Your Mother, Your Mother, Your Mother

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate

Assalaamu alaykum

Dear Friends

I pray that you are well.

It is obvious that your parents deserve your utmost respect and devotion, second only to your Creator.

Allah Almighty says,

وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوٓا۟ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـٰنًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّۢ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا ﴿٢٣﴾ وَٱخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًا ﴿٢٤

And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. (23)

[Qur’an, Al-Isra' 17:23-24]

The fact that Allah has mentioned parents in the same verse as Himself shows the extent to which we should strive in our efforts to serve our parents who sacrificed so much for us. Doing so will help us to become better people.

Allah Almighty says,

وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُۥ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَـٰلُهُۥ فِى عَامَيْنِ أَنِ ٱشْكُرْ لِى وَلِوَٰلِدَيْكَ إِلَىَّ ٱلْمَصِيرُ ﴿١٤

And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.

[Qur'an, Luqman 31:14]

No one can deny the supreme sacrifice and care that a mother gives to her child. No one can match that ever, not your wife, not your husband, not your mother-in-law, not your best friends. The debt we owe to our mothers is magnified due to the difficult nature of pregnancy and giving birth - not to mention the nurturing and attention given to us during infancy.

A man came to Allah's Messenger (Allah bless him and grant him peace) and said, O Allah's Messenger! Who is more entitled to get my good companionship?" The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, "Your father.” [Bukhari]

Al-Bazzar recounts that a man was circumambulating the Ka'bah carrying his mother. The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) asked him, "Have you repaid her?" The man said, "No, not even for one of her moans (i.e. one of the moans of labor, delivery and so on) [Transmitted by Al-Bazzar (1872)] As to be good to her, it means treating her well, respecting her, humbling oneself in front of her, obeying her without disobeying Allah, seeking her satisfaction and pleasure in all matters, even in jihaad. If it is optional, he must have her permission, for being good to her in a type of jihaad. [ Jihaad is the struggle (physical, mental, psychological, spiritual, etc.) to preserve the purity and practice of Islam.]

A man came to the Prophet ((Allah bless him and grant him peace) and said, "O Messenger of Allah, I want to fight and I want your advice." He asked him, "Have you a mother?" The man said, "Yes." He said, "Do not leave her because Paradise is under her feet. [Transmitted by Al-Nisaai, 6/11; Ibn Majah, 1/278 and Al-Hakim. It is amended and approved by Al-Dhahaby, 4/151, on the authority of Muaaweya Ibn Jammah.]

On another occasion, the Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: "Allah has forbidden for you to be undutiful to your mothers..." [Bukhari]

Allah Almighty says,

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱتَّقُوا۟ رَ‌بَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَ‌ٰحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِ‌جَالًا كَثِيرً‌ۭا وَنِسَآءً ۚ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ ٱلَّذِى تَسَآءَلُونَ بِهِۦ وَٱلْأَرْ‌حَامَ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَ‌قِيبًا ﴿١

O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer. (1)

[Qur'an, An-Nisa 4:1]

In other words, you must treat your mothers in a manner befitting her exalted position. Each of us should appreciate what we have in our mothers. They are our teachers and our role models. Every day with them is an opportunity to grow as a person. Every day away from them is a missed opportunity.

The mother who is cherished that much by Islam and given all these rights has a task to perform. She has to take care of her children, raise them well, implant Islamic virtues, and make them loathe evil. She has to teach them to obey Allah, encourage them to defend what is truthful, not dissuade them from fighting for the sake of Allah (one form of jihad) because of the motherly sentiments in her heart but to favor the correct way over sentiment.

A believing mother, Al-Khansaa, in the Battle of Qadesseyah eloquently urged her four sons to be brave and steadfast. Then as soon as the battle was over and the news of their four deaths came to her, she did not wail and carry on but said with certainty and contentment, "Praise be to Allah who honored me with their martyrdom for His faith."

Immortal mothers

There are superb examples of good mothers who had influence and position in the history of the faith in Allah. Prophet Musa's mother, for example, responded to Allah's inspiration and calling when she cast the apple of her eye into the river, assured of Allah's promise: "And We inspired the mother of Musa, (saying): `suckle him (Musa), but when you fear for him, then cast him into the river and fear not, nor grieve. Verily! We shall bring him back for you, and shall make him one of (Our) Messengers." [Qur'an, Al-Qasas 28:7]

There is also Maryam's mother, who promised what she had in her womb to be devoted to Allah, to be pure of any polytheism or worship of anything other than Allah. She prayed to Allah to accept her vow: "so accept (this), from me. Verily, You are the All-Hearer, the All-Knowing". [ Surah 3:35] When the child turned out to be a female, which she had not expected, it did not prevent her from fulfilling her vow, asking Allah to protect her from all evil: "and I seek refuge with You (Allah) for her and for her offspring from Satan, the outcast" [Qur'an, AleImran 3:36]

The Qur'an has made Maryam (may Allah be pleased with her), daughter of `Imran and mother of the Prophet Isa (peace be upon him), an example of purity, humility to Allah and of faith in His word. "And Maryam, the daughter of `Imran who guarded her chastity; and We breathed into (the sleeve of her shirt or her garment) through Our "Ruh" (i.e. Jibril), and she testified to the truth of the Words of her Lord (believed in the Words of Allah "Be! and he was; that is Isa, son of Maryam;-as a Messenger of Allah), and (also believed in) His Scriptures, and she was of the Qanitun (i.e. obedient to Allah). [Qur'an, At-Tahrim 66:12]

My Lord, forgive me and my parents and him who enters my house believing, and the believers male and female, the living from among them and those who have passed away

My Lord, have mercy on my parents as they nurtured me when I was little.

رَ‌بَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَ‌ٰجِنَا وَذُرِّ‌يَّـٰتِنَا قُرَّ‌ةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَٱجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.

Ameen.

And Allah knows best and He alone grant success.

Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wassallam.

Wassalaam