بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate
Assalaamu alaykum
Dear Friends
I pray that you are well.
The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, said,
"A woman is married because of her righteousness, wealth or beauty. So go for the one who is religious and may your hands be filled with dust." (Muslim)
"A man marries a woman for four reasons: for her property, for her rank, for her beauty, and for her religion (and character). So marry the one who is best in the religion and character and prosper." (Bukhari and Muslim)
"He who marries a woman for her possessions and beauty loses both beauty and her possessions; (but) he who marries her for the sake of her faith will be blessed by God with her possessions and her beauty."
"A woman should not be married (only) for her beauty, because her beauty may destroy her; neither for her wealth, as this may make her tyrannical, (rather) marry the woman for her religious faith."
The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him peace, emphatically recommended religious faith, because such a woman would bolster the husband's faith. If she is not pious, she will be an element of distraction and of trouble in her husband's religion.
Good character is important requisite in the search for emptying the heart and in the pursuit of favorable surroundings for religion. If the woman is vicious, ill-tongued, ill-mannered, and ungrateful, more harm than good will come from her.
Do not marry one of the following six types of women:
1. an anaanah (hypochondriac) -- a woman who whines and complains, constantly ill or feigns illness, loses her head over everything.
2. a mannaanah (upbraider) -- a woman who constantly needling her husband by saying, "I did such and such for you."
3. a hannaanah (yearner) -- a woman who yearns after a previous husband or after her offspring from some other husband.
4. a hiddaaqah (coveter) -- a woman who looks at everything, covets it, and forces her husband to buy it.
5. a barraaqah narcissist) -- a woman who spends the whole day fixing her face or making it up and beautifying it in order to give it lustre, or the one who becomes angry at mealtime, thus eating only by herself and singling out her share from everything (a woman who pouts).
6. a shaddaaqah (prattler)-- a woman who prattles a great deal (a talkative/loudmouthed woman)
It is related that the Azdi traveler, during his journey, met Ilyaas who ordered him to get married and discouraged him from celibacy. He then said, "Don't marry a woman of the following four types:
1. a mukhtali'aah (divorce-minded) -- a woman who asks for the divorce (khul') every hour for no reason
2. a mubaariyah (boaster) -- a woman one who boasts of the superiority of another and is proud of her worldly advantages
3. an 'aahirah (harlot) -- a loose woman who is known to have boyfriends or paramours. To her the Almighty referred when He said, "nor of loose conduct." (Qur'an 4:25]
4. a naashiz (conceited) -- the one who adopts a haughty attitude toward her husband in deed and word.
Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, used to say, "The worst characteristics of men constitute the best characteristics of women: namely, stinginess, pride, and cowardice; for if the woman is stingy, she will preserve her own and her husband;s possessions; if she is proud, she will refrain from addressing loose and improper words to everyone; and if she is cowardly, she will dread everything and will therefore not go out of her house and will avoid compromising situations for fear of her husband."
May Allah remove our blameworthy traits and adorn us with noble characteristics, and grant us righteous companions. Ameen.
Please don't forget us in your night prayers. Jazakallahu khairan.
And Allah knows best.
Wassalaam
When the Honeymoon is Over
Source: Imam Ghazali's Ihya' Ulum Al-Din (The Revival of Religious Sciences)
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