Motherhood

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said that the best of women are four: Maryam binti 'Imran, Khadijah binti Khuwaylid, Fatimah binti Muhammad Rasullullah and Asiya, the wife of Fir'aun (Pharoah of Egypt), may Allah be pleased with all of them.

It is not a coincidence that they were all mothers. Maryam was the mother of Prophet Isa alayhissalam; Khadijah was the mother of six of the Prophet's children, one of the them was Fatimah, the mother of Hasan and Hussain who will be leaders of the youth in Paradise (as mentioned in the hadith); Asiya was the foster mother of Prophet Musa alayhissalam.

We can understand from this fact that the nurturing which a pious woman gives her child, can elevate her to the highest level.

Taking care of our family is a great service for Allah and the reward is tremendous. Caring and raising our children is the best devotion to Allah. We should make our intention now that we want to raise our children to be people of taqwa, people who conform to the Divine and Sacred Laws and avoid haram (prohibitions). Once we do that, every single act we do, the reward is incredible. Even if our children do not turn out as we wish, we will be requited in Paradise forever according to our intention in raising them, which is that they should be godly.

What is in the heart of Islam is combating our lower self or ego (nafs). You have to lower your nafs when you are dealing with your children. Already, it is an endless effort just to keep basic things in order (almost a 24/7 job, it didn't go away even when you were able to catch a sleep). Motherhood gets tougher when they become grown ups and married and have children. And if you are a single parent or don't have a compassionate and merciful spouse, you have to step on your nafs even more. But, without realizing it, you learn to control your anger and you teach your nafs to be patient and ignore or subdue your own desires.

So, if you feel distracted and have no time to yourself to do extra worship while you see young people have memorized Qur'an and are advanced in their knowledge, don't feel that you are missing out or falling behind. Don’t underestimate the spiritual benefits of getting distracted by your children when you are trying to pray, read/memorize Qur'an, study or do dhikr. The moment the distraction is lessened, the fruits will start coming, and you will continue to harvest the fruits of your relatively short hard labor long after you are gone, inshaa Allah.

Allah promises that there is ease in difficulties.

فَإِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ‌ يُسْرً‌ا ﴿٥﴾ إِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ‌ يُسْرً‌ۭا ﴿٦﴾ فَإِذَا فَرَ‌غْتَ فَٱنصَبْ ﴿٧﴾ وَإِلَىٰ رَ‌بِّكَ فَٱرْ‌غَب ﴿٨

For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. (5) Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. (6) So when you have finished [your duties], then stand up [for worship]. (7) And to your Lord direct [your] longing. (8) [Qur'an, Al-Sharh 94:5-8]

Motherhood By Shaykh Nuh Ha Mim Keller (may Allah preserve him and increase him)

When she has her first baby, she must manage for another life even more dependent on her personal sacrifices. By the second, third, or fourth child, her days and nights belong almost entirely to others. Whether she has a spiritual path or not, such a mother can seldom resist a glance at the past, when there were more prayers, more meanings, more spiritual company, and more serenity. When Allah opens her understanding, she will see that she is engaged in one of the highest forms of worship, that of producing new believers who love and worship Allah. She is effectively worshiping Allah for as many lifetimes she has children, for the reward of every spiritual work her children do will be hers, without this diminishing anything of their own rewards: every ablution, every prayer, every Ramadan, every hajj, and even the works her children will in turn pass on to their offspring, and, so on till the end of time. Even if her children do not turn out as she wishes, she shall be requited in paradise forever according to her intention in raising them, which was that they should be godly.

Aside from the tremendous reward, within the path itself it is noticeable that many of those who benefit most from khalwa or ‘solitary retreat of dhikr’ are women who have raised children. With only a little daily dhikr and worship over the years, but much toil and sacrifice for others, they surpass many a younger person who has had more free time, effort, and ‘spiritual works.’ What they find is greater because their state with Allah is greater; namely, the awe, hope, and love of the Divine they have realized by years of sincerity to Him.

May Allah guide and increase the ranks of all the mothers in the world and grant them righteous offspring and families and make them great mothers and best educators. Ameen.

And Allah knows best and He alone grant success.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassallam.

Wassalaam