Forgive And Forget

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم 

When Allah accepts our repentance, all our past sins are removed. But with humans, even if you forgave someone, that doesn't mean you forget what they have done to you -- memories of the hurt can come back and hurt you again. Human beings are not capable of forgiving in the same way as Allah does. 

Asking for forgiveness is for yourself, an acknowledgment that you have crossed that line. You don't expect people to forgive you or if they forgive you, you cannot expect everything will be good again. Their resentment is theirs. Whether Allah removes it for them or not, it is not up to you. Your words don't change hearts. You apologize because you did something and it is for you, for your conscience. You are trying to remove the resentment from your heart and to heal your heart. 

If you start having expections from the other person, then the apology is not genuine to begin with. Don't say things that you don't mean. Merely saying sorry doesn't  mean anything. Say it from your heart.

يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لِمَ تَقُولُونَ مَا لَا تَفْعَلُونَ ‎﴿٢﴾‏ كَبُرَ مَقْتًا عِندَ ٱللَّهِ أَن تَقُولُوا۟ مَا لَا تَفْعَلُونَ ‎﴿٣﴾

 

O you who have believed, why do you say what you do not do? (2) Great is hatred in the sight of Allah that you say what you do not do. (3)

[Quran, al Saff 61:2-3]

Don't say things expecting from other people. Say things expecting from Allah.

وَٱلَّذِينَ جَآءُو مِنۢ بَعْدِهِمْ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا ٱغْفِرْ لَنَا وَلِإِخْوَٰنِنَا ٱلَّذِينَ سَبَقُونَا بِٱلْإِيمَٰنِ وَلَا تَجْعَلْ فِى قُلُوبِنَا غِلًّا لِّلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ رَبَّنَآ إِنَّكَ رَءُوفٌ رَّحِيمٌ ‎﴿١٠﴾

And [there is a share for] those who came after them, saying, "Our Lord, forgive us and our brothers who preceded us in faith and put not in our hearts [any] resentment toward those who have believed. Our Lord, indeed You are Kind and Merciful."

[Quran, Al Hashr 59:10]

وَجَزَٰٓؤُا۟ سَيِّئَةٍ سَيِّئَةٌ مِّثْلُهَا ۖ فَمَنْ عَفَا وَأَصْلَحَ فَأَجْرُهُۥ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ لَا يُحِبُّ ٱلظَّٰلِمِينَ ‎﴿٤٠﴾

And the retribution for an evil act is an evil one like it, but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation - his reward is [due] from Allah. Indeed, He does not like wrongdoers.

[Quran, Shura 42:40]

May Allah make us genuine in our relationships and remove our resentment towards other believers. Aameen.

www.darannoor.com