at-Tabarani)

Ḥasan al-Baṣrī relates that a group of individuals claimed to love Allah and so Allah tested their love by revealing the verses: “Say (to them Oh Muhammad) if you love Allah, then follow me and Allah will love you and forgive your sins.” (al-ʿImrān: 31)

Allah says, “Say: If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your kindred, the wealth that you have gained, the commerce in which you fear a decline, and the dwellings in which you delight are dearer to you than Allah and His Messenger, and striving hard and fighting in His cause, then wait until Allah brings about His Decision. And Allah guides not the rebellious”. (Al-Taubah: 24)

‘Umar ibn al-Khattab told the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam, “I love you more than anything except my soul which is between my two sides.” The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam replied, “None of you will believe until I am dearer to him than his own soul.” ‘Umar said, “By the One who sent down the Book on you, I love you more than my soul which is between my two sides.” The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam said, “‘Umar, now you have it!” (Bukhari)

May Allah fasten His love, and the love of His beloved Messenger sallallahu alayhi wassallam in our hearts above all else.

And Allah knows best and He alone grant success.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassallam.

Wassalaam

Managing Your Stress

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

Life is nothing but a test. So, as long as we are breathing, we cannot escape from stressful situations. Stress is actually a normal part of life. At times, it serves a useful purpose. Stress can motivate you to study/learn, get that promotion at work, or run that last mile of a marathon, or finish that last piece of an important project. But if you don't get a handle on your stress and it becomes long-term, it can seriously interfere with your studies, job, family life, and health.

Anything that puts high demands on you or forces you to adjust can be stressful. Stress can get to us mentally and emotionally. Remaining calm in tough situations can be a big challenge. Figuring out how to stay calm will, for obvious reasons, make your life less stressful.

Everyone has different stress triggers. Work stress tops the list, according to surveys. Forty percent of U.S. workers admit to experiencing office stress, and one-quarter say work is the biggest source of stress in their lives.

Causes of work stress include:

Being unhappy in your job
Having a heavy workload or too much responsibility
Working long hours
Having poor management, unclear expectations of your work, or no say in the decision-making process
Working under dangerous conditions
Being insecure about your chance for advancement or risk of termination
Having to give speeches in front of colleagues
Facing discrimination or harassment at work, especially if your company isn't supportive

Life stresses can also have a big impact. Examples of life stresses are:

The death of a loved one
Divorce
Loss of a job
Increase in financial obligations
Getting married
Moving to a new home
Chronic illness or injury
Pregnancy
Traveling
Emotional problems (depression, anxiety, anger, grief, guilt, low self-esteem)
Taking care of an elderly or sick family member
Traumatic event, such as a natural disaster, theft, rape, or violence against you or a loved one

If you are a student, stresses will have a big impact in your daily life. Some causes of stresses include:

Fear of the unknown
New school environment/Unfamiliarity with the school system
Poor school administration/lack support by school management
Insecure about the future
Peer pressure
Conflict between the ideal and real practice
Lack of good study habits
Fear of making mistakes
Negative interaction with instructors
Being late to classes
Lack of study resources
Excessive extracurricular activities
Preparing for and taking exams
Intense academic pressures to succeed
Having to give speeches in front of the class
Economic and financial pressures
Study long hours
Due dates/deadlines
Heavy studyload
Negative interactions with teacher, other students, etc
Generation Me and the narcissistic epidemic
The rapid evolution of technology, information overload, and environmental mismatch

Sometimes the stress comes from inside, rather than outside. You can stress yourself out just by worrying about things. All of these factors can lead to stress:

Fear and uncertainty. When you regularly hear about the threat of terrorist attacks, global warming, and toxic chemicals on the news, it can cause you to be stressed, especially because you feel like you have no control over those events. Fears can also hit closer to home, such as being worried that you won't finish a project at work or won't have enough money to pay your bills this month.

Attitudes and perceptions. How you view the world or a particular situation can determine whether it causes stress. For example, if your expensive new shoes were gone from the masjid and you take the attitude, "Alhamdulillah, I give my shoes as sadaqah to the person who took my shoes and may Allah compensate me with better," you'll be far less stressed than if you think, "My shoes are gone and I'll never get it back! How am I going to walk home? I am not coming back to this masjid -- there are thieves!" Similarly, people who feel like they're doing a good job at work will be less stressed out by a big upcoming project than those who worry that they are incompetent.

Unrealistic expectations. No one is perfect. If you expect to do everything right all the time, you're destined to feel stressed when things don't go as expected.

Change. Any major life change can be stressful -- even a happy event like a wedding. More unpleasant events, such as a divorce, major financial setback, or death in the family can be significant sources of stress.

Your stress level will differ based on your personality and how you respond to situations. Some people let everything roll off their back. To them, work stresses and life stresses are just minor bumps in the road. Others literally worry themselves sick.

When you are in a stressful situation, your body launches a physical response. Your nervous system springs into action, releasing hormones that prepare you to either fight or take off. It's called the "fight or flight" response, and it's why, when you're in a stressful situation, you may notice that your heartbeat speeds up, your breathing gets faster, your muscles tense, and you start to sweat. This kind of stress is short-term and temporary (acute stress), and your body usually recovers quickly from it.

But if your stress system stays activated over a long period of time (chronic stress), it can lead to more serious health problems. The constant rush of stress hormones can put a lot of wear and tear on your body, causing it to age more quickly and making it more prone to illness.

If you've been stressed out for a short period of time, you may start to notice some of these physical signs:

Headache
Fatigue
Difficulty sleeping
Difficulty concentrating
Upset stomach
Irritability

When stress becomes long-term and is not properly addressed, it can lead to a number of more serious health conditions, including:

Depression
High blood pressure
Abnormal heartbeat (arrhythmia)
Hardening of the arteries (atherosclerosis)
Heart disease
Heart attack
Heartburn, ulcers, irritable bowel syndrome
Upset stomach -- cramps, constipation, and diarrhea
Weight gain or loss
Fertility problems
Flare-ups of asthma or arthritis
Skin problems such as acne, eczema, and psoriasis

Stress is a killer, we know this. It's been linked to heart problems, cancer, depression, and even PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder). Managing your stress can make a real difference to your health. So how do we manage it? Here some great tips that can make the toughest situations far more manageable. For example:

Take a Deep Breath: Aromatherapy isn't just for spas. No matter where you are, taking a deep whiff of lavender or rosemary can put you into a more relaxed state. Inhaling those aromas can lower your levels of the stress hormone cortisol. But just the act of breathing deeply is also a stress buster. Deep breathing sends oxygen surging through your bloodstream, helping to calm your entire body.

Don't get angry: A man said to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam, ‘Give me advice.’ The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam said, ‘Do not get angry.’ The man asked repeatedly and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam answered each time, ‘Do not get angry.’” [Related by Bukhari & Muslim]

Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam knew that if a person controlled his anger he would be able to control everything else. That is why the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam mentioned in another hadith: "The powerful man is not the one who can wrestle, but the powerful man is the one who can control himself at the time of anger." Controlling anger can be an indicator of the strength of one’s personality.

Detach yourself: If you can physically move away from the situation or the place that will be the best, but you can also mentally detach yourself from what's going on.

Take a Walk: Exercise is a great way to ease stress. It helps your body produce endorphins -- the neurotransmitters in your brain that make you feel good. It also forces you to focus, helping you forget what's making you anxious. Exercising in warm, sunny weather can boost your mood. And if you walk briskly for at least 30 minutes, you'll meet daily exercise recommendations, and ramp up stress-busting benefits.

Listen to Qur'an recitation/read the Qur'an: Turn up the recitation of your favorite Qari. Read the Qur'an. No matter how out of tune you are, reading the Qur'an with proper tajweed and some melody can make you feel happier. Reading the Qur'an (holding the mushaf at eye level) also can be good for your breathing and posture, as well as your heart and immune system. Remember that Allah says, Qur'an is healing. Allah knows best.

Pet Your Cat: Your pet not only gives you unconditional love, but it is also good for your health. When you pet your cat even for just a few minutes, your body releases feel-good hormones like serotonin, prolactin, and oxytocin. At the same time, it decreases the amount of the damaging stress hormones that are released. That can mean lower blood pressure, less anxiety, and even a boost in immunity.

Drink Some Orange Juice: The tart beverage that already may be a regular part of your morning routine could help you in surprising ways. Researchers say vitamin C may help people manage their stress more effectively, in part by lowering levels of stress hormones like cortisol. As an added bonus, vitamin C-rich foods such as orange juice, grapefruit juice, strawberries, or sweet red peppers can help boost your immune system.

Reach out: No matter how much of a self-dependent person you are, at the end of the day you should always have a group of friends and family you can go back to with your problems. You will be surprised how therapeutic just talking it out feels.

Cry if you want to: Irrespective of your gender, if you want to cry, just let it out. Crying helps to release that bottled-up feeling and clears the mind as well.

Clean the Clutter: Being surrounded by too much stuff can be overwhelming and contribute to stress. It brings on anxiety when you can't find your favorite book, your child's homework, or the utility bill. So de-clutter to de-stress. Tackle a drawer, a shelf, or a tabletop at a time. An uncluttered space can feel satisfying and restorative. As an added plus, spring cleaning is good exercise, burning more than 250 calories an hour.

Remember, you can't control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you handle situations in a way to avoid stress.

May Allah not leave us for a blinking of an eye and grant us good health so we may worship Him well. Ameen.

And Allah knows best and He alone grant success.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassallam.

Wassalaam

Reference on medicals: webmd.com

Let's Read Surah Kahf Today (Friday) -- Why Learn and Memorize the First 10 Verses?

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

Why learn the first 10 verses of Surah Kahf?

1) Because Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam asked us to

He only asked us to do what he did himself. So consider it as a sunnah as well, not just the way of Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam but of so many Companions, Successors and so on.

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam specifically tells us to memorize these ayaat.

“If anyone learns by heart the first ten verses of the Surah al-Kahf, he will be protected from the Dajjal.” [Muslim]

Though memorization of some surahs is just plain obvious (like Surah al-Fatiha for the validation of your prayer), but Surah Kahf’s memorization has been specifically talked about.

Since Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam was so concerned about us (as mentioned in the sixth verse), following his advice this is the least we can do.

2) Because memorization is important

Most of us think of memorization as an extra deed, but the following hadith clarifies how hollow your soul is when you have nothing of the Qur'an in your heart.

He who does not memorize any part from the Qur’an he is like the ruined house. [At-Tirmidhi]

You might ask, why memorize in the 21st century when we have the Qur'an preserved by Allah and there are millions of copies and apps for it right at our fingertips, machine memory practically supplanting brain memory?

Because to take a verse to heart is to know it by heart. Memorization provides us with knowledge of a qualitatively and physiologically different variety— you take the verse inside you and you know it at a deeper level than if you had simply read it off a screen. What you have in your heart is more easy to access and apply to your life in spontaneous situations. You won’t have to open the copy of it or turn on your electronics for that.

Qur'an holds so much wisdom in it that keeping it in your heart will make you a wise person as well.

3) Because you will be raised in ranks if you memorize

The more you memorize, the higher the rank.

Recite and rise up, and be increased in reward with every Ayah. [Tirmidhi]

Memorization doesn’t only mean to save it in your heart but also to absorb it deep within. So much so that Qur'an could be seen on you. People could tell, just by looking at you, that you have memorized the Qur'an or a part of it.

The character of Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam was the Qur'an, as narrated by Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her).

In the Qur’an, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam is addressed directly, “Truly, you are of tremendous character.” [Qur’an, 68.4] This Qur’anic verse intrigued Muslim scholars, early and late, especially the Qur’anic exegetes and the masters of the spiritual path, especially as the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam emphasized that, “I was only sent to perfect noble character,” [Ahmad] and said, “The believers most perfect in faith are those best in character.” [Tirmidhi]

Good character, Imam Ghazali explains in his Ihya’, is an inward disposition that causes one to incline towards praiseworthy inward traits and praiseworthy outward actions.

Abu Ad-Darda reported: The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam, said, “Nothing is heavier upon the Scale of the believer on the Day of Resurrection than his good character. Verily, Allah hates the shameless, obscene person.” [At-Tirmdhi]

Your strong connection with the Qur'an helps you build your good character, which will help you not just in this fleeting world but in the eternal world.

4) Because memorizing is a source of peace and tranquility

In a world full of turmoil, we could all use a moment of serenity.

“A man was reciting Surat Al-Kahf and his horse was tied with two ropes beside him. A cloud came down and spread over that man, and it kept on coming closer and closer to him till his horse started jumping (as if afraid of something). When it was morning, the man came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam, and told him of that experience. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam said, “That was As-Sakinah (tranquility) which descended because of (the recitation of) the Qur’an.”” [Bukhari]

5) Because memorizing teaches you the fundamentals of Islam

Allah combines three fundamentals of Islam in first ten verses – Oneness of Allah (as mentioned in verses 4 and 5), revelation upon Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam (as mentioned in the first verse) and recompense [(as mentioned in verses two and three) – hence combining two emotions together; fear (to not let us procrastinate) and hope (to let us always strive for better).]

6) Because memorizing increases your iman (faith)

Surah Kahf has many stories in it that teach you so many practical lessons to implement in your daily life. But the first ten verses help you to develop a strong connection with Qur'an because there is no possibility of deviation in it (as mentioned in the first and second verse).

How do we know that Islam is the ultimate truth? It’s the Qur'an.

No matter how languages evolve, cultures change or standards twist, this one Book will never change. No matter how many winds swirl, the whole forest may fall to the ground but this tree shall stand still, embed in it’s ground. There’s a war being raged against it. War of values before the war of Dajjal is upon us.

We have something we can hold onto because it will stay the same till the end of time. So if you want strength, you come to His Book. You want to just fear Allah and not Dajjal or anyone? Qur'an has an answer. It will increase your iman (faith) in shaa Allah.

7) It gives you a goal to achieve in this world.

This worldly life is a test for all of us (as mentioned in the 7th verse) as to how many among us struggle towards the best of deeds. Not the most but rather the best. Allah is not looking for quantity but quality.

Contrary to our belief that hardships are a test from Allah, here Allah tells us that the adornment of this earth (wealth, beauty, spouses, children, fame etc) is also a test for you. Whoever uses these blessings in the best of ways, receives the glad tidings.

The best of rewards are for the best of deeds.

8) It’s a shield against Dajjal (Antichrist).

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam warned us ahead of time that— Between time of the creation of Adam and the Resurrection Day, there is nothing greater than the trial of Dajjal. [Muslim]

Whatever situation you are facing, it is going to get worse and the only One who can help you go through it is Allah. So build your connection with Allah.

That’s why Prophet sallalahu alayhi wassallam used to seek Allah’s refuge from Dajjal in his prayer.

When any one of you utters tashahhud (in prayer) he must seek refuge with Allah from four (trials) and should thus say:

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ عَذَابِ جَهَنَّمَ وَمِنْ عَذَابِ الْقَبْرِ وَمِنْ فِتْنَةِ الْمَحْيَا وَالْمَمَاتِ وَمِنْ شَرِّ فِتْنَةِ الْمَسِيحِ الدَّجَّالِ

“O Allah! I seek refuge with Thee from the torment of the Hell, from the torment of the grave, from the trial of life and death and from the evil of the trial of Masih al-Dajjal (Antichrist).” [Muslim]

He will be a combination of every tribulation, man has ever known. Trial of wealth (what owner of the two gardens suffered), power (taught through Dhul-Qarnayn’s story), knowledge (as learned in Musa alayhissalaam and Khidr’s story (alayhissalaam) and faith (what people of the cave went through).

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassalaam said: . . . Those of you who live up to his time should recite over him the opening verses of Surat al-Kahf, for they are your protection from his trial . . . [Abu Dawood]

9) To be companions of Isa alayhissalaam

Imagine Isa alayhissalaam repeating what he said once to his hawaariyyoon (disciples)— Who are my supporters? my companions for the sake of Allah? and you answering— we are supporters for Allah.

But for that, you need to survive the fitna (trial) of Dajjal and to protect yourself, you need to first memorize Surah Kahf’s verses and then live them as well.

But you may say that you won’t be living until that time.

First of all, who knows? Time is in Allah’s hands. He may stretch it or shrink it and the Hour may be upon us while we are unaware of it.

Secondly, if it doesn’t happen in your time, your later generations will be faced with that trial nonetheless. So to teach them these verses, you need to know them first yourself. Don’t you wish that the believers whose faces will be wiped by Isa alayhissalaam (who will tell them their status in Paradise), are among your generations? Something that will raise your ranks in Jannah as well inshaa Allah. Think ahead as Ibrahim alayhissalaam did. Allah indeed accepts the dua's but for that we need to put some effort too.

Back in our ancestry, may be there were companions of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wassallam or may be prophets themselves (after all we all are from Adam alayhissalaam/Nuh alayhissalaam who was aadam-e-thaani) and may Allah make our generations, down the line, as one of the hawaariyyoon.

10) There is a beautiful du'a at the end.

The tenth verse is a wonderful du'a which those young people of the cave (who Allah presented as role models for the youth) made.

So every time you recite these verses, you make this du'a also, asking for Allah’s special mercy (since the word min ladunka is used, which is superior to words min doonika or min indika— all meaning the same in English but in Arabic, each of them has a specific meaning).

Grant us mercy, very close and near to You, our Rabb, that comes especially from Your secret vaults, guidance, forgiveness and provision.

10 Practical Tips

1) Listen to these verses on repeat, till they roll on your tongue automatically. Listen to them while traveling, driving, cooking, cleaning etc.

2) Once you are done with the listening part for few days or hours (depending on every individual), keep the Qur'an in front of you (at eye level or slightly) to see the text while you listen to the verses. Listening also helps keep your tajweed right.

3) Don’t forget memorizing the translation with it for better understanding.

4) Train your brain with impression. Be impressed with the text. Stop and picture a scene in your mind to make the impression stronger.

5) Associate – Link the text to something you already know.

6) Repeat with your tongue (aloud) – The more you repeat, the more you remember.

7) Don’t say to yourself that you can not memorize because of your bad memory. Because to improve a bad memory, you need to memorize anyway. Believe in yourself that you can! Battle the bad with the good.

8) Once you have memorized them, recite them in your prayer. Break them down to five verses each rak’ah for ease. Practice makes a person perfect.

9) Have someone test what you have memorized

10) Last but not least, don’t worry because Allah will save it in your heart inshaa Allah.

وَلَقَدْ يَسَّرْ‌نَا ٱلْقُرْ‌ءَانَ لِلذِّكْرِ‌ فَهَلْ مِن مُّدَّكِرٍ‌ۢ ﴿١٧

“And We have certainly made the Qur'an easy to remember, so is there any who will remember?” [Qur'an, Al-Qamar 54:17,22,32,40]

Allah repeats this verse 4 times in the Surah for emphasis. The Qur'an is easy to remember for those who seek with a sincere heart and an open mind. So make a good intention, trust Allah and do it. You will see miraculous result inshaa Allah.

Remember when Allah asked Maryam, the mother of Isa (peace be upon them) to shake a date palm tree. 20 strong and healthy athletes will struggle to move a date tree. Imagine how difficult it must have been for a woman in labor! And yet Allah asked her to do it and she obeyed.

Then miraculously Allah brought for her dates and provided for her a stream. Our actions are not really of much use. It is Allah who brings the results. Our job is to do what He orders even if we do not understand His wisdom. And if we obey Him in times of darkness, He will shine His light from places we never imagined.

فَحَمَلَتْهُ فَٱنتَبَذَتْ بِهِۦ مَكَانًا قَصِيًّا ﴿٢٢﴾ فَأَجَآءَهَا ٱلْمَخَاضُ إِلَىٰ جِذْعِ ٱلنَّخْلَةِ قَالَتْ يَـٰلَيْتَنِى مِتُّ قَبْلَ هَـٰذَا وَكُنتُ نَسْيًا مَّنسِيًّا ﴿٢٣﴾ فَنَادَىٰهَا مِن تَحْتِهَآ أَلَّا تَحْزَنِى قَدْ جَعَلَ رَ‌بُّكِ تَحْتَكِ سَرِ‌يًّا ﴿٢٤﴾ وَهُزِّىٓ إِلَيْكِ بِجِذْعِ ٱلنَّخْلَةِ تُسَـٰقِطْ عَلَيْكِ رُ‌طَبًا جَنِيًّا ﴿٢٥

So she conceived him, and she withdrew with him to a remote place. (22) And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm tree. She said, "Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten." (23) But he called her from below her, "Do not grieve; your Lord has provided beneath you a stream. (24) And shake toward you the trunk of the palm tree; it will drop upon you ripe, fresh dates. (25) [Qur'an, Maryam 19:22-25]

May Allah help you with the memorization of it and grant us steadfastness and make us and our families His elect People of the Qur'an. Ameen.

And Allah knows best and He alone grant success.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassallam.

Wassalaam

Adapted from UnderstandQur'an.com