In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum
Dear Friends
I pray that you are well.
The company you keep says a lot about you, because your companions have a major influence on how you feel, think, and behave.
Abu Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) said, “A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends." [Sunan Abu Dawud]
You should be careful about who you surround yourself with and observe Taqwa in choosing your companions. If you are indifferent, you will suffer losses in this world and the hereafter.
The reality is that you're likely to start acting more like the people you surround yourself with. When you pick friends who make poor choices, you could get dragged down fast. When you choose people who inspire and challenge you to be better, you'll increase your chances of reaching your goals.
If you struggle to resist temptation, surrounding yourself with people who possess a high degree of self-discipline can help. Since self-control is vital to reaching long-term goals, befriending people with willpower could be a stealth secret to success.
Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with father and son) relates: “The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and grant him peace) was asked: ‘Which friends are the best?’ He said: ‘One whose sight reminds you of Allah, whose saying adds to your knowledge, and whose deeds remind you of the hereafter.”
Allah Almighty says,
وَٱصْبِرْ نَفْسَكَ مَعَ ٱلَّذِينَ يَدْعُونَ رَبَّهُم بِٱلْغَدَوٰةِ وَٱلْعَشِىِّ يُرِيدُونَ وَجْهَهُۥ ۖ وَلَا تَعْدُ عَيْنَاكَ عَنْهُمْ تُرِيدُ زِينَةَ ٱلْحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنْيَا ۖ وَلَا تُطِعْ مَنْ أَغْفَلْنَا قَلْبَهُۥ عَن ذِكْرِنَا وَٱتَّبَعَ هَوَىٰهُ وَكَانَ أَمْرُهُۥ فُرُطًا ﴿٢٨[Qur'an, Al-Kahf 18:28]
And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them, desiring adornments of the worldly life, and do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever [in] neglect. (28)
In traditions, it has been advised not to associate with fool, miser, timid, liar, astray, wrongdoer, adulterer, tyrant king, deceitful friend, wealthy oppressor, enemy, one who has no love for relatives, evildoers, people of heresies, and those who curse the friends of Allah.
A wise person said, "Avoid making friend with a fool, for he intends to benefit you, but he will harm you. Avoid making friend with a miser, for he prevents you from getting what you need. Avoid making friend with a wrongdoer, for he betrays you out for a little. Avoid making friend with a liar, for he is like a mirage that makes far things appear close to you and makes close things appear far to you."
When it comes to social media, “the more the merrier” may not be the best approach. Researchers linked an abundance of social media connections to increased anxiety about offending people. This effect stemmed from people's desire to present a version of themselves that would be acceptable to all their social media contacts. So before you begin adding people to your social circle, remember the potential downside to having too many friends on social media.
It can be hard to pinpoint exactly what makes a good friend. The way you can tell the sign of a good friend is by looking at the actions they take — big and small — that show they care. At the same time we must be careful who we spend a lot of time with; we all have a propensity to imitate the habits and adopt the interest and opinions of our close friends and we inadvertently embrace the values they profess.
Some common signs of a good friend include; their unconditional support, non-judgment, trustworthiness, sensitivity about our feelings, no put downs, kindness and respect, someone who love us out of choice not out of compulsion, someone who enjoy our company and vice versa, loyalty, telling us the truth even when it is difficult to do so, someone who laughs with us, they stick around in all circumstances, someone who gladdens our hearts and makes us smile, and most importantly someone who is always present and willing to listen to us.
Moral influence is a two way street and thus we should make sure by our own thoughts, words and deeds to be, a positive influence on our friends as well. The real test of personal excellence is how we conduct ourselves in all matters at all times. It is our actions, which speaks louder than words.
Choose your friends who are dependable and honest. Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who show you love and respect — people who reciprocate kindness.
Proceed slowly into new friendships until you know you have common values and perspectives. Be a reliable friend to your new friend. This will take some time and commitment on your part before you can expect it from them.
An important part of having a successful companionship is knowing that you can rely on them to be there to support you, spend time with you and be honest with you. Good friends allow you to experience life appropriately because you can always be your true self around them. You never have to wear a mask, and that is the most joyous way to go through life.
Friends can help bring out the best in you without expecting perfection. They can remind you about the reality of this life, as well as give you that much needed boost when you’re feeling discouraged.
May Allah grant us taqwa and good righteous companions and make us of the righteous. Ameen.
Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wasallam.
And Allah knows best and He alone grants success.
Wassalaam
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