Bismillah
When we say Allah is Ar-Rahman, we can't grasp it totally in our brains except that we know Allah is All Merciful.
Allah give you so much mercy in everyday of your life and all He is asking for you to do with your life is to do your best to be grateful to Him, to do your best to worship Him, knowing that you are going to make mistakes, that you are going to sin, and when you do so, to turn back to Him in repentence, and He will forgive you. This is Ar-Rahman.
You think you are not going to Jannah because you think your life is too bad and you have have done too many wrongs and so much has happened between you and Allah that you can't be a good Muslim anymore. Who are you fooling? You are not fooling anyone and not even yourself. Allah is Ar-Rahman.
Think about the problems we have with each other. Think about the families that are broken up over arguments. Think about siblings that don't talk to each other in years over incidents. Think about parents and children who are estranged. Yet we want Allah to let go everything that we have done go but you can't let it go? If you want to be forgiven, you have to learn to forgive. If you want to be shown mercy, show it yourself.
The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said,
Allah will not show mercy to a person who does not show mercy to other people.
Mercy is only removed from the one who is destined for wretchedness.
Be merciful to those in the earth, so the One above the heavens will be merciful to you.
May Allah rain down His Mercy upon us and the Ummah. Aameen
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