In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum
Dear Friends
I pray that you are well.
Everybody desires a good life. It is inherent within all of us. To enjoy a good life, there are a number of things one must do first.
Good life is a reward of being righteous.
Allah Almighty says,
مَنْ عَمِلَ صَالِحًا مِّن ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنثَىٰ وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ فَلَنُحْيِيَنَّهُ حَيَاةً طَيِّبَةً ۖ وَلَنَجْزِيَنَّهُمْ أَجْرَهُم بِأَحْسَنِ مَا كَانُوا يَعْمَلُونَ ﴿٩٧[Quran Al-Nahl 16:97]
Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer - We will surely cause him to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward [in the Hereafter] according to the best of what they used to do. (97)
But what is this 'good life?' Good life includes feeling tranquility in all aspects of life.
Ali ibn Abi Talib interpreted good life as contentment. This was also the opinion of Ibn Abbas, Ikrimah and Wahb bin Munabbih. Ali bin Abi Talhah recorded from Ibn Abbas that it meant happiness. [Tafsir ibn Kathir]
If you are not happy and content with your life, try this:
1. Let go of wanting to be in control. Don't try to control people. Don't try to change people. Don't try to bend things your way. It's gonna break sooner of later--either you or the other person or both. Don't get upset if things don't go your way. Remember, Allah is in control of everything. Trust your affairs with Allah Al-Wakeel. Do your part and trust that He will give you the best result. This will give you peace.
رَّبُّ الْمَشْرِقِ وَالْمَغْرِبِ لَا إِلَـٰهَ إِلَّا هُوَ فَاتَّخِذْهُ وَكِيلًا ﴿٩[Quran Al-Muzzammil 73:9]
[He is] the Lord of the East and the West; there is no deity except Him, so take Him as Disposer of [your] affairs. (9)
2. Let go of complaining. When does complaining ever make you feel honorable? Positive thinking is extremely powerful. You can complain because roses have thorns or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
Look at those who stand at a lower level than you but don’t look at those who stand at a higher level than you, for this would make the favors (conferred upon you by Allah) insignificant (in your eyes). [Muslim]
3. Let go of always wanting to be right. Shaytan loves to cause dissension between people. No one is perfect, no one is always right, and this maybe the one time you might be wrong. It is more important being kind than being right. If someone tells you the sky is blue when it is cloudy, so what? ...move on. Look up to the sky and find a small patch of blue in it and agree, and you will make the person love you (even more), rather than hate you.
The Prophet salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said, “I guarantee a house in Jannah for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right . . . (part of the hadith)” [Sunan Abu Dawud]
4. Let go of criticizing others. Stop when you find yourself criticizing someone and check your intention. Is it for the sake of Allah or is it for your own image or reputation?
The Prophet salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: Make things easy for the people, and do not make it difficult for them, and make them calm (with glad tidings) and do not repel them (i.e. make them hate good deeds and run away from Islam). [Bukhari]
5. Let go of the self-defeating mindset. Whatever Allah commands us to do, it is something we can do, and whatever difficulties we go through, it is something we can handle. Allah does not put a burden on any soul more than it can bear.
... لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّـهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا ۚ لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتْ وَعَلَيْهَا مَا اكْتَسَبَتْ ۗ[Qur'an Al-Baqarah 2:286]
Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned...
Belief and good deeds make you the best of creatures.
إِنَّ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ أُولَـٰئِكَ هُمْ خَيْرُ الْبَرِيَّةِ ﴿٧[Quran Al-Bayyinah 98:7]
Indeed, they who have believed and done righteous deeds - those are the best of creatures. (7)
6. Let go of blaming others. When you point your finger at anyone, it is often a moment of judgement. We point our fingers when we want to scold someone, point out what they have done wrong. But each time we point, we simultaneously point three fingers back at ourselves. Pointing fingers at others do you no good. Stop putting your moods and happiness in the hands of others and take responsibility yourself.
مَّنْ عَمِلَ صَالِحًا فَلِنَفْسِهِ ۖ وَمَنْ أَسَاءَ فَعَلَيْهَا ۗ وَمَا رَبُّكَ بِظَلَّامٍ لِّلْعَبِيدِ ﴿٤٦[Quran Al-Fussilat 46]
Whoever does righteousness - it is for his [own] soul; and whoever does evil [does so] against it. And your Lord is not ever unjust to [His] servants. (46)
7. Let go of trying to impress others. Remember, the one you are trying to impress doesn't have anything that doesn't belong to Allah.
Don't worry about what people think of you when suddenly you start praying, fasting, going to the masjid, putting on the hijab, learning Qur'an, etc. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others because your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
The Prophet salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: Whoever seeks knowledge in order to compete with the scholars, or to debate with the foolish, or to draw people’s attention, Allah will put him into the Fire. [Narrated from At-Tirmidhi as taken from Mishkat]
8. Let go of attachment to this world. Attachment often comes from a place of fear. Love and attachment are two different things. You can love a person or a thing but you should not attach to it, being left completely empty when you lose it.
"O Men, if you have been worshipping Muhammad, then know that Muhammad is dead. But if you have been worshipping Allah, then know that Allah is living and never dies." [Abu Bakr radiyallahu ‘anhu]
Many of the things we desire are expensive. The truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free--love, smiles, laughter and working on our passion. Our passion should be drawing near to Allah, Most High. This is the most pleasurable job and the easiest but many people don't realize this and so they run away and hide from it.
9. Let go of your excuses. Excuses stands in the way of our own happiness. Most people who fail are the ones who have a habit of making excuses. Successful people turn obstacles into assets. They have at hand— whatever comes along—and try to use everything at their disposal in achieving their goals. And that is why they are grateful for surprises, obstacles, and even disappointments. It gives them more information and resources to draw upon.
The Prophet salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: Mankind will not perish till they make excuses for their conduct to themselves. [Mishkat]
10. Let go of the past. Don't dwell on the past. It is a place to visit but you don't want to live there. Live in the present. You are not a slave of the past, you are a slave of Allah to Whom you will be returning. So turn towards Him and start moving.
No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allah’s Decree. [Umar ibn al-Khattab radiyallahu ‘anhu]
11. Let go of your fears. Fear is just an illusion. When you let go of your fears and only fear Allah, you will be free.
إِنَّمَا ذَٰلِكُمُ الشَّيْطَانُ يُخَوِّفُ أَوْلِيَاءَهُ فَلَا تَخَافُوهُمْ وَخَافُونِ إِن كُنتُم مُّؤْمِنِينَ ﴿١٧٥[Qur'an AleImran 3: 175]
That is only Satan who frightens [you] of his supporters. So fear them not, but fear Me, if you are [indeed] believers. (175)
12. Let go of living up to others’ expectations. Pleasing people is never easy. If you please one person, another person might not be pleased with you. Start doing things to please only Allah and you will never feel stuck between two hard rocks.
The Prophet salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: If anyone seeks Allah’s satisfaction at the expense of people’s anger, Allah will be pleased with him and will cause people to be pleased with him. However, if anyone seeks people’s satisfaction at the expense of Allah’s anger, Allah will be angry with him and will cause people to be angry with him. [Ibn Hibban]
May Allah grant us tawfiq and good in this life and the next and save us from the Fire. Ameen.
Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.
And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam
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